Depression

This might sound incongruous, and Brad, I don't mean to divert the thread, but I'm feeling really encouraged by the posts from ASF members in response to your affecting description of your battle with depression.

There's a lot of empathy and support which is clearly genuine.

Just brings a balance to the sense that ASF sometimes seems like a battleground of egoistic one-upmanship.

All the best, Brad.

Good onya Brad for talking about it and fighting on I have fought the dark side many times in my life maybe just short of depression but scary none the less.
IMO medication is essential for depression other measures are just not sufficient.
Hang in there

BradK said:

Has anyone else experienced depression? I am still in the middle of the fight ... so I hope I don't bum anyone out ... but the cloud is slowly lifting.

Brad

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I hear you Brad this happened to me last year after a short illness and a bad reaction from a medication. For the first few weeks I felt and incredible urge to just cry for no reason, I started ringing friends and family and start talking to them about no particular subject for some reason I had a need to talk to someone. I would start questioning certain things purpose and say to myself whats the point of it all.
Depression I think affects us in different ways and can have different symptoms but for myself I knew what caused it which helped a lot knowing that. It took me about 7 months to shake this feeling that I know was not me with no drugs just sheer determination and believing in myself that this will just pass, I found talking to loved ones really helpful watching a few episodes of 2 and half men also helped me laugh again. Also just getting out of the house and just walking in shops seeing people helped as well,also going back to work gives you a sense of purpose for the day.

Trust me all this bad feelings will soon fade away, you need to tell that to yourself that all this will just pass its a slow process but you will get there.

Stay strong and Keep us posted dude..

Hey Brad.
It was successfully dealt with by Winston Churchill (his 'black dog') and a host of luminaries throughout history, so you're in good company.
I'm no medico, so no amateur medical advice from me. I have heard it said that certain foods are good, such as legumes, rice, green veg, nuts, bananas, rice and fish. And watch the food additives and allergies. And some exercise every day is a great idea.
And don't copy Winston's remedy, go easy on the cigars and whisky

So sorry to read your story, Brad. Depression is not something I would wish on anyone. Probably like many people, I knew very little about it until a few years ago when my daughter was diagnosed. Looking back, her depression was probably there even as a child, but unfortunately, it went unrecognised. So there were a lot of untreated years that have caused much damage.

When it comes to the debate on medication, I agree with others here that it is a good thing when it is a clear clinical depression as you describe as opposed to a sad/angry time due to unfavourable circumstances.

As an example, I become quite despaired and exhausted with the amount of support I need to give to my daughter and her two children. There is very little help apart from myself, so the load becomes quite heavy and unrelenting. I have resisted medication as I don't believe I have a clinical depression. On the occasions that I get a few days break, I quickly rejuvenate again which confirms my belief that, in my case, medication is probably not necessary. Beta blockers have been helpful at times to help prevent damage from too much adrenaline.

While exercise is a good thing for depression, certain types of depression can remove any motivation for even small things, let alone exercise.

Brad, I think it is wonderful that you have shared your story. We are quite open about my daughter's depression and have found so many other people then open up that they are in a similar situation. In fact, in our last unit, both our direct neighbours had adult children with severe depression - and they weren't talking about it. It wasn't until we talked openly that they opened up and then we were all a support to each other.

I sincerely wish you all the best with your recovery. You may find it has its ups and downs. I see it as similar to an uptrend in the market - there may well be some temporary pull backs, but focus on the overall uptrend...

sails said:

So sorry to read your story, Brad. Depression is not something I would wish on anyone. Probably like many people, I knew very little about it until a few years ago when my daughter was diagnosed. Looking back, her depression was probably there even as a child, but unfortunately, it went unrecognised. So there were a lot of untreated years that have caused much damage.

As an example, I become quite despaired and exhausted with the amount of support I need to give to my daughter and her two children. There is very little help apart from myself, so the load becomes quite heavy and unrelenting.

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Sails,

Must be heart breaking to see your own daughter going through this. If there is one person I have kept shielded from all of this, it is my own mother. Not because I would not appreciate her love and care, but she is a natural worrier and will not cope with this - especially seeing I have had so much time off work.

Sorry to hear that the bulk of the responsibility has, at times, fallen onto your shoulders. I wonder if you can enlist some supportive friends to help out? I am very conscious that the bulk of house chores, cooking, looking after 4 year old missy has fallen to my wife. I need to be careful not to burn her out. So, when friends say, 'Is there anything I can do?' - we have people come over and cook, wash up and vaccuum. Hey, they asked! And I think they feel they are contributing.

Again, I am very blessed to have about 6 close couple friends who would take a bullet for us. It is very rare.

On a good note, I actually returned to work today after 3 weeks absence. I was nice to hear the students say that they missed me and were all over me when I returned. Not sure if I will last the week, but I have a great boss who has said to take it sloooowwwlllyyyy.

Today was the first full day of actually feeling normal and getting on top of things. I know that I have to work hard against the return of the depression, and I know that there will be set backs. For example, on Saturday, I spent the day crying in bed after spending a couple of days feeling like I was rather on the mend.

Again, thanks for all the supportive posts. Sharing my story is important to me. I have been doing some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and it has taught me alot about myself, my reactions and behaviours.

Cheers
Brad

Courageous thread and posts Brad being open must have been hard but many here at ASF who wont be posting will be so glad you did.


Good luck and wishing you a speedy recovery.

I remember Mental Health activists were outraged when the governments new health plan came out, as Mental Health was pretty much ignored. Below is an email my girlfriend forwarded to me. It was sent to subscribers of the GetUp website, by Prof John Mendoza (head advisor to Rudd govt on mental health)

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"I lost my beautiful youngest daughter to suicide 3 years ago... She was not referred on to an appropriate service after suffering post-natal depression... She had 3 children whom she adored, and she had so much to live for. She said to me not long before she died, 'Mum, I wish I had cancer, then people would be more understanding and caring'. We need improved and increased specialised services NOW." --Mary, a GetUp member who shared her story.

No parent should have to experience this. Please sign this petition today before it's delivered to Parliament House on Thursday: http://www.getup.org.au/campaign/MentalHealth

--- A message to you from Prof John Mendoza ---

Dear Bernadette,

On Friday I resigned my position as the head advisor to the Rudd Government on mental health. And it's because of stories like Mary's and my frustration over the Government's failure to do more to prevent them.

So, today I'm taking the unusual step of writing to you through GetUp to ask you to sign this petition, because I've come to the regrettable conclusion that my advice was not getting through - only public pressure will spur politicians into action.

Every day 330 Australians with serious mental illnesses are turned away from Emergency Departments, and 1,200 Australians are refused admission to a public or private psychiatric unit.

Every day more than 7 people die as a result of suicide, and more than a third of those have been discharged too early or without care from hospitals. For each of those 7 Australians, there are 7 families who mourn them, 7 groups of friends who ask themselves, 'why?'

And every day our political leaders fail to take action, this crisis worsens. This petition will be presented at Parliament House on Thursday - please add your name now through the GetUp website below:

www.getup.org.au/campaign/MentalHealth

On Thursday, I and over 60 mental health organisations from across Australia intend to present a letter to Kevin Rudd with a plan of action for mental health. But so far, the Prime Minister has declined to receive it, and so too has the Health Minister, Nicola Roxon.

If 60,000 Australians get behind those 60 organisations by signing this petition, perhaps the Government will stand up and take notice. Please join us by adding your name through the GetUp website below:

www.getup.org.au/campaign/MentalHealth

There are programs on the ground right now, proven to be effective - but we need real leadership and new investment to roll them out nationally. The Headspace youth mental health centres and psychosis intervention services pioneered by Professor McGorry are excellent and can reach hundreds of thousands of young Australians, if we make an additional investment of $250 million a year. The lack of spending right now means that tens of thousands of young Australians have no access to care.

We also need to expand programs for child mental health, so that the parents of every child with a learning or developmental disorder can access effective services. We must also provide more support for the 63,000 homeless Australians suffering from mental illness, and invest in e-health services that can reach hundreds of thousands of sufferers cost effectively.

Lastly, we owe it to our children, and their peers, to implement a national suicide prevention service. Suicide is the number 1 cause of death for men 16-44 and women 16-34 years. But across Australia, life-saving suicide prevention services are starved for funds. $100 million would expand these crucial services and concentrate on suicide hot spots like 'The Gap' in Sydney, where just last week the Federal and NSW Governments passed up on the opportunity to fund an effective suicide prevention project.

www.getup.org.au/campaign/MentalHealth

For too long, successive Governments have failed to take mental health seriously. It's now the leading cause of disability for all Australians and the leading killer of those under 44. On Friday, the Prime Minister restated his commitment "to do more on mental health" and that the next cab off the rank was mental health." They've been saying that for six months, but if they're serious, these sensible investments can start saving lives and alleviate suffering today.

The concerted efforts of mental health campaigners, including GetUp members, have been effective in securing small pledges from the Government this year - but we need an investment of at least $500 million to start turning this health crisis around. It's within our grasp. A poll commissioned by GetUp this weekend found that 83% of Australians would be in favour of investing $500 million in mental health immediately.

The policies are there, the public support is there and million of Australians are waiting for help - now we need the public political pressure to make it happen. Please join the call by adding your name at: http://www.getup.org.au/campaign/MentalHealth

Thanks,
Prof. John Mendoza

*Mary is a GetUp member who shared her family's story with other GetUp members when we launched the mental health campaign. Her name has been changed in respect for her privacy.

An ABC interview with Prof John Mendoza:

http://www.abc.net.au/pm/content/2010/s2932959.htm

IFocus said:

Courageous thread and posts Brad being open must have been hard but many here at ASF who wont be posting will be so glad you did.


Good luck and wishing you a speedy recovery.

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Such a debilitating illness. I've experienced it in my family unit and also with work colleagues. But there is light at the end of the tunnel.

One of my business partners failed at an attempted suicide brought on by spiralling depression. Anyway - a short hospital stint, regular counselling, medication and time has meant a brand new person. He also has learnt the "warning signs" and what he needs to do to better control it.

From the depths of despair, your life can rise to great heights.

All the best

Duckman

KEVIN Rudd's top mental health adviser has resigned in frustration, accusing the Prime Minister and his government of failing the mentally ill with their ''abundantly clear'' lack of vision and commitment to a problem that affects millions of Australians.

The chairman of the National Advisory Council on Mental Health, John Mendoza, tendered his resignation on Friday, citing yet another Rudd government policy failure among his reasons.

http://www.theage.com.au/national/mental-health-chief-resigns-20100619-yo25.html

Hmmmmmmm ... stay safe BradK

Good for Prof Mendoza for taking his message to the government via the media. It's about the only avenue left for frustrated mental health professionals.

Rudd's empty promises in this regard are obviously regarded with the disdain they deserve. Like the very old who are in such great need of better care, people with a mental illness often don't have the energy to vote, so hey, let's spend those dollars on buying the votes of the people who do vote.

BradK,
Thank you for sharing your story, by your forthrightness you might encourage others to hopefully share their load (and I hope we can help share yours).
I've often wondered how much damage we're doing to ourselves and our children in our mad rush to better ourselves.
I wouldnt say I've suffered from depression but I do know that I've had times when I've felt under so much pressure to do well, get the job done and all the 100 others that I've got on my plate at any one time that I feel like everything is breaking down and out of control.
The ironic thing about that is that in these situations I normally get less done than ever before since I'm effectively paralysed by the sheer volume and choice of what to get done.
It is of course all brought on by myself so I cannot complain but I do look at it at times and wonder to what end.
Good luck my friend and may your times improve.

Thanks gav for the GetUp link, I've signed it and faxed my local MP(apparently).

JB

Hi,

The last few days haven't been great, but a small victory is that I saw the signs and responded to them.

Having been on medication for over three weeks now, I think they are starting to take effect. I went to work yesterday morning and went, 'ohh' something is not right here. I knew that a big drop was coming and the mental image I got was the ground opening up in front of me. It was astonishing how fast it happened without any real cause.

I had a CHOICE. Step into it or calmly walk away in the opposite direction. Thankfully, the medication has stopped my mind going into over drive - actually it has just STOPPED my mind! - so I was unable to play through any negative scenarios.

Without the medication, I have no doubt that a week, two, three weeks ago, I would have stepped into it without any real way out.

By recess, I felt like it was going to swallow me up - so I put into practice what I have been working on with the psychologist. I calmly went to my office and did some breathing. I then calmly went to the Deputy Principal and told him that I would be leaving for the day. Following this, I went for a long stroll along the beach before a light work out at the gym.

I did not try to work it out too much. I simply walked away. Today, I am resting and will be back at work tomorrow.

Brad

hello,

Hows it going man

Thankyou
Professor robots

robots said:

hello,

Hows it going man

Thankyou
Professor robots

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Doing well thanks Robots.

I have thrown everything I possibly can at this - once the medication allowed me to get up - and want to stage a full recovery. I know it will take time and rest, but I want to be able to say that 'I USED to have depression' rather than still have it or have it dormant.

I asked the psychologist yesterday if I would always have depression. Or if, like a broken bone, you have an episode of it and it doesn't return. He thinks that if you can spot the signs super early, I will be right.

I am much more aware of my emotions now than I was two months ago. I also know that I have a choice. Step in to the darkness, or walk calmly away in the other direction as if you were walking away from a vicious dog. Have managed to do that twice in the last week. I have put a little sign on my desk - Step In?... Walk Away!

Look at the end of the day, this has scared the **** out of me like no other experience. I don't trust my own thoughts, and I am just doing everything the doctors and psychologists tell me to do. As I said, I am throwing everything at it, although I do have the odd period of deep despair. But they are getting further and further apart now. The psychologist says I am the quickest learner he ever had. I put that down to being scared rather than determined!

Such a steep learning curve.

Brad

Hi there Brad K.
I have a 29 yo son who lives with me that has what they call pro dromal psychosis. Early schizophrenia. He is on medication that keeps him on a level keel. His communication abilities are difficult for him.

He sees both a psychologist and a psychiatrist on a monthly basis.

Out of the blue he decided to seek out an alternative way of approaching his difficulties and did a small course in alternative healing called Reki. It`s only over a weekend but today he came back home obviously refreshed.

There are a multitude of cynics out there that poo poo all sorts of options as to how we heal ourselves, however there is also a spiritual component to all our beings that we have to acknowledge within ourselves.

Starting in the alternative healings for my son was a good step and there are many.

My son had very bad vibes in his workplace. He didn`t take drugs and is a very caring, feeling person that actually found himself in an environment that was totally counterproductive to his work place.

There are many people out in the world that have spiritual knowledge.

It`s better to find that than persue that that makes you ill.

All the best Brad, in all kindness

Hi Buckfont.

I work with the criminally insane for about 25 years and consequently it could be argued that I see the worst cases.

But from my experience medication is absolutely critical.

I have seen many nice people who have killed family members due to paranoia associated with their schizophrenia.

Due to their side effects many people with schizophrenia avoid taking medication at the start but over the years learn that side effects of medication are better then symptoms of schizophrenia.

I am not saying that people with schizophrenia will ultimately kill somebody but often the paranoia tends to focus on the people closest to them.

RamonR said:

Hi Buckfont.

I work with the criminally insane for about 25 years and consequently it could be argued that I see the worst cases.

But from my experience medication is absolutely critical.

I have seen many nice people who have killed family members due to paranoia associated with their schizophrenia.

Due to their side effects many people with schizophrenia avoid taking medication at the start but over the years learn that side effects of medication are better then symptoms of schizophrenia.

I am not saying that people with schizophrenia will ultimately kill somebody but often the paranoia tends to focus on the people closest to them.

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Thanx for your insight RamonR.

That must have been a very confronting period in your life and I`m sure I would not have the emotional capacity to deal with that on such a large scale.

Not for a second would ever condone skipping medication, rather that the conditions as in my son`s case and possibly many others may be aided in their recouperation with the help of relaxation techniques and the like.

I have seen both sides of his illness, the state of fear and his present condition, which I know to be quite grounded, and under control, despite the fact his energy levels are quite low and he sleeps alot. There is slow improvement which for a father is very encouraging. BF

Well done Brad for acknowledging you have a problem and for being able to deal with it so promptly. Acknowledging the problem is 50% of the cure.

I have been on medication (Zoloft) for 10 years. Mostly 150mg when things weren't good. About 12 months back I realised i was getting better and over the past 5 months i have been weaning myself gradually off the medication and expect to "step ashore" within a few weeks. I do not feel like getting depressed, my raging anger has gone, plus some other nasties also.

I would recommend you take any opportunity to talk with a proper psychiatrist even if you feel you are getting better. A good one (and i stress get a good one) will help steady the boat for the future. Do you find being with some people encourages you to say things you regret even as you're saying them, conversation that makes you feel bad about yourself? Remove yourself from the situation and just don't place yourself in their company. That might sound simplistic but I am trying to say remove the things around you that make you feel uncomfortable about yourself. You need to travel a smooth road, not a rocky one.

Again well done for confronting this issue and best wishes for a great result.