The Exceptional Happiness Ideas and Thinking Thread

[kincella]

all this talk about the wealthy not being nice, or happy people...makes me wonder....
I know several mega wealthy people.....they are all very nice...they are all from the 'old school' types....no margin loans or fancy stuff....

as for the driven types...not compatable with contentment......?
depends on what drives you ....could you believe some people are at their happiest, and contented, when they are motivated and driven......it works for me....

my father was still breaking in the young and wild horses at age 83, before his untimely death from an unrelated accident.....and he was transporting cattle for 2 days a week....he enjoyed his work....had no intention of retiring
he was a happy man...he loved the responsibility of getting up to go to work each day to look after and train his babies....
he had the S model Jaguar...drove it at 100 miles per hour out on the road, took his lady friends to lunch and the races....acted as if he was 40...
you might have called him driven...he was just enjoying life...doing what he always did...no more no less...
his mates were retiring at 65 and dying not long after...probably half of it from boredom...

 

[Mr J]

depends on what drives you

I'd agree with this. In regard to the driven not being satisfied, it may be common among people who are driven by materialistic and superficial desires.

 

[Julia]

Dear Julia,
I seem to have upset you,

"unemployment benefit. e.g. if you get around $200 ish a week and rent on a very basic 1brm flat is $250, how are you going to manage?"

EASY my dear, you move to a cheaper place to live !

Had a look at rental property recently? You'd be lucky to get anything for $200 in most areas.

AND you grow food in buckets !
AND go fishing to feed your family !

Yeah, right. Easily fixed. Especially if you live in the city in an apartment block with no balcony.

No, you haven't 'upset' me. I just hate rabid generalisations such as suggesting that people who are poor are so because they don't know how to prioritise their money, and spend it all on poker machines, booze and cigarettes.

I've worked with hundreds of people whose lives for various reasons have been immensely difficult, who don't do any of these things, and who continue to struggle.

I acknowledge that some people do waste money on such pursuits, but you're simply being unfair in suggesting all anyone has to do to be just hunky dory and happy as all hell, is go fishing and plant some tomato seeds in a bucket.



Some of you have said that money is irrelevant to happiness.
Let's break it down a bit.

Kincella, you love your dog. If you didn't have money you couldn't afford to buy a dog. Maybe you get a free dog from a shelter. What happens if the dog gets sick/hurt and the vet says it will cost $500 or dog will die?
How do you get on then?

Or perhaps you have young children. Child gets sick. Needs a drug not on the PBS. Cost $200. No money. What happens then?

Ageing person needs new glasses. Where does the money come from?

The old car (all you can afford) needs repairs. $1500. Where does this come from?

You have foot problems. Need custom orthotics. Ooops, another $600 or more.

The rent goes up $20. Electricity goes up $60 per quarter.

Etc etc.

If someone simply doesn't have the income to meet such expenses, you're telling me they're going to be rolling around in a state of bliss?
Give me a break!

There's a huge difference between being mega-wealthy (absolutely unnecessary, sometimes counterproductive) and simply having enough to provide shelter and basic necessities.

 

[Ageo]

I think the answer here is different people have different levels at which they are happy at.

* Some are happy with nothing
* Some need financial stability to have happiness
* Some need massive amounts of wealth to be happy (but i find this option hard to believe).

 

[Mr J]

I think it's hard to argue that money doesn't matter - it matters to most people to an extent. Some living outside the system may not need any, but for most I think money improves happiness to the point where we are comfortable. Comfort is of course subjective.

I think much of happiness lies in realising what we do and do not need. If we think we need more than we have, we're less likely to be happy than if we're satisfied with what we have.

 

[kincella]

not materialistic or superficial...neither was my father...
I know people who hate their jobs..others who sit around watching telly or movies all day...
and mostly the people I mix with are driven for a reason other than as you say....
I have a big family to look after.....tried to save my brothers life last year...I paid all the medicals to get him into better health care....but the hospital and its bugs killed him a long slow painful death over 2 months...
I have another brother, hurt his back years ago, cannot work, now has diabetes 2, he will need assistance in the future...

my friends and associates are more into doing what they enjoy...careers they love...helping others, charity , donating time for a good effort...

I think some of the unhappiness comes from too much alcohol or drugs or both and the hang overs that follow...
I have a daughter who is mostly unhappy...she keeps making the wrong decisions, thinks the world owes her in some way....but she will not do anything to change or fix it...
oh and I think studies have shown some people enjoy being unhappy...

 

[awg]

You do make a good and true point Kincella.

In theory, perhaps he fits the description of the 2nd highest stage of Maslow, although note the wording

Self-actualization and Maslow's Hierarchy

"The term was later used by Abraham Maslow in his article, A Theory of Human Motivation. Maslow explicitly defines self-actualization to be "the desire for self-fulfillment, namely the tendency for him [the individual] to become actualized in what he is potentially. This tendency might be phrased as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming."[2] Maslow used the term self-actualization to describe a desire, not a driving force, that could lead to realizing one's capabilities. Maslow did not feel that self-actualization determined one's life; rather, he felt that it gave the individual a desire, or motivation to achieve budding ambitions."



You have reminded me that the the most satisfied people I meet, seem to have the right balance, but strive and work hard and dilligently towards this, and reward most often follows.

 

[Boyou]

Absolutely agree with all your points ,Julia...but to take the discussion further into the philisophical..

Perhaps happiness is more related to your "horizons"...and those can be influenced by many factors. Age. Career prospects. Bank balance.Spiritual state or relationship with others.

Maybe Happiness is all relativistic nonsense..cant be measured or defined systematically ,only emperically.

Wonder what Plato and Socrates would have to say if they were posting today?

Cheers Ya'll

 

[Mr J]

not materialistic or superficial...neither was my father...

I wasn't referring to you or your father, just that materialistic and superficial people are probably less likely to be happy than those who are happy with what they have, and have no desire to compare themselves with everyone else.

 

[kincella]

I know I 'got it'...just a statement about my position ...attitude...
look some days as you get older...just waking up in the morning and realising you are still alive is a bonus to start with....then the rest of the day is all cream....
I was supposed to be dead years ago.........

 

[nunthewiser]

yep great thread

anyone define happiness tho ?

is it a puff on a joint and having the giggles , doing the moonwalk and having a fat ole time ?

is it seeing your first child born ?

is it missing catastrophy by the skin of your nose ?

mmmmmmm this thread too deep for me , im going back to the stock threads where i can ramp everything i own like a mindless dweeb instead

 

[Boyou]

"I was supposed to be dead years ago........."

Exactly! Health..isn't that a major part of you horizon?

 

[awg]

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-To-Be-Happy---Why-Happiness-And-Sadness&id=833729

lots of practical small articles on this site, towards the bottom, nothing too deep.

hippies may read

Martin Seligman is the doyen of Positive Psychology, I am am not a huge fan of his work though

also link to definitions and measurement of happiness

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/happiness_formula/4783836.stm

 

[bowman]

yep great thread

anyone define happiness tho ?

is it a puff on a joint and having the giggles , doing the moonwalk and having a fat ole time ?

is it seeing your first child born ?

is it missing catastrophy by the skin of your nose ?

mmmmmmm this thread too deep for me , im going back to the stock threads where i can ramp everything i own like a mindless dweeb instead

Happiness is having a joint, then narrowly avoiding being hit by a bus while you moonwalk your way to the hospital to witness the birth of your first child.

Everything else is just contentment.

 

[Julia]

Absolutely agree with all your points ,Julia...but to take the discussion further into the philisophical..

Perhaps happiness is more related to your "horizons"...and those can be influenced by many factors. Age. Career prospects. Bank balance.Spiritual state or relationship with others.

That's a good point, Boyou. When we're young and needing to make our way in a career, relationships etc, I guess we're going to be more 'driven' than when we feel we've more or less achieved what we need.

Or sometimes it's simply realising what is enough, or that we don't have to be the best at everything we do. Sometimes it might be accepting what can't be changed, e.g. a health problem.

Kincella has mentioned getting older and just being happy for being alive.
The following is something I took out of a novel, the comment being about a woman in her 80's.

It seemed to her that all of life was simply diminution and loss, the paring away by degrees of what had seemed necessary, the learning to do without.

That sounds sad, almost defeated, but I think it could equally be someone who is accepting what can't be changed.

 

[kincella]

I have not contributed to the 'exceptional' happiness, just plain old happy...

Norman vincent Peale 's, Power of Positive Thinking was like a bible to me , many years ago, when I changed my life....

I think it is very important that you enjoy your working life...that its what you look forward to doing 5 days a week...
I planned my career, with the intention of starting my own business...which I did over 20 years ago.....
I love my work, and being self employed allows more freedom and flexibility ...I like the challenge and the rewards.....
I have no intention of full retirement from the workforce....am semi retired now...and its boring.....

 

[kincella]

I have an aunt in her 80's, she has finally stopped riding the horses, although her son uses all sorts of excuses to try to get her back on one......she was up at his farm fighting the bushfires and saved his house last year....she is as active and motivated to do all things she has always done....had a bypass a couple of years ago...she said she felt 10 years younger,,,and has been acting 20 years younger....alive and loving her full and active life....
oh and she is a happy person

 

[Boyou]

"It seemed to her that all of life was simply diminution and loss, the paring away by degrees of what had seemed necessary, the learning to do without."


Julia,this quote echoes my recollection of the Serenity Prayer.

"Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference."

Not so much the key to happiness,but a clue to the sate of mind we might need to realise it.. (?)

 

[trillionaire#1]

i think some people writing on this thread have experienced the resulting
emotions of poverty ,low self asteem and an inability to call the shots based on financial freedom (not huge wealth)
on their day to day activities for a period of time ,one or two just like
making overconfident claims of maturity and understanding..

 

[Mr J]

i think some people writing on this thread have experienced the resulting
emotions of poverty ,low self asteem and an inability to call the shots based on financial freedom (not huge wealth)
on their day to day activities for a period of time ,one or two just like
making overconfident claims of maturity and understanding..

A little negative for this thread. You have hurt my happy.