# Critically Ill Family



## explod (21 February 2013)

I have kept this to myself for a few days but just thought others may have experience in helping family to cope with a dreadful tragedy.

Yaan, my Step Grandson is 24 years and after work last Tuesday whilst riding his motor cycle was hit by a car, ran over his head according to reports and has been in a coma since at Royal Perth Hospital.

He excelled at school, could have gone to uni but chose the Navy,  Recently he went back to civilian life and working very successfully as an engineer in hydrolics in support of a mining company.  He has been saving silver 1966 rounds for many years too so probably headed for ASF one day.  His Mum and Dad split some 12 years back so have been his mentor a bit.  Ran him to army cadets for a number of years whilst he was at school adn all the other things one does when you are working with the talent for our Aussie future.

However this evening after talking to his Mum on an update I have broken down and just do not know what to do.  Yeh the cold hard plod.  But Family is very different.

Funny I love ASF as it helped me to survive the ordeals of prostate cancer and an attempted suicied some 5 years back.

But what can we do about young Yaan, who is so bright and optimistic that everyone just loved him and you all would too.


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## tech/a (21 February 2013)

While he's in a coma all you can do is be the strength for 
Those around him.Supportive of his medical team and 
Become involved --- in his rehabilitation if that's your wish.

It's going to e a long road and early preparation will be
Best for you and him. Get up to speed with what to expect 
And get involved in support groups which are common to
His expected rehab.

From there it will be clearer what it is that you'll need to
Do.

All strength to you---people with such compassion are rare.
He is very lucky to have you around.


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## explod (21 February 2013)

Cannot thank you enough for those words tech you are always a diamond


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## howmanyru (21 February 2013)

Sorry to hear about this explod,

I ride a motorbike and know the dangers well.
It is a risk motorcyclists are prepared to take for the fun and freedom it offers.
I always think that if i have a bad accident, at least i lived my life and did what i wanted.

Doesn't seem like there is much anyone can do for him at the moment, maybe pray if that's your inclination.
He will be taken care of in the hospital.
So maybe just look after yourself in this time of distress, and suggest other family members do the same.
Get the support you all need, talk to who you can, lean on a friend, etc.

This must of been a difficult post for you, good on you for sharing.
All the best.


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## Garpal Gumnut (21 February 2013)

Just hang in there plod, and pray.

There is not a person reading your post tonight who will not have Yaan, you and your daughter and family, in their thoughts and prayers.

gg


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## explod (21 February 2013)

Thank you howmanyru and GG,

Yeh have been in denial about it but letting it in and sharing is certainly a big help.  Thank you very much for insights and will keep you all updated.


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## CanOz (21 February 2013)

Explod, 

I echo everyone comments...

You're in my thoughts mate.

CanOz


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## Julia (21 February 2013)

Explod, your obvious love and caring will have its effect.
I can't think of anything useful to say, but please know how much I'm thinking of you and all your family.
Julia


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## sails (21 February 2013)

Explod, it is so tough when our families are hurt like this and the feeling of helplessness is so very real.  I can only wish you much strength as you give your love and support in this situation.  Thank you for sharing - it helps to bring the human side to otherwise faceless people on a forum such as this.

All the best - thoughts and prayers are with Yaan and the family...


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## Logique (22 February 2013)

Sorry to hear it mate. Just keep chipping away, one day after another.


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## Tink (22 February 2013)

I am so sorry to hear about your grandson, explod.
He is in our thoughts and we are sending him all our prayers
Wishing all your family strength at this hard time
take care


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## 5oclock (22 February 2013)

EXPLOD, our thoughts are with you and our hearts go out to you, all the best.


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## explod (22 February 2013)

First I would like to thank you all for the comments of concern and support.

Yaan has been moved from the very critical area but life support and the induced coma will be maintained for some time.  

I spoke to his elder Brother at some length last night, he has both his Brothers and Parents at his side.  

From the accident to the hospital there was a considerable period when no oxygen was getting to the brain, blood cut off.  He has lung damage and other small bits, bp was initially very low, but it will be the level of cognition when he wakes that will be of concern.  To aid heeling his body has been slowed right down with a new procedure, only used a couple of times at Perth, it is a cooling blanket wrapped around which apparently takes load off his circulatory system.  Others may know more.

Will keep you updated and again thank you for having Yaan in your thoughts.


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## Tink (22 February 2013)

Well glad to hear he has moved from critical care, explod, would still be a long road for him though.
Agree sails, sharing these things makes us realise how fragile life can be.

Mods - why is this in stock chat?


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## Joe Blow (22 February 2013)

Tink said:


> Mods - why is this in stock chat?




Just moved it across to General Chat now.

Explod, am very sorry to hear about what happened to your step grandson. Like others here I am hoping that his condition improves and that, in time, he will recover.

Stay strong and do your best support those around you that need it. You and Yaan are in my thoughts mate!

Keep us updated.


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## dutchie (22 February 2013)

Full support from all at ASF to Yaan, his family and friends.

Keep your chin up explod.


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## Gringotts Bank (22 February 2013)

explod, it's a strange thing, but sometimes even in the midst of great anguish, if you can just allow yourself feel what it is you feel (and not struggle against it), a peace and spaciousness can open up and afford you great comfort.  It's like a feeling that everything is ok, even when it seems otherwise.  Would certainly help to have the support seen here on ASF - some nice comments.


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## explod (22 February 2013)

Gringotts Bank said:


> explod, it's a strange thing, but sometimes even in the midst of great anguish, if you can just allow yourself feel what it is you feel (and not struggle against it), a peace and spaciousness can open up and afford you great comfort.  It's like a feeling that everything is ok, even when it seems otherwise.  Would certainly help to have the support seen here on ASF - some nice comments.




Not picking on you GB, I could quote everyone, the feelings of support from you all is making a huge difference.
And you make a good point and can feel that these feelings by you all are passed on in someway to help Yaan.

Thank you.


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## Miss Hale (22 February 2013)

My thoughts are with you explod, you and your family are going through a tough time right now.  Just hang in there and know that we are all thinking about you and wishing you the best and gradulally things will improve


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## medicowallet (22 February 2013)

Stay strong Explod.

My thoughts and prayers are with this fine sounding young man you are fortunate enough to care for.

All the best
MW


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## MrBurns (22 February 2013)

Xplod very sorry to read about this terrible situation
Remember he's in a coma and plenty of people recover from there, he still needs you to be strong 
Be his rock 
You're a caring person and he's lucky to have you


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## MrBurns (22 February 2013)

Explod sorry re spelling am on iPhone


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## Calliope (22 February 2013)

I know it's all been said explod, but everything you have previously posted, shows you are a very caring person. Those who have this quality quite often have a feeling of helplessness in a situation like this. If our thoughts are a help to cheer you a little, then give us smile.


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## drsmith (22 February 2013)

explod said:


> I have kept this to myself for a few days but just thought others may have experience in helping family to cope with a dreadful tragedy.



My thoughts and best wishes are with you and your family at this difficult time.


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## explod (22 February 2013)

Calliope said:


> I know it's all been said explod, but everything you have previously posted, shows you are a very caring person. Those who have this quality quite often have a feeling of helplessness in a situation like this. If our thoughts are a help to cheer you a little, then give us smile.




Thank you so much Calliope 

And all of you, have always loved ASF but this sheets it home.

Latest is: tomorrow they intend to reduce cooling and see how he responds.  Elder Brother related to me an hour ago that to him his colour is looking better.

Again thank you all so much.


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## Smurf1976 (22 February 2013)

I really don't know what to say, I'm not good with this sort of thing, but best wishes and I hope it all turns out OK in due course.

Never, ever give up hope.


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## Knobby22 (22 February 2013)

I hope everything turns out reasonably. You are a good bloke Explod.


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## IFocus (22 February 2013)

Explod terrible news, but there is always hope  friends son was hit by a MTT bus on his moped coma, brain damage etc  just got out of hospital after 6 months still a long road and life will never be the same but he continues to make progress.

In WA I know they have excellent care and experience in such situations and I am sure in is in the best hands, all the best


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## DocK (23 February 2013)

All the best Explod.  Try to look after yourself as much as possible (eat & sleep as well as you can) so that you can continue to be a support for your family - it seems that helping others, helps you cope as well.   Hope all goes well for Yaan.


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## explod (24 February 2013)

From Yaan's Mum this morning, "...he's improving little by little bit"

We can feel better that he does look like he will survive now.   The question is his cognitive situation as it unfolds.

Thanks for the kind thoughts from Smurf, Knobby, Ifocus and Dock since my last post.

And thank you Tink from the smile thread.   We have a special human side at ASF when the chips are down.

I would also like to acknowledge a special PM from Joe, of the the admin, with helpful counsel.

Again thank you all.


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## basilio (24 February 2013)

Hi mate

So so sorry to hear about your grandson .

Just realised this thread was yours.

Take care

Bas


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## sails (24 February 2013)

explod said:


> From Yaan's Mum this morning, "...he's improving little by little bit"
> 
> We can feel better that he does look like he will survive now.   The question is his cognitive situation as it unfolds.
> 
> ...




Good to hear there has been a little improvement, Explod...

It's one thing to have disagreements and some high spirited banter here at ASF but when it comes to family's health, and especially serious ones like this, this disagreements are put aside.  I can only continue to wish Yaan the very best in his recovery and will continue to keep your family in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Julia (24 February 2013)

sails said:


> Good to hear there has been a little improvement, Explod...
> 
> It's one thing to have disagreements and some high spirited banter here at ASF but when it comes to family's health, and especially serious ones like this, this disagreements are put aside.  I can only continue to wish Yaan the very best in his recovery and will continue to keep your family in my thoughts



+1.  Thinking of you, explod.


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## Duckman#72 (24 February 2013)

My thoughts are very much with you and your family.

You need to be aware of the emotional rollercoaster your family will be experiencing over the coming months. Every minor piece of good news can send you sky high, just as every bad piece of news has the ability to send your spirits plummeting. All you can do is be aware of this and just do the best you can for your loved ones. 

Duckman


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## tinhat (24 February 2013)

explod your inbox is full.

Regards.


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## pilots (25 February 2013)

All the best Explod, hope it all turns out OK.


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## explod (26 February 2013)

Since the last update our grateful thanks to, basilio, sails, Julia, Duckman#72, tinhat (and your p/m too t.h.) and pilots.

From Yaan's Dad this morning;  only real change is that blanket has been removed which caused temperature to rise to 39, they are not too worried with that, indicates probably some infection in a lung that was damaged.

They are not able to speculate on damage, if any, to the brain at this time.   If all continues as it is going now they will bring him to consciousness by the end of this week when further scans will be performed.

Again we thank you all for you kind thoughts for Yaan and his future.  

Explod


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## CanOz (26 February 2013)

Great to hear that there is some improvement Explod...i really hope he recovers...we're all hoping!

CanOz


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## Happy (26 February 2013)

So sorry to see your family to sufer.

There are few possible outcomes and we all hope for the best one.

Often time is passing so slowly, that it is getting harder and harder to wait.
Be strong and take one day at a time.

My thoughts are with you, your grand son and your family


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## gav (26 February 2013)

I'm so sorry to hear this Xplod. Thinking of you and your family...


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## qldfrog (27 February 2013)

Explod,
Just noticed your thread.
I am very bad at cheering up people but a former colleague suffered a terrible motorbike accident and was basically reduced to pulp.Most surgeons gave up at triage  but luckily one decided to give him a chance and while my scientific side believed at the time it was just hopeless, I was proved wrong: 
3 years down the track, this colleague is walking, laughting and enjoying life as much as can be.
Some talked of miracles, I just believe it is the result of a strong will and good physical strenght of the patient coupled with top medical facilities and expertises here in Brisbane.
Don't take me wrong, still a lot of pain and issues are endured, and it is a never ending rehabilitation effort but really, NEVER give up hope, even if your rational side is tempted to.
All the best


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## explod (27 February 2013)

Yaan opened his eyes for a short time today and acknowledged the nurse with a look then back to sleep.  A lot of very misty eyes.

Thank you CanOz, Happy, gav and qldfrog for your comments, kind words and support.


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## Garpal Gumnut (27 February 2013)

Good news plod.

Let's hope for more improvement.

gg


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## Joe Blow (27 February 2013)

explod said:


> Yaan opened his eyes for a short time today and acknowledged the nurse with a look then back to sleep.  A lot of very misty eyes.
> 
> Thank you CanOz, Happy, gav and qldfrog for your comments, kind words and support.




That's wonderful news explod! Hopefully his recovery will improve even more in the days to come.


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## sptrawler (27 February 2013)

At last good news explod. 
It is hard for people to understand the anguish, tears and helplessness unless you've been through it.
Keep your chin up mate, he will probably need you more than ever when he comes out of hospital.


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## MrBurns (27 February 2013)

Yes thats very encouraging explod.
Small steps forward are so important, stay strong...


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## Tink (27 February 2013)

Thats excellent news, explod, how wonderful 
Hoping for more improvement daily.


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## Julia (27 February 2013)

Glad to hear it, explod.  I expect to all of you who are waiting anxiously, it must seem like a small step, but it's in the right direction.  Hoping it continues in such a positive way.


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## basilio (28 February 2013)

That sounds positive Explod. Really hope Yaan continues to improve.

I agree with Qfrog. I can think of a significant number of people who have managed to recover well from very difficult situations. 
Lets pray...


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## explod (2 March 2013)

Sorry I have been offline for some days.

My computer got all mixed up with skybots and anti spy wear (Norton and AVG hate each other I have just found  Lol,) and crashed.  Put it in dock at a U3a worshop Thursday not realising that it will not be open again till next Wednesday so find myself at the local library at this time.  They do very good job at low cost.

Yaan is now fully awake, very exhausted but recovering.  We are so very lucky.  His voice is still effected by the damage to throat, lungs and of course tubes down the throat.   Not bedside myself of course as I have my own issues in not being able to make the trip, but well informed that things are over the worst, he is still confused but expect that will have cleared when I am in touch later today.

Thank you for all the posts of encouragement above.

Explod


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## MrBurns (2 March 2013)

Thats great news, he's coming good


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## Miss Hale (2 March 2013)

Great to hear Yaan is recovering well explod   Reading that is definitely something that made me smile today


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## dutchie (2 March 2013)

MrBurns said:


> Thats great news, he's coming good




+1


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## Garpal Gumnut (2 March 2013)

Great news, plod.

gg


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## Tink (3 March 2013)

Thats wonderful news explod 

_ ~~the wonders of the power of prayer_ 

stay safe


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## chops_a_must (3 March 2013)

Extremely happy for you explod.

I hope he continues to improve.


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## basilio (3 March 2013)

Tink said:


> Thats wonderful news explod
> 
> _ ~~the wonders of the power of prayer_
> 
> stay safe




Plus 1.  Keep praying and saying thank you.

Cheers


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## explod (5 March 2013)

Yaan is going to make a full recovery according to neurologist taking car of him.

I could never thank you all enough for your thoughts and prayers.  There is no doubt in my mind that collective spiritual and positive thinking plays a big part in our lives.

Last night sat up in an chair and feeding himself, stiil very exhausted and speech not yet clear but cognition was the worry.  

Still working from Library computer so this note is short.  Should be back in full swing by Friday.

Love you all here on ASF, 

Explod


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## basilio (5 March 2013)

explod said:


> Yaan is going to make a full recovery according to neurologist taking car of him.
> 
> I could never thank you all enough for your thoughts and prayers.  There is no doubt in my mind that collective spiritual and positive thinking plays a big part in our lives.
> 
> ...



*
EXCELLENT!!!*


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## Miss Hale (5 March 2013)

explod said:


> Yaan is going to make a full recovery according to neurologist taking car of him.
> 
> I could never thank you all enough for your thoughts and prayers.  There is no doubt in my mind that collective spiritual and positive thinking plays a big part in our lives.
> 
> ...




Great news explod


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## dutchie (5 March 2013)

basilio said:


> *
> EXCELLENT!!!*




Awesome!


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## wayneL (5 March 2013)

That must be a huge relief Mr Plod.

This thread should serve as a reminder (especially to moi :- 0 ) to be a bit gentler to each other. You never know what is happening in someones life bhind the screen persona.


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## Logique (5 March 2013)

explod said:


> Yaan is going to make a full recovery according to neurologist taking car of him.
> I could never thank you all enough for your thoughts and prayers.  There is no doubt in my mind that collective spiritual and positive thinking plays a big part in our lives....Explod



Cheers mate, full recovery, that's good to hear.


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## Joe Blow (5 March 2013)

explod said:


> Yaan is going to make a full recovery according to neurologist taking car of him.
> 
> I could never thank you all enough for your thoughts and prayers.  There is no doubt in my mind that collective spiritual and positive thinking plays a big part in our lives.
> 
> ...




That's wonderful news explod! Am so happy for you and Yaan's other loved ones. Glad this story had a happy ending!


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## MrBurns (5 March 2013)

Joe Blow said:


> That's wonderful news explod! Am so happy for you and Yaan's other loved ones. Glad this story had a happy ending!




+1


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## Julia (5 March 2013)

wayneL said:


> That must be a huge relief Mr Plod.
> 
> This thread should serve as a reminder (especially to moi :- 0 ) to be a bit gentler to each other. You never know what is happening in someones life bhind the screen persona.



+1.
So pleased, Explod.


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## Knobby22 (5 March 2013)

Great news. Such a relief.


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## Garpal Gumnut (5 March 2013)

Great news plod.

I am so pleased for Yaan, you and the family.

Can we get back to paying you out soon?

Seriously though, you must be exhausted. Look after yourself.

gg


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## Tink (5 March 2013)

Excellent news explod  
Agree Wayne, very true.


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## CanOz (5 March 2013)

explod said:


> Yaan is going to make a full recovery according to neurologist taking car of him.
> 
> I could never thank you all enough for your thoughts and prayers.  There is no doubt in my mind that collective spiritual and positive thinking plays a big part in our lives.
> 
> ...




Wow, that's just amazing!! Great news!!


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## inyaface (5 March 2013)

CanOz said:


> Wow, that's just amazing!! Great news!!




I read it from the first post and its such a challenge, but good result of this great news!


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## explod (6 March 2013)

I have been truly overwhelmed by the support thoughts and prayers of fellow ASF community members.

Yaan, albeit slowly, continues to improve.  Other Family arrived at his side yesterday and he recognized them immediately.

His speech and memory is improving at a good pace.  He is not ambulant yet and is suffering from bad vertigo so is preferring to lay flat.  It is going to be a slow process but from a real horror he is going to survive and continue to be the wonderful lad that is a part of what we need for our wonderful nation.

An occurrence from left field has been the way in which we have, in this thread, pulled together as a unit for a single cause.  Debate and disagreement is what builds a better place and when I think about it in that way, realize and have learned, that we cannot afford to isolate (or personally attack) any hands feeding our deliberations.  We need each other.

Thank you all.


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