doctorj
Hatchet Moderator
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Getting in touch with your softer side Wayne? Surely the cricket isn't that bad? 
wayneL
'Abba Shboq Lhon'
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Getting in touch with your softer side Wayne? Surely the cricket isn't that bad?
Some spirit has taken over my body, I've never written a poem in my life!
Couldn't it have been Yeats instead of some two bit ditty writer LOL
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A judgmental judge-dude who chaired
well his maths were a little - impaired
no way could it be
E that equals M(x)C(x)C
could be written instead MC^2
Hey wayne, I've had a good day - exported a third container of manufactured product yesterday.... keep a few Aussies in a job. No-one's proposing a Luddite mentality btw.
Even made close to $10K on the market - it will go some of the way towards a vet's bill I've got coming up
well his maths were a little - impaired
no way could it be
E that equals M(x)C(x)C
could be written instead MC^2
Hey wayne, I've had a good day - exported a third container of manufactured product yesterday.... keep a few Aussies in a job. No-one's proposing a Luddite mentality btw.
Even made close to $10K on the market - it will go some of the way towards a vet's bill I've got coming up
wayneL
'Abba Shboq Lhon'
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The was this bloke from the New Wales of the South
Who from a vet bill was a bit down in the mouth
I should hasten to add
That his mathematics are as bad
As a farmer who seeds his paddock in a drought
Who from a vet bill was a bit down in the mouth
I should hasten to add
That his mathematics are as bad
As a farmer who seeds his paddock in a drought
wayneL
'Abba Shboq Lhon'
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There was a bridge builder who lived not like a Lud
Who’s portfolio had crashed with a thud
When the cat hit the ground
The bounce did astound
Oh to realize, those shares were a dud.
Who’s portfolio had crashed with a thud
When the cat hit the ground
The bounce did astound
Oh to realize, those shares were a dud.
wayneL
'Abba Shboq Lhon'
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The bloke whose vet’s cash register did chime
Was obviously a bit short of time
The limerical jive
Who’s lines add up to five
He should realize the last line should rhyme
rub92me
Don't look back
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Haiku
I think I like
the old acerbic Wayne better.
But only just
I think I like
the old acerbic Wayne better.
But only just
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The Turtle, by Ogden Nash 1902 - 1971
The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.
The turtle lives 'twixt plated decks
Which practically conceal its sex.
I think it clever of the turtle
In such a fix to be so fertile.
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I drive always very, very fast
as it's my great dread, to be last,
foot down, keep it down, so fast
no chance of ever being, the last.
Today again so fast, the die is cast
the bend goes on and on, wont pass,
twisting and turning, faster so fast
and then, last bend, but not the last.
... - by noirua
as it's my great dread, to be last,
foot down, keep it down, so fast
no chance of ever being, the last.
Today again so fast, the die is cast
the bend goes on and on, wont pass,
twisting and turning, faster so fast
and then, last bend, but not the last.
... - by noirua
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Just playing around with the lines - rejigging that poem - more regular rhythm and rhyming - apologies probably due to J.Alex Allan - but what the heck.
(PS I would claim it is not an insult to the original poet to rewrite his words. I sometimes do this with Shakespeare as well - forces you to really study what is being said - and to some minor extent (in this case) re-express it is in your own words.)
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Having some fun with Shakespeare eg Richard II
https://www.aussiestockforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=180195&highlight=shakespeare#post180195
so What to make of this my lot in life?
it’s Difficult but here’s a crack – let’s see ….
I’m One of earthly millions here in strife
but In my mind - this prison - only me.
my Soul with chase my brain around my head
and When it catches up breeds naught but thoughts (naughty thoughts?)
lie, Screwed up drafts of things I almost said
lie, Discontented half endorsed reports.
https://www.aussiestockforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=180195&highlight=shakespeare#post180195
W. Shakespeare's Richard II said:
so What to make of this my lot in life?
it’s Difficult but here’s a crack – let’s see ….
I’m One of earthly millions here in strife
but In my mind - this prison - only me.
W. Shakespeare's Richard II said:
my Soul with chase my brain around my head
and When it catches up breeds naught but thoughts (naughty thoughts?)
lie, Screwed up drafts of things I almost said
lie, Discontented half endorsed reports.
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I'M GUESSING "CONSTRUCTIVE" MUST PLAY A PART.
Most people would say that they plan to construct what the reckon they’d most like to be
that there’s more in life than money and luck, that’s less mortal than you and me,
It’s ok to play with alluvial gold, and to buy some gilt edged dream
but there’s deeper gems to find I’ve been told, that you mine from a deeper seam.
there’s the golden rule that you learn at school, when a youthful five or six,
and on this you can build, as your diary is filled, with more moral mortar and bricks
there’s meaning and mission and maingame and more, and the health of the soul and the heart
and I’m guessing it’s mystical, unwritten law ...... but “constructive” must play a part.
Most people would say that they plan to construct what the reckon they’d most like to be
that there’s more in life than money and luck, that’s less mortal than you and me,
It’s ok to play with alluvial gold, and to buy some gilt edged dream
but there’s deeper gems to find I’ve been told, that you mine from a deeper seam.
there’s the golden rule that you learn at school, when a youthful five or six,
and on this you can build, as your diary is filled, with more moral mortar and bricks
there’s meaning and mission and maingame and more, and the health of the soul and the heart
and I’m guessing it’s mystical, unwritten law ...... but “constructive” must play a part.
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I don't know my left from my right
and my sight requires it be so bright,
the words in the book mean nothing
and if only I could, yes, just to write.
My fingers on my left hand are missing
and my foot is just skewed to the right,
if only my brain had something missing
I would know nothing and then I'd be alright.
I pray to not know - by noirua
and my sight requires it be so bright,
the words in the book mean nothing
and if only I could, yes, just to write.
My fingers on my left hand are missing
and my foot is just skewed to the right,
if only my brain had something missing
I would know nothing and then I'd be alright.
I pray to not know - by noirua
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One for the dads out there to contemplate
(skip to the last line if you "get the ghist" with the rest)
(PS apparently - as taught at tertiary psychology courses - babies smile as a self-defence mechanism - to "give us no option" but to love them
reason to smile
http://www.ladylyric.info/lady2.html
(skip to the last line if you "get the ghist" with the rest)
(PS apparently - as taught at tertiary psychology courses - babies smile as a self-defence mechanism - to "give us no option" but to love them
reason to smile
http://www.ladylyric.info/lady2.html
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PS which begs the question ...
I wonder why God invented cholic? lol
PS I'm sure mums also feature in a baby's world lol - I'll try to find a suitable poem - unless someone beats me to it
.
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POLLIES, PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY YOU SMILE.
"Why do you smile?, please explain,
is it cholic or some other pain?
is it meant to alarm?
or maybe to calm?
or confidence you’re trying to feign?"
"You ask we what can be gained
well the party might get me ordained
and my dental work’s there
for the world to share
as long as my face don’t get sprained."
The reason is anyone’s guess
why they make their face such a mess,
if they’re looking for more
in the confidence score
I’m guessing their gestures score less.
"Why do you smile?, please explain,
is it cholic or some other pain?
is it meant to alarm?
or maybe to calm?
or confidence you’re trying to feign?"
"You ask we what can be gained
well the party might get me ordained
and my dental work’s there
for the world to share
as long as my face don’t get sprained."
The reason is anyone’s guess
why they make their face such a mess,
if they’re looking for more
in the confidence score
I’m guessing their gestures score less.
Attachments
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THE SCHOOL REUNION
A reunion of schoolmates last year
was the best damned excuse for a beer
“my, you haven’t changed
but your head’s … rearranged ?
you’re bald, and I’m broke, and he’s queer.”
And the note said “let’s all get together
it's been years since we all met together
30 years since we schooled
Jack-assed and Tom-fooled
so let’s get our throats all wet together.”
The wealthiest ones stayed away
‘twas beneath them to come say g’day
but the rest of the tribe
laughed all night with the vibe -
which I reckon proves crime just don’t pay.
But sadly there also were some
whose life had turned downward and glum
I said “wish I could help
but my prop’s stuck in kelp”
and he laughed like a schoolmate chum.
Wherever our pathways have lead
whether castle bound comfort or shed
it was fun to discern
and to listen and learn
and to toast “better lively than dead”. :bier:
A reunion of schoolmates last year
was the best damned excuse for a beer
“my, you haven’t changed
but your head’s … rearranged ?
you’re bald, and I’m broke, and he’s queer.”
And the note said “let’s all get together
it's been years since we all met together
30 years since we schooled
Jack-assed and Tom-fooled
so let’s get our throats all wet together.”
The wealthiest ones stayed away
‘twas beneath them to come say g’day
but the rest of the tribe
laughed all night with the vibe -
which I reckon proves crime just don’t pay.
But sadly there also were some
whose life had turned downward and glum
I said “wish I could help
but my prop’s stuck in kelp”
and he laughed like a schoolmate chum.
Wherever our pathways have lead
whether castle bound comfort or shed
it was fun to discern
and to listen and learn
and to toast “better lively than dead”. :bier:
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(Based on a true story - only the name of the Browns has been changed to protect the innocent. They were really the Smiths. I believe Perkins was a Highland Terrier - they lived in Yorkshire UK - you have to imagine Yorkshire as you read this )
THE PECKING ORDER OF PERKIN'S HIP
A couple, the Browns, whom I knew
had a dog with bad hips, knees, and flue
the pet’s name was Perkins
and most of its workin’s
were tied up with tungsten and glue
Old Perkins was quite a disaster
a turtle on dope could run faster
you would have to say
at the end of the day
he preferred the mistress to the master.
They lived like three blood-tied relations
with all of life’s little frustrations
To Perkin’s perception
the pecking order direction
meant the man had the lowliest station
The old man said "Let’s put him down
though its sad and it’s said with a frown"
but ... all the dog’s problems
its slipped hips and wobblin’s
were shared by his wife Mrs Brown
“It’s only his hipjoint!” she snapped
“it’s just like my hip I had capped!”
“you’d put me down too!?
is that what you’d do?
no, you’ll jollywell have to adapt!”
She glared at him on those occasions
so Perkins had ten operations
and so did his wife
the love of his life
now he lives with all of his patients.
That’s the yarn of the couple who quabbled
about vet bills and why the dog wobbled
under threat he agreed
that the pet was indeed
too much like the wife to be nobbled.
- only the name of the Browns has been changed to protect the innocent. They were really the Smiths. I believe Perkins was a Highland Terrier - they lived in Yorkshire UK - you have to imagine Yorkshire as you read this ) THE PECKING ORDER OF PERKIN'S HIP
A couple, the Browns, whom I knew
had a dog with bad hips, knees, and flue
the pet’s name was Perkins
and most of its workin’s
were tied up with tungsten and glue
Old Perkins was quite a disaster
a turtle on dope could run faster
you would have to say
at the end of the day
he preferred the mistress to the master.
They lived like three blood-tied relations
with all of life’s little frustrations
To Perkin’s perception
the pecking order direction
meant the man had the lowliest station
The old man said "Let’s put him down
though its sad and it’s said with a frown"
but
... all the dog’s problemsits slipped hips and wobblin’s
were shared by his wife Mrs Brown
“It’s only his hipjoint!” she snapped
“it’s just like my hip I had capped!”
“you’d put me down too!?
is that what you’d do?
no, you’ll jollywell have to adapt!”
She glared at him on those occasions
so Perkins had ten operations
and so did his wife
the love of his life
now he lives with all of his patients.
That’s the yarn of the couple who quabbled
about vet bills and why the dog wobbled
under threat he agreed
that the pet was indeed
too much like the wife to be nobbled.
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Some explanation / discussion of limericks.. (if'n you're interested).
http://www.speedysnail.com/limericks/metre.html
I still like the one...
There once was a fellow named Mike
who went for a ride on a bike
the bike hit some ruts
and knocked off his hat -
and what do you think of that.
http://www.speedysnail.com/limericks/metre.html
I still like the one...
There once was a fellow named Mike
who went for a ride on a bike
the bike hit some ruts
and knocked off his hat -
and what do you think of that.
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DOPPLER AND REDSHIFT
As the racecar came over over the hill
it's motor was screaming quite shrill
but as it went past
the sound of its blast
was toned down to practically nil.
So too the jet fighter that sped
at "half c" or more overhead
a more subtle contrast
as it's flame flew by fast
but its colour would change blue to red.
As the racecar came over over the hill
it's motor was screaming quite shrill
but as it went past
the sound of its blast
was toned down to practically nil.
So too the jet fighter that sped
at "half c" or more overhead
a more subtle contrast
as it's flame flew by fast
but its colour would change blue to red.
