Australian (ASX) Stock Market Forum

ASF Poetry Thread

(This is actually a true story - well , as told to me by a bloke in a pub - allegedly back in the early days of settling the NW of WA, there was a bloke and his dog lost in the desert for a while - and they survived by him cutting off the dog's tail, eating the flesh, and feeding the dog the bones ;))

BUTCH THE STUB TAILED CATTLEDOG.

It was an ancient stockman Tom, who was stopped by one in three,
A tourist bus from the land of Pom, that was parked by a desert pea,
He climbed down from his dust covered horse, let him graze in a roadside ditch,
And there he gave this wild discourse, of the tale of his old dog Butch.

“You ask why Butch has a supershort tail?, it’s a story long but true,
If you’d care to pass me a nut-brown ale, I’ll share that tale with you”,
The dog sat near as he drank his beer, he’d heard this yarn before,
T’was a yarn he kinda liked to hear, and he rested his head on his paw.

“We were out in the bush old Butch and I, it was super hot that summer,
And the horse dropped dead and the well was dry, and I said to Butch ‘what a bummer’”
Long since out of grog, and a week had past, since food has passed their lips,
And he feared that the dog had panted his last, in the shadow of his boney hips.

“So wadda we do, old mate so true, old Butch old faithful hound?
Then I saw that tail- THAT’s what I must do! - and I chopped !!! – what a horrible sound. -
YELP –
Butch scampered this way, that way and back, and circled himself till he’s dizzy,
… and I chewed on the fleshy parts for a snack, and the bones kept old Butch’s jaws busy.

“I said to Butch ‘Sorry mate for the fright, but the feed has helped to fill ya’
Even Butch had enjoyed that interesting bite – like ‘Y’know , this tastes familiar(?)’
And as luck would have it, that very night the rain came down, we were saved,
And we found this box of Turkish Delight, and the chopper came past, and we waved.

“So that’s why old Butch has a shortened rump, and he never leaves my side
And it’s why he wags what’s left of the stump, when I jump on the horse for a ride,
Though I have to admit, when my hunter’s knife blade is unsheathed he’s a bit downbeat,
Then he sits down firm on the scar I made, when we shared that tail for a treat. :eek:
 
THE PRODIGAL QUARTER-ADOPTED SON

I once drank only chalice wine
If I didn't then I copped it
I then drank beer from a heathen's stein
if I saw a quart then I popped it.
Now ? - if JC's the son then I'm in between
like I'm sorta - "quarter adopted"
but,
I remember ONE message my eyes have seen
from the many helicoptered.

I can still detect truth in my step-brother's eyes
(though I don't bang the drum in his choir)
when he said to forgive brings the greatest highs
and will raise life on earth even higher,
I compare other lessons that I may have learnt
to the healing of forgiveness's fire
It's a great fire that, cos you don't get burnt
Well - unless you're calling Jesus a liar. :cool:
 
http://www.marsupialsociety.org/marsupial_poetry_new.htm

An amusing poem about the wombat which, as we know, has the unfortunate trait of creating square droppings (scats)
THE WOMBAT, B. Tate, 1982

As you splash along the track
Eyes alert and ears pinned back
You might have seen those queer square turds
And thought, if not expressed in words

The stress of such a defecation
Baffles ones' imagination
But it's not done to entertain us -
The Wombat has an oblong anus.

So if your slumber is disturbed
By cries and screams, don't be perturbed.
Eyes closed, teeth clenched and racked with pain
A Wombat's gone and crapped again!!

B. Tate, 1982. The Bastard from the Bush, Obscene Songs
and Ballads of Australian Origin. Q/Land: Rams Skull Press.
 
Snif Snif!!

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

and sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveller, long I stood

and looked down one as far as I could

to where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

and having perhaps the better claim

because it was grassy and wanted wear;

though as for that, the passing there

had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

in leaves no feet had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I --

I took the one less travelled by,

and that has made all the difference


Robert Frost
 
Ah Flo I love you so,
especially in your nightie.
When the moonlight flits,
across your t1ts,
Jesus Christ almighty.


Spike Milligan.."Small Dreams of a Scorpion".
 
Thought I would share with you a poem my little 11 year old niece wrote recently. She often just takes a pen to paper and within minutes turns out a beautiful, sometimes very moving poem...not sure where she gets it from...another mystery in life.


Storms
Emotional storms
Churning
Erupting
Confusing
Your stomach lurches
Your head spins
Starting to sweat
You faint.

Sandstorms
Twisting
Flicking and flinging
Spiralling into the sun
Breaking the forever silence
That looms over the unbroken golden landscape
Slowing down
All that is left in the sand once again.

Thunderstorms
Rain crashes
On my window
Thunder roars
Rumbles across the sea of clouds
Blanketing the earth in its mist
Lightning flashes
Lighting the darkness of the endless night.
 
“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars.”

JK
 
worthy of consideration when inducting newbies to a construction site or factory etc...
I CHOSE TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY.
(Anonymous)

It wasn’t that I didn’t care, I had the time and I was there,
But I didn’t want to seem a fool, or argue over a safety rule,
I knew he’d done the job before; if I called it wrong he might get sore,
The chances didn’t seem that bad, I’ve done the same, he knew I had.

So I shook my head and walked on by, he knew the risks as well as I
He took the chance, I closed an eye, and with that act I let him die,
Now every time I see his wife, I will know I should have saved his life.
That guilt is something I must bear, but it isn’t something you need share.

If you see a risk that others take, that puts their health or life at stake
The question asked or thing you say could help them live another day,
If you see a risk and walk away then hope you never have to say
“I could have saved a life that day, but I chose to look the other way” :(
 
Fits into a lot more things in life 2020. I've walked away a lot of times and regret it now, as there's no going back - good luck noi
thanx noi (and gg)
you're right - I suppose it would also be appropriate to stick a copy (small font) on the wall beside the breathtester machine in the local pub :eek:
 
We've all received emails from our friends, warning of us life's hazards.
I thought back to all the warnings I've been sent over the years, and thought I'd have a go at incorporating them in a light-hearted poem.


Paranoia (by Bunyip)

Greetings to my cyber friends
I wish you all good cheer
And thank you for the messages
You’ve sent to me this year
But all your well-meant warnings
Of risks I should avoid
Have well and truly screwed me up
And left me paranoid

I now wear gloves to open doors
A caution I think wise
In case I catch a deadly germ
That causes my demise

The little snacks I once enjoyed
No longer can I savour
They're full of cancer-causing fats
That give them all their flavour

A slice of lemon peel in drinks
Is risky now I feel
I'm worried that bacteria
Pollute the lemon peel

I’m terrified of carcinogens
I won’t use body sprays
My odour rivals any skunk
On hot and humid days

To touch a woman's purse I feel
Could lead me to my doom
She may have placed it on the floor
In some unwashed bathroom

I’ve warned my wife she cannot talk
To friendly car park strangers
They'll drug her with some perfume
And put her life in danger

My mobile I don't answer
In case the call's a con
That slugs me with a massive bill
For phone calls to Saigon

I hear that drivers pick their nose
Forgive me if I feel
I cannot shake your hand if you
Have been behind the wheel

The cockroach poo in envelope glue
I find most unappealing
Now I use a dampened sponge
When envelopes need sealing

Remote controls in hotel rooms
They cause me consternation
I don’t know who was doing what
While scanning adult stations

And hotel bedspreads fill me too
With thoughts of dread and gloom
To think what happened on them
Before I booked the room

My once abundant savings
Have suffered steep decline
I gave them to that dying girl
Whose died a thousand times

But never mind - I’ll soon receive
The sum of 15 grand
From William Gates of Microsoft
A truly generous man
It’s just his way of saying thanks
As only Billy can
For my participation in
His special email program

You've told me Coke lifts stubborn stains
From in the toilet bowl
I used to drink it every day
I liked it icy cold
Now I never touch it
I fear that it may cause
My stomach lining to decay
And break out into sores

I shun all public toilets
They chill me to my feet
Since learning of the spiders
That lurk beneath their seats
They’re waiting to attack me from
The dank and dark interior
And sink their deadly fangs into
My delicate posterior

I won’t fuel up my car alone
I take a friend along
To watch my vehicle closely
I know I could be wrong
And yet I feel there’s every chance
A psychopath or two
Could quietly sneak into my car
And hide himself from view

My garden is neglected now
Because of your advice
That deadly Queensland Funnelwebs
Could easily end my life
They’re lurking under every bush
And fern and flower and tree
Waiting for their chance to strike
And make an end of me

The coin returns on public phones
Can harbour bad surprises
A needle prick could be the start
Of some unpleasant crisis
I never put my hand in them
I treat them like the plague
Better to be careful
Than risk contracting AIDS

I used to be a hardy chap
Of iron constitution
Now I fear I’m headed for
A mental institution

You’ve told me not to worry
To calm my grave concerns
You’ve pointed out that scores of angels
Guide my every turn
But still I’m fearful every day
That I may yet succumb
To some insidious bug or germ
Or needle, knife or gun

My friends – I ask a favour
If ever you should hear
Of dreadful risks to people who
Partake of sex or beer
Keep the info to yourselves
I ask that you don’t tell
I’d hate to see my last two pleasures
Disappear as well !
 
Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on, and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

-- William Shakespeare
 
Beautiful poem, Bunyip :D

So beautiful, I had to email it to scores of friends - and received one Greeting back, which runs along similar lines, just not as neatly ripper-rhymed as yours.

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me “forwards” over the past 12 months.


Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat s**t in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains and may eat my guts out as well.

I no longer use Glad wrap in the microwave, because it causes cancer.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones, because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants, even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls, because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.


I no longer receive packages from, nor send packages by UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC, because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul, because at last count, I have 363,214 angels looking out for me in addition to all of you dear friends.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an e-mail to seven hundred of my friends and make a wish within five seconds.

I no longer have any pocket change, because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time)...

I no longer have any money saved at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favour!

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 7 minutes, a large flock of pigeons with a wicked case of diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00 PM (WST.) this afternoon and s*** all over you. I know this will occur, because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's third cousin's beautician.
 
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