Thought for the day

I can’t put things off until an old age I probably won’t have. Accepting that has brought me joy​

Dining across the divide: ‘I thought I was going to meet an awful Tory – but it was wonderful, we swapped numbers’​

Spare me this modern ritual of minority obeisance
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Senior Wurundjeri elder Aunty Joy Murphy Wandin of the Kulin Nation delivers a Welcome to Country. Picture: Getty Images.

It has been a difficult week, I am sorry to say. Actually, it has been an horrendous one, because never have I felt so disrespected. Only now can I bring myself to write about my treatment at the hands of Growth Faculty, the organisers responsible for hosting former US president Barack Obama at Melbourne’s John Cain arena last week.

I had assumed I would be foremost among the welcoming committee. Not only do Obama and I share Irish ancestry: we are practically related. His forebears hail from Offaly and mine Kildare, the counties being directly adjacent. What is more, I am a leader of the Irish-Australian community, although admittedly a self-appointed one. Protocol required that I be there in an official capacity to welcome him on behalf of my people, provided of course I receive a commercial-in-confidence payment for bestowing this honour. But I received not so much as a phone call, let alone an invitation.

Naturally, I empathise with senior Wurundjeri elder Aunty Joy Murphy Wandin AO. Unlike me, she was invited to deliver the so-called Welcome to Country (WTC) ceremony at Obama’s reception.

However, this was withdrawn, the organisers telling Murphy she was “too difficult” after she informed them she wanted to bring a support person. As SBS reported, she “also deemed it appropriate to present Obama with a gift as per cultural practice”.

Wurundjeri elder Aunty Joy Murphy Wandin performed a Welcome to Country for Barack Obama. Picture: Julian Andrews.

Murphy is 78, but her lungs are so robust that soon every media outlet in the country became aware of this gross impertinence. “I have never been treated or spoken to in this way in the past,” she said in a statement. “I do not want this to be a reflection on president Obama. I am a leader of the Wurundjeri Nation. I asked to be treated as an equal.”

Indeed, Aunty. It appears the organisers were of the mistaken belief this event was all about Obama.

According to Donald Betts, the chief executive officer of Wurundjeri Woi-wurrung Cultural Heritage Aboriginal Corporation, it was a case of the organisers not understanding “cultural heritage”.

“I think there’s a problem – a major problem – when we have to continue to revisit these issues,” explained Betts, a Kansas native and former Democrat state senator, in his folksy midwestern twang.

To which many Australians would say “You’re absolutely right”.

Not surprisingly, organisers folded the next day. “Due to security requirements, the organisation was unable to accommodate last-minute changes to the agreed upon ceremony,” Growth Faculty explained in a statement. Face was restored, and Murphy was told she could perform a WTC for Obama at a business lunch in Melbourne the following day. “I have accepted their apology and will receive president Obama on behalf of my people,” she said, adding that she was still saddened “to think that I had to go through the events of yesterday”.

Terribly saddening I know, but her lament was a little too pat. Only days before this blew up, the National Indigenous Times reported that Betts had called for Obama to acknowledge the Wurundjeri upon visiting the city, saying he wanted him to “set a standard when foreign dignitaries visit Melbourne”.

“It sends a really strong message to the rest of the world that the culture and rights of First Nations communities matter,” he said. And as later events demonstrated, it also sends a really strong message to organisers what will happen should you not accede to Wurundjeri wokery.

According to the corporation, the WTC protocols are “traditional law and practice that have been used … for millennia.” But a quick perusal of its website reveals these traditional customs are remarkably adaptive to Western practices.

Ernie Dingo and Richard Walley conducted a WTC ceremony for Polynesian performers at a Perth fringe festival in 1976.

You want the standard welcome? That will be $660 plus GST. Not a bad little earner, given it takes only “5-15 minutes to complete”. For $1000 they will throw in a smoking ceremony. As for the performance, the corporation specifies that filming, audio, and photography are not normally permitted, as there is the need to protect “Indigenous Cultural and Intellectual Property”. Worry not though. Requests to film will be considered, although naturally this may require “additional fees”.

And business must be booming. The corporation asks you not contact them to inquire about services once you have booked them – there is an “influx of event bookings”. Presumably for that reason management tells readers it can “no longer offer a not-for-profit discount”. Incidentally those fees I quoted are “indicative only”. Translation: the higher the event profile, the higher the fee.

Despite claims that WTC was an ancient tradition, its modern roots go back no further than 1976, when Indigenous entertainers Ernie Dingo and Richard Walley conducted a ceremony for Polynesian performers at a Perth fringe festival. In 2008, a WTC was performed, for the first time, at the opening of the Commonwealth Parliament. As the Guardian noted in 2016 when it reflected on that occasion: “Not long after, Walley noticed the welcome to country began to spread and took on a life of its own”. Funny that.

But in fairness to those who ‘offer’ these services, it’s not all beer and skittles. As the Sydney Morning Herald reported in December, the National Tertiary Education Union sought claims for “cultural load” in its latest round of bargaining, the rationale being that Indigenous academics should receive compensation for the arduous task of performing these ceremonies.

My solution is a straightforward one. Stop performing them every five minutes and end the rent-seeking practice of making them mandatory. As for the commercial performers, I have no wish to adulterate your ancient ceremony by handing over the white man’s filthy lucre. How about you instead join us for a cup of tea and a biscuit after the performance?

As for the non-Indigenous fans of the so-called Acknowledgement of Country, fill your boots. All I ask is that you wake me when you have finished your lengthy and fulsome recital. If you want to wallow in this modern ritual of minority obeisance, that’s your business.

It is also your right to insist I too must acknowledge I am but a tourist on these lands. I will respond by giving you a little travel advice of my own. And unlike the WTC, I will provide it for free.

THE MOCKER​

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noirua said:

Always check your poo - it could save your life.

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