Being a good parent

[dutchie]

Add any suggestions, articles, books that help us be better (good) parents.


Start the ball with this one -

Mum gives son iPhone with contract on how he is to use it

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/technology/m...it/story-e6frfro0-1226546528151#ixzz2GnbxLdhI

Now that's what I call being a responsible parent.

 

[CanOz]

Re: Being a good parent.

Well, whether or not one agrees with the contract (i agree with it totally), she deserves an 'A' or effort in my book. She is attempting to educate him on responsibility, something few parents seem to do these days. Well done i say.


CanOz

 

[waza1960]

Re: Being a good parent.

My view is if she had brought him up properly to that point a contract would be unnecessary.
Also 13 IMO is a little young for a mobile phone

 

[CanOz]

Re: Being a good parent.

My view is if she had brought him up properly to that point a contract would be unnecessary.
Also 13 IMO is a little young for a mobile phone

Good points...

In Canada, in most rural areas you wouldn't see anyone with a mobile phone until late teens.

In Asia, by the time they're thirteen they've had a couple!

CanOz

 

[Smurf1976]

Re: Being a good parent.

Also 13 IMO is a little young for a mobile phone

I don't know what the average parent does, but one issue that comes to mind is that payphones, or "phone boxes" as we used to call them, have largely disappeared these days.

No mobile = no means of making a call these days.

As for the general use of phones issue, I sure don't like it if someone forgets to silence it in the cinema etc. But spare a thought for the many workers who are obliged to carry one and keep it switched on 24/7 in case they're called out. Switching it to silent + vibrate, rather than off, is the answer there.

 

[DocK]

Re: Being a good parent.

Good points...

In Canada, in most rural areas you wouldn't see anyone with a mobile phone until late teens.

In Asia, by the time they're thirteen they've had a couple!

CanOz

Both of my kids were given basic mobiles when they were in their early teens - as much for my convenience and peace-of-mind as for them. It just makes my life easier if they can send me a quick text when ready to be collected from school/movies/friends house etc - rather than me sitting around waiting if they're delayed or running late. These days there are so many activities on at school that it's hard to keep track of when they have extra-curricular stuff on after school or not. I also like being able to keep in touch with them when it suits me - we also have a rule that "Mother must never be ignored"

Older son got carried away with the text messaging last year - it had been spelt out to them how many texts they could send within the plan we had, and that they were expected to keep track for themselves. We made him pay the difference out of his own account - savings from pocket money, odd jobs etc. He hasn't done that again

If I had one parenting tip to pass on it would be not to protect them from every possible failure or mistake. Kids develop resilience from making mistakes, and a little bit of tough love can provide an easier lesson then life might hand out down the track. Being allowed to find their own solutions or come back from a failure is fantastic at building self-confidence. There can be a fine line between guidance and taking over.

I see young parents practically wrapping their kids up in cotton wool from birth these days and I don't think their kids are going to be the better for it - just as exposure to a bit of dirt helps them build up some immunity to disease, a little "reality" can ensure they'll survive the schoolyard.

Don't tell them they're wonderful at everything if they're not - they'll just wind up being cruelly cut down to size by their peers if they believe they have talents not obvious to anyone but their doting parents. Do remember to praise them and let them know how proud you are of them whenever the opportunity arrises. Childhood and teenage self-esteem can be a very fragile thing and should be fostered and reinforced if possible.

Encourage them to try new things and to give everything their best shot - "If something's worth doing, it's worth doing properly" is something my parents drummed into me, and I likewise hear myself parroting this to my kids.

Disconnect them from all their various techno gadgets occasionally and make them spend some time with their old folks - it's important to try to maintain family bonding time no matter how busy life gets.

Resist the urge to snap their scrawny necks when they're being revolting teenagers, and go peek at them when they're asleep to remind yourself how much you love them to bits.

 

[CanOz]

Dock, that's got to be the best post I've seen on ASF in months!

CanOz

 

[DocK]

Dock, that's got to be the best post I've seen on ASF in months!

CanOz

Thanks CanOz - it sounds easy in theory, but can require lots of patience to put into practice! I do believe most parents are trying to do the best they can - love, attention and discipline are the holy trinity of parenting imo.