Thought for the day

[noirua]

You can't have your cake and eat it...
but....
It’s better to have half a cake and eat it and enjoy it, than to watch it go wrotten in the fridge.

Never eat cake, it gets inside you.

 

[2020hindsight]

then again ....
WC Fields :-
"I never drink water, fish f*** in it" lol

 

[2020hindsight]

http://louisville.edu/~kprayb01/WCQuote.html#A6
RELIGION and POLITICS

(NOTE: Fields' view of Christianity is best revealed in his devastating critique of the Bible, which comprises the whole of chapter five of Carlotta Monti's book W.C. Fields & Me.)

"...more people are driven insane through religious hysteria than by drinking alcohol."

"To me, these biblical stories are just so many fish stories, and I'm not specifically referring to Jonah and the whale. I need indisputable proof of anything I'm asked to believe."

"Just looking for loopholes." (Fields, reading the Bible on his deathbed.)

"If I ever found a church that didn't believe in knocking all the other churches, I might consider joining it." (Edgar Bergen, quoting Fields)

"I think of the church often. Not because religion was closing in on me, but because for a long time my ass was sore from that hard, unupholstered pew."

"Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain unless you've used up all the other four-letter words."

"Oh she said/'Heaven bless you'/and placed a mark upon his brow/with a kick she'd learned/before she had been saved." (The story of a "Salvation Army girl" who didn't turn the other cheek, in Fields' ballad in The Fatal Glass of Beer.)

(Fields, on reading the Bible: )
"I admit I scanned it once, searching for some movie plots..." (but found) "only a pack of wild lies."

(Upon hearing a Christmas carol on the radio, Fields shouted: )
"Turn it off! Cease! Give me an ax, a heavy tomahawk! The royal mace of England! I'll smash the thing and its illegitimate fugue!" (Will Fowler, "Sleigh Bells Give Me Double Nausea," Life, Dec. 15, 1972)

"I never vote for anyone. I always vote against." (Quoted in Hollywood Wits)

 

[noirua]

then again ....
WC Fields :-
"I never drink water, fish f*** in it" lol

Maybe that's it, as I always wondered how mermaids were created?

 

[noirua]

If at first you don't succeed, give up.

 

[Wysiwyg]

The hand that points the finger best be attached to a righteous person.

 

[noirua]

If you want to make a very good point, cut up your dog collar.

 

[noirua]

...as I passed by the door I heard the lady say: "It's no good floating my boat, if I have to paddle it home myself."

 

[ithatheekret]

Life is like photography , you can always use negatives to develop .

Politicians on the otherhand are like air , sometimes fresh and breezy , sometimes stuffy and hot , sometimes stale and stagnant , but when they make policy they can become toxic .


..... and they take cr@p photos

 

[2020hindsight]

Life is like photography , you can always use negatives to develop .

lol like it...

If it wasn't for venetian blinds, it would be curtains for all of us

 

[noirua]

Starving: The flounder on the beach be all washed up and younger, but yeh, it be our deliverance in such large numbers.

 

[noirua]

Think about it: Running out of water is due to tieing up the arm.

 

[Knobby22]

Think about it: Running out of water is due to tieing up the arm.

I don't get it!!! Help!

 

[noirua]

I don't get it!!! Help!

Hi Knobby. Due to tieing up the arm on a ball float valve in a tank. Thus the tank will not fill and the water supply will run out.

 

[noirua]

I don't get it!!! Help!

Who is it? We made our way across the outback and they, my friends, lie dead across the way, ne'er an elephant survived and in history mocked for ever.

 

[2020hindsight]

Who is it? We made our way across the outback and they, my friends, lie dead across the way, ne'er an elephant survived and in history mocked for ever.

johnny howard doing an impersonation of "Prescilla queen of the desert" ?

 

[2020hindsight]

Who is it? We made our way across the outback and they, my friends, lie dead across the way, ne'er an elephant survived and in history mocked for ever.

mmmm - dunno ..

Due to tieing up the arm on a ball float valve in a tank. Thus the tank will not fill and the water supply will run out.

If you tie up an elephant's balls, it doesn't help you get across the outback?

 

[noirua]

Who is it? We made our way across the outback and they, my friends, lie dead across the way, ne'er an elephant survived and in history mocked for ever.

Answer: James O'Hara Burke in the 1860-61 expedition from Melbourne. The phrase "A right Burke" came from his expedition.
This link will take you to it - can't find any elephants but I'm sure they were used early on : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burke_and_Wills

 

[noirua]

Is it worth planning and checking the journey, both before and during it or setting out on an unknown adventure and risk, and finding places that though would not have yet thought of going, in the gamble of life?

 

[ithatheekret]

johnny howard doing an impersonation of "Prescilla queen of the desert" ?

Oh great thanks for that , now I'll have nightmares as well as having to wipe the coffee spray off the screen .

Blimey , could you imagine it , Alexander Downer in fishnet stockings was bad enough , but a frocked up Johnny , is enough to get you digging out a billabong just to drown in .