# Poor Mitchell Johnson



## Sean K (8 July 2009)

Oh dear, poor Mitchell Johnson has not stayed under mummy's roof since he got together with his little Jessica. She must be such a cow.

This is National news, mind you.

How sad, for Mitch, his mum, and the country.



Don't worry Mrs 'H', I bet his team mates are right behind him in England, holding his hand for him, making sure he's OK, and telling him he should spend more time with you instead of this tramp that has come between you. 

And yes, parents should be flown to games to make sure their little boys are all tucked in each night. 

Oh dear.


*Cricket mum attacks 'bitchy' WAG*
Wed Jul 8 20092 hours 26 minutes ago

on ninemsn

Aussie fast bowler Mitchell Johnson's mother has launched an extraordinary attack on her son's "bitchy" fiancÃ©e, accusing her of "stealing" him. 

One the eve of the Ashes series in England, Vikki Harber also slammed Cricket Australia for flying players' girlfriends to overseas games instead of parents. 

Ms Harber told the Herald Sun she used to have a close relationship with her son before his karate champ fiancÃ©e Jessica Bratich started going out with him. 

"Up until he met Jessica we were very close . . . but he hasn't spent a night under my roof since he met Jessica," the newspaper quoted Ms Harber as saying.


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## moXJO (8 July 2009)

kennas said:


> Oh dear, poor Mitchell Johnson has not stayed under mummy's roof since he got together with his little Jessica. She must be such a cow.
> 
> This is National news, mind you.
> 
> ...





A Mum that does not like a girlfriend now thats a first


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## Sean K (8 July 2009)

moXJO said:


> A Mum that does not like a girlfriend now thats a first



My mum contacted the Herald Sun about my first girlfriend making me go out and have fun, and stuff, but they didn't think it was a headline at the time.


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## Dukey (8 July 2009)

someone needs to give her the bad news ...
- the harder she clings - the further he'll run !!
I know I would.


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## moXJO (8 July 2009)

kennas said:


> My mum contacted the Herald Sun about my first girlfriend making me go out and have fun, and stuff, but they didn't think it was a headline at the time.




LOL, There was another news item about Ramsey's restaurant cooking a steak to the customers well done order a little to well done(interview and all with him). Does anything pass for news these days They must have trouble filling out online news sites


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## Timmy (8 July 2009)

OK - so I had to Google Jessica Bratich ... maybe I am out of touch.

Anyways, I can feel another Jodi Gordon thread coming on.  Thanks very much Kennas


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## justjohn (8 July 2009)

OK we have heard what mum has said but what would his dad say?.If i was Mitch's dad there is only 1 comment ''GO FOR IT SON'':


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## Calliope (8 July 2009)

The other blond trophy WAGs will take her apart, especially since she managed to  beat them all at baring the most skin at the Allan Border Medal presentation.


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## Sean K (8 July 2009)

She's either wearing the Andean, or Gay Pride flag there. 

What was she thinking? 

Probably what Nathan Buckley's girlfriend was with that thong.


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## Prospector (8 July 2009)

Oh dear, someone had better tell mummy her son grew up.  Quite sad really, obviously when the marriage split happened she made Mitchell her life and now she doesnt want to let go.  And expects the ACB to fly her around the world.  Sheesh.   What exactly does she expect this tirade to achieve?

But on the other hand, a bit of a fashion talk might help Jess.


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## Dukey (8 July 2009)

_Quite amusing sig. Timmy_



> The contents of this post were tested, ruthlessly, on small, cute, furry animals. Most of them were fatally harmed. Hence, if this post causes irritation, please discontinue reading immediately



I always wanted to market a product marked....

" if death occurs, discontinue use"

or maybe a T shirt?

[edit: dunno why it came up in that scroll window thing???]


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## white_crane (8 July 2009)

justjohn said:


> OK we have heard what mum has said but what would his dad say?.If i was Mitch's dad there is only 1 comment ''GO FOR IT SON'':



According to the Townsville Bulletin, his dad thinks it is great.

And so do I.  After all, who _wouldn't_ want to spend more time with Jessica Bratich?  HOT! :evilburn:



Calliope said:


> The other blond trophy WAGs will take her apart, especially since she managed to  beat them all at baring the most skin at the Allan Border Medal presentation.



Hardly likely - she has a black belt in karate and has been national champion since about 14.


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## nunthewiser (9 July 2009)

> Aussie mothers breeding 'mummies’ boys'
> 
> 8th July 2009, 13:00 WST
> Australian mothers are breeding a generation of “mummies’ boys", new data reveals.
> ...




mama knows best


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## Timmy (9 July 2009)

Prospector said:


> But on the other hand, a bit of a fashion talk might help Jess.




Prospector.  I had a quick look at the photo and I can't see a problem?
I will look more closely, though, and report back. :



white_crane said:


> Hardly likely - she has a black belt in karate and has been national champion since about 14.




That's pretty cool - good on her.


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## Mr J (9 July 2009)

white_crane said:


> And so do I.  After all, who _wouldn't_ want to spend more time with Jessica Bratich?  HOT! :evilburn:




Eh, I'm not too fussed. Good looking girl, but there are thousands and thousands and thousands of them in this city.




> Hardly likely - she has a black belt in karate and has been national champion since about 14.




If it's the typical kind of Karate, then she's only good at convincing people she could kick their rear end (why oh why is the A word censored). Most Karate is taught as a sport rather than a practical combat art.


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## Timmy (9 July 2009)

Mr J said:


> If it's the typical kind of Karate, then she's only good at convincing people she could kick their rear end (why oh why is the A word censored). Most Karate is taught as a sport rather than a practical combat art.




Didn't you read this bit?



white_crane said:


> *national champion since about 14.*




Give someone who has obviously put in a lot of hard work some credit.  I imagine she'd kick your censored bit any day.


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## Mr J (9 July 2009)

It doesn't change what I said. Competition karate is a sport, not a true martial art. That isn't to say that she can't fight, just that she may not necessarily be able to fight well. I'm being intentially vague because I don't know whether she trained for it as a sport, or as a combat art. Even if she did train for it as a combat art, she's quite vulnerable if she only knows karate. Strikes won't do much good unless they're well-placed - it's not like in the movies.



> I imagine she'd kick your censored bit any day.




If we were scoring points, sure.


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## Timmy (9 July 2009)

Mr J said:


> It doesn't change what I said.




Just seemed to be a typical bring down the tall poppy comment, that's all.


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## nunthewiser (9 July 2009)

drew barrymore and charlies girls would kick all ya assses

amen


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## Mr J (9 July 2009)

It's not, and I know how it looks (it looks like I'm suggesting I can kick the **** of a karate national champ). I'm not belittling her accomplishments, as she's obviously the best at what she does (at least at one point, don't know if she's still a champ). However, there is a difference between martial arts as a sport, as a combat art. If it's for competitions, then it is very likely as a sport. There's also a big difference in martial arts as a combat art, and martial arts as an effective combat art. 

Most fights will not consist of standing at a distance and striking at each other cleanly, so arts like Karate and Taekwondo (as combat arts) are far less helpful that most would think. Someone well trained in either (as a combat art) would still do well in a fight, but they're at a disadvantage because they have not trained for the way most fights play out. It's even less than helpful if they have only trained in it as a sport.


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## wayneL (9 July 2009)

This is what you need in a pub brawl

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krav_Maga

I still wouldn't pick her though.


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## nunthewiser (9 July 2009)

wayneL said:


> This is what you need in a pub brawl
> 
> .




in the midwest


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## Timmy (9 July 2009)

wayneL said:


> This is what you need in a pub brawl
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krav_Maga
> 
> I still wouldn't pick her though.




When I saw the link I thought Krav Maga must be some other tough chick ... 

Tks Mr J - just trying to give credit to her for her achievements.


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## Timmy (9 July 2009)

nunthewiser said:


> in the midwest




Which one are you nun?


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## nunthewiser (9 July 2009)

Timmy said:


> Which one are you nun?






cannot answer on the grounds it may incriminate me


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## overit (11 July 2009)

WOW!


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## Sean K (11 July 2009)

overit said:


> WOW!



Wonder if Mitchell's mum is tuning in?


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## overit (11 July 2009)

Mitchell's father should be complaining that she never comes over to visit...err sorry that mitchell never comes over to visit. She is too fine! She bowls over Bingle any day!

The way the mother has carried on I would disown her. Didnt she just come out on ACA and have another go! Very poor form!


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## Sean K (11 July 2009)

overit said:


> She bowls over Bingle any day!



Hmm, not sure about that. I'm voting Bingle at this point.


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## overit (11 July 2009)

kennas said:


> Hmm, not sure about that. I'm voting Bingle at this point.




Maybe we could have a poll? Would it come down to a blonde/ brunette thing? I shall do some research on the topic!


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## overit (11 July 2009)

What is "Harber"? 

I vote for Jessica Bratich!


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## Sean K (11 July 2009)

overit said:


> What is "Harber"?
> 
> I vote for Jessica Bratich!



Oooops! That Mitchell's mums last name. Trying to fix. LOL


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## overit (11 July 2009)

kennas said:


> Oooops! That Mitchell's mums last name. Trying to fix. LOL




LOL! If she reads ASF she will karate kick you back to the stone age for that one!


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## wayneL (11 July 2009)

Tsk Tsk, you young b@stards are so inhibited.

I'll take both.


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## Sean K (11 July 2009)

wayneL said:


> Tsk Tsk, you young b@stards are so inhibited.
> 
> I'll take both.



You can vote now Wayne.


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## wayneL (11 July 2009)

kennas said:


> You can vote now Wayne.




Excellent!

So now how do I get to sleep? :


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## Calliope (11 July 2009)

I wonder if the cricket team run a book on who can get the most provocative trophy chick. Shane Warne discovered his wife draped over one of those high powered cars at Indy.


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## Prospector (11 July 2009)

From a female perspective, Bingle would drive me insane within a day.  No brainer really, which is the problem.


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## nomore4s (11 July 2009)

Prospector said:


> From a female perspective, Bingle would drive me insane within a day.  No brainer really, which is the problem.




lol, I agree, Bingle really annoys me for some reason.


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## justjohn (11 July 2009)

Calliope said:


> I wonder if the cricket team run a book on who can get the most provocative trophy chick. Shane Warne discovered his wife draped over one of those high powered cars at Indy.




Didn't Shane have the same problem with a english chick on the hood of a BMW last Ashes tour:


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## Sean K (11 July 2009)

justjohn said:


> Didn't Shane have the same problem with a english chick on the hood of a BMW last Ashes tour:



No, international cricketers do not look at women while they are away.


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## justjohn (11 July 2009)

kennas said:


> No, international cricketers do not look at women while they are away.




Shane mightn't have been looking at her Kennas ,he could have had her bent over


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## Timmy (2 October 2009)

Mitchell Johnson named cricketer of the year.  

And no, I am not using this as excuse just to bump this thread.  Not as many photos on this thread as I thought I remembered...


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## overit (2 October 2009)

Who was Mitchell Johnson again??? Oh thats right he is the girlfriend of Jessica Bratich!


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## overit (2 October 2009)




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## overit (2 October 2009)

Still trying to jog my memory!


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## Timmy (16 October 2009)

Thank-you Overit.  It is the willingness of people like yourself to selflessly share their research that is so wonderful about this board.

OK.  Now to find something for the Jodi Gordon thread.


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## overit (23 November 2009)

Yep I would have had trouble concentrating too!



> Mitchell Johnson reveals Ashes demons
> 
> 
> November 23, 2009
> ...




I was just looking for another reason to post a piccy!


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## bloomy88 (24 November 2009)

Lara Bingle all the way for mine


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## overit (12 November 2010)

Looks like Lara is on the outer. I do like the look of her replacement.

Kyly Boldy






Ohh and I really like Bingles cousin! Yowsers!


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