Re: To breed, or not to breed
Do you guys still get time to do the stuff you did before you had kids, like sleep in, spend cash on frioulous things, hang out, go to the footy with mates, play stupidly loud music and have parties, watch sport or whatever it is that people do? The only couple in my close circle of friends (known for 10+ years) who have children have definitely dropped off the social radar in recent times. No more dive trips and playing in rock bands or going overseas to the snow. Seems like a sudden and dramatic change. Seems a shame to lose that part of your life (from an outsider looking in of course)
Sleep in - not a chance now. Maybe when they are all over 5 years old. Seriously, you do not want a hangover with kids jumping all over you. And if you have a hangover, there is no alternative.
Spend cash on frivolous things - possibly, depends on financial circumstances. Often with kids, you go from two incomes to one income and have other expenses like nappies, more food, pre-school fees, more clothes, bigger car, bigger house.
No more dive trips - not surprising as under 5's can not scuba dive and DOCS will soon get involved if you leave them locked up in the car park. Assuming they survive the heat.
No more overseas ski trips. We used to ski regularly including overseas (does NZ count - more like a seventh state
) but have not been since having first child. There are two ways of traveling - well or with children. Children hate planes in the early years, ears hurt, can't sleep so they cry a lot which means everyone else can't sleep. Long haul is very difficult but we have grandparents overseas thus we do the trip occasionally. As for diving, babies can not ski. Our eldest one could ski now, but probably means a father daughter trip so my wife could look after the younger ones who can not ski. Again, car park is an option. Assuming they survive the cold.
Rock bands would still work - would be a nice quiet break from the kids.
So yes, you lose ability to do some things, albeit temporary. Once kids are older, I can beat them at skiing downhill (for a while) and take them diving. But for losing ability to do some things, you also gain some great new experiences. And having children is one of life's great experiences.
Spot on! It's for people who have done everything they want to do and now are resigned to living the rest of their life through someone else (actually that sounds a bit harsh - and i'm sure parents can still have a life albeit moderated). Personally, i'm approaching that time, but other, perhaps more interesting people, want to fit more into their lives.
On another note, don't you think people should pass a test before they can have kids? Our world is suffering from over-population!
More interesting people" Perhaps people who are emotionally incapable of sharing time and love with someone else i.e. children. It is not about living through someone else, but about sharing your life with your children watching them grow up etc. You change one set of experiences for another newer more challenging, interesting set.
Like Gooner has put it... there are many experiences that are unique to having your own children. I am definitely looking forward to facing those experiences, and willing to do so at the expense of missing out on dive trips, going to footy with mates etc.
Exactly,life is a journey. And having children is one of life's great experiences. And seriously, you get fed up of going to nightclubs pretty soon after hitting 25.
Oh and at the end of the day, someone needs to wipe the drool off your face when you are old and decrepit. If no one had children, there would be no one to look after you in old age.