- Joined
- 31 May 2006
- Posts
- 1,941
- Reactions
- 2
I think you might be having your own seniors moment 20/20 - look back up the thread five posts prior to your post above ... 
- Joined
- 28 May 2006
- Posts
- 9,985
- Reactions
- 2
LOL - thought it sounded familiar
(I also got it in an email lol).
How about this one then ...
Lill Johnny asks his Granddad "say granda, do you and gran still have sex?"
the old bloke replies (after a pause) "only oral sex, Johnny"
... "oral sex, what's that Granpa?"
"well, I tell Gran to f*** off, and she turns and tells me to f*** off too"
(I also got it in an email lol).
How about this one then ...
Lill Johnny asks his Granddad "say granda, do you and gran still have sex?"
the old bloke replies (after a pause) "only oral sex, Johnny"
... "oral sex, what's that Granpa?"
"well, I tell Gran to f*** off, and she turns and tells me to f*** off too"
- Joined
- 2 July 2008
- Posts
- 7,102
- Reactions
- 6
Some years ago a baby boy was born in a Brisbane hospital. The parents and the doctors were distressed when it was discovered that he had no eyelids. A plastic surgeon was called in and he explained to the parents that he thought the problem could be fixed by a skingraft from his foreskin to his eyelids. The worried mother said;
"But Doctor, won't that make him cockeyed"
And the surgeon said;
"Well yes. But he will have wonderful foresight"
"But Doctor, won't that make him cockeyed"
And the surgeon said;
"Well yes. But he will have wonderful foresight"
- Joined
- 22 August 2008
- Posts
- 914
- Reactions
- 20
I've been told I have to tell a joke.... I have kids...you have been warned.
Why do gorilla's have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!!
Why do gorilla's have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers!!
- Joined
- 2 July 2008
- Posts
- 7,102
- Reactions
- 6
Sir Os. Here's one for the kids.
Why did Miss Beetroot blush?
Because she saw Mr Greenpea over the fence.
Why did Miss Beetroot blush?
Because she saw Mr Greenpea over the fence.
- Joined
- 31 May 2006
- Posts
- 1,941
- Reactions
- 2
And I always thought it was because she saw the salad dressing ...
- Joined
- 28 May 2006
- Posts
- 9,985
- Reactions
- 2
Lol - next we get the knock knock jokes.
Knock Knock! Who's there?
Aardvark.
Aardvark who? Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles.
Knock Knock! Who's there?
Wendy.
Wendy Who? Wendy Red Red Robin Comes Bob Bob Bobbing' Along...
Knock Knock! Who's there?
Dexter.
Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly.
Knock Knock! Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who ? Olive you!
Knock Knock! Who's there?
Hawaii.
Hawaii who? I'm fine, Hawaii you?
groan etc
http://www.knock-knock-joke.com/knock_knock_001.htm
- Joined
- 31 January 2007
- Posts
- 411
- Reactions
- 0
2020, why did you ask him to tell a joke? That's gotta be about the worst thing you have ever done on this forum.
OK if we have got down to this level (worst joke of the year) then how about this:-
A Jewish man and his wife were planning a vacation. They ended up in
an argument, though...
"It's 'Hawaii' I'm telling you!" she said.
"Oy! I never KNEW someone so stubborn! 'Havaii' is how it's
pronounced!" he replied. And so it went all the way to the vacation...
As they got off the airplane, they passed by a man. The husband
abruptly stopped the wife and turned to the man to ask, "Now that
we're on the island, you can settle an argument between my wife and I.
Is this 'Hawaii' or 'Havaii?'"
"This is Havaii," the man replied.
"Ha!" the husband said, turning to his wife, "See, didn't I tell you
never to argue with me? I'm always right!" As the began to walk
away, he turned back and gave the man a hearty "Thank you!"
"You're Velcome!!!"
OK if we have got down to this level (worst joke of the year) then how about this:-
A Jewish man and his wife were planning a vacation. They ended up in
an argument, though...
"It's 'Hawaii' I'm telling you!" she said.
"Oy! I never KNEW someone so stubborn! 'Havaii' is how it's
pronounced!" he replied. And so it went all the way to the vacation...
As they got off the airplane, they passed by a man. The husband
abruptly stopped the wife and turned to the man to ask, "Now that
we're on the island, you can settle an argument between my wife and I.
Is this 'Hawaii' or 'Havaii?'"
"This is Havaii," the man replied.
"Ha!" the husband said, turning to his wife, "See, didn't I tell you
never to argue with me? I'm always right!" As the began to walk
away, he turned back and gave the man a hearty "Thank you!"
"You're Velcome!!!"
- Joined
- 28 May 2006
- Posts
- 9,985
- Reactions
- 2
Lol
reminds me of the old one...
the three old hunters in the very English Club in Colonial India ...
"it's WOMBB!"
"no it's not it's WOOMB!"
"no it's not, it's WOOOMMBBB" says the third.
A visitor leans over and interrupts " Sorry But I'm an Oxford graduate, and I have to set the record straight here ... it's WOMB!"
They stare at him, whilst he aristocratically turns and leaves their company very pleased with himself.
Hey , says the first, "how would he know the sound of a water buffalo farting under water anyway."
reminds me of the old one...
the three old hunters in the very English Club in Colonial India ...
"it's WOMBB!"
"no it's not it's WOOMB!"
"no it's not, it's WOOOMMBBB" says the third.
A visitor leans over and interrupts " Sorry But I'm an Oxford graduate, and I have to set the record straight here ... it's WOMB!"
They stare at him, whilst he aristocratically turns and leaves their company very pleased with himself.
Hey , says the first, "how would he know the sound of a water buffalo farting under water anyway."
- Joined
- 28 May 2006
- Posts
- 9,985
- Reactions
- 2
bit like this one.. (cripes these are old )
Like the two old blokes in the English club...
"mmm, mmm You know Wotheringtonthwaite, mm I was in India once.."
" oooohhh, that must have been exciting, mmm "
"mmm yes, and I went tiger hunting once, mmmm"
"'ooooh, "
"out in the jungle we were ..."
"'ooooh, "
"and just as we came around the corner ... RRROOOAAARRRR!!"
"'ooooh my GOOdness - what happened",
.."mmm I made a mess of my pants, mmm"
"I don't blame you I would have too,,, mmm"
" no, no , mm, I don;t mean then , - I mean just now when I went RRROOOAAARRRR!!"
) Like the two old blokes in the English club...
"mmm, mmm You know Wotheringtonthwaite, mm I was in India once.."
" oooohhh, that must have been exciting, mmm "
"mmm yes, and I went tiger hunting once, mmmm"
"'ooooh, "
"out in the jungle we were ..."
"'ooooh, "
"and just as we came around the corner ... RRROOOAAARRRR!!"
"'ooooh my GOOdness - what happened",
.."mmm I made a mess of my pants, mmm"
"I don't blame you I would have too,,, mmm"
" no, no , mm, I don;t mean then , - I mean just now when I went RRROOOAAARRRR!!"
- Joined
- 28 May 2006
- Posts
- 9,985
- Reactions
- 2
- Joined
- 31 January 2007
- Posts
- 411
- Reactions
- 0
Ooorrrr mate. Now you are scraping the barrel.
I'm not going to try to outdo you on that one. Ah, what the heck, I'll give it a go.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying on the front door step?
Matt.
It's all your fault Sir O.
Can someone save us here, and post a decent joke.
I'm not going to try to outdo you on that one. Ah, what the heck, I'll give it a go.
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying on the front door step?
Matt.
It's all your fault Sir O.
Can someone save us here, and post a decent joke.
- Joined
- 7 April 2008
- Posts
- 384
- Reactions
- 1
What do you call a guy with a paper bag over his head...
Russel
2 fish in a tank
1 says to the other
you drive, I'll man the guns
Russel
2 fish in a tank
1 says to the other
you drive, I'll man the guns
- Joined
- 22 August 2008
- Posts
- 914
- Reactions
- 20
Bwahaharr I said you'd been warned!!!!!
My youngest told me this one on Fathers Day.
What do you call a man with a rabbit shoved up his bum?
Warren.
Wysiwyg
Everyone wants money
- Joined
- 8 August 2006
- Posts
- 8,428
- Reactions
- 284
Some people are alive because it`s illegal to kill them.
I don`t suffer from insanity; i enjoy every minute of it.
You`re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Consciousness; that annoying gap between sleep.
I don`t suffer from insanity; i enjoy every minute of it.
You`re just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Consciousness; that annoying gap between sleep.
- Joined
- 19 November 2007
- Posts
- 551
- Reactions
- 0
Just been reading the last couple of pages, some very good ones!
White, did anyone help you out?
- Joined
- 18 June 2008
- Posts
- 1,071
- Reactions
- 2
A man approached a timid looking woman in a bar and asked if she had ever been f**ked before she replied no so he talked her in to buying some Zinifex shares right before the merger with Oxiana
oh lol thats good!
Similar threads
