The Exceptional Happiness Ideas and Thinking Thread

[Tink]

Trembling Hand - I think what UB is getting at is that sometimes some people have to hit that wall before they change their thinking..

I could be wrong..

 

[kincella]

I am generally a happy positive person....am rarely unhappy...so news that Peter Costello returns to lead the Liberals would make me feel very happy.....
I don't know about the exceptional bit....

 

[tech/a]

Ideas

Help someone spontaneously.
Suprise your partner/friends/kids
Be selfish with yourself.
Come to terms with who you are.

 

[wayneL]

Uncle Barry,

You've introduced a bunch of extraneous conditions.

I never mentioned gardens, cigarettes or booze.

 

[nomore4s]

Lots of idealistic views in this thread which in reality are a bit unrealistic imo. The fact is we live in a totally different world to the one pre 1960's/70's.

While being rich/wealthly isn't required to bring happiness a certain level of wealth is optimal to help bring happiness imo, even if it is only to aid in peace of mind and the ability to care for and look after the things in life that are really important to us - eg family & friends, pets etc.

Having a certain level of wealth can also ease the stresses of modern life, not having to worry about bills, providing for family, being able to take holidays, being able to pursue hobbies etc, etc.

In short the advantage of a certain level of wealth is that it can help provide a balance in your life which will in turn bring a level of happiness. This is also why alot of super rich people aren't happy or it takes them a long time to find it imo - they don't have the balance right due to the excessive wealth they have the the excesses this causes in parts of their life.

I'm not saying money is the only catalyst to happiness but imo it can help.

 

[Trevor_S]

To be honest i could piss the home/cars and every other toy i had off and move into the bush/ live like a hobbit and be as happy as larry for the rest of my life.

LOL.. I tried to buy 10 hectares with a small house on it up in the "remote" hills behind Ingham recently, the other wannabe hermits out there beat me to it I had every intention of moving their permanently, only returning to town to visit the library to stock up on books and some perishables once a month... never mind

I am at my happiest when engaged in activities I enjoy, in the outdoors and by myself. I can't being to understand "people" and every time I do, I am more confused and disgusted then before (some individuals I feel a deep kinship with though)

I was quite interested to see the number of people that stated in hear their happiness is tied up in their family and friends, seems quite alien to me.

 

[Julia]

Hi,
"I'd suggest it's a bit stressful to have bailiffs kicking down your door and turfing you out in the street, or unable to buy food etc."

Lets look at these two claims one by one,
I'd suggest it's a bit stressful to have bailiffs kicking down your door and turfing you out in the street,

Of course it would be,
However the subject matter was happiness, AND NOTHING what so ever about stress.

Uncle Barry, if you use the QUOTE tags your posts will be much easier to understand.
I don't want to speak for Wayne, but presumably he was suggesting it would be a less than happy situation if you were being turfed out of your house.

But to add,
it could be a happy moment, as at long last the problem has reached a climax and then its time to move on with one's life.

No. To be forced to do anything is not the source of happiness.
If it's time to make a decision and move out, better to do it voluntarily.

unable to buy food etc
I love that claim !
How many times I've seen people drinking, smoking and pouring money into poker machines and claim they have very little money for food. b/s..sorry.

How many times have I looked around houses where they don't have a garden to grown wonderful fresh chemical free food, but are drinking, smoking and pouring money into poker machines.

Gardens cost nothing, except time and love of the Earth and the bountry it can produce before your very eyes, time and time again, therefore there are NO excuess for not having a garden, even in a couple of old plastic buckets.

These same people wouldn't go fishing, to feed their families but are drinking, smoking and pouring money into poker machines.

This is a gross over-simplification and generalisation. It's actually an insult to the thousands of decent people who have lost their jobs and are struggling on the unemployment benefit. e.g. if you get around $200 ish a week and rent on a very basic 1brm flat is $250, how are you going to manage?

And to suggest that everyone who hasn't enough to buy food is wasting what funds they do have on drinking, smoking and poker machines is again insulting and ridiculous.
I've known many situations where people are poor for no such reason.
When I was poor myself I didn't do any of those things

Of course some people do this, but by no means the majority.

And the whole happiness "thing" is BS. Happiness is not the default human condition. Life is a struggle, embrace it.

Your thinking is in line with that of Henry Thoreau who said:
"Most Men lead lives of quiet desperation".
I'd say that's more true than most of us would think.

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs model can be helpful in working out how achieve happiness. It might also be of use on this current debate about the importance of money to happiness. (BTW, I am no expert on any of this, just that Maslow's model makes sense to me).

Maslow's hierarchy of needs

Agree. And let's note that Maslow makes security of employment, property etc as second on the list of needs, after breathing, food et al.

FFS

you have to be kidding!!!

Pretty much what I thought.

 

[Mr J]

Peace and laughter for me. I'm always laughing at something - usually myself - and I can't imagine a world without laughter. Peace? Peaceful surroundings, but I'm referring more to inner peace. For me it means accepting both the good and the bad, shrugging off the bad, trying to look at things objectively and enjoying the moment.

Wealth doesn't factor in so much, at least not in a financial sense, and as long as I'm doing something I enjoy. Trading I enjoy, as it gives me what I value most - time. Time to think, time to laugh, time to enjoy, time to learn. I believe it's my time that allows me maintain a positive frame of mind. I'm time-wealthy, and that keeps me happy.

 

[kincella]

nomore4s...I agree with you....
there were times in my life when the money was a bit short....but it never stopped me from being happy...
in fact I tend to stay away from unhappy people if I can...or reduce the amount of time I spend with them....

I have no wish to be extremely wealthy, however I worked hard to achieve a certain level, in order to look after my extended family......

I think some people choose to be unhappy.....whereas I choose to be happy...

I have a brother, a pessimist...he seems to prefer to be unhappy....no matter what good...happy news he has, or hears, or happens to him....he almost always counters it with an unhappy thought, or response...as if to remind himself he should be unhappy

oh and I was reminding my daughter this morning...about how the dog drags me down the stairs....she pulls so hard against the harness, that she stands up and walks on her hindlegs.......that made my daughter laugh...was that funny or feeling happy......
oh and I am happy that I was born in this country...and not in some war torn dictator regime....

 

[bowman]

Humans are about as disconnected from nature (and each other?) as they have ever been. Ultimately I don't think that's a road that leads to happiness.

I am emotionally most contented when I am gardening (ornamental and vegies) and preparing food - that's my primary nature connection.

On the other hand trading is my mental stimulation and financial source (my bloody sprouted grain bread costs $7 a loaf ), but that activity brings in the conflict of being a part of the whole unsustainable growth thing, that capitalism and consumerism seem to be built on.

Happiness is fleeting, sometimes I am contented, but mostly I am conflicted.

 

[Tink]

Peace and laughter for me. I'm always laughing at something - usually myself - and I can't imagine a world without laughter. Peace? Peaceful surroundings, but I'm referring more to inner peace. For me it means accepting both the good and the bad, trying to look at things objectively and enjoying the moment

Here too Mr J - good post : )

 

[Uncle Barry]

Dear Julia,
I seem to have upset you,

"unemployment benefit. e.g. if you get around $200 ish a week and rent on a very basic 1brm flat is $250, how are you going to manage?"

EASY my dear, you move to a cheaper place to live !
AND you grow food in buckets !
AND go fishing to feed your family !

How did I know.
Because I have been there done that.
(And thats the end of the subject, for me )

"And to suggest that everyone who hasn't enough to buy food is wasting what funds they do have on drinking, smoking and poker machines is again insulting and ridiculous".

My Dear read what you want to read and not what I wrote.
I did NOT WRITE "EVERYONE."

"insulting and ridiculous"
My Dear that is only in YOUR mind.

Myself to try and help others less well off by suggesting that start to grow their own chemical free food is a wonderful thing
To stop spending on useless items like Smokes, Drinks and Poker Machines would save that person money.
This money could buy food, rent and a better life style.

And to suggest people less well off STOP spending on Drinks, Smokes and Poker Machines just might help someone, which would allow these same people to have basic food of a better standard or level of freshness, and turn their energy into a garden which could produce fresh food which inturn could allow these same people to have a body just a bit more healthy, is a wonderful thing, to me, BUT YOU called me "insulting and ridiculous".

EVEN if it helps one person, then to me, what I write and tell others in my life, is a wonderful thing.

I find is extremely sad, almost sick, when someone would suggest or imply that stopping smoking, drinking and or playing poker machines is, in your words "insulting and ridiculous" as this could, or maybe would produce a better life for another human, if they stopped the above AND changed their ways.

Enough of me, as its time to work, as we walk different lifes and have different ideas about helping others on this place called Earth I will leave the thread to you Julia and wish you well in the future.
Thank you for your clear very thoughts and ideas.
Kind regards,
UB

 

[tech/a]

I'm always laughing at something - usually myself

Yeh me too! (my sence of humor).

Julia.
You go girl!

Trevor.
On the level of most humans are a waste of space and resources I agree with you.
If you have good friends and family they will bring you much happiness.--and some grief along the way!

 

[johenmo]

Some of the most content people I have met haven't been wealthy - financially comfortable, yes - wealthy (in my mind), no.

These seem to want what they have, not want to have what they want. And family does figure large.

Being healthy, financially OK and having good family/friend networks are the primary "bases" of contentment IMO.

And if you aren't there, then most people have to make the effort to get there. Not sit & fell sorry.

And if you can't laugh at yourself, you're missing the best joke of all.....

 

[Mr J]

These seem to want what they have

That has been true in my experience as well, as materialistic people always seem to worry about getting the latest thing, about who has it and whether their's is better than people they know. Personally, I'm satisfied with what I have, don't need what I don't have (or can't afford!), and if I do get it then it is a bonus.

Yeh me too! (my sence of humor).

I actually laugh when people agree with me (as if I don't expect them to).

Being healthy, financially OK and having good family/friend networks are the primary "bases" of contentment IMO.

I had an accident a couple of years back, and that kind of experience really does make one appreciate health. I think a lot of happiness can be found in appreciating the little things that we all take for granted - the sunrise and sunset, a nice gentle breeze, family and friends, a pretty young thing walking down the street . If I go for a walk, I'll have a smile on my face as it's all completely amazing and interesting to me. I don't know when the world became like this for me, but I like it.

 

[nunthewiser]

too many bloody hippies in these forums these days

 

[kincella]

some good jokes or just laughing should make you feel happier.....
last christmas I hired some very old Abbott and Costello movies for the grand kids staying with me....and Jack Nicholsons...One flew over the cuckoos nest,
I was looking for Red Skelton..but did not find his...Benny Hill was a bit too risque....Steptoe and sons......

we all laughed and laughed until our sides hurt...tears streaming.....

heres a bit of Red's best.....

Red Skelton’s recipe for the perfect marriage
A well-known routine of Red Skelton’s.

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little beverage, good food and companionship. She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
I take my wife everywhere..... but she keeps finding her way back.
I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
She has an electric blender, electric toaster and electric bread maker. She said “There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!” So I bought her an electric chair.
My wife told me the car wasn’t running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was; she told me “In the lake.”
She got a mud pack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling “Am I too late for the garbage?” .... The driver said “No, jump in!”
Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.
I haven’t spoken to my wife in 18 months. I don’t like to interrupt her.
The last fight was my fault though! My wife asked “What’s on the TV?” I said “Dust!”

http://www.clown-ministry.com/index...ipe_for_the_perfect_marriage/#ixzz0JyIQXteE&D

 

[kincella]

your annual dementia test

it's that time of year to take our annual senior citizen test. Fail this test and you are not only a senior citizens, you are well into geezerhood, hehehe!

Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important to keep mentally alert. If you don't use it, you lose it! The test below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence.
Take the test presented here to determine if you're losing it or not. Do not peek at the answer until you've already answered the question. OK, relax, clear your mind and begin.
Q1. What do you put in a toaster?







A1. Bread. If you said "toast", give up now and do something else ... like knit or whittle. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said "bread", go to Question 2.


Q2. Say "silk" five times. Now spell "silk". What do cows drink?
A2. Cows drink water. If you said "milk", don't attempt
the next question. Your brain is over-stressed and may even overheat. Content yourself with reading a more appropriate literature, such as Auto World. However, if you said "water", proceed to Question 3.


Q3. If a red house is made from red bricks and a blue house is made from blue bricks and a pink house is made from pink bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?
A3. Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said "green bricks", why the hell are still reading these?!! If you said "glass", go on to Question 4.


Q. 4. It's twenty years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (If you will recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany). Anyway, during the flight two engines fail. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately, he fails before he can do so and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? East Germany, West Germany? Or no man's land?



A4. You don't bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you're a dunce and you must stop. If you said, "You don't bury survivors", proceed to the next questions.




Q5. Without using a calculator - You are driving a bus from London to MilfordHaven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In reading, six people get off the bus and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?




A5. Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember your own name? It was YOU!!
Now pass this on to your friends and pray they do better than you.




P.S. 95% of people fail most of the questions! Hey, at least you're in the majority, hehehe!

 

[bowman]

too many bloody hippies in these forums these days

When in Rome....... that's my excuse anyway. That, plus the growing realisation that I am only x number of sleeps away from worm food.

 

[awg]

Here is what sits at the apex of Maslows hierarchy

Self-transcendence

Near the end of his life Maslow revealed that there was a level on the hierarchy that was above self-actualization: self-transcendence[7]. "[Transcenders] may be said to be much more often aware of the realm of Being (B-realm and B-cognition), to be living at the level of Being… to have unitive consciousness and “plateau experience” (serene and contemplative B-cognitions rather than climactic ones) … and to have or to have had peak experience (mystic, sacral, ecstatic) with illuminations or insights. Analysis of reality or cognitions which changed their view of the world and of themselves, perhaps occasionally, perhaps as a usual thing."[8] Maslow later did a study on 12 people he believed possessed the qualities of Self-transcendence. Many of the qualities were guilt for the misfortune of someone close, creativity, humility, intelligence, and divergent thinking. They were mainly loners, had deep relationships, and were very normal on the outside. Maslow estimated that only 2% of the population will ever achieve this level of the hierarchy in their lifetime, and that it was absolutely impossible for a child to possess these traits.


Sorry about the long wiki excerpt, its an area of interest for me.

If you have ever wondered about the tradition in many world religions, especially Hinduism & Buddhism, but also Islam and Christianity for people to forgo material comfort for some other quest, this gives some clues.

fwiw, most all the very wealthy persons I have met, are very driven, which is not overly compatible with contentment.

Some of the seemingly most contented had little money. ( also lacked drive)

for instance, many people I know could not give a stuff about the GFC, cause they have not lost any money,( they had none), most wealthy people are "unhappy" about drawdown.

There is a plethora of material about increasing your happiness quotient, some of it is quite useful, as IMO, genetic predisposition towards various characteristics is strong, one needs to become self-aware and train oneself to more productive methods of thinking if this is the case, or a difficult upbringing has been experienced ( the two are often linked).

I agree with Julia's comments re contentment vs happiness.

Disclaimer, I enjoy money and comfort, too much maybe.

It costs many $ to support a family and they dont want to hear **** about being happy with less