# Drunken Rant Thread



## springhill (8 May 2009)

Thanks to a great idea from GG here it is, The Drunken Rant Thread

A place where we can go hell for leather on those stupid ideas that enter our head when on the sauce

Stipulations are;
Must make no sense
Spelling mistakes are a must
Heavy swearing (plz use the *, &,# and @ keys) encouraged
Posts apologising for previous nights rant will be frowned upon

Level of intoxication for entry;
Half bottle of spirits
1 & 1/2 bottles of wine
1/2 carton of beer
8 shooters


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## MRC & Co (9 May 2009)

ROLFMAO, now this will be a good thread!


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## sammy84 (9 May 2009)

I wish I posted on here last night. I wrote posts when I got home that I have only just realised. I'll be suscribing to this thread, looking forward to writing here sometime soon


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## MrBurns (9 May 2009)

What about drunken stories ?

Who has done the most outrageous stupid act under the influence ?


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## Garpal Gumnut (9 May 2009)

hkkkksdhkas iup323eheh%%%%%%%%%%%%%

gg


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## MrBurns (9 May 2009)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> hkkkksdhkas iup323eheh%%%%%%%%%%%%%
> 
> gg




One or 2 more brandies and that will make perfect sense.


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## Gundini (9 May 2009)

I qualify for this thread..... Hic*

I would like to rant about the deception that this global ponzi scheme has been! Talk about Big Brother, these guys have takin us to the wall!!!!!! What a scam this financial system we have is.... How silly are we?

Further more, we atre jipped, cheated, coorted, conjoled, enchorouged, tricked, coersed, and plain bloody scamed into their ways.

These Jokers have rewarded tehmseklves with huge bonuses trhanks to the biggest ponzi scheme of our time!

Let's give ourselves asn uppercut in unisdon


But really, I don't give a toss, because:

I have outsmarted them, and they can't touch my money...... hahahahaahha

Stuff um.....


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## Solly (9 May 2009)

Well gg it's a lovely evening at Catseye....


Here's an old drinking buddy...


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## MrBurns (9 May 2009)

Dunno if anyone saw show the other night where someone said they were having a leak next to David Hassellhoff and noticed his trousers were getting very wet, turns out he was so drunk he had pulled one of his apples out of his pants instead of the trouser snake and proceeded to urinate while the ole boy was still in his pants.

Does he deserve a medal or what !


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## Solly (9 May 2009)

MrBurns said:


> Dunno if anyone saw show the other night where someone said they were having a leak next to David Hassellhoff and noticed his trousers were getting very wet, turns out he was so drunk he had pulled one of his apples out of his pants instead of the trouser snake and proceeded to urinate while the ole boy was still in his pants.
> 
> Does he deserve a medal or what !




Mr Burns one of the FAs I'm with says it was on "Spics & Specks", yes pin that medal....

But what's scary here's something he did sober...


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## MrBurns (9 May 2009)

Ahhh yes Spicks and Specks , thanks for reminding me. I think they agreed it was the greatest story ever and I can't disagree


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## springhill (10 May 2009)

How about that Kevin F***Kin Rudd and his reported doin his f***king 'nana over not havin a hairdryewr on hand for his photo shoot with the troops?
What a f**khead hey?
He denied it straight away, but i believe it cos he is a f***ken pocket dictator hitler wanna be mofo prick
Put it together with his airforce dummy spit and we can see what type of prick u elected!
Me thinks we are gonna see more of this from this over-polished, pre-fabricated, plastic-faced piece of crap
You can only hide your well known temper problem so long Krudd
U make me sick everytime i see ur face
A**hole


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## mazzatelli1000 (10 May 2009)

Im an surprised Cartman hasnt posted yet 

sorry guys, this made absolute sense


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## nunthewiser (10 May 2009)

ho ho ho .................what more can i say ...........got nothing to raant over but sure feeling finely toxic..........

its an intresting time in the convent

amen


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## nunthewiser (10 May 2009)

oh yeah 

i love youse all


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## Naked shorts (10 May 2009)

nunthewiser said:


> got nothing to raant over but sure feeling finely toxic..........




at 7:30AM on mothers day


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## nunthewiser (11 May 2009)

Naked shorts said:


> at 7:30AM on mothers day






 im in wa so plenny time for reelaxition b4 the masses


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## sammy84 (11 May 2009)

Glad to finally qualify for this thread. Bottle of wine, 4 beers, and about 4 spirits : Now for my rant...Well dont have much to rant about, actually sick of newbies on this forum dishing out technical one liners that they have read in their latest book and proclaiming to know how the   market operates. Only when you have put in the hard yards like tech and TH will you really know how the market works.

Will be up in 5 hours for market open....yehhaaarrrr


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## nulla nulla (11 May 2009)

MrBurns said:


> What about drunken stories ?
> 
> Who has done the most outrageous stupid act under the influence ?




I wonder how many ppl have proposed while under the influence, then been to embarressed to retract it in the cold sober light of the next day? ha ha ha.


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## xyzedarteerf (11 May 2009)

MrBurns said:


> What about drunken stories ?




here's mine when I was nine I was woken up in the morning with a whole lot of swearing and yelling I looked outside the house it was dark around 2am, there I saw my dad yelling at the old Hills Hoist claiming he stole his wallet after 30mins arguing with the hoist he later went inside wore me mum's undies and pissed in the closet, this put me of drinking anything with alcohol for at least 13yrs.


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## nulla nulla (11 May 2009)

xyzedarteerf said:


> here's mine when I was nine I was woken up in the morning with a whole lot of swearing and yelling I looked outside the house it was dark around 2am, there I saw my dad yelling at the old Hills Hoist claiming he stole his wallet after 30mins arguing with the hoist he later went inside wore me mum's undies and pissed in the closet, this put me of drinking anything with alcohol for at least 13yrs.




Did you ever find out what he was drinking? I reckon there'd be a few people willing to give it a try, strictly for professional reasons of course.


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## nunthewiser (11 May 2010)

Hehehehe.

Guilty as charged. The evidence is dotted throughout these threads.

Good thing im a strict teetotaller through the other months of the year


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## GumbyLearner (11 May 2010)

Saints couldn't beat the mob tonight.

F%%%en useless!


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## nunthewiser (7 June 2010)

i,d like to say a big good morning and bob my head for a while.


nothing to rant about


top of the world ma.


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## nulla nulla (7 June 2010)

Yesterday was a good long lunch. Hopefully the numbness will immunise me from any pain today, after the dows drop of 323 points on Friday.


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## nulla nulla (15 July 2010)

Geez, Mel Gibson certainly knows how to have a good rant... or three or four.


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## Slipperz (15 July 2010)

nulla nulla said:


> Geez, Mel Gibson certainly knows how to have a good rant... or three or four.




Caught on tape?

Oh yeaah like everyone  records their bedroom conversations for release on the internet.


The stupidity of rich people knows no bounds when it come to women it seems.

Poor people could take note just quietly
:


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## trainspotter (31 August 2010)

This really isn't a drunken rant but more of a warning when you do get drunk. *DO NOT GET ON EBAY !*

I am now the proud owner of:-

1) A Razor scooter set of handlebars (thought I was bidding on the whole damn bike) 

2) AKAI home theatre amplifier (which doesn't work without some special widget which you cannot buy anywhere in Australia or the rest of the world)

3) A remote control speedboat (which doesn't come with a remote apparently)

So there you have it ladeeeeezzzz and generalmen. Live and learn.


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## nomore4s (31 August 2010)

trainspotter said:


> This really isn't a drunken rant but more of a warning when you do get drunk. *DO NOT GET ON EBAY !*
> 
> I am now the proud owner of:-
> 
> ...




Hahaha, just how drunk were you?


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## trainspotter (31 August 2010)

nomore4s said:


> Hahaha, just how drunk were you?




Obviously drunk enough to bid on things I neither need nor want even if they were a whole and operating piece ??? LOL.


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## nomore4s (31 August 2010)

trainspotter said:


> Obviously drunk enough to bid on things I neither need nor want even if they were a whole and operating piece ??? LOL.




Obviously been hanging around nun too much


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## trainspotter (31 August 2010)

nomore4s said:


> Obviously been hanging around nun too much




Hahahahaaaa yeah ..... he hates the stuff as much as me !


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## Happy (31 August 2010)

trainspotter said:


> Obviously drunk enough to bid on things I neither need nor want even if they were a whole and operating piece ??? LOL.




Don't worry too much, next time you get pissed try to sell them on eBay.

If lucky, might even recover some of the funds you invested.


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## trainspotter (31 August 2010)

Happy said:


> Don't worry too much, next time you get pissed try to sell them on eBay.
> 
> If lucky, might even recover some of the funds you invested.




Knowing my luck I would buy them back off myself for more than what I paid for them LOLOL :


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## jbocker (31 August 2010)

I asked a mate why the family cat was called 'Cooking Fat'? 

He said it got its name because every Friday night when his dad got home really late pissed, he would trip over the cat, and thats what he yelled out!


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## drsmith (31 August 2010)

Kevin B. Wilson sang a song about a cat.


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## springhill (1 September 2010)

drsmith said:


> Kevin B. Wilson sang a song about a cat.




He also sang a song about a phone, and where you can stick it 
Oh cr@p this post just put me on the devil's number, obviously something us drunks worry about.....


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## Julia (1 September 2010)

I don't think I'm drunk but am irritated enough to comment that I'm a bit fed up with newbie members addressing their inevitably repetitive questions to 
"Hi Guys"!

Fergawdsake, not all of us are blokes here.  If you want any replies to generate possible responses from the female members of the forum, try to find a more gender neutral greeting.


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## prawn_86 (2 September 2010)

Julia said:


> I don't think I'm drunk but am irritated enough to comment that I'm a bit fed up with newbie members addressing their inevitably repetitive questions to
> "Hi Guys"!
> 
> Fergawdsake, not all of us are blokes here.  If you want any replies to generate possible responses from the female members of the forum, try to find a more gender neutral greeting.




While i agree it isn't gender neutral, amongst younger people (as far as i am aware and going by my own experiences/peer group) saying 'guys' when addressing a group isn't specifically talking to the males, its the same as saying 'Hi All'


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## Julia (3 September 2010)

Perhaps so, Prawn, but then there are also those which begin:
"Gents"!

Just a couple of days ago Wayne suggested the site is anti-male.
Perhaps I'm just drawing a bit of balance here, because it seems to me that such is not the case at all, and rather the assumption exists that people with an interest in financial markets must be male.


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## Logique (3 September 2010)

prawn_86 said:


> While i agree it isn't gender neutral, amongst younger people (as far as i am aware and going by my own experiences/peer group)* saying 'guys' when addressing a group isn't specifically talking to the males, its the same as saying 'Hi All'*



Not in that demographic myself, but I have noticed this also. Count me as an offender, I have for a long time used 'guys', meaning it to be completely gender neutral. Shows how careful you have to be I guess.

Traino you are a crack up sometimes, stay away from eBay.


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## LifeChoices (6 May 2011)

I've been think'n....

I'm going to get me one of those VW Transporter vans. I'm going to deck it out real good. Black carpet on on the roof, maybe a few reading lights and a spot to put my IPad to watch movies. But most of all I want one of those really commfy beds - one of those latex numbers. What I'm getting at here is that this van will be comfortable.

When I've finished my crap job, I'm going to drive that van to some peaceful beach and spend a few days there away from **** teanage kids, whining wives and just have some me time.

Phillip Island surfing one week, Portland Tuna fishing the next- who cares.

Ahhhhhh - that's the life


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## trainspotter (7 May 2011)

Man, you  are gonna regret that post when you wake up in the morning ....... not about the **** teenage kids or the whining wife ... I mean about the VW Transporter comment. Heaps beter vehicles out there to do it in style. 

I personally would go for one of these:-





And then there is the 4wd version:-


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## LifeChoices (7 May 2011)

trainspotter said:


> Man, you  are gonna regret that post when you wake up in the morning ....... not about the **** teenage kids or the whining wife ... I mean about the VW Transporter comment. Heaps beter vehicles out there to do it in style.
> 
> I personally would go for one of these:-
> 
> ...




About the only thing I regret this morning is calling that random asf poster an egg head - sorry buddy. 

Those cars look way too flashy, If I was sleeping in it I'd be scared that Cowes or Portland street kids would wreck it. I don't think I'd be able to enjoy surfing or tuna fishing cause I'd be too busy thinking about the car. 

Transporter is the go.


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## trainspotter (7 May 2011)

Not sure if the VW Transporter is the go in this current climate. You could be mistaken for one of those nasty terrorists parking the big white van anywhere near a government building or worse yet ...... whenever there is a case of a child being abducted they always seem to be using a BIG WHITE VAN. 

Maybe a good old Kombi wagon might be the go?


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## Glen48 (7 May 2011)

I remember in the 70 we all went to a club in Bundaberg and  we all ended up as full as a centipede sock draw, pre DUI days,  I woke up at some AM hour and we were all sleeping in the car, parked in the middle of a foot ball field  I got out to see what happened and found out we had a flat so I jacked up the car and changed the tyre  let the jack down only to find out the spare was flat as well , turns out some one else had done the same thing a few hrs earlier found out it was dud and got back in the car .

 Another time I woke up with two black eyes  and trying to remember the night I work out I was closing one eye  to drive and stop the white lines from going in all directions I would then close that eye when it  blurred and open the other one.

 Another time in a  R AA F boozer a mate who had a weak stomach grabbed the mop to clean up some vomit as he was cleaning the malodour's over powered him and he made a bee line with his hand over his mouth for the door, the door  was close and as he hit the glass he fell backward and proceeded to vomit all over himself, some one else grabbed the mop  as the rest held out stomaches laughing.

 Also found out if you don't smoke dope when driving to leave the windows down or may as well have a puff.


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## burglar (25 December 2012)

bump


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## cynic (25 December 2012)

burglar said:


> bump




Is one of our beloved posters about to hit the turps? Or are you simply anticipating the post festivities fallout?


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## burglar (25 December 2012)

cynic said:


> ... simply anticipating ...




simply anticipating! 

I was gunna have a rant but I forget what it was about?


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## cynic (25 December 2012)

burglar said:


> simply anticipating!
> 
> I was gunna have a rant but I forget what it was about?




I'd be happy to have a rant on your behalf, but I'm not actually drunk, so I'll have to rant in a sobriety thread instead.


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## DB008 (25 December 2012)

Will be having a dry January.
I don't think that my liver can take it much longer, lol.


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## sptrawler (25 December 2012)

O.K here we go.
Why the hell didn't this useless inept government decide on harnessing and useing our abundant water in the north.
No instead they decided we will put in high speed broadband, so the population can watch us go down the toilet, live on the internet.LOL
On the other hand, it may have been because the government is so full of p!ss and wind it would have contaminated an irrigation project.
My christmas rant.


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## burglar (27 January 2014)

Wat do we want?
A cure for Tourettes!!

When do we want it?

**** **** **** ****


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## trainspotter (27 January 2014)

Not exactly drunk but the day is still young. My rant is along the lines of why do people feel it is in their best interests to comment on my life/personality/relationships/kids blah blah freakin blah when if they looked in their own backyard swimming pool they would find it afloat with Bondi cigars.

Unless it is direct intervention for obvious reasons then keep ya lip zipped IMO.


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## cynic (27 January 2014)

trainspotter said:


> Not exactly drunk but the day is still young. My rant is along the lines of why do people feel it is in their best interests to comment on my life/personality/relationships/kids blah blah freakin blah when if they looked in their own backyard swimming pool they would find it afloat with Bondi cigars.
> 
> Unless it is direct intervention for obvious reasons then keep ya lip zipped IMO.




My opinion for what it's worth! ( a happny maybe! I'll settle for a solitary yen! What! Still NO takers!!) 
I always thought it was because humans generally don't like to own their own faeces and some are too primal to restrain their urge to disown it by deflection onto others!

In reality they're subconsciously delivering a compliment as their angst will generally be directed at people they envy!


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## trainspotter (27 January 2014)

cynic said:


> My opinion for what it's worth! ( a happny maybe! I'll settle for a solitary yen! What! Still NO takers!!)
> I always thought it was because humans generally don't like to own their own faeces and some are too primal to restrain their urge to disown it by deflection onto others!
> 
> In reality they're subconsciously delivering a compliment as their angst will generally be directed at people they envy!




Opinion noted with due respect. I was looking at it from this praecipe ... that for some singular reason in their tiny pea brains that as they have no converse skills that they resort to ultimatum dialogue rather than constructive analysis?

As a matter of fact I do prefer an island to a continent. Point taken


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## drsmith (27 January 2014)

I can't think of a rant tonight as there's been no boats for 5 weeks so I'll just have another beer.


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## sptrawler (27 January 2014)

I agree with you doc, there really isn't much to get excited about at the moment.
Maybe the adults are in charge again.
It's great to go for a night out and not have everyone talking politics, for a change.

You can now get drunk without an arguement. yeh


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## Karlos68 (15 March 2014)

*Re: PEN - Peninsula Energy*



Zubana said:


> indeck, "It's better to be lucky than smart"...
> 
> Buy.......your time to be lucky has arrived; you can be smart later when the smoke clears.
> 
> Love Zub.



Hey fellas, I hope all are well.

Had some drunken yabber on my home forum tonight. Supported an invidual who claims to be a top t/a lad. Once top gun.

So drunk we exchanged phone numbers. 

Long story short. After an hour of drunken yobba on cellphone chat, a legend for some years I once thought (not El Capo), is actually some loser. Chatted to others, now Im banned. Am I angry? You bet. I supported this chap. He was knowin as a legend. Ive chatted to him, he is a complete tosser, and most think he is a top gun trader.(probably cause he says he is) I deleted many posts on several threads before moderator reinstated some posts on the particular thread. All my posts supported this chap. Yet I get banned.  Stuff them. Stuff them all. That's it. Im gone. F..ken losers.



I am so disillusioned with this bloke I thought had high intellect, stuff the previous forum "Sharetrader.co.nz" and thread"music on sharetrader, cast your opinion"


Due to this incident of discussion with an individual I had grown to believe is highly intelligent but actually dumb, I am not contributing anymore to forums. This crazy has my phone number. He was asking my middle name. He wanted to be like me. The crazy tells me he is gonna kill himself. Actually scary to think of the individuals upon forums who claim to be smart.




See ya fellas


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