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The Gillard Government

Some amusingly facetious advice for politicians from "The Punch":

In an effort to ease the strain on our politicians The Punch presents some answers to commonly asked questions about procedure and voting in the new parliament.

Hi Punch, I’m confused, what party do I belong to?

This is an important question when considering how to vote. You could be a member of the ALP, the Liberals, the Nationals or the Greens. Unless of course you’re Andrew Wilkie and have been a member of almost all of them.

But I don’t belong to any of these parties anymore, what am I now?

Hi Andrew, you’re called an independent now. You will join Rob Oakeshott, Tony Windsor and Bob Katter on what’s called the “cross bench” in political parlance. They, like you, used to belong to a party. It was called the Nationals and is currently on display at the National Museum.

Hold on, if I’m an independent who do I vote for?

This is really tricky and a personal decision. Mostly it depends on how much money Julia Gillard or Tony Abbott offered to pump into the multi-billion dollar Death Star currently being built in your electorate. But we suggest you mix it up, bring in ‘wildcards’ to dictate your decision, like tariffs on bananas and personal vendettas dating back to the days when your band toured with MotorHead, only to have the t-shirt money lost by Warren Truss after one of his wild wagers* on how much Jim Bean he could skull.


Hi I’m Adam Bandt, I’m an MP with the Greens. I’m in a party but I’m all alone, should I hang out with the other parties, or will they try and get me to vote for them?

Nice suit Adam.

Thanks

Actually nice glasses too.

Thanks again.

What are you earning as a Green MP to put together a hip outfit like that?

We at the Greens believe that the price of a hip suit and thick rimmed glasses is between the individual and the state which pays him to wear it. Although I refuse to wear anything made in Singapore because of the brutal use of the death penalty in that country.

What about China?

The quality and competitive prices of Chinese tailors outweighs their brutal use of the death penalty.

Makes sense. Look Adam you can hang out with the major parties all you want, just don’t expect the Liberals to take anything you say seriously because they know deep down you’d like to have them all shipped off to Singapore. Don’t worry the feeling is mutual. And if Cheryl Kernot has taught us anything, it’s that prominent minor party MPs shouldn’t hang out too much with the Foreign Minister. So if Kevin Rudd invites you to “burn the midnight oil” on APEC preparations, politely decline.

Hi my name is Peter Garrett, what am I doing here?

We don’t know Peter. Look busy.

Okay smart guy my name is Scott Morrison and I’ve got a question for you. How are you going to stop the boats?

What? Sorry Scott I didn’t mention boats.

Yes you did, just then, how you going to stop them?

I dunno.

Ha! no answers. Typical. How would you like a detention centre on your website?

Not sure. Can they write opinion pieces?

Hi my name is Peter Slipper. I became deputy-speaker contrary to the wishes of my leader Tony Abbott. Will I always have to vote for the Liberals now?

Peter there’s an old Sicilian proverb which roughly translates as: if you dare cross the floor Tony Abbott will track you down and break you in two with his bare hands.

Thanks Punch. Those wise but cryptic Sicilians aye
 
With no excuse now for GFC, labor's spending sprees have continued to rise during last quarter.

Full article: Spending drives record deficit

THE budget deficit hit a record $63.3 billion in the year to September as a result of soaring government spending and stagnant revenue....


...CommSec chief economist Craig James says government spending in the first three months of the financial year was $9.6bn higher than it was in the same period last year, while revenue was $1.9bn lower...

Below is a chart from the same article in the Australian:
 

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With no excuse now for GFC, labor's spending sprees have continued to rise during last quarter.

Full article: Spending drives record deficit



Below is a chart from the same article in the Australian:

This Gillard Labor Government have no idea how to manage the economy. You don't spend more than you receive except of course if you keep on borrowing $1million a day. But sooner or later it has to be paid back. By whom? You and me I guess.
 
This was on the news this morning and, on the surface, seems quite bizarre given our own rising debt levels. :eek:
What am I missing? How do labor supporters feel about this?
Are you guys happy with the way the Gillard government is spending?


Full article: Australia will spend $500m to upgrade Indonesian schools

Australia will spend $500 million building 2000 new schools in Indonesia in an effort to improve the prospects of Indonesia's youth and moderate the influence of the country's religious schools

Gillard_Yudhoyono-420x0.jpg

The above photo from the SMH article shows Julia Gillard with Dr Yudhoyono.
She appears very carefree about dishing out taxpayers funds and yet he has a quizzical and somewhat disparaging look on his face.
 
Far cheaper to educate moderates than it is to police radicals.

Mofra, I understand that you are saying that this is supposed to help with our security. Sadly, it takes only a dedicated few to wipe out or maim thousands of people. IMO, giving education to some won't deal with the extremists who are not likely to attend these more moderate types of schools in the first place.

Even here in Australia, Muslims prefer to send their kids to their own schools. So why they would want it any different in their own countries?

It sounds a bit like the carbon tax issue where a good deal of financial pain for Aussie citizens would make the smallest difference to the problem (if it exists). It seems an extraordinary expense to Australia for very little apparent purpose.

I take it you are OK with our tax dollars being spent this way?
 
Far cheaper to educate moderates than it is to police radicals.

I agree, but can we ensure that the money goes to where we want it. Indonesia, from what I have read, is one of the most corrupt societies in the world. Will the money just get wasted on cronies or replace funds that would have been allocated to schooling in any case, but now gets directed elsewhere, as we have effectively footed part of that cost.
 
Sails, Mofra is probably right. It's likely money well spent.

President Yudhoyono won't be saying no, of course, and maybe regards it as some 'persuasion' toward securing his co-operation on the so called regional processing centre, something I doubt we will ever see.

This article by Greg Sheridan in today's "The Australian", sums up Ms Gillard's rather undistinguished Asian sojourn.

http://www.theaustralian.com.au/new...in-tour-de-farce/story-e6frg6zo-1225946946825

Extract:
Has any new prime minister ever had an initial Southeast Asian tour quite so forlorn as this?
 
This was on the news this morning and, on the surface, seems quite bizarre given our own rising debt levels. :eek:
What am I missing? How do labor supporters feel about this?
Are you guys happy with the way the Gillard government is spending?


Full article: Australia will spend $500m to upgrade Indonesian schools



View attachment 39488

The above photo from the SMH article shows Julia Gillard with Dr Yudhoyono.
She appears very carefree about dishing out taxpayers funds and yet he has a quizzical and somewhat disparaging look on his face.

So where does the money come from? Is she going to increase her borrowings to $200 million per day. OMG.
 
So where does the money come from? Is she going to increase her borrowings to $200 million per day. OMG.

Where does any of the money come from??? :D

But the three big E's education, education and education is the only real solution to the planet's problems. Good one j u l i y a.

Finally, someone in parliament is using their brains.
 
I agree, but can we ensure that the money goes to where we want it. Indonesia, from what I have read, is one of the most corrupt societies in the world. Will the money just get wasted on cronies or replace funds that would have been allocated to schooling in any case, but now gets directed elsewhere, as we have effectively footed part of that cost.

I think our money is given to them as a sweetener rather than with any expectation that the money will be used for any useful purpose. They will have watched our BER program with interest and act accordingly.

Hopefully the money will line the pockets of friendly Indonesians and not terrorists.
 
The above photo from the SMH article shows Julia Gillard with Dr Yudhoyono.
She appears very carefree about dishing out taxpayers funds and yet he has a quizzical and somewhat disparaging look on his face.

Rubbish, looks like he tried the hard word and she is not that interested, and on that he is amazed.
 
So Gillard has returned from her first foray as PM into S.E. Asia. And after her duckwalking across the world stage closely followed by her hairdresser what has this frumpy bogan achieved? When asked, what she was doing all she could reiterate was "to further share information and continue the dialogue."

She kept muttering about some meaningless proposal for off-shore processing asylum seekers without having a clue as to how this would stop the arrivals. Her "girlish charms" failed to impress the The Malayan or Indonesian leaders, nor did her logic. A singular stupidity was her attempt to lecture other states on human rights.

Her achievements? :dunno:
 
Wadayamean?

There was no knock back. He got 500 mil.

Yeh, but he definitely does not believe it.

Anyway grass is a lot cheaper over there, so maybe we can have high school student exchange and take the burden off the working parents a bit, what with interest rates goinupanall.
 
Where does any of the money come from??? :D

But the three big E's education, education and education is the only real solution to the planet's problems. Good one j u l i y a.

Finally, someone in parliament is using their brains.

Yeah, so long as it's in Aus. It a pity somebody didn't educate Jooliar. All she knows is brain washed SPIN,SPIN,SPIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Rubbish, looks like he tried the hard word and she is not that interested, and on that he is amazed.

EXPLOD, CAN YOU BE A BIT MORE EXPLICIT. I think she is trying to sweeten old Bang Bang up to get her out of trouble with the boat people.
I don't think she would put the hard word with Timmy beside her.
 
Mofra, I understand that you are saying that this is supposed to help with our security. Sadly, it takes only a dedicated few to wipe out or maim thousands of people. IMO, giving education to some won't deal with the extremists who are not likely to attend these more moderate types of schools in the first place.

Even here in Australia, Muslims prefer to send their kids to their own schools. So why they would want it any different in their own countries?
Sails, you can't simply paint all muslims with the same brush as it appears in the second paragraph. If a condition of funding is that both males & females are given the same curriculum (as I understand they are) and that moderate Islam is to be taught, than it can only be a positive in avoiding a vacuum in essential services - the exact vacuum that the Taliban are exploiting amongst the Pushtun peoples in Pakistan & Afganistan by providing medical care and education to win over the population.

It also should be considered that Indonesia is an extremely crowded archipeligo, and that is combined with a birthrate that far exceeds Australia's. The most striking indicator of birthrate in developing countries is the level of female education in relation to the male population. Boosting education opportunities for the population as a whole is likely to have such follow on effects.

In addition, Australia's proportionate spend of foreign aid is currently below the UN recommended level (I would need to confirm). I would not be surprised if the monies allocated to Indonesia are designated as Foreign Aid in a ploy to increase the chances of a seat at the UN Security council by upping a spending closer to the required level.

I'd much rather $500m be spent on benefitting ties with a close neighbour than, say, handing money to the inept NSW Gov to allocate to schools or on pink batts.
 
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