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- 23 September 2007
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Classic
Korrupt. If you think that is classic you can't have much imagination. Anyone that swears like that only shows that they haven't had a good enough education to express themselves properly. Any fool can swear and most do.
:iagree:Classic
Korrupt. If you think that is classic you can't have much imagination. Anyone that swears like that only shows that they haven't had a good enough education to express themselves properly. Any fool can swear and most do.
"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain -- and most fools do."
Dale Carnegie
Constructive criticism never hurts regardless of whether Dale Carnegie says it does or does not win friends and influence people. I doubt if he would have said to swear will win friends and influence people.
Seamus walks into a pub. The bartender asks him, “What’ll you have?”The man says, “Give me three pints of Guinness please.”
So the bartender brings him three pints and the man proceeds to alternately sip one, then the other, then the third until they’re gone. He then orders three more.
The bartender says, “Sir, you don’t have to order three at a time. I can keep an eye on it and when you get low I’ll bring you a fresh cold one.”
The man says, “You don’t understand. I have two brothers, Shaun back in Ireland, and Paddy in the States. We made a vow to each other that every Saturday night we’d still drink together. So right now, my brothers have three Guinness Stouts too, and we’re drinking together.”
The bartender thought that was a wonderful tradition. Every week Seamus came in and ordered three beers.
Then one week he came in and ordered only two. He drank them and then ordered two more. The bartender finally gets up the courage to say to him, “Ahhh Seamus - what terrible news, I’m so sorry that one of your brothers died.”
Seamus says, “Oh, me brothers are fine — I just quit drinking.”
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.
"Why of course," comes the reply.
The first man then asks: "Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland."
"Of Course," replies the second man. Curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin."
"Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the second man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is unbelievable!" the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!"
About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again."
lol - sounds like blackmail to meWife (really furious now): "Did my husband say that as well?"
Maria: "No Senora, the gardener did."
An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?" "Just water," says the priest. The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?" The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
My friend Tom told me that if he insists on going fishing each weekend his wife will leave him.
God he'll miss that woman.
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