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explod
explod
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I can juggle that,
I think
Yes, no, no, yes.
Say again
I think
Yes, no, no, yes.
Say again
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https://flic.kr/p/qCLr1f
Saudi Arabia CRACKDOWN: Satire to see FIVE YEAR jail terms - ‘a dark time for freedom’
https://www.express.co.uk/news/world/1013293/saudi-arabia-news-social-media-satire-online-penalty
Saudi Arabia CRACKDOWN: Satire to see FIVE YEAR jail terms - ‘a dark time for freedom’
https://www.express.co.uk/news/world/1013293/saudi-arabia-news-social-media-satire-online-penalty
Last edited:
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This woman is the joke of the day. I could not stop laughing.
'I didn't spend eight years at university for this': Academic slams Qantas after flight attendant calls her Miss instead of Doctor.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ight-attendant-calls-Miss-instead-Doctor.html
She is a joke for calling out the flight attendant. The flight attendant should have said "tickets please"
Her PhD was "Wankers with Honours"
Besides a PhD in philosophy doesn't make you a "Doctor". A Doctor is someone who practices medicine.
(I know it's the academic custom)
'I didn't spend eight years at university for this': Academic slams Qantas after flight attendant calls her Miss instead of Doctor.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/art...ight-attendant-calls-Miss-instead-Doctor.html
She is a joke for calling out the flight attendant. The flight attendant should have said "tickets please"
Her PhD was "Wankers with Honours"
Besides a PhD in philosophy doesn't make you a "Doctor". A Doctor is someone who practices medicine.
(I know it's the academic custom)
Dear god its an aussie as well.
Knobby22
Mmmmmm 2nd breakfast
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Course it is. We passed the Poms as the world's biggest whingers some time ago.[emoji58]
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Possibly so. But the snowflakes at US universities would give us a run for our money.
You been to Melbourne lately?
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Kids gave me a voucher from the local bottle shop for Christmas.
So I rode my bicycle there and bought a very nice bottle of scotch. I put it in the bicycle basket and then thought about it. If I fall off the bike the bottle will break. So I drank all the scotch before I cycled home.
It turned out to be a very good decision as I fell off the bicycle seven times on the way home!
So I rode my bicycle there and bought a very nice bottle of scotch. I put it in the bicycle basket and then thought about it. If I fall off the bike the bottle will break. So I drank all the scotch before I cycled home.
It turned out to be a very good decision as I fell off the bicycle seven times on the way home!
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Kids gave me a voucher from the local bottle shop for Christmas.
So I rode my bicycle there and bought a very nice bottle of scotch. I put it in the bicycle basket and then thought about it. If I fall off the bike the bottle will break. So I drank all the scotch before I cycled home.
It turned out to be a very good decision as I fell off the bicycle seven times on the way home!
So I rode my bicycle there and bought a very nice bottle of scotch. I put it in the bicycle basket and then thought about it. If I fall off the bike the bottle will break. So I drank all the scotch before I cycled home.
It turned out to be a very good decision as I fell off the bicycle seven times on the way home!
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@jbocker I was a heavy scotch drinker once & I tended to repeat myself (a lot) - some found it funny, I got the same feeling when I read your repeated post..
Skate.
tech/a
No Ordinary Duck
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Older guy looks in the rear view mirror and sees cops behind him
Thinking he may never get a licence back if it’s taken off him he takes off
Cops behind him.
10 min later he’s forgotten why he’s fleeing so pulls over.
Cop gets out and says “ I’m about to knock off I can’t belive you just took off”
“ If you can give me an excuse I’ve never heard then I’ll let you go”
Old guy pauses for a second and says
“ 25 years ago my wife ran off with a cop —— I thought you were bringing her back!”
Have a great day Sir!
Thinking he may never get a licence back if it’s taken off him he takes off
Cops behind him.
10 min later he’s forgotten why he’s fleeing so pulls over.
Cop gets out and says “ I’m about to knock off I can’t belive you just took off”
“ If you can give me an excuse I’ve never heard then I’ll let you go”
Old guy pauses for a second and says
“ 25 years ago my wife ran off with a cop —— I thought you were bringing her back!”
Have a great day Sir!
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Why is Christmas just like your job? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Why shouldn't you mess with Santa? Because he has a black belt.
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He no longer believed in himself.
What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve? A pack of batteries with a note saying "toy not included".
Why is Santa so jolly? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Why shouldn't you mess with Santa? Because he has a black belt.
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He no longer believed in himself.
What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve? A pack of batteries with a note saying "toy not included".
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Phew. I thought I was seeing double.
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After the honeymoon, Tom was welding some stuff in the garage for fun.
His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally said: "Honey, I've just been thinking; now that we are married, maybe you don't need to spend so much of your time out here in your garage and could consider selling some of your machinery and stuff…like your gun collection, fishing gear, boat, and lose all those stupid model airplanes. And sell that vintage hot rod sports car, and dump that home brewing kit”…Tom got a horrified look on his face and silently stared at her.. She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"
He replied, “Nothing…but for a minute there, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
"Ex-wife!?" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”
Tom replied, “I wasn’t…."
His new wife was standing there by the bench watching him. After a long period of silence she finally said: "Honey, I've just been thinking; now that we are married, maybe you don't need to spend so much of your time out here in your garage and could consider selling some of your machinery and stuff…like your gun collection, fishing gear, boat, and lose all those stupid model airplanes. And sell that vintage hot rod sports car, and dump that home brewing kit”…Tom got a horrified look on his face and silently stared at her.. She said, "Darling, what's wrong?"
He replied, “Nothing…but for a minute there, you were starting to sound like my ex-wife.”
"Ex-wife!?" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!”
Tom replied, “I wasn’t…."
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Broadcast in 1976. Just in case a few jokes are not appropriate these sensitive days.
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Talking to some mates over the weekend, about cashless society, and what do they use for bigger ticket items and where.
Johnny Ray said I only use card and I only shop Harvey Normans
Danny John said I only use cash and I only shop Cash and Carry
and
Larry Ken said I never use Cash nor Card and I only shop Lift
Johnny Ray said I only use card and I only shop Harvey Normans
Danny John said I only use cash and I only shop Cash and Carry
and
Larry Ken said I never use Cash nor Card and I only shop Lift
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Who's to blame A sad joke
Forget who to blame and who to laud among the politicians
The real culprit here is the australian electorate. They have done the broader community damage. By that I mean the kids who make up the balance of the community.and who they profess to love, do anything for, would put their kids life before theirs at the drop of a hat.
Yet their greed and their collective intellectual gifts preclude that. They have not the vision and the imagination it requires, to extend beyond the next 5 minutes let alone 50 years.They have not the whit to see beyond the blandishments of marketing that litter and pollute everyday life. If it was a family you were dealing with you would call in DOCS to save the kids from the stupidity of the parents. And so, they will continue to lay the ground work for the likely wasteland to come in which their kids and their kids... will need to survive
Especially culpable are the boomer generation, the"its all about me" generation. Over their lifetime they have exploited their voting power to rob fellow members of the community of opportunity and their fair share of community wealth and hidden behind excuses provided by the intellectual giants in conservative ranks and spread and supported by Rupert's tabloid media in particular. In essence, as shallow as a puddle of piss.
No credit to scummo and his horde. They well understood the selfishness and anti-community at the core of the electorate because they are at the heart of it and fully invested in it. They are able to reflect it and have the ethical and moral measure to profit from it.
So all it took was a low level marketing operative to "win". No credit there.
Forget who to blame and who to laud among the politicians
The real culprit here is the australian electorate. They have done the broader community damage. By that I mean the kids who make up the balance of the community.and who they profess to love, do anything for, would put their kids life before theirs at the drop of a hat.
Yet their greed and their collective intellectual gifts preclude that. They have not the vision and the imagination it requires, to extend beyond the next 5 minutes let alone 50 years.They have not the whit to see beyond the blandishments of marketing that litter and pollute everyday life. If it was a family you were dealing with you would call in DOCS to save the kids from the stupidity of the parents. And so, they will continue to lay the ground work for the likely wasteland to come in which their kids and their kids... will need to survive
Especially culpable are the boomer generation, the"its all about me" generation. Over their lifetime they have exploited their voting power to rob fellow members of the community of opportunity and their fair share of community wealth and hidden behind excuses provided by the intellectual giants in conservative ranks and spread and supported by Rupert's tabloid media in particular. In essence, as shallow as a puddle of piss.
No credit to scummo and his horde. They well understood the selfishness and anti-community at the core of the electorate because they are at the heart of it and fully invested in it. They are able to reflect it and have the ethical and moral measure to profit from it.
So all it took was a low level marketing operative to "win". No credit there.
Zaxon
The voice of reason
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Er, this is a joke thread.
I thought the tears were hilarious.
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