# Wives and girlfriend complaints



## BradK (14 December 2008)

I'd like to dedicate this thread to Reality who nailed it on another thread for all of us long suffering blokes: NO CHICKS allowed here. You have equal pay now - so stay away from this thread. 

Bring your huddled mass of complaints.... 

I am not allowed to go out between the hours of 5pm and 7pm because, and I quote, 'the baby needs to be fed, bathed and put to bed...' This rule pushes me out of after work drinks. 

BUT, netball and supercircuit seem to be starting around 5.30 or 6pm twice weekly which means I am left with dealing with the toddler - which I dont mind - but I'd like to go to drinks at least once per fortnight. 

Also, the 3 hours of afternoon nap (12.30 to 3.30pm) that the baby has should be construed as 'free time'. However, try to bring that one up against the charge of being time poor and the **** hits the fan. 

Ahhh... the double standards. 

Brad


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## prawn_86 (14 December 2008)

LOL you've stirred up a hornets nest here Brad.

My mind just exploded with all the possible things i could write....


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## BradK (14 December 2008)

Away you go Prawn... oh god, I hope Julia doesn't stumble on this thread  

Brad


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## prawn_86 (14 December 2008)

Ok, perhaps i'll provide one a day for eternity... 

1. My gf fails to do any research into things that should be researched and goes straight ahead and does them, or if she does manage to do some research and finds out that its probably not a good idea, she will go ahead anyway because she thinks its different for her/us etc.


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## BradK (14 December 2008)

My wife prefaces a bollocking with a touchy feely phrase such as 'I feel like you... ' or 'When you do that it makes me feel...' These are courtesy of my mother in law with the pyschology mumbo jumbo designed to bring down the tone of conflict...


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## barney (14 December 2008)

BradK said:


> I am not allowed to go out between the hours of 5pm and 7pm because, and I quote, 'the baby needs to be fed, bathed and put to bed...' This rule pushes me out of after work drinks.
> 
> Brad




HAHA ............... The joys of being young ......

Disclaimer: (In case my wife reads this thread)..My wife is almost perfect ! 


Brad, you've gotta put your foot down before its too late .............. Get the boyz to drop in unexpectedly a couple of times a week between 5 and 7, with some required refreshments, and create a bit of havoc ........... She will be begging you to go out after a couple of weeks .............problem solved!

Alternatively ...... just do what you're told ..... like the rest of us ...lol ...


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## cuttlefish (14 December 2008)

BradK said:


> My wife prefaces a bollocking with a touchy feely phrase such as 'I feel like you... ' or 'When you do that it makes me feel...' These are courtesy of my mother in law with the pyschology mumbo jumbo designed to bring down the tone of conflict...




hahaha.   Psychologists have a lot to answer for.

For your kids sake and your wife's sake - go for a drink every now and then (or a game of squash or footy or poker or chess or whatever it is that gives you some socialisation and release away from the family).

Mothers definitely have the tougher gig in terms or work when it comes to child rearing - it is a massive job and takes so much energy, so constantly, I don't know how they do it - far  more than a normal full time job - but they probably underestimate the sense of responsibility most dads feel in providing for wife and child (and the loss of freedom!).

Don't feel guilty about spending a bit of time being yourself outside of work and family imo.  Similarly make sure you and your wife get out for some time just the two of you every now and then.  

Kids are fantastic fun but they're also a lot of work and very demanding at the todder age, so its easy to lose track of yourself and your relationship amongst it all.


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## MrBurns (14 December 2008)

I've been separated for a year about to get divorsed.
I drink what I like whenever I like . I watch whatever I like on TV, I can wake up at 3am and watch TV in bed if I like.

Mate of mine just came over from Tassie for the weekend reckons I'm a bastatrd, we had a big session Friday night and he said "you can do this when ever you like" I said "yep"

Think I'll eat something beautifully bad for me , go to the casino for a while then go home pour a scotch and listen to music, loud. It's tough.


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## DB008 (14 December 2008)

well, well, well.....where do l start


l ain't going to because it's going to open a can of worms like nothing else before.


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## numbercruncher (14 December 2008)

Since I got married my wifes butt has grown and her t1ts have sagged - she has also got grumpier and bossier - I could also condiser deleting my Google tool bar as she knows fckn everything...... other than that no major complaints LOL


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## nunthewiser (14 December 2008)

only one thing bothers me ..........

trying to be a mindreader sheets me to tears


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## MrBurns (14 December 2008)

numbercruncher said:


> Since I got married my wifes butt has grown and her t1ts have sagged - she has also got grumpier and bossier - I could also condiser deleting my Google tool bar as she knows fckn everything...... other than that no major complaints LOL




LOL I'll drink to that, they only want you for your seed to have their kids then you look after everyone for the rest of your miserable life then die, they collect the insurance and travel the world telling the kids how hard it was for her all those years. Does that sound bitter ? Oh well another scotch and watch another great movie on TV. no Opra or other like crap around here any more.


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## nunthewiser (14 December 2008)

MrBurns said:


> Oh well another scotch and watch another great movie on TV. no Opra or other like crap around here any more.




 yes mrs palmer sure is a considerate babe when it comes to the TV remote


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## chops_a_must (14 December 2008)

nunthewiser said:


> only one thing bothers me ..........
> 
> trying to be a mindreader sheets me to tears




Oh yes... the I'll say yes to that now and blame you for not reading my mind as I meant no trick.


Myself... I'll be an eternal bachelor, by choice thanks. No regrets thus far. In the long run I'm sure I'll save a heap of money, and will eventually go to the hookers when I'm too old for the youngins. Still probably work out cheaper.


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## Gundini (14 December 2008)

MrBurns said:


> I've been separated for a year about to get divorsed.
> I drink what I like whenever I like . I watch whatever I like on TV, I can wake up at 3am and watch TV in bed if I like.
> 
> Mate of mine just came over from Tassie for the weekend reckons I'm a bastatrd, we had a big session Friday night and he said "you can do this when ever you like" I said "yep"
> ...




Oh common MrBurns, there are some nice ones out there, somewhere...

I'll just pop out the back and see if the misses would like another beer...


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## MrBurns (14 December 2008)

chops_a_must said:


> I'm sure I'll save a heap of money, cheaper.




You can say that again after they've finished making your life a misery they clean you out.

Much cheaoer to hire them by the hour in the beginning.

Something tells me this will be a long thread.


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## MrBurns (14 December 2008)

Gundini said:


> Oh common MrBurns, there are some nice ones out there, somewhere...




I think thats one for chops


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## Julia (14 December 2008)

BradK said:


> Away you go Prawn... oh god, I hope Julia doesn't stumble on this thread
> 
> Brad



Ah, but Brad, you've forbidden any female contributions.
Suspect you might be surprised by any comments I'd make anyway.
Iwill await your permission to make an offering.


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## Gundini (14 December 2008)

Man gets home, says:

"Quick, get me a beer before it starts"

He finishes it and says:

"Get me another one before it starts"

She says:

"Listen, you fat lazy c---, you walk in here and start barking orders!"

He says:

"F--- me, it's started..."


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## Boggo (14 December 2008)

Apparently this was an ad in a New York paper or magazine...
One for you Mr Burns 


What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25-year-old girl. I’m articulate and classy. I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least [a] half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a businessman who makes average around 200 - 250K. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000K won’t get me to Central Park West. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms.
- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings.
- Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the Upper East Side so plain? I’ve seen really “plain Jane” boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the East Village. What’s the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows ”” lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY.
Please hold your insults ”” I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them ”” in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.


The response she got was as follows:
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said, here’s how I see it:
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party, and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub ”” your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity … in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms, you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain: you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35, stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold … hence the rub … marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following: if my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe, if you are as gorgeous as you say you are, that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout. By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must ay you’re going about it the right way. Classic “pump and dump.” I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.
__________________


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## MrBurns (14 December 2008)

Boggo said:


> Apparently this was an ad in a New York paper or magazine...
> One for you Mr Burns
> 
> ____




Yes I remember her well, that was a few years ago, there'e a pic of her a little further back up this thread.


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## Gundini (14 December 2008)

MrBurns said:


> Yes I remember her well, that was a few years ago, there'e a pic of her a little further back up this thread.




Yes, she is a pretty thing, and classy too!

If she will deteriorate (Rot) at the pace he suggests, why doesn't he short her?


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## MRC & Co (14 December 2008)

Looks like someone saves their forward emails Boggo!    I remember that one.

As far as the thread topic, I think it's important to set the boundries early, and then continually fight to keep them from shrinking!  esok:


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## Boggo (14 December 2008)

MRC & Co said:


> Looks like someone saves their forward emails Boggo!    I remember that one.




Only the good ones


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## theasxgorilla (15 December 2008)

MRC & Co said:


> As far as the thread topic, I think it's important to set the boundries early, and then continually fight to keep them from shrinking!  esok:




Whilst at the same time, in the early days, appearing to be willing to compromise any and all pre-existing boundaries...


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## BradK (15 December 2008)

I didn't realise how many disenfranchised blokes there were out there. 

I DO love my wife - didn't mean to open a can of worms. 

Julia - permission is granted to speak. But no nagging - or Ssshhhhh! 

Brad


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## Sean K (15 December 2008)

I don't have any new wife compaints at all. She's perfect. 

Oh, except that I have to keep putting the toothpaste lid back on. I have nightmares over it. 

Now, first wife complaints, I think there is a limit on characters in the post, so I won't start....


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## nunthewiser (15 December 2008)

Yes julia please post , we would love to hear any storys about you and your girlfriend


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## seasprite (15 December 2008)

BradK said:


> I didn't realise how many disenfranchised blokes there were out there.
> 
> I DO love my wife - didn't mean to open a can of worms.
> 
> ...




I'm not part of the sisterhood , I am one of the brothers.

Teaching my wife how to drive should have made me bald . Eventually gave up and sent her to a driving school . She has had her licence for 5 years and still scares the living sh?t out of me , she was the sober driver on saturday and I was past intoxication state but still knew she was about to back into our other car when we got home. Spatial awareness are not one of their traits. Love her to bits though.


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## prawn_86 (15 December 2008)

Ok lets preface this by saying i do love my GF and all that jazz.

2. She cant seem to understand that i can logically see both side of arguements/debates and yet still not agree with her. Quite often i can say, "yeh i see your point" and then she will get annoyed that i dont agree even though i can see what she is saying...


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## seasprite (15 December 2008)

prawn_86 said:


> She cant seem to understand that i can logically see both side of arguements/debates and yet still not agree with her. Quite often i can say, "yeh i see your point" and then she will get annoyed that i dont agree even though i can see what she is saying...




Im hearing you.
They ask you for your opinion or idea on something and you give them the most logical answer (which they don't listen to , their eyes just glaze over while you talk to them) then a couple of weeks later , a work colleague of theirs would give the same advice of which they come back to you and say exaclty what you told them in the first place . But the work colleagues idea was brilliant .


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## natashia (15 December 2008)

seasprite said:


> Im hearing you.
> They ask you for your opinion or idea on something and you give them the most logical answer (which they don't listen to , their eyes just glaze over while you talk to them) then a couple of weeks later , a work colleague of theirs would give the same advice of which they come back to you and say exaclty what you told them in the first place . But the work colleagues idea was brilliant .





Hmm I tend to disagree here if yu dont mind    this analysis of yours is very typical of a man.....ask any woman hey even  a mum .....moreover get into a mans inner thoughts and you will humbly see this synopisis revolving to and fro...It is a given :


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## Ashsaege (15 December 2008)

My ex girlfriend once had a fight with me regarding how we never fight!

Crazy woman!


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## BradK (15 December 2008)

natashia said:


> Hmm I *tend to disagree here* if yu dont mind    this analysis of yours is very typical of a man.....ask any woman hey even  a mum .....moreover get into a mans inner thoughts and you will humbly see this synopisis revolving to and fro...It is a given :




Hey Nat, 

Girl free zone unless express permission is granted. LOL  - and you will only be allowed on board IF you agree with everything said. This is the last refuge. 

Brad


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## seasprite (15 December 2008)

thanks for that brad , I was trying to be humble and get in touch with my inner thoughts , I couldn't get a hold of my mum , the line was busy.

My inner thoughts told me to post more complaints to cure myself.


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## natashia (15 December 2008)

BradK said:


> Hey Nat,
> 
> Girl free zone unless express permission is granted. LOL  - and you will only be allowed on board IF you agree with everything said. This is the last refuge.
> 
> Brad





LOL ohhh  holding me hostage huh till I agree and succumb to your every wish...typical typical male....

How about you agree to what I said (which by the way came from me and advice not passed down the chain by mates  ) and we all will be real happy and I will also allow you to take MY lead ...

I can spare that...


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## natashia (15 December 2008)

seasprite said:


> thanks for that brad , I was trying to be humble and get in touch with my inner thoughts , I couldn't get a hold of my mum , the line was busy.
> 
> My inner thoughts told me to post more complaints to cure myself.






hehhe Thats great seasprat I am so pleased you took my advice and EVEN tried mum maybe call a friend LOL


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## white_goodman (15 December 2008)

pump and dump them boys, always be planting seeds!

cos the seed grows into a plant then you fcuk the plant!


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## Nyden (15 December 2008)

Ashsaege said:


> My ex girlfriend once had a fight with me regarding how we never fight!
> 
> Crazy woman!




That's actually not so crazy! Fights are a normal part of a relationship, and I believe it can be indicative of passion. A relationship devoid of passion, and a lack of individual thoughts and opinions can often be quite empty


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## Nyden (15 December 2008)

white_goodman said:


> pump and dump them boys, always be planting seeds!
> 
> cos the seed grows into a plant then you fcuk the plant!




That's disgusting. Are you pro-incest?


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## xyzedarteerf (15 December 2008)

seasprite said:


> Im hearing you.
> They ask you for your opinion or idea on something and you give them the most logical answer (which they don't listen to , their eyes just glaze over while you talk to them) then a couple of weeks later , a work colleague of theirs would give the same advice of which they come back to you and say exaclty what you told them in the first place . But the work colleagues idea was brilliant .




your not alone on this, so many of my opinions and advice goes straight in one ear and out the other, yet as you said if the advice is from work colleagues or family then it must be the right advice. 

but i have actually found a way to turn the tables around by doing reverse psychology seems to work sometimes and i find just listening to the complaints instead of giving advice work wonders 

read a fwd email a few years back about how a mens store differ from a woman's store, where a mens store only had 3 levels of needs and wants versus a woman's store that went to 4th level 8th level 10th level and just kept on going and going, which means no matter how much you try you just can't give them enough, the needs and wants are endless.

"Do you know the difference between a wife of ten years and a job of ten years ? - What is it ? - After ten years, job still sucks."


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## xyzedarteerf (15 December 2008)

Nyden said:


> That's actually not so crazy! Fights are a normal part of a relationship, and I believe it can be indicative of passion. A relationship devoid of passion, and a lack of individual thoughts and opinions can often be quite empty




absolutely fights are part of a relationship, you have to let things out instead of just bottling them inside. there is no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship once you have accepted this, then things will be bearable.


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## cuttlefish (15 December 2008)

natashia said:


> ...moreover get into a mans inner thoughts and you will humbly see this synopisis revolving to and fro...





This part happens to me a lot ... I get told what I really think after my inner thoughts have been analysed.   What I say isn't what I really think, that would be far too simple.  


Now I'll wait for natashia to tell me what I really said just then


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## xyzedarteerf (15 December 2008)

BradK said:


> Hey Nat,
> 
> Girl free zone unless express permission is granted. LOL  - and you will only be allowed on board IF you agree with everything said. This is the last refuge.
> 
> Brad




 hehehe.


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## white_goodman (15 December 2008)

Nyden said:


> That's disgusting. Are you pro-incest?




incest what?

my young perspective suggests girls are only useful for a few things... hence the planting seeds approach


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## Nyden (15 December 2008)

white_goodman said:


> incest what?
> 
> my young perspective suggests girls are only useful for a few things... hence the planting seeds approach




The way you structured your comment suggested that your intent was to have relations with said "seed" - or, in the very least, to look for younger girls in 20 years time? 

Either way, I find it quite distasteful :


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## seasprite (15 December 2008)

wife says - when are you going to finish building that deck you started 3 weeks ago ? 

husband says - you wanted me to put in your new kitchen bench 2 weekends ago , so that it is in before christmas and last weekend you wanted me to dig the garden so that you could put in your new plants.

wife says - that's no excuse , when are going to finish that deck??? #!@%


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## awg (15 December 2008)

I am very lucky to have a fantastic wife.

but an ASF relevant complaint

she does not understand that in order to manage large investments, requires a lot of time in front of the computer.

Especially if one desires to actively trade, learn new methods etc.

There isnt too many shortcuts available, and I treat it like a job.

I decided to actively manage, instead of passively, and be bled for fees, so had a steep learning curve that never seems to end.

Have tried numerous times to explain, even the basics, but her eyes glaze over completely even on compound interest, taxation, drawdown etc let alone more advanced concepts.

Even though she is extremely intelligent, and has a well paid occupation, she takes no interest whatsover in matters such as superannuation, tax, or even saving. I have to do all her super, BAS, tax return, investments etc.

its very frustrating...she simply wouldnt lodge a return or contibute to super, unless I did it.

I do insist she has her own bank account, and luckily she is not a high maintenance gal, the other bonus is that it looks like she might earn more than me this year 

ps, she simply will never check the oil level in a car either, or notice that she is driving on a low pressure tyre, until it is wrecked


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## MS+Tradesim (15 December 2008)

Wow. I feel sorry for most of you. I have the greatest wife in the world. I have no complaints at all - because we always sort out our differences before they turn into simmering issues. It wasn't that way early in the piece and it took time and effort and plenty of arguments to reach this point. Been married ten years and wouldn't give away a day of it. As a bonus she's hotter now than the day we met. I wouldn't change a thing about her. 

There's no way I can say this without it sounding preachy but I did it myself: the only way to improve a relationship is to change yourself, because guess what...you're not perfect either. If your partner genuinely loves you, they will notice and respond positively and it cycles upwards from there. So be a man and take the initiative.


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## skc (15 December 2008)

Going into my 5th year of marriage I found myself much wiser than before. There is now a simple rule that I follow...when you find yourself discussing with your wife anything to do with emotions, NEVER offer reason or logic as your response. 

Try it...it's illogical, but works like a charm in my experience.


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## Knobby22 (15 December 2008)

MS+Tradesim said:


> Wow. I feel sorry for most of you. I have the greatest wife in the world. I have no complaints at all - because we always sort out our differences before they turn into simmering issues. It wasn't that way early in the piece and it took time and effort and plenty of arguments to reach this point. Been married ten years and wouldn't give away a day of it. As a bonus she's hotter now than the day we met. I wouldn't change a thing about her.
> 
> There's no way I can say this without it sounding preachy but I did it myself: the only way to improve a relationship is to change yourself, because guess what...you're not perfect either. If your partner genuinely loves you, they will notice and respond positively and it cycles upwards from there. So be a man and take the initiative.




Well said. I've happily married thirteen years now. 
You don't have to understand them, just love them!


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## 1080p (15 December 2008)

MS+Tradesim said:


> Wow. I feel sorry for most of you. I have the greatest wife in the world.




I agree.  I've been married 7 years and it was the best thing I ever did.  My wife is my best friend and we never fight.


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## MS+Tradesim (15 December 2008)

1080p said:


> My wife is my best friend .




I think that's a key. We were good friends before we became romantically interested in each other and we're best friends ever since.


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## prawn_86 (15 December 2008)

1080p said:


> My wife is my best friend and we never fight.




My GF is a great friend also.

But you have to admit even your best mates **** you to tears sometimes, i know mine do...


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## Bushman (15 December 2008)

prawn_86 said:


> My GF is a great friend also.
> 
> But you have to admit even your best mates **** you to tears sometimes, i know mine do...




Aye; however the key is to talk about it and not let it simmer away. 

We do pretty well (apart from directions in the car) and she rocks my world. 

Happy days.


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## Punisher (15 December 2008)

> I'd like to dedicate this thread to Reality who nailed it on another thread for all of us long suffering blokes: NO CHICKS allowed here. You have equal pay now - so stay away from this thread.
> 
> Bring your huddled mass of complaints....
> 
> I am not allowed to go out between the hours of 5pm and 7pm because, and I quote, 'the baby needs to be fed, bathed and put to bed...' This rule pushes me out of after work drinks.




This problem is easily solved.
Just bring your mates home for drinks every night until she gets the message.
Or say you are going out to do your own circuit classes, but neglect to tell her your circuit is actually a pub crawl.
Of course you know she will want more than half of this thread when you get divorced though.


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## tigerboi (15 December 2008)

*Re: Wives & daughters complaints drive me crazy!*

I vote this as the thread of 2008!off the road til after christmas with a house full of females (4) including the mutt...

reminds me why i love the life of an interstate truck driver...

12 hours up the pacific or 9 hours down the hume...without a whining mrs...love it!,now if only i could get some work during the hols...tb


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## DB008 (15 December 2008)

Just some of the mind games they play with you, really f#$k's with your head. Why do they do that? 

As others have said on this post. You could be trying to prove a point, and correct it is, but if it doesn't fit in their answers box, your s%$t out of luck. However, a colleague might say they same thing as what you said last week and it's perfect repsonse. 

WHY DO THEY DO THAT?!?!?!

Mind games 101


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## seasprite (15 December 2008)

https://www.aussiestockforums.com/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=26346&stc=1&d=1229315011
seat.jpg

this should sort out the toilet seat issue.


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## MrBurns (15 December 2008)

Why do they close their eyes when you make love ?, because they cant stand to see you enjoying yourself.


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## Julia (15 December 2008)

Well now, fellas, you can take anything I say with the proverbial grain of salt given that I've been married twice and won't ever, ever do it again.

So nice to see that really most of you are pretty happy, despite the grizzles.

We women can be irrational and contrary.

One of the difficulties in the whole communication thing can be that when women are upset/worried/anxious/stressed often they just want you to listen to whatever it's about.   But men - being solution-oriented - can usually quickly and logically sum up whatever the angst is about and offer a sure fire solution, e.g. "well, if you do this and this, then that will be all be solved".
And then you all get frustrated because she doesn't immediately dry her tears and thank you for your insight and solution.

Instead, as some of you have observed, she will go away and go through the whole problem ad infinitum with at least six of her women friends.  These women will empathise, sympathise, but not offer a solution.  

After all this, she will have figured out what she needs to do, most likely what you suggested in the first place.

Don't rebel against this process.  Just accept it.  It's just what women do unless they actually ask outright "What do you think I should do?"

The best relationships I know are those where the partners can still be individuals.  I reckon you need to have your time with same gender friends or following separate interests.   But maybe that's just my personal view:  I feel suffocated if a bloke is into complete togetherness.

Someone mentioned their partner did the "When you....... I feel......"
Yep.  Basic Assertiveness and Communication 101.   It's a replacement for the "You make me feel awful because......." which is, according to the pop psychology books, not taking responsibility for one's own feelings.
I suspect this might engender more irritation on the part of the male partner than it's supposed to resolve.  Dunno really.

Anyway, sounds to me as though most of you blokes are probably pretty decent partners and doing your best.   Could I just suggest the odd bunch of flowers for no particular reason other than that you love her.


----------



## Ashsaege (15 December 2008)

xyzedarteerf said:


> absolutely fights are part of a relationship, you have to let things out instead of just bottling them inside. there is no such thing as a perfect marriage or relationship once you have accepted this, then things will be bearable.




I agree, we had plenty of arguments (she wasn't the smartest blonde) but they'd never turn into a fight - i just managed to keep things civilized. I think she wanted more drama... and i just couldn't be arsed!


----------



## chops_a_must (15 December 2008)

Julia said:


> One of the difficulties in the whole communication thing can be that when women are upset/worried/anxious/stressed often they just want you to listen to whatever it's about.   But men - being solution-oriented -



See Julia, you get off to the wrong start here.

We are problem creators, not problem solvers. :


----------



## chops_a_must (15 December 2008)

Ashsaege said:


> I agree, we had plenty of arguments (she wasn't the smartest blonde) but they'd never turn into a fight - i just managed to keep things civilized. I think she wanted more drama... and i just couldn't be arsed!




Why is it that some women actually need their relationships to be a permanent drama? It is horrible!


----------



## Sir Osisofliver (15 December 2008)

Julia said:


> Well now, fellas, you can take anything I say with the proverbial grain of salt given that I've been married twice and won't ever, ever do it again.
> 
> So nice to see that really most of you are pretty happy, despite the grizzles.
> 
> ...




Adds salt,

What I don'y understand is WHY women go through this process of reaching a decision through some feminine version of groupthink. I mean if something is obviously not working I try something different rather than beating my head against a brick wall. Do women like bruised foreheads for some reason? Why would you continue behaviours that *causes* problems? Makes no sense at all.

It took years for my wife and I to sort out that issue out. Either; a) tell me what you want done and walk away or b) do it yourself. Telling me to do something or how to do something when I am already doing it is nagging. (The way the missus and I solved this was that I expressed how much I disliked it when she did that...she professed to not understand...and the next time she was doing something I gave her an example... I slept on the couch for a week...but it was WORTH IT)



Sir O.


----------



## awg (15 December 2008)

one thing i have noticed.

when overhearing woman only talk, they very often say words to the effect of
"How did you FEEL about that".

male group talk rarely say that.

they will say "What did you THINK about that"

which doesnt mean men dont feel or women think, but the way they EXPRESS themselves.

true, but less so, in CONDUCT IMO


----------



## BradK (15 December 2008)

Geez, this thread is chugging along isn't it? My wife and I have a decent relationship - but mostly my problems boil down to not being arsed to struggle against pop psychology, her girlfriends, and whatever else is against you all the way. You cant win. 

Oh... after I asked politely for mrs k to have her hair done by a friend AFTER 7.30 according to the rules of the house - she has just rang and told me to feed, bathe and put the toddler to bed because it was more convenient for her to stay in town and she has rescheduled for 5.30... 

I have a whine, but I know of one mate married to an irrational ball breaker with severe emotional problems. At least my capitulation is the result of cold blooded intent rather than irrational PMS. 

And I would much rather it that way!! 

Brad


----------



## Bushman (15 December 2008)

chops_a_must said:


> Why is it that some women actually need their relationships to be a permanent drama? It is horrible!




Too much day-time soap operas? (token flame) 

Some people (male & female) get off on conflict. They are usually angry about their own childhood and the volatile relationship their parents had.  

Monkey see, monkey do...


----------



## chops_a_must (15 December 2008)

Bushman said:


> Too much day-time soap operas? (token flame)
> 
> Some people (male & female) get off on conflict. They are usually angry about their own childhood and the volatile relationship their parents had.
> 
> Monkey see, monkey do...



It must be an either or thing, because my parents had a pretty rough relationship in the end, and I know others certainly have that I know.

And this is the last sort of behaviour they exhibit in relationships. They get rid of people like this, or people that induce it, extremely quickly.


----------



## BradK (15 December 2008)

The worst one: 

Its pitch black in the bedroom at 10pm just before you are about to drop off to sleep. 

You hear a long *siiiggghhhhh* - do you ask? Or do you ignore it? 

Then the second *siiggghhh* comes and it cant be ignored. You are in the ****! 

Brad


----------



## nomore4s (15 December 2008)

chops_a_must said:


> Why is it that some women actually need their relationships to be a permanent drama? It is horrible!




Because they are women:


----------



## xyzedarteerf (15 December 2008)

awg said:


> one thing i have noticed.
> 
> when overhearing woman only talk, they very often say words to the effect of
> "How did you FEEL about that".




Dave Chappelle - Women And Their Feelings


----------



## Green08 (15 December 2008)

I watch couples and the first thing that I notice is that the women are invariably incredibly clingy and needing time. Boy do they hang on Extra Tight if they know there is a single female around.  I find it hysterical they guard their "piggy bank" with all their might.  Not reasiling they are pushing their man away the tighter they hang on.  Watching my poor brother go through this now.

Sure I have a partner of 10 years but we never ever live together - we would end up killing each other!

He has his life and I have mine then we have ours. - Perfect! 

SPACE - you guys young or old, married or single will understand this, funny some of us females need it too!


----------



## BradK (15 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> I watch couples and the first thing that I notice is that the women are invariably incredibly clingy and needing time. Boy do they hang on Extra Tight if they know there is a single female around.  I find it hysterical they guard their "piggy bank" with all their might.  Not reasiling they are pushing their man away the tighter they hang on.  Watching my poor brother go through this now.
> 
> SPACE - you guys young or old, married or single will understand this, funny some of us females need it too!




Can you please talk to all our wives and girlfriends?!?!?!? PLEASE PLEASE.. PRETTY PLEASE!!!! 

Green08 for PM!!! 

Brad


----------



## Green08 (15 December 2008)

BradK said:


> Can you please talk to all our wives and girlfriends?!?!?!? PLEASE PLEASE.. PRETTY PLEASE!!!!
> 
> Green08 for PM!!!
> 
> Brad




Very happy to talk to these clingy women - line them up!!!!!!!!!

They need education on space to keep their men


----------



## JimBob (15 December 2008)

I currently live with my girlfriend and are getting married in April.  She is religious, im not but go to church once a week with her.  Although we have lived together for 8 months, according to someone from her church, us living together before marriage is interfering with her relationship with god so she is moving out to live with my parents until we get married in April.  

Most everything is great, just the religion thing......and the future mother in law.  

/end rant


----------



## chops_a_must (15 December 2008)

JimBob said:


> I currently live with my girlfriend and are getting married in April.  She is religious, im not but go to church once a week with her.



Bahahahahaha!

Grow some balls mate!!!


----------



## MrBurns (15 December 2008)

JimBob said:


> I currently live with my girlfriend and are getting married in April.  She is religious, im not but go to church once a week with her.  Although we have lived together for 8 months, according to someone from her church, us living together before marriage is interfering with her relationship with god so she is moving out to live with my parents until we get married in April.
> 
> Most everything is great, just the religion thing......and the future mother in law.
> 
> /end rant





What sort of Church is it ? you need to be careful it sounds like a cult.


----------



## Gundini (15 December 2008)

JimBob said:


> and the future mother in law.
> 
> /end rant




omg 

THIS DESERVES A DIFFERENT THREAD


----------



## BradK (15 December 2008)

Gundini said:


> omg
> 
> THIS DESERVES A DIFFERENT THREAD




Nah, Mothers-in-law come with the territory... mine actually comes out on my side most of the time. She thinks I am the ducks nuts. HOWEVER, she does do the pop psychology thing - so perhaps I am just getting screwed over without realising it?? 
Brad


----------



## Gundini (15 December 2008)

BradK said:


> Nah, Mothers-in-law come with the territory... mine actually comes out on my side most of the time. She thinks I am the ducks nuts. HOWEVER, she does do the pop psychology thing - so perhaps I am just getting screwed over without realising it??
> Brad




Don't start a "Mother in Law" thread please, dont....


----------



## 2BAD4U (15 December 2008)

JimBob said:


> I currently live with my girlfriend and are getting married in April.  She is religious, im not but go to church once a week with her.  Although we have lived together for 8 months, according to someone from her church, us living together before marriage is interfering with her relationship with god so she is moving out to live with my parents until we get married in April.
> 
> Most everything is great, just the religion thing......and the future mother in law.
> 
> /end rant




Mate, look back through history and see how many wars were started over religion and women.  You've got them both, throw in a touch of mother-in-law and I would seriously consider building yourself a bomb shelter.


----------



## JimBob (15 December 2008)

chops_a_must said:


> Bahahahahaha!
> 
> Grow some balls mate!!!




I made the mistake of telling her i would go with her and be supportive while we were still in the dating phase.  It has one perk, she is a permanent designated driver due to her not drinking.  




			
				MrBurns said:
			
		

> What sort of Church is it ? you need to be careful it sounds like a cult.




Isnt religion just a popular cult?

She is in the Salvation Army, so Christian.  Dont be fooled by their Red Shield and Christmas Appeals, it is full of judgemental old biddies whose sole purpose is determining whether others have violated Section 3, Item 4 of some unwritten rule book.  I still watch out for lightning bolts when i try to walk into the church.


----------



## MrBurns (15 December 2008)

JimBob said:


> I made the mistake of telling her i would go with her and be supportive while we were still in the dating phase.  It has one perk, she is a permanent designated driver due to her not drinking.
> 
> 
> 
> ...




My guess is you wont be drinking either after the wedding, rules will be made.

Just be careful, have a VERY FRANK talk with her NOW, it's too late afterwards. 

Dont let everyone in here scare you but make all your checks before final purchase, there are no returns or refunds.


----------



## cuttlefish (15 December 2008)

Yeah I'd be inclined to agree with Mr Burns - if you already feel like you are compromising more than you'd like to now, don't assume it will get easier post marriage ... and then throw in kids and it gets harder again.  

For example have you considered if/when you have children what you personally would like them to have in terms of religious education?  How will this fit in with your wife and the church's views? 

I'd be discussing these things now because they can have a big impact later on.


----------



## natashia (15 December 2008)

cuttlefish said:


> This part happens to me a lot ... I get told what I really think after my inner thoughts have been analysed.   What I say isn't what I really think, that would be far too simple.
> 
> 
> Now I'll wait for natashia to tell me what I really said just then




Haha Firstly good to see you are on the right track asking me a woman how to get yourself back on track and leaning on me is truly your best move LOL ...
So your thoughts need a quick keeper upperrer...I have just the right answer for you ....plead ignorance and always mention how wrong you were LOL and how you are truly in touch with your true thoughts and find it disturbing not sharing it without having it analysed by your true goddess and everything you thought was really absolutely quite wrong from what you really felt....hahahha session over? :


----------



## Surfer35 (15 December 2008)

Gents,

I am hearing all your complaints and once suffered the many exasperations you all do. The solution: Japan.

Was once married to an Australian girl who not long after marriage turned into the ubiquitous lumbering, angry, expectant white chick with an ingrained princess mentality.

Long story short, finally extricated myself from that and moved to Tokyo. Well gents, femininity and assertiveness can coexist and no, it's not right that women have fat arses.

I now have a divine Japanese wife who has her own opinions (and is not afraid to enforce them) but also understands marriage is a partnership, not a unilateral ATM. Plus she is elegant and doesn't feel like you are waking up next to a man as it does with Australian women.

Tokyo boys.....do yourselves a favour. You can go for days and not see some lumbering beast with an oversized dumpster. You will also be amused at the sorry sight of Western chicks up there.


----------



## Absolutely (15 December 2008)

Surfer35 said:


> Gents,
> 
> I am hearing all your complaints and once suffered the many exasperations you all do. The solution: Japan.
> 
> ...




Christ this has to be the post of the century. I am seeing the light.......this could be life changing ! Thankyou Surfer 35. I'm going to pack my bags. (And what's more I love sushi)


----------



## MrBurns (15 December 2008)

Absolutely said:


> Christ this has to be the post of the century. I am seeing the light.......this could be life changing ! Thankyou Surfer 35. I'm going to pack my bags. (And what's more I love sushi)




Count me in.


----------



## cuttlefish (15 December 2008)

natashia said:


> Haha Firstly good to see you are on the right track asking me a woman how to get yourself back on track and leaning on me is truly your best move LOL ...
> So your thoughts need a quick keeper upperrer...I have just the right answer for you ....plead ignorance and always mention how wrong you were LOL and how you are truly in touch with your true thoughts and find it disturbing not sharing it without having it analysed by your true goddess and everything you thought was really absolutely quite wrong from what you really felt....hahahha session over? :




haha - cheers for the counselling session.  I better start practising ...

"I'm wrong."
"It was my fault"
"Yes we'll do it your way, my way was ridiculously logical and practical yours is far more exciting and adventurous"


----------



## natashia (15 December 2008)

cuttlefish said:


> haha - cheers for the counselling session.  I better start practising ...
> 
> "I'm wrong."
> "It was my fault"
> "Yes we'll do it your way, my way was ridiculously logical and practical yours is far more exciting and adventurous"




LOL Sweet sweet just for added measure remember the magic words. "Yes we'll do it your way instead of my fuddy duddy ways because it will be far more exciting adventurous and I couldnt have thought of it if it wasnt for you and I know I will be more cuddlefish to you"... :nuts:


----------



## cuttlefish (15 December 2008)

natashia said:


> LOL Sweet sweet just for added measure remember the magic words. "Yes we'll do it your way instead of my fuddy duddy ways because it will be far more exciting adventurous and I couldnt have thought of it if it wasnt for you and I know I will be more cuddlefish to you"... :nuts:




lol   yeah that is starting to sound pretty scary ...


----------



## mayk (15 December 2008)

Surfer35 said:


> Gents,
> 
> I am hearing all your complaints and once suffered the many exasperations you all do. The solution: Japan.
> 
> ...




Tell us more...  I have heard similar stories


----------



## seasprite (16 December 2008)

MrBurns said:


> Why do they close their eyes when you make love ?, because they cant stand to see you enjoying yourself.




hilarious Mr Burns , that would however pose a problem if she started snoring.


----------



## MrBurns (16 December 2008)

seasprite said:


> hilarious Mr Burns , that would however pose a problem if she started snoring.




Na just keep going while you can


----------



## MrBurns (16 December 2008)

natashia said:


> LOL Sweet sweet just for added measure remember the magic words. "Yes we'll do it your way instead of my fuddy duddy ways because it will be far more exciting adventurous and I couldnt have thought of it if it wasnt for you and I know I will be more cuddlefish to you"... :nuts:




And then she loses respect for you because you arent a "man"

People say men and women are the same they both want the same thing, bull****, women want to be adored and men want to be worshiped, they get their wish, men hardly ever do. Hence the shoulder padded assertive , ball breaker at one end of the breakfast table and the poor broken bastard that has to put up with the crap at the other.
Happy days.


----------



## seasprite (16 December 2008)

why is it , women only want to talk when the news or sport is on. Not any other  time in between . I actually found my tv remote has dual function , as I increase the volume on the tv , her voice gets louder and louder .


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

Geez your divorce must be awful - better luck next time.

Love wearing gorgeous dress and stunning heels I know he loves it. I don't do it for adoration but self respect for the occasion.  I love my leathers for the bike and 90% get around in jeans and a T. It is the grooming and health respect yourself and others appreciate it. I love it when he is groomed shower, clean cloths  but he does it for himself I never say anything other than blue, black and green look sexy on him! 

I most certainly don't worship him - I respect him for his care, love and friendship and we both respect our unusually relationship.  It's weird but even he said the longer we are together in our situation the more passionate it is.  Maybe some of you with patience and loyalty should give it ago.  The romance and fire has never gone – seriously.  

Sometimes we fight but always sort it out before leaving each other to go to our homes.  We are older so children aren’t and issue - got the pup instead!!  My daughter who is 16 years thinks he is pretty cool and said she would only have a boyfriend if he was like my partner so she could have space. His daughter 26 years has no problem as she can stay with her dad and do things with him.  He won’t change – I won’t change = accept what you have or get out.  When I see women and men being so ungrateful and constantly arguing it is immature.  Sort it Out or Get Out!

As for large derriÃ¨res and gravity prone bosoms - Don't assume ALL women get them, though I will say that full Caucasian women are more prone, there are many around my area and I think it is unsightly especially in lycra after the gym!!  Must be banned!!  

Maybe as I am Eurasian I am blessed with fine bones and naturally slim.  My partner and I trained at the gym for 10 years together, sometimes side by side or we would do our own thing - I couldn't care less if he looked at other women, invariably I was the one making comments about them looking hot or not! 

Religion -Man you need to seriously sort that out!!  I completely agree with the comments here.  If you don't work on your parameters now you can right the rest of your life off!   You need to be respected for who you are, if you can’t respect your self and set boundaries she knows it and will push, trust me I’ve seen it as a woman. And you will lose your privacy and space – something you will value later on and will probably be the cause of your breakup - the put the lid down, lid on tooth paste, ……is just a smoke screen for, FckU ! I need my space – back off!!

Relationships aren’t sex, chores and yelling.  Relationships are mutual respect, love and SPACE.


----------



## theasxgorilla (16 December 2008)

MrBurns said:


> And then she loses respect for you because you arent a "man"




It's a fine line Mr Burns...I don't recall anyone saying it was going to be easy.


----------



## MrBurns (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> Geez your divorce must be awful - better luck next time.




The divorse was ok it's the marriage that was awful.





Green08 said:


> Sometimes we fight but always sort it out before leaving each other *to go to our homes. * .




I think I see why ou get on so well


----------



## MrBurns (16 December 2008)

theasxgorilla said:


> It's a fine line Mr Burns...I don't recall anyone saying it was going to be easy.




I dont recall anyone saying it will be a freeking nightmare either


----------



## electronicmaster (16 December 2008)

Why is it that I see woman responding on this thread?
Can't they see the rules from the first post?
Is there no escape for men?

I don't mind Woman reading and having a good laugh, but woman responding when told not to is just plain ignorant.


----------



## sails (16 December 2008)

electronicmaster said:


> Why is it that I see woman responding on this thread?
> Can't they see the rules from the first post?
> Is there no escape for men?
> 
> I don't mind Woman reading and having a good laugh, but woman responding when told not to is just plain ignorant.




welcome to reality... 

Yeah, been some good laughs, but some sad situations too.  Can be quite alarming for children if Mum and Dad fighting or if the kids sense tension.  They seem extraordinarliy perceptive even at very young ages and often don't have the ability to communicate their feelings or fears.

Been reading a book "Crucial Conversations" - Tools for talking when the stakes are high by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan and Al Switzler.  (Forward by Stephen Covey - author of the 7 Habits...) It does show techniques on how to bring about change for the better.  It's not specifically on family relationships - covers all sorts.

BTW - don't you less-than-happy guys ever think your missus might just find these posts one day


----------



## theasxgorilla (16 December 2008)

MrBurns said:


> I dont recall anyone saying it will be a freeking nightmare either




 touche.


----------



## Boggo (16 December 2008)

And a little bit of reality humour (poor bugger)...


----------



## electronicmaster (16 December 2008)

sails said:


> welcome to reality...
> 
> Yeah, been some good laughs, but some sad situations too.  Can be quite alarming for children if Mum and Dad fighting or if the kids sense tension.  They seem extraordinarliy perceptive even at very young ages and often don't have the ability to communicate their feelings or fears.
> 
> ...




??????????

See, see?


----------



## GeoffM (16 December 2008)

I could never understand why my Dad use to sing this song every now and again Now I am older and hopefully wiser I full understand all the verses Especially the last one 
There is a lot of different lyrics to this old folk song see link below 
Geoff

VERSE 1
When I was single, O then
When I was single, O then
When I was single, my money would jingle
I wish I was single again

VERSE 2
I married me a wife, O then
I married me a wife, O then
I married me a wife, she's th joy of my life
I wish I was single again

VERSE 3
My wife, she died, O then
My wife, she died, O then
My wife, she died an' I laughed till I cried
To think I was single again

VERSE 4
I went for 'er coffin, O then
I went for 'er coffin, O then
I went for 'er coffin a laughin' an' talkin'
To think I was single again

VERSE 5
I married another'n, O then
I married another'n, O then
I married another, she's th devils grandmother
I wish I was single again

VERSE 6
Young men, take warning from me
Young men, take warning from me
Be kind t' th first for th next one'll be worse
An' you'll wish you was single again 

http://maxhunter.missouristate.edu/0385/index.html


----------



## cuttlefish (16 December 2008)

Gee we're sounding like a sad bunch now aren't we ...


----------



## electronicmaster (16 December 2008)

GeoffM said:


> I could never understand why my Dad use to sing this song every now and again Now I am older and hopefully wiser I full understand all the verses Especially the last one
> There is a lot of different lyrics to this old folk song see link below
> Geoff
> 
> ...




Nice song.   
And it rings true too.  
I've been single all my life.  In fact, only a few woman know that I even live on this planet (Still to meny however ;( ).

lol, I remember going to the Austral to have a beer all by myself.  And then a group of girls were surrounding me expecting me to say something.  I just stood up and saw that they were watching me, waiting for me to say something to one of them.

It was a trap.  They would of tryed to take all of my cash if I gave them the chance.

So I just walked out of the pub, as they looked at me and then at each other, confused. 

Freedom is still mine.... 

EDIT: Well, appart from being with my mother.


----------



## Punisher (16 December 2008)

cuttlefish said:


> Gee we're sounding like a sad bunch now aren't we ...




Not really.
When you have read the anti-male feminist whinging.
Now that is sad.
Try and watch Oprah for 5 minutes.
That will numb your brain for life and take off at least 100 IQ points.
Like the masses of females that are hooked on it like a drug.


----------



## Punisher (16 December 2008)

I once read the following advert in the classified section of a leading newspaper,

Give away
Complete set of encyclopedia's
No longer needed as wife knows everything

If only this was true.
I would send the professor of to work while I stay home and watch Oprah


----------



## prawn_86 (16 December 2008)

3. Leaving the toothpaste in the shower so i have to get it out every time. Damn that annoys me!


----------



## electronicmaster (16 December 2008)

Punisher said:


> I once read the following advert in the classified section of a leading newspaper,
> 
> Give away
> Complete set of encyclopedia's
> ...




Oprah is evil.  

Look at the USA now, it has turned into a Socialist state.  And Australia is well on its way to Socialism as well.

Thanks Oprah (and Julian Gillard).

Here is a solution


----------



## Agentm (16 December 2008)

What's the difference between a job and a wife?

After five years, the job still sucks.


----------



## nomore4s (16 December 2008)

prawn_86 said:


> 3. Leaving the toothpaste in the shower so i have to get it out every time. Damn that annoys me!




lol, I actually do this to my other half, now we just have 2 open tubes of toothpaste, 1 in the shower and 1 on the vanity.


----------



## Punisher (16 December 2008)

Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them. :


----------



## Punisher (16 December 2008)

What's worse than a male chauvinistic pig?

A women who won't do what she's told.


----------



## Punisher (16 December 2008)

And yet another joke:

How many men does it take to open a beer?

None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

electronicmaster said:


> Why is it that I see woman responding on this thread?
> Can't they see the rules from the first post?
> Is there no escape for men?
> 
> I don't mind Woman reading and having a good laugh, but woman responding when told not to is just plain ignorant.




Well I had a Girlfriend Relationship Initmate once.  That is discussed at length on another Thread.

So if I have a girlfriend too what's the difference?

Mate, your plain bloody ignorant.  Sure we can read the thread, it's a public forum, but you have to realise I may contibute a different view so not "all women are the same". It's a public bloody forum there are only a few women here anyway most single by choice. Don't cut your nose off. I noticed that most real negatives are coming from new members, young members (seed? - Nyden is correct vulgar), bitter with marriage.

My best friends are all male I have female aquaintances as I find them rather tiresome to be around.  

I've never belonged to a mother/baby group or coffee club.


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

cuttlefish said:


> Gee we're sounding like a sad bunch now aren't we ...




Seems that way

As all women (not alot of delineation going on here) are such dreadful humans.  Jump the fence boys - *The Gay life IS your answer*!!

No Pregnancy
Take the toilet lid off
Bitch together
and many other positives...................................


----------



## electronicmaster (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> Well I had a Girlfriend Relationship Initmate once.  That is discussed at length on another Thread.
> 
> So if I have a girlfriend too what's the difference?
> 
> ...




????????

See, see?


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

electronicmaster said:


> ????????
> 
> See, see?




and MY girlfriend????

Your young, new


----------



## Ashsaege (16 December 2008)

I hate it when the woman knows she is wrong in the current argument, but instead of admitting defeat, she will bring in problems from the past and throw them at you.

I had an argument with my sister (she aint my wife or girlfriend!) back in November regarding christmas presents. I got an email out of the blue from her telling me what to buy her and her family for christmas! I told her that presents shouldn't be dictated by the receiver (unless asked) because it's just plain rude! She replied with that im useless, a terrible uncle/God Father and that i dont make enough time for her or her family! bam!


----------



## cuttlefish (16 December 2008)

Ashsaege said:


> I hate it when the woman knows she is wrong in the current argument, but instead of admitting defeat, she will bring in problems from the past and throw them at you.





Yep this is a classic one I get all the time.   Start discussing one thing, end up being attacked about some other unrelated thing.


----------



## 2BAD4U (16 December 2008)

MS+Tradesim said:


> As a bonus she's hotter now than the day we met.




I've been married for 19 years and have found that the "women reach their peak latter than men" statement to be so true. Better now than when I was younger


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

You guys are so easy to stir up

The men can have their corner.  

Boys need to gather to feel safe and discuss.

Anyone going Gay?


----------



## chops_a_must (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> As all women (not alot of delineation going on here) are such dreadful humans.  Jump the fence boys - *The Gay life IS your answer*!!




Hey! Don't assume some of us haven't given it serious consideration!

It would be much much easier I reckon. Unfortunately, I'm not that way inclined.


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

chops_a_must said:


> Hey! Don't assume some of us haven't given it serious consideration!
> 
> It would be much much easier I reckon. Unfortunately, I'm not that way inclined.




You don't know until you try Chops


----------



## prawn_86 (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> You don't know until you try Chops




That's highly debatable and probably deserves it own thread


----------



## Cartman (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> You don't know until you try Chops




How do YOU know he wont know until he tries it Green ??? :  hmmm?

This is seriously the funniest thread on the forum  good stuff!!


----------



## Punisher (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> *The Gay life IS your answer*!!




That's not the solution.
Maybe a Muslim state would be more suitable for us because they know how to treat their women.


----------



## seasprite (16 December 2008)

After 14 years , I learnt the hard way in the first year or so .

So to all those young thrusters (lads) out there . If she asks you "do these make me look fat" . For God sakes , do not EVER say anything along the lines of "Yes" , "maybe" or even hesitate in your answer , a "No" counts as a patronizing answer .  Cause she has already loaded the shot gun and put on her invisible boxing gloves before she has asked the question . 

I have learnt to say , "that colour doesn't go with your shoes or top" and hoped like hell the next outfit was better.


----------



## robert toms (16 December 2008)

You are right ,one cannot even hint that the woman is putting on weight ,or has put on weight.
However when she wakes up that she has put on weight,the man gets "Why didn't you tell me that I was putting on weight,don't you even look at me"


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

Cartman said:


> How do YOU know he wont know until he tries it Green ??? :  hmmm?
> 
> This is seriously the funniest thread on the forum  good stuff!!




I'll answer the questions posed - 'not invading male space for the hell of it.'

Cartman if you walk into a gay night club you would be pretty sure to find someone interested in what you want.

Outside of that, I suppose who you know, the 'look', a bit of small talk geesh.

I would be suprised if a straight guy found another guy appealing and literally 'jumped' him for sex in public.  That would be amusing.


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

Punisher said:


> That's not the solution.
> Maybe a Muslim state would be more suitable for us because they know how to treat their women.




Ahhhh.  A True Radical Amoungst Us has unveiled himself for who he is.

Really, their mehods to treat their women are an example?  I do believe even men on this forum would disagree with your statement.

You're new. Are you a Muslim?  If so, do you live in Australia? If so, then wake up we live in a democracy not a Muslim state.  If you want to treat you wife like that, your choice and hopefully you will live in another country living in the dark ages.

Do you want to kill Australians too for any reason that doesn't fit with your mode of ideals?


----------



## nomore4s (16 December 2008)

Relax Green, I think it was a joke.

A good example of a woman going off on a different tangent :


----------



## electronicmaster (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> Ahhhh.  A True Radical Amoungst Us has unveiled himself for who he is.
> 
> Really, their mehods to treat their women are an example?  I do believe even men on this forum would disagree with your statement.
> 
> ...




Em,  you are getting way to heavy here I think Green08.


----------



## Cartman (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> I'll answer the questions posed - 'not invading male space for the hell of it.'
> 
> Cartman if you walk into a gay night club you would be pretty sure to find someone interested in what you want.
> 
> ...




You may have missed my point Green   ------- I was interested in how YOU knew someone would not know about something (being gay) unless they tried it .... UNLESS youve tried it yourself !! (ie where is your experience to make a comment like that 

ps this is all meant in gest so no serious answers please     actually you sound like a lovely girl I know who takes a lot of stuff literally when it is often said with tongue in cheek ---  that is a  nice quality that women have  ---  no sh*t ---- unlike us blokes who will talk crap all day long


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

nomore4s said:


> Relax Green, I think it was a joke.
> 
> A good example of a woman going off on a different tangent :




n42 - not goling off just want so clarification on that *strong statement*. Do you agree with it?   No offence taken, I'll live my life my way.  Not getting heated up, men assume so much if a woman asks questions.  

You'll never know who is joking and who isn't.  People will say what they want to cover themselves.

I just think that statement, even on this thread is over the top.  Interesting to see none of you guys oppose him or the statement.


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

Cartman said:


> You may have missed my point Green   ------- I was interested in how YOU knew someone would not know about something (being gay) unless they tried it .... UNLESS youve tried it yourself !! (ie where is your experience to make a comment like that



Read the other Thread on Homosexuality




> ps this is all meant in gest so no serious answers please     actually you sound like a lovely girl I know who takes a lot of stuff literally when it is often said with tongue in cheek ---  that is a  nice quality that women have  ---  no sh*t ---- unlike us blokes who will talk crap all day long



Lovely girl, why thank you Cartman I am.


----------



## mayk (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> n42 - not goling off just want so clarification on that *strong statement*. Do you agree with it?   No offence taken, I'll live my life my way.  Not getting heated up, men assume so much if a woman asks questions.
> 
> You'll never know who is joking and who isn't.  People will say what they want to cover themselves.
> 
> I just think that statement, even on this thread is over the top.  Interesting to see none of you guys oppose him or the statement.





Birds of a flock stick together (Joking).


On a serious note, can someone list the differences between a girlfriend and a wife. Do they change?


----------



## Knobby22 (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> n42 - not goling off just want so clarification on that *strong statement*. Do you agree with it?   No offence taken, I'll live my life my way.  Not getting heated up, men assume so much if a woman asks questions.
> 
> You'll never know who is joking and who isn't.  People will say what they want to cover themselves.
> 
> I just think that statement, even on this thread is over the top.  Interesting to see none of you guys oppose him or the statement.




Well I do. With a name like "Punisher" He sounds the violent time that gives the rest of us guys a bad name.


----------



## Punisher (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> Ahhhh.  A True Radical Amoungst Us has unveiled himself for who he is.
> 
> Really, their mehods to treat their women are an example?  I do believe even men on this forum would disagree with your statement.
> 
> ...




HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Got you hook line and sinker o' gullible one.
I am not religious, but my Muslim friends would be extremely upset with your comments.
As far as I am aware Muslims treat their women with respect, all Muslims I have associated with love their women, because they are real women.
Not impostors.
You are accusing all Muslims of being murderous swines.
My Muslim friends live in peace and harmony with each other and everybody else that's involved in their life.
Their women don't constantly beat down at man and whinge about everything they do and say, there is mutual respect and trust.
I gave you a nudge so hoping you would reveal yourself.
And you did.
This thread was started for a bit of jest, and then women get involved.
Maybe now its time to close the thread before other women get involved and things get out of hand.


----------



## nomore4s (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> n42 - not goling off just want so clarification on that *strong statement*. Do you agree with it?   No offence taken, I'll live my life my way.  Not getting heated up, men assume so much if a woman asks questions.
> 
> You'll never know who is joking and who isn't.  People will say what they want to cover themselves.
> 
> I just think that statement, even on this thread is over the top.  Interesting to see none of you guys oppose him or the statement.




We didn't oppose him because we saw it for what it was - a joke.

You are just giving all us men more ammo now:, you've come onto this thread and totally taken it off topic over some tongue in cheek comments.

This thread is abit of fun for us mere males to have a light hearted whinge over little things about the fairer sex that annoy us, doesn't mean we don't love our partners or respect women, just let us have our fun.


----------



## Cartman (16 December 2008)

Green08 said:


> Read the other Thread on Homosexuality
> 
> 
> 
> ...




Oky Doky ...... so you speak with experience         I stand corrected and humiliated 

OK Chops   You have to try it otherwise your comments mean sh*t  


I'm sure you are a nice girl !!    I'm nice too  lol               



Chops !!! How you going with those gay guys

ps I have gay friends too so no smart ar*e comments from anyone   lol

pps "Screw you guys Im going home" (Cartman)


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

Punisher said:


> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
> Got you hook line and sinker o' gullible one.
> I am not religious, but my Muslim friends would be extremely upset with your comments.
> As far as I am aware Muslims treat their women with respect, all Muslims I have associated with love their women, because they are real women.
> ...





HAHAHAH -you resound!  You're following answer sterotypes. Don't worry there aren't many women on this forum.  So you're one of these males that runs to the joke line, when it doesn't suit, very grown up.  

This is a PUBLIC forum and anyone in the world could read your comment and assume what I did maybe still do.

Muslim women are real women? Now that would be an burning thread! Interesting? I'm not beating them down. Just my questions to you for revealing a strong statement - in jest or not.

Why would they be opposed to my comments? They are living in Australia by choice so acceptance of others opinions male / female - hard though it maybe - would be a open minded thing. 

Never said "murderous swines" that is pretty heavy. Perhaps you haven't read other threads?  Probably not as you're technically "new" , could be an old poster with a new name and avatar to create spin.  Who knows?


----------



## Green08 (16 December 2008)

nomore4s said:


> This thread is abit of fun for us mere males to have a light hearted whinge over little things about the fairer sex that annoy us, doesn't mean we don't love our partners or respect women, just let us have our fun.




Ok (Clim Clim Bell) I now announce that from this point here on I will let the men and those becoming men and those that think they are men have their Fun with all responsibiltiy from their Fun on this thread directly linked to them and no assumption can be taken as a joke or not.  Especially as women "never get it" and take everything "hook, line and sinker" and only "Mulism Women are real".

Your wish is granted.  Enjoy


----------



## Bushman (16 December 2008)

nomore4s said:


> You are just giving all us men more ammo now:, you've come onto this thread and totally taken it off topic over some tongue in cheek comments.




Agreed. This thread is like a social experiment in the male:female dynamic. It has been extremely amusing and some of the interaction has been laced with irony. 

The inevitable conclusion - apart from the locker room there are no more male sanctums. Even in the seemingly anonymous and androgynous space that is cyberspace the modern gender rules are re-applied and we are harangued for expressing male viewpoints. Classic. 

Bradk - you are a modern day Alfred Kinsey.


----------



## nomore4s (16 December 2008)

I agree Bushman


One thing that really annoys me is when they just won't let things go.


----------



## electronicmaster (16 December 2008)

mmmmmmmmm, its time for some Coopers Ale 

Nice


----------



## GumbyLearner (16 December 2008)

Knobby22 said:


> Well I do. With a name like "Punisher" He sounds the violent time that gives the rest of us guys a bad name.




Probably not so Knobby22.

The Punisher of comic book/movie fame was just the dont crook me type.


----------



## glenn_r (16 December 2008)

chops_a_must said:


> Hey! Don't assume some of us haven't given it serious consideration!
> 
> It would be much much easier I reckon. Unfortunately, I'm not that way inclined.




Hells Bells after living, sleeping, eating and showering (communal) with men and a few tomboys for 20 odd years in the Army, I for one have no intention of getting it on with another hairy arsed guy, puke, it ain't natural IMO.

I also would have a problem with serving in army with a gay guy, but I bet the sales of soap on rope would go through the roof at the family store.

On the main point of this thread, I suggest guy's that you never, ever forget about "her" birthday, last year whilst flying into Singapore on the red eye, guess what I forgot my darlings birthday and buying a card and pressie after the fact did not stop her bringing it up during every discussion/argument since that day .....to which by the way I plead guilty to every time.


----------



## cuttlefish (16 December 2008)

Actually I think one thing Green's reaction does highlight is that men constantly and unrelentingly put sh*t on their mates.  Its sort of a male way of showing affection without having to get all touchy feely.  

If you had to run the politically correct, ethically correct, don't hurt my feelings, don't hurt his feelings ruler over every comment made it kind of kills the whole thing.

You know who your mates are - they're the ones that insult everything from your appearance, to your coordination skills, to your intellect.

"How's it going Bill - geez you look like sh*t what have you been up to?  Is that a pyjama shirt that your wearing?   Ahh ... nice job on the ironing  - wife away is she?  etc. etc."


----------



## BradK (16 December 2008)

Bushman said:


> Bradk - you are a modern day Alfred Kinsey.




Oh god no- but he was a bit of a nut... HOW did he know about children?  that guy is SUSPECT! 

Nah, I was just irked at some of the more double standardish things my wife does to me, the pop psych justification and - as someone said - the NEED to talk during news and sport! No bitterness, but plenty of resignation  

*IRONY ALERT:* tomorrow night I am leaving on a 3 day fishing trip with 4 of my mates!!!! yAHOOOO!!! Down to Thredo fly fishing in the morning, walking at midday, and off to some pub in Thredbo for the cricket from Perth in the afternoon and evening. 

Swimming, fishing, pissing.... awesome stuff! 

Cheers
Brad


----------



## nomore4s (16 December 2008)

BradK said:


> *IRONY ALERT:* tomorrow night I am leaving on a 3 day fishing trip with 4 of my mates!!!! yAHOOOO!!! Down to Thredo fly fishing in the morning, walking at midday, and off to some pub in Thredbo for the cricket from Perth in the afternoon and evening.
> 
> Swimming, fishing, pissing.... awesome stuff!
> 
> Cheers Brad




Man what are you whinging about then:


----------



## GumbyLearner (16 December 2008)

When choosing real estate my girls first priority are decor,
mine is this peace and quiet.


----------



## lindsayf (16 December 2008)

Wow! I think I am in love...are there more like you somewhere?  lol...you make so much feminine sense you should write a book.





Green08 said:


> Geez your divorce must be awful - better luck next time.
> 
> Love wearing gorgeous dress and stunning heels I know he loves it. I don't do it for adoration but self respect for the occasion.  I love my leathers for the bike and 90% get around in jeans and a T. It is the grooming and health respect yourself and others appreciate it. I love it when he is groomed shower, clean cloths  but he does it for himself I never say anything other than blue, black and green look sexy on him!
> 
> ...


----------



## BradK (16 December 2008)

OK... I just made, and I quote, 'a  **** dinner' - and apparently I did it on purpose. I didnt put the fan on in the oven. Moreover, she said she noticed it half way through the cooking of the meal! I said, then why didnt you bloody well turn it on? 

Yep... this thread is justified, for no other reason than IF I had of critqued her meal in such a manner, I'd be sleeping in the tent tonight! 

BTW - she is washing up right now! ... god I hope she doesnt find this thread! 
Brad


----------



## ColB (16 December 2008)

> Originally posted by *BradK*"...OK... I just made, and I quote, 'a **** dinner' - and apparently I did it on purpose. I didnt put the fan on in the oven. Moreover, she said she noticed it half way through the cooking of the meal! I said, then why didnt you bloody well turn it on?




Hey Brad, what were you cooking?  I've been married for 28 years and I just need to know because if I ever cook the missus a meal I need to know when you use the fan and when you don't  Thanks mate!  COLB


----------



## chops_a_must (16 December 2008)

Cartman said:


> How do YOU know he wont know until he tries it Green ??? :  hmmm?
> 
> This is seriously the funniest thread on the forum  good stuff!!




One girl I was dating for a while, had an obsession with getting in there.

"Why don't you want to try it? All my other boyfriends have enjoyed it!" Hahaha...

And then one night, lying in bed next to her, just as I'm drifting off to sleep, lying facing away from her, I hear and feel this buzzing in the sheets. I tell you what, I've never leapt so high from that position in my life. 

She was all different sorts of wrong that one. Some things just aren't meant to go in some places I reckon. At least my places. 

God knows what she did to me in my sleep...


----------



## Cartman (16 December 2008)

chops_a_must said:


> One girl I was dating for a while, had an obsession with getting in there.
> 
> "Why don't you want to try it? All my other boyfriends have enjoyed it!" Hahaha...
> 
> ...






Whoa    Your obviously hanging out with the wrong women Chops     Green sounds very nice    mmmmm??   maybe ?????


----------



## BradK (16 December 2008)

ColB said:


> Hey Brad, what were you cooking?  I've been married for 28 years and I just need to know because if I ever cook the missus a meal I need to know when you use the fan and when you don't  Thanks mate!  COLB




Roast veges - potatoes and pumpkin... if you want stuff not to get soggy, you need the fan. As a general rule - always use the fan! Lest the **** hits the fan!

Brad


----------



## chops_a_must (16 December 2008)

Cartman said:


> Whoa    Your obviously hanging out with the wrong women Chops




She certainly was an eye opener, that's for sure... I didn't realise you could do that with ginger.


----------



## Cartman (16 December 2008)

chops_a_must said:


> She certainly was an eye opener, that's for sure...




Sounds like she was trying to open more than your eyes ----  lol ------


Im whincing --------- 


ps good move not pursuing the relationship


----------



## chops_a_must (16 December 2008)

Cartman said:


> Sounds like she was trying to open more than your eyes ----  lol ------
> 
> 
> Im whincing ---------
> ...



Yeah, she was trying to open my brown eye as well.


----------



## Cartman (16 December 2008)

chops_a_must said:


> Yeah, she was trying to open my brown eye as well.




OUCH -----     I repeat  ------  "Screw you guys Im going home" -------lol


----------



## BradK (16 December 2008)

Hey chops! That's all a bit too much information - hahahahaha - FAR TOO much information!


----------



## Glen48 (16 December 2008)

Get you partner to answer these questions and see where you stand?
If your partner does not have any emotions you are sunk.



Add up the difference between your answer and your   partner’s 23 or less is Good.
If you pick A and partner picks E you score 4

1.	How tall are you
A  say quite tall
B above average
C about average
D below average
E quite short.

2.	Which describes you best:
A quite over weight
B a little over weight
C About average
D slim
E pretty skinny

3 You IQ
a Quite bright
b More intelligent than average
c about average
d bit below average
c Quite dull

4 Your appearance
a I am very attractive
b rather attractive
c about average
d  rather plain
e very plain

5 Sex drive
 a drive is pretty non-existent
b reasonably low
c about average
d above average
e insatiable

6 which is your favorite music
A Heavy metal or rap
b pop Beatles
c easy listening
d Sinatra
E jazz
E Classical or Opera

7 TV shows
A Game shows
B soap
C cop shows or comedies 
D serious drama
E news and Doco’s





8 Views on Chivalry
An Old fashion nonsense
B pretty undesirable
C it’s OK some times
D desirable quality
E essential part of life

9 View on drinking
A completely unacceptable
B ok for others
C I drink occasionally
D drink quite often
E I think I drink to much

10	Political views
A Far left
 B could label as left of center
C pretty neutral
D right of center
E far right

11	View on pr0n.
A it’s disgusting
B prefer to avoid it
C ok some times
D harmless fun
E great turn on.
12	Sexual fidelity
A essential
B it’s important
C odd lapse is ok
D think you have to expect affairs
E have an open and swinging r/ship

13	Foreign foods
A cant stand it
B I prefer plain food
C ok for a change
D I enjoy most foods
E I prefer foreign foods

14	View on parties
A prefer being alone
B small groups are ok
C a few parties are ok
D quite fond of them
E love wild parties.

15	View on smoking
A totally intolerable
B fairly undesirable
C ok for other people
D light smoker
E I am a heavy smoker.



16	View on religion
A active and committed
 B go to church some times
C worship in private
D not really religious
E say I was anti religion.

17 activate appeals to you the most
A relaxing sitting
B mild such as gardening
C walking 
D back packing
E football or running.

18 Think of children
A Dislike them
B other peoples are ok
C no strong feelings
D may want my own one-day
E definitely want my own

19 Money
A No you can’t buy happiness
B just enough to live
C I want to be comfy
D like to be rich
E want to be very rich

20 Best describe your r/ship you’d prefer
A casual friendship is fine
B lasting friendship
C short term
D intimate long term
E prefer marriage

21	Your job
A professional Doctor
B manager police inspector 
C Clerical admin, sales assistance
D manual trades
E non-skilled cleaner

22	Sexual experience
A I am a virgin
     B rather inexperienced 
C had no complaints so far
D experience lover
E hot stuff
23	Education
A ended at 16
B no further after leaving school
C some further education
D gradate degree from Uni TAFE
E Post graduate



24	Pets  
A hate them, allergic
B don’t really like them
C some I like other I don’t
D I enjoy if pracitable
E can’t imagine life with out  
25	Astrology
A total waste of time
B sceptical about it
C harmless fun
D probably some thing in it
E read horoscopes for guidance


----------



## Garpal Gumnut (16 December 2008)

I have been guilty of many sins,

Murmuring another girls name into an ear at the climactic moment,

Arranging to mistakenly meet 2 girls without my wife's knowledge at an ATAA conference in Sydney, and having to pay for an extra room, to keep them apart. Luckily the missus was overseas, otherwise it would have been 3 rooms.

A lass leaving her daks in a rented car and picking my wife up in same car from the mother in laws.

However the greatest sin for which I have been roasted is to 

LEAVE THE DUNNY LID UP AFTER A PEE AT NIGHT.

It makes all my other transgressions pale into insignificance.

All girls take this as a personal insult. 

Why is this ??

gg

What is it about leaving the seat up.

gg


----------



## Gundini (16 December 2008)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> What is it about leaving the seat up.
> 
> gg




Women like pretty things Garpal.

It is much prettier to view a toilet with the seat down than it is with it up.

Best to fold the toilet paper into corners too, this is a nice touch also!


----------



## Cartman (16 December 2008)

Gundini said:


> Women like pretty things Garpal.
> 
> 
> Best to fold the toilet paper into corners too, this is a nice touch also!




Before or after you use it


----------



## wayneL (17 December 2008)

I am surprised that nobody has mentioned the cyclic nature of women's moods.

In 25 years together, I know there are at least 3 or 4 days every month when I must agree with everything, no matter how absurd, leave the toilet seat up at my peril, and generally, just try to fade into the background and try not to be noticed. 

This is never successful by the way. It is inevitable that I am sprayed with invective over some triviality during this time. 

All other times however are fantastic, couldn't be happier.


----------



## Prospector (17 December 2008)

Surfer35 said:


> Plus she is elegant and doesn't feel like you are waking up next to a man as it does with Australian women.




Ya know, I had a chuckle at everyone's posts until I got to this one!  That is so goddam offensive! 



electronicmaster said:


> Why is it that I see woman responding on this thread?
> Can't they see the rules from the first post?
> Is there no escape for men?
> 
> I don't mind Woman reading and having a good laugh, but woman responding when told not to is just plain ignorant.




You dont learn, do you.  There are no rules.


----------



## Ashsaege (17 December 2008)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> What is it about leaving the seat up.




I think it is rude of them to make us put the seat down. Most of the time we don't use the seat... so wouldn't it be better if we didn't have to handle it all the time? If the seat was always left up, then the ladies can be confident that there wont be any splash back up on to the seat... or the rare sideways 2nd stream dribble.

At work Im constantly lifting the seat up and shivering... coz I know that seat would have had some shockers sit on it!... old lady's germs!


----------



## seasprite (17 December 2008)

You dont learn said:
			
		

> and then there is the "can you keep a secret" rule . Hell no !!! . The hand starts twitching as she looks at the telephone and says "hey honey can you go and get some milk down the shop".


----------



## Prospector (17 December 2008)

Ashsaege said:


> I think it is rude of them to make us put the seat down. Most of the time we don't use the seat... so wouldn't it be better if we didn't have to handle it all the time? If the seat was always left up, then the ladies can be confident that there wont be any splash back up on to the seat... or the rare sideways 2nd stream dribble.
> 
> At work Im constantly lifting the seat up and shivering... coz I know that seat would have had some shockers sit on it!... old lady's germs!




I went into the ladies yesterday and the seat was up   The thing about seats is that I dont like handling the seat after someone else has used it.  Yesteryday, I put the seat down with my feet!  I just dont like touching the seat.  It is also why I hate it when people put the lids down on the toilet, I hate lifting the lids up!


----------



## robert toms (17 December 2008)

My wife had a bad back at one stage and complained about having to put the toilet seat down after my use.I told her to use her foot if she could not bend...she told me to use my foot...I protested that I didn't have a foot.


----------



## Ashsaege (17 December 2008)

Prospector said:


> I went into the ladies yesterday and the seat was up   The thing about seats is that I dont like handling the seat after someone else has used it.  Yesteryday, I put the seat down with my feet!  I just dont like touching the seat.  It is also why I hate it when people put the lids down on the toilet, I hate lifting the lids up!




Well we can cut down the seat handling by 50% if only women were allowed to touch it. Women have got no choice - they have to sit on it and touch it. Men however only have to touch it if the seat is down. Less handling of the seat the better!
So if women made the effort of keeping the seat up after they use it, then the world will be a better place.

Fact: a stainless steel kitchen sink houses more germs than your toilet bowl. More you know!


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## wayneL (17 December 2008)

I wonder why we don't install urinals at home. Domestic bliss would surely follow.


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## nomore4s (17 December 2008)

wayneL said:


> I wonder why we don't install urinals at home. Domestic bliss would surely follow.




Who would clean them?

Probably cause even more problems, lol


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## peter2 (17 December 2008)

Why is it that women think that they can change their man's habits of a lifetime? 

Is this male behaviour modification a biological imperative?

The amazing thing about this is they don't start trying until after the marriage.


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## prawn_86 (17 December 2008)

peter2 said:


> The amazing thing about this is they don't start trying until after the marriage.




Your wrong on that one. I've been with my GF for 3 yrs and its been a constant battle not to change 

Although i must admit i have tried training her also...


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## Prospector (17 December 2008)

peter2 said:


> Why is it that women think that they can change their man's habits of a lifetime?



So, are you saying that, assuming men marry around 27 - 30 years, their habits are already lifetime ones?


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## Sean K (17 December 2008)

Prospector said:


> So, are you saying that, assuming men marry around 27 - 30 years, their habits are already lifetime ones?



Anecdotally, I would like to think that a man doesn't grow up until he's in his mid 30s.


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## cuttlefish (17 December 2008)

kennas said:


> Anacdotally, I would like to think that a man doesn't grow up until he's in his mid 30s.





Do we grow up at all?


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## prawn_86 (17 December 2008)

kennas said:


> Anecdotally, I would like to think that a man doesn't grow up until he's in his mid 30s.






cuttlefish said:


> Do we grow up at all?




Yeh my GF says im like living with a child. I tell her its not going to change


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## Ashsaege (17 December 2008)

prawn_86 said:


> Yeh my GF says im like living with a child. I tell her its not going to change




Is it because you giggle when you hear the word boobies?


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## prawn_86 (17 December 2008)

Ashsaege said:


> Is it because you giggle when you hear the word boobies?




Well i did just giggle when i read that post, so perhaps that is one of the reasons. lol


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## Ashsaege (17 December 2008)

prawn_86 said:


> Well i did just giggle when i read that post, so perhaps that is one of the reasons. lol




That's a good natural reaction! very healthy.

Imagine a world without boobies


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## chops_a_must (17 December 2008)

prawn_86 said:


> Your wrong on that one. I've been with my GF for 3 yrs and its been a constant battle not to change
> 
> Although i must admit i have tried training her also...




I think that's been the reason for just about everyone of my breakups.

I like reading until 4am on occasions! It's not because I don't like staying in bed with you, it's just what I do!


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## barney (17 December 2008)

prawn_86 said:


> Well i did just giggle when i read that post, so perhaps that is one of the reasons. lol




Ha!!  I "giggled" too ..... and I'm mid Century .................. 

Lets face it .... Men never grow up really ............... and women love it that way even though they won't admit it ............. It gives them something to "fix" ................... 

Geez, if I did everything my wife ever asked me, life would be dead boring ....... FOR HER!!!! ......... opposites attract ... thats life

ps I'll say it again ..... My wife is one in a million .................... Me, I'm about ....mmmmm ...... one in 10 ......    maybe 20 !!   (She thinks I'm better than that though, so who am I to spoil the party   lol  )

This thread has been brilliant ..... I vote Brad for thread of the year!!


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## classer (17 December 2008)

wayneL said:


> I wonder why we don't install urinals at home. Domestic bliss would surely follow.




its called the lemon tree


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## BradK (17 December 2008)

Im about 45 minutes from leaving to go on my fishing trip - and with the possibility of pitching a tent at midnight tonight in Thredbo in pitch black with forecast gusty winds and a thunderstorm - is MUCH better than the nagging im recieving right now!! 

Im going to have a King Lear moment tonight... 

Cheers
Brad


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## Prospector (17 December 2008)

I'm not into nagging!  I dont think I have ever done it. Or, maybe I have the perfect husband!   Maybe that's the answer.


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## Knobby22 (17 December 2008)

Ashsaege said:


> Is it because you giggle when you hear the word boobies?




My 5 year old son today (school next year) said if you have 3 mummys you have 2 boobies +2 boobies + 2boobies = 6 boobies.

I don't whether to be prud that his mathematics is coming along so well or to be scared that he has a boobie fixation at his age!!


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## Garpal Gumnut (17 December 2008)

Surfer35 said:


> Gents,
> 
> I am hearing all your complaints and once suffered the many exasperations you all do. The solution: Japan.
> 
> ...




Mate that is a bit offensive.

Do they have bindis in Japan?

gg


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## bluelabel (17 December 2008)

Ashsaege said:


> I hate it when the woman knows she is wrong in the current argument, but instead of admitting defeat, she will bring in problems from the past and throw them at you.




My wife is the queen of doing this. I have a solution for you. It took me 3 years to work out a way around it but I got it. When you are arguing and she brings up the past say "ah, ah, ah, ah. That is in the past darling, I am sorry you may not bring that into this argument. If you want to argue about that we will do that at a later date. For now, you are pissed at me tell me what the issue is."

Then she will get back on track for about a sentence or two then drift of into the past so you pull her up again and repeat the above. This will happen 7 or 8 maybe 15 times. Then eventually she won’t say anything and go all quite and you calmly ask her. "What is the issue darling?" to which you will get a reply along the line of "Can you put the toilet seat down when you are finished."

Bang, I win, every time. And in answer to the question, "yes I can put the toilet seat down but I am not going to. If I have to lift it, you can put it down."

The moral of the story is: you have to keep them focused guys, they are simple creatures, a little bit of something shiny and they are distracted for days.

Oh and one last thing... any gal who reads this needs their chain shortened. There are dishes to be done!!  


:bier:


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## MrBurns (17 December 2008)

bluelabel said:


> The moral of the story is: you have to keep them focused guys, they are simple creatures, a little bit of something shiny and they are distracted for days.
> Oh and one last thing... any gal who reads this needs their chain shortened. There are dishes to be done!!
> :bier:




Hate to say this but you think you've won but you havent you've actually dug your grave just that much deeper, she wont forget what you just did and thats fatal.

You see females are different, they produce other humans in their own bodies, they arent like you learn to live with them not manipulate them it's your only chance.

They are stronger mentally and physically they can replace you , their mate,  in a heartbeat , dont be fooled by the submissive smile.


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## refined silver (18 December 2008)

prawn_86 said:


> Yeh my GF says im like living with a child. I tell her its not going to change




A man marries expecting the woman not to change but she does!

A woman marries expecting the man to change but he doesn't!


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## Boggo (18 December 2008)

WOMAN'S POEM

Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.


MAN'S POEM

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This doesn't rhyme and I don't care


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## Rough_Trade (18 December 2008)

Oldies but goodies.


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## Ageo (18 December 2008)

Prospector said:


> I'm not into nagging!  I dont think I have ever done it. Or, maybe I have the perfect husband!   Maybe that's the answer.




Please enlighten us all blokes on how to be the perfect husband


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## Ashsaege (18 December 2008)

Boggo said:


> MAN'S POEM
> 
> I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This doesn't rhyme and I don't care




that was beautiful! It brought a tear to my eye


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## seasprite (18 December 2008)

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started...



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started...



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's licence to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realised I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.'

And then the fight started...





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------





My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself."

And then the fight started...

---------------------------------

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

------------------------------------

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started....

--------------------------------------------

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big. I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday

and then the fight started.....

---------------------------------------------

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.

Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.

The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man 'Holy crap. That must be my husband!'

So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and to his car as fast as he could go.

A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, 'I AM your husband!'

The woman yelled back, 'Yeah, then why were you running?'

And then the fight started.....

------------------------------------------------



I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"

And that's when the fight started....

- - -

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And that's when the fight started....

--------------------------------------------------------------------

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.'

and then the fight started...


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## white_crane (18 December 2008)

LMAO seasprite!


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## Gundini (18 December 2008)

What a classic! lol bump!


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## xyzedarteerf (19 December 2008)

Now for some eco friendly girls...


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## Boggo (19 December 2008)

Both male and female thought processes when male asks female to go for a drink.


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## kilgore (20 December 2008)

Yep, it was posted earlier in the thread, 

and the solution is basically to give up on the aussie chicks.

I've come around to the fact they are totally useless GFs, in a word. 

So far, I've dated an Austrian, a Swiss, a Singaporean, a Japanese and a Solomon Islander.

And ALL of them were WAY better than the dozens of aussie birds that have blundered their way through my life over the years.

I'm serious. My future family will definitely be bi-cultural.

kilgore


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## BradK (20 December 2008)

Back from the fishing trip - 3 days sitting around a camp fire, fishing, hiking and drinking beer with the boys. 

Very refreshed and ready to tackle once again the big relationship issues of life

Brad


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## Prospector (20 December 2008)

Ageo said:


> Please enlighten us all blokes on how to be the perfect husband




Hmm, well, he probably wouldnt be listing my faults on a forum on the internet.....<ducking for cover>

And kilgore, your comments about Australian women say more about you than anything else.


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## Glen48 (20 December 2008)

I went out with me Missus and she left him on the road.


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## Glen48 (20 December 2008)

Bloke comes home from work and asks his wife to cheer him up...well your penis is bigger than all your mates.


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## overit (6 April 2009)

Bump...

This is a very funny thread... so whats happening now? All sunshine and flowers?


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## stl_08 (7 April 2009)

Wow sounds like there are alot of pussy wipped guys on here, so naturaly I feel right at home!


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## nunthewiser (7 April 2009)

stl_08 said:


> Wow sounds like there are alot of pussy wipped guys on here, so naturaly I feel right at home!




ROFLMAO 


hahahahah speak for yourself darl 

but thanks for sharing


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