wayneL
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These are pure genius.
I guess it remains to be seen whether they translate into votes, but spectacularly funny and so on the mark hahaha!
Political Satire
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These are pure genius.
I guess it remains to be seen whether they translate into votes, but spectacularly funny and so on the mark hahaha!
wayneL
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This made me LOL
wayneL
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Secret recording of Herr Dan, addressing Here Klaus.
wayneL
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Best.
One.
Yet.
Hahahaha
One.
Yet.
Hahahaha
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Americans Who Cowered Under Government Oppression For 2 Years Urge Ukrainians To Die For Freedom
U.S.—Across the country, millions of Americans who cowered under oppressive government mandates for two years are standing in solidarity with the Ukrainian people, urging them to give their lives for their freedom.
babylonbee.com
Knobby22
Mmmmmm 2nd breakfast
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I don't understand why so many people hate politics. The end is really funny.
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Why is this documentary in the 'satire' thread?
wayneL
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It's not really satire as such, but #sorrynotsorry
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Hillsong finally becomes mainstream religion, after leader charged with concealing sex crimes
After years of being cast aside as a fringe movement, Hillsong Church can finally be considered a conventional, mainstream religion, after its founder Brian Houston was charged with allegedly concealing information about child sexual abuse.
Mr Houston said they had been fighting for acceptance within the broader Church system for years.
“Sure, we follow all of the core principles of Christianity, like accruing property and not paying taxes. But concealing sex crimes really does make up the Holy Trinity.
“Even having a Prime Minister as part of our flock didn’t garner us the respect of one of the big boys. We were increasingly worried we’d become a joke, or be forced to blackmail weird lonely celebrities, like Scientology. We just weren’t ready to do that just yet.
www.theshovel.com.au
After years of being cast aside as a fringe movement, Hillsong Church can finally be considered a conventional, mainstream religion, after its founder Brian Houston was charged with allegedly concealing information about child sexual abuse.
Mr Houston said they had been fighting for acceptance within the broader Church system for years.
“Sure, we follow all of the core principles of Christianity, like accruing property and not paying taxes. But concealing sex crimes really does make up the Holy Trinity.
“Even having a Prime Minister as part of our flock didn’t garner us the respect of one of the big boys. We were increasingly worried we’d become a joke, or be forced to blackmail weird lonely celebrities, like Scientology. We just weren’t ready to do that just yet.
Hillsong finally becomes mainstream religion, after leader charged with concealing sex crimes — The Shovel
"Finally, we'll no longer be treated as a fringe movement"
www.theshovel.com.au
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Latest news on the question of the Prime Ministers relationship with the head of Hillsong Church.
“I’ve never even heard of Brian Houston,” Morrison says
Following reports that Hillsong leader Brian Houston has been stood down from his role for ‘acting inappropriately’ with women, Prime Minister Scott Morrison says he’s never even heard of the guy.
“Sorry, Brian who?” Morrison said when quizzed on his relationship with the controversial religious leader today. “Nup, sorry, not ringing any bells. Wouldn’t know the guy if he was standing next to me on a stage at Qudos Bank Arena in front of 30,000 people at a Hillsong Conference in 2019, I’m afraid”.
Pushed further to recall detail of the decades-long friendship between the two men, Mr Morrison said he was coming up blank. “I mean, apart from referring to him in my maiden parliamentary speech, inviting him to travel with me to meet the President at the White House, and regularly calling him for ‘spiritual guidance’ whenever I’ve forgotten to respond to an epidemic or natural disaster, I can honestly say I’ve never heard of the guy.
“I mean, I’ve heard of the city in Texas obviously. Is that what you mean? No? Ok, I’ll have to ask Jenny then. Maybe she’s stood on stage with him at Sydney’s largest football stadium, saying a prayer for Australia”.
Morrison later responded to pressure to reveal further detail, saying he would set up an inquiry to determine whether he knows Brian Houston or not.
“I’ve never even heard of Brian Houston,” Morrison says
Following reports that Hillsong leader Brian Houston has been stood down from his role for ‘acting inappropriately’ with women, Prime Minister Scott Morrison says he’s never even heard of the guy.
“Sorry, Brian who?” Morrison said when quizzed on his relationship with the controversial religious leader today. “Nup, sorry, not ringing any bells. Wouldn’t know the guy if he was standing next to me on a stage at Qudos Bank Arena in front of 30,000 people at a Hillsong Conference in 2019, I’m afraid”.
Pushed further to recall detail of the decades-long friendship between the two men, Mr Morrison said he was coming up blank. “I mean, apart from referring to him in my maiden parliamentary speech, inviting him to travel with me to meet the President at the White House, and regularly calling him for ‘spiritual guidance’ whenever I’ve forgotten to respond to an epidemic or natural disaster, I can honestly say I’ve never heard of the guy.
“I mean, I’ve heard of the city in Texas obviously. Is that what you mean? No? Ok, I’ll have to ask Jenny then. Maybe she’s stood on stage with him at Sydney’s largest football stadium, saying a prayer for Australia”.
Morrison later responded to pressure to reveal further detail, saying he would set up an inquiry to determine whether he knows Brian Houston or not.
StockyGuy
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Shall be interesting to see if Hillsong, as a brand, dwindles away to (almost) nothing now.
wayneL
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I may be totally wrong, have not been really following Scotty's religious predilections; but doesn't he belong to some other pentecostal church, not Hillsong?
StockyGuy
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Yeah, he belongs to another Assemblies of God church, called Horizon Church.
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Morrison is attempting to stem and deflect the stories from the Liberal Party highlighting exactly what type of leader he is.
Check out this effort.
Morrison does emergency photo op in Lebanese kebab shop to prove he’s not racist
Chanting “I can’t be racist if I eat kebabs,” a frantic Scott Morrison has set up a last-minute photo shoot showing him preparing a lamb kebab at a Lebanese restaurant in Western Sydney.
“I love kebabs! They’re my favourite food!” Morrison posted on Instagram, forgetting that he had posted just a week ago that his favourite food was Indian curry.
“And my favourite type of kebab is a Lebanese kebab. I have lots of Lebanese friends,” the caption continued.
Morrison has been accused by several people within the Liberal Party of using racist remarks during a preselection battle with Lebanese opponent Michael Towke in 2007. But the PM hoped to quash those claims by dressing up as a kebab shop owner and posting about in on social media.
“Lebanon is a country in the Middle East. The capital of Lebanon is Beirut. Baba ganoush,” the Instagram caption continued, before randomly listing culturally relevant Lebanese words.
It was later revealed the photo shoot actually took place in a Turkish kebab shop.
www.theshovel.com.au
Check out this effort.
Morrison does emergency photo op in Lebanese kebab shop to prove he’s not racist
Chanting “I can’t be racist if I eat kebabs,” a frantic Scott Morrison has set up a last-minute photo shoot showing him preparing a lamb kebab at a Lebanese restaurant in Western Sydney.
“I love kebabs! They’re my favourite food!” Morrison posted on Instagram, forgetting that he had posted just a week ago that his favourite food was Indian curry.
“And my favourite type of kebab is a Lebanese kebab. I have lots of Lebanese friends,” the caption continued.
Morrison has been accused by several people within the Liberal Party of using racist remarks during a preselection battle with Lebanese opponent Michael Towke in 2007. But the PM hoped to quash those claims by dressing up as a kebab shop owner and posting about in on social media.
“Lebanon is a country in the Middle East. The capital of Lebanon is Beirut. Baba ganoush,” the Instagram caption continued, before randomly listing culturally relevant Lebanese words.
It was later revealed the photo shoot actually took place in a Turkish kebab shop.
Morrison does emergency photo op in Lebanese kebab shop to prove he’s not racist
“I love kebabs! They’re my favourite food!”
www.theshovel.com.au
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When "satire" says it all better than any "straight"story
Government revealed as elaborate April Fool’s Day prank
Australia’s Federal government is a joke, it has been revealed.
“I can’t believe you guys fell for it actually,” Josh Frydenberg said on behalf of the government, describing what is thought to be the longest set up ever for a joke.
“We’ve been giving so many hints along the way. Bringing pieces of coal into Parliament, promising to build carparks in marginal electorates but then not actually building them, nipping off on holiday when the country is in crisis. I thought we were being too obvious to be honest.
“But then over the past few weeks we decided to dial it up even further … to give people one last chance to figure it out. We had people calling the PM a psycho. Concetta Fierravanti-Wells literally stood up and said – in Parliament – that the Prime Minister was unfit to be Prime Minister, and no-one twigged. It was right there in her speech!”
He said there have been clues stretching back years. “I mean really – a government that covers up an alleged rape, backgrounds against the victim’s partner, calls the victim a lying cow, sends the minister in question on paid leave and then claims to be listening to women. I mean it’s simply not plausible that a government would do that,” he said.
“And that’s just that start of it. We totally fxcked up the vaccination roll-out during the biggest pandemic in 100 years, when that was literally the only task we had. And then 12 months later we fxcked up the roll out of rapid antigen tests. You can’t make that sort of shxt up … actually, turns out you can”.
The Treasurer said the prank had been years in the making. “Oh yeah, from day 1 we were setting this up. Do you remember a few years back when I misplaced $60 billion? Billion, not million. That’s more than the annual GDP of a lot of countries. I personally thought it was too ridiculous, but the guys said give it a go and see what happens. And everyone just went along with it”.
Mr Frydenberg said he thought sending people away on empathy training courses in 2021 would be the straw the broke the camel’s back.
“I thought we were going to give the game away to be honest. It was too much. I even said to the guys, ‘Let’s just hold off on this one, it’s too ridiculous, we’ll get found out.
“But they proved me wrong, because they went ahead with it anyway. Let’s be clear here, empathy courses aren’t even a thing. It’s just something we made up! And then, after all of that – and this is where I thought the whole thing was going to fall over – Morrison comes out and says, ‘I’m listening to women!’ For real! I’m crying!
“But everyone fell for it and we’re still in government, so I guess we’ll just keep going”.
www.theshovel.com.au
Government revealed as elaborate April Fool’s Day prank
Australia’s Federal government is a joke, it has been revealed.
“I can’t believe you guys fell for it actually,” Josh Frydenberg said on behalf of the government, describing what is thought to be the longest set up ever for a joke.
“We’ve been giving so many hints along the way. Bringing pieces of coal into Parliament, promising to build carparks in marginal electorates but then not actually building them, nipping off on holiday when the country is in crisis. I thought we were being too obvious to be honest.
“But then over the past few weeks we decided to dial it up even further … to give people one last chance to figure it out. We had people calling the PM a psycho. Concetta Fierravanti-Wells literally stood up and said – in Parliament – that the Prime Minister was unfit to be Prime Minister, and no-one twigged. It was right there in her speech!”
He said there have been clues stretching back years. “I mean really – a government that covers up an alleged rape, backgrounds against the victim’s partner, calls the victim a lying cow, sends the minister in question on paid leave and then claims to be listening to women. I mean it’s simply not plausible that a government would do that,” he said.
“And that’s just that start of it. We totally fxcked up the vaccination roll-out during the biggest pandemic in 100 years, when that was literally the only task we had. And then 12 months later we fxcked up the roll out of rapid antigen tests. You can’t make that sort of shxt up … actually, turns out you can”.
The Treasurer said the prank had been years in the making. “Oh yeah, from day 1 we were setting this up. Do you remember a few years back when I misplaced $60 billion? Billion, not million. That’s more than the annual GDP of a lot of countries. I personally thought it was too ridiculous, but the guys said give it a go and see what happens. And everyone just went along with it”.
Mr Frydenberg said he thought sending people away on empathy training courses in 2021 would be the straw the broke the camel’s back.
“I thought we were going to give the game away to be honest. It was too much. I even said to the guys, ‘Let’s just hold off on this one, it’s too ridiculous, we’ll get found out.
“But they proved me wrong, because they went ahead with it anyway. Let’s be clear here, empathy courses aren’t even a thing. It’s just something we made up! And then, after all of that – and this is where I thought the whole thing was going to fall over – Morrison comes out and says, ‘I’m listening to women!’ For real! I’m crying!
“But everyone fell for it and we’re still in government, so I guess we’ll just keep going”.
Government revealed as elaborate April Fool’s Day prank
“I can’t believe you guys fell for it"
www.theshovel.com.au
@Joe BlowWhen "satire" says it all better than any "straight"story
Government revealed as elaborate April Fool’s Day prank
View attachment 139991
Australia’s Federal government is a joke, it has been revealed.
“I can’t believe you guys fell for it actually,” Josh Frydenberg said on behalf of the government, describing what is thought to be the longest set up ever for a joke.
“We’ve been giving so many hints along the way. Bringing pieces of coal into Parliament, promising to build carparks in marginal electorates but then not actually building them, nipping off on holiday when the country is in crisis. I thought we were being too obvious to be honest.
“But then over the past few weeks we decided to dial it up even further … to give people one last chance to figure it out. We had people calling the PM a psycho. Concetta Fierravanti-Wells literally stood up and said – in Parliament – that the Prime Minister was unfit to be Prime Minister, and no-one twigged. It was right there in her speech!”
He said there have been clues stretching back years. “I mean really – a government that covers up an alleged rape, backgrounds against the victim’s partner, calls the victim a lying cow, sends the minister in question on paid leave and then claims to be listening to women. I mean it’s simply not plausible that a government would do that,” he said.
“And that’s just that start of it. We totally fxcked up the vaccination roll-out during the biggest pandemic in 100 years, when that was literally the only task we had. And then 12 months later we fxcked up the roll out of rapid antigen tests. You can’t make that sort of shxt up … actually, turns out you can”.
The Treasurer said the prank had been years in the making. “Oh yeah, from day 1 we were setting this up. Do you remember a few years back when I misplaced $60 billion? Billion, not million. That’s more than the annual GDP of a lot of countries. I personally thought it was too ridiculous, but the guys said give it a go and see what happens. And everyone just went along with it”.
Mr Frydenberg said he thought sending people away on empathy training courses in 2021 would be the straw the broke the camel’s back.
“I thought we were going to give the game away to be honest. It was too much. I even said to the guys, ‘Let’s just hold off on this one, it’s too ridiculous, we’ll get found out.
“But they proved me wrong, because they went ahead with it anyway. Let’s be clear here, empathy courses aren’t even a thing. It’s just something we made up! And then, after all of that – and this is where I thought the whole thing was going to fall over – Morrison comes out and says, ‘I’m listening to women!’ For real! I’m crying!
“But everyone fell for it and we’re still in government, so I guess we’ll just keep going”.
Government revealed as elaborate April Fool’s Day prank
“I can’t believe you guys fell for it"
Satire thread.
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Next time I'll just have to rewrite it in my own words won't I ? Frankly there is nothing in that story that couldn't be also written, in a similar way, in a biting analysis of how the ScoMo government has been run.
After all that is the point of good satire - telling the truth with a sting and laugh.
That's why.
The truth is that close to satire that it muddies the waters. People tend to remember the lie though.
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Now this story can't possibly be unture could it ? Perhaps ScoMo has offered Christian Porter the Commisionars role as a carrot to persuade him to stand for the next parliament ?
www.theshovel.com.au
Government agrees to anti-corruption agency: “We’re just looking for a mate to run it”
"Someone who knows corruption inside out"
www.theshovel.com.au
