# What makes somebody "attractive"?



## gav (24 March 2009)

What makes somebody "attractive"?

The topic: "Why do models marry old ugly millionaires?" got me thinking...
Why are we so judgmental when it comes to attractiveness?

I used to get called "shallow" quite often because I only dated physically attractive women.  My other males I knew would be in relationships with people who would not be as good looking (but not ugly), who would be "smart with a good personality", or so they told me.  Yet these same guys read FHM/Ralph/Zoo, will stop and stare for a looong time when a good looking woman walks by (long enough to make them feel uncomfortable), and often go to the strippers.  But I'm the shallow one, yet I did none of these things...

1. What makes a person "attractive"?
2. Can you be more attracted to a person simply because they have more wealth/power or are of celebrity status?
3. Who are we to judge what someone finds attractive?
4. Is there a list of criteria you must meet to marry someone?
5. What are YOU attracted to?

*1. What makes a person "attractive"?*
Is it their looks, personality, selflessness, success, charm, power, money, celebrity status?  How can somebody be attracted to materialistic items like money?
*
2. Can you be more attracted to a person simply because they have more wealth/power or are of celebrity status?*
Do some qualities make up for others?  If you are famous or wealthy, then its OK that you aren't as good looking?  If you are a really nice person, then is it OK that you aren't successful? (and visa versa)
*
3. Who are we to judge what someone finds attractive?*
If you wrote out a list of the things you wanted in your ideal partner and you write "smart/intelligent", it is seen as being OK.  Yet if you write "good looking" (whatever your own definition of that is), you are seen as being shallow.  

We all have the ability to learn and expand our knowledge - no matter how smart or dumb we are.  But not everyone can be a brain surgeon.  Just as we all have the ability to improve our physical appearance - whether it be by diet/exercise, or by the way we present ourselves.  But not everyone can look like Brad Pitt or Scarlett Johansson.  Is being in a relationship with someone who is smart more important than being with someone who is good looking?  Why is this?  No one is perfect, but we all have the ability to improve on both aspects.  

*4. Is there a list of criteria you must meet to marry someone?*
Are there any laws, as to a criteria we must fit or abide by to marry someone?  If so, then can someone be charged with fraud if you can prove they married then divorced for money?  If there are no laws, why not?  Furthermore, if there are no laws, then why is it viewed by public as a negative thing when someone marries for money or other motives?

*5. What are YOU attracted to?*


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## Ageo (24 March 2009)

Gav you remind me of my brother inlaw, he's been a body builder and on the gear for yrs. His previous wife and now current wife all had to have great bodies, he also loves them showing it off (low skirt, short top etc...) personally i think he's a wanker  but he makes me laugh as he thinks good looks substitute for personality but i can see his new wife already not liking it. P.S did i mention the gear has killed his sex life? he goes on about how he can not have sex for months and he's so proud of it. 

Anywayz to answer your question of course looks creates the 1st meet but for long term is has to be personality.


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## gordon2007 (24 March 2009)

gav said:


> *5. What are YOU attracted to?*




Life and the ability to enjoy it.


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## gav (24 March 2009)

Ageo said:


> Gav you remind me of my brother inlaw, he's been a body builder and on the gear for yrs. His previous wife and now current wife all had to have great bodies, he also loves them showing it off (low skirt, short top etc...) personally i think he's a wanker  but he makes me laugh as he thinks good looks substitute for personality but i can see his new wife already not liking it. P.S did i mention the gear has killed his sex life? he goes on about how he can not have sex for months and he's so proud of it.
> 
> Anywayz to answer your question of course looks creates the 1st meet but for long term is has to be personality.




I never once said that any of my g/f's didn't have any personality, I just said they were good looking.  Where did I say good looks substitute personality?  My girlfriend is beautiful, but she is also also the most caring, sweetest human being I have ever met.  When out, she is covered from neck to toe, does not reveal much skin at all.  I like the way she dresses, and I don't like people gawking at her.  I won't give details about my sex life, but from the sound of it mine is much better than your brother in-law's.  It seems as if he needs to learn about PCT (Post Course Treatment).

Also, I compete in a natural bodybuilding federation and have never used any illegal performance enhancing substances in my life, nor do I intend to.  I have a government job which I would lose immediately if I used anything illegal.  There are also many other reasons I don't use gear, but that is totally irrelevant to this thread.  It doesn't seem like I have much in common with your brother in-law at all...

I started this thread to see what peoples thoughts were on what makes a person attractive, and listed those 5 questions to try and help get the ball rolling.  

Although I was hoping for something a little more thought provoking, I do agree with your last sentence -_* "Anywayz to answer your question of course looks creates the 1st meet but for long term is has to be personality."*_


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## gav (24 March 2009)

gordon2007 said:


> Life and the ability to enjoy it.




I agree, definitely an attractive quality.


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## overit (24 March 2009)

*Boobs!* Thats a good place to start! 

Works for me! Sorry if you were after something deep and meaningful! 

Example!


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## gav (24 March 2009)

overit said:


> *Boobs!* Thats a good place to start!
> 
> Works for me! Sorry if you were after something deep and meaningful!
> 
> Example!




LOL! Definitely no need to apologise


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## darnsmall (24 March 2009)

gav said:


> What makes somebody "attractive"?
> 
> The topic: "Why do models marry old ugly millionaires?" got me thinking...
> Why are we so judgmental when it comes to attractiveness?
> ...




5.
She has to be under 55kgs
great personality
No love handles
great face
great ****
great body
great dress sense
not succumb to stupid sheep style fashions eg, 80's revival, roman sandles, wearing sacks,
respects and cares about herself


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## Naked shorts (24 March 2009)

Petite girls who don't listen to f**king hiphop.


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## xyzedarteerf (24 March 2009)

Here's what's attractive to me.

1. Intelligence

2. Personality

3. Sense of Humor 

4. Plays Games





5. Cares for the Environment


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## gav (24 March 2009)

OK I'll attempt to answer/give my opinion on a few of the other questions:

*2. Can you be more attracted to a person simply because they have more wealth/power or are of celebrity status?*
To me, being famous, having wealth/power would mean absolutely nothing when considering how "attractive" someone is.  Some of these things can really be a benefit eg. if your partner is wealthy it may make life easier for you.  But some of these things can be a hindrance too.  They mean absolutely nothing to me, but may mean something to someone else...
*
3. Who are we to judge what someone finds attractive?*
I am guilty of this on the other thread. I cant comprehend that Kristy Hinze would be physically attracted to Jim Clark, but that does not necessarily mean she isn't.  I think Kristy is gorgeous, but the fact she spends $53,000 on "weekly expenses" makes her very unattractive in my eyes.  
*
4. Is there a list of criteria you must meet to marry someone?*
I have no idea if there are any laws in place as to meeting any criteria before marriage.  But if there are, and you can prove that someone married and then divorced for money or other ulterior motives (tough job proving that though), then they should be charged with fraud.  If there are no such laws, then why is it morally frowned upon by the general community when someone marries for reasons other than love?

*5. What are YOU attracted to?*
Some of the responses to this question have been funny so far, but here's mine:
- There has to be a physical attraction: being healthy and fit is important to me, and takes up a very large portion of my life.  I am attracted to people who care about their health and fitness too.  Physically, generally I'm attracted to petite, toned women.
- I don't really care how smart someone is, as long as I can have interesting conversations with them
- Personality: I find I am attracted to people who are sweet, modest and care about others.  But does not care too much about materialistic items (eg. clothes), and would prefer to go to dinner and a movie rather than out partying/drinking.
- Their job or financial position is of no concern.  As long as they enjoy their work, or are working to find something they do enjoy.
- Understands how important bodybuilding is to me and is supportive.

It may sound stupid, but a few yrs ago after a bad relationship I decided I would remain single unless I could met someone who met all the qualities I mentioned above.  I thought there was absolutely no chance of it happening, and was quite content to spend the rest of my days single (rather funny considering my age!).  However 2yrs ago I did meet someone who met all the criteria above.  I guess I'm just very lucky!


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## Joe Blow (24 March 2009)

Some posts have been removed from this thread due to their offensive nature.

Just a reminder to please think before you post. There is no need for sexist or demeaning remarks on ASF and posts that contain them will be removed.


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## Gundini (25 March 2009)

yep, I'm good with that, but I'm better with this:


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## Calliope (25 March 2009)

*charm*

It is not easy to define. J.M.Barrie had a go;



> It's a sort of bloom on a woman. If you have it you don't need to have anything else; and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter what else you have.




A woman with charm can get anything she wants. I also applies with men.


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## prawn_86 (25 March 2009)

Just talking about physically, for me, height is a big factor. If you had 2 women that looked similar in the face/body etc i would go for the taller one every time.


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## Sir Osisofliver (25 March 2009)

gav said:


> What makes somebody "attractive"?
> 
> The topic: "Why do models marry old ugly millionaires?" got me thinking...
> Why are we so judgmental when it comes to attractiveness?
> ...




1. What makes a person "attractive"?
I need someone who has a lot of similar characteristics and interests as myself. 

2. Can you be more attracted to a person simply because they have more wealth/power or are of celebrity status?
Perhaps... I'm sure that if Scarlet Johansen and I were dating I'd be saying to my mates.  "Guess who *I'm*. 

3. Who are we to judge what someone finds attractive?
We shouldn't...ever. 

4. Is there a list of criteria you must meet to marry someone?
I think if you have to tick off a list of characteristics for some preconceived notion of "rightness" you shouldn't get hitched.  "_Being the One is like being in Love, you either know it, or you don't, balls to bone_"

5. What are YOU attracted to?
A pulse


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## Sean K (25 March 2009)

Amongst the other obvious things, confidence.


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## MrBurns (25 March 2009)

white_goodman said:


> ok i generally look for these 5 qualities...
> 
> 1) intelligent - ie someone thats remotely as smart as me (hard to find in northern beaches)
> 2) pretty face
> ...





Roots well ???????? As men do most of the work you would be responsible for any bad rooting


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## Stormin_Norman (25 March 2009)

How economics can get you a date : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JpU9XrQqYzc


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## MrBurns (25 March 2009)

My father once said good looks come from the inside.

A good looking person who is really dumb or has a really bad personality is not attractive, a good looking person who is quick, clever and bubbly is gorgeous.

I dont find Elle Mc Pherson attractive but her sister is really nice.

Geez the more I go on the less i think I know about this but an old friend of mine who had teeth like Freddy Mercury, he could eat an apple through a picket fence once said ,"no matter what you look like there's always someone who digs ya" 
His girlfriend was a stunner.


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## Sean K (25 March 2009)

MrBurns said:


> I dont find Elle Mc Pherson attractive but her sister is really nice.



Yeah, Mimi was a much better performer on film.


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## darnsmall (25 March 2009)

MrBurns said:


> My father once said good looks come from the inside.
> 
> A good looking person who is really dumb or has a really bad personality is not attractive, a good looking person who is quick, clever and bubbly is gorgeous.
> 
> ...




Yeah agreed, they need to be hot, smoking hot, damn hot, and smart/have a great personality.
Too often people try and kid themselves that personality is king, not too sure why, maybe they think they're ugly and can't judge? no idea, it doesn't make sense. perhaps people putting all their faith in personality is why relationships deteriorate and peeps become unfaithful? maybe not.
Its an interesting and bizarre characteristic of us Aussies.


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## dan-o (25 March 2009)

No matter how good looking someone is, i think their personailty needs to be better than their looks. With hot girls the bar is set pretty high, so i often feel let down...


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## Temjin (25 March 2009)

I'm going to reply based on the materials I have..."followed" several years ago. (before I am in a relationship that is!)

Here is a list of personality traits that are considered "attractive" to all women regardless of backgrounds and looks. Of course, each women IS different and would be more attracted to a combination of traits over others. 



> • Funny. Humor is just plain powerful with women. If you can keep her laughing, you will go far.
> 
> • Intelligent and Creative. Intelligence is sexy IF it’s used in a way that’s interesting to her. Use your creativity and intelligence to surprise her with ideas, fantasies, and unexpected things that charm her.
> 
> ...




From David Angelo materials, DoubleDating.com

Remember attraction IS NOT a choice. Most women would NOT admit they are attracted to certain traits they would previously consider to be NON-marriage material. But they are attracted to them unconsiciously anyway. It's built into their genes. And attraction is not logical as well.


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## gav (25 March 2009)

Good post Temjin...


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## MrBurns (25 March 2009)

gav said:


> Good post Temjin...




It is , I've copied it into a word doc, just in case


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## insider (25 March 2009)

My belief is Attraction isn't a Choice... You may have preferences such as big boobies and coke bottle figure but if she was drop kick and a COW (Center of the World) I'd be over her in a flash... Do not confuse preferences for attractiveness.... That's what everyone does...

"If a girl isn't attracted to you then there is nothing you can do but if she is attracted to you then there is nothing she can do" David DeAngelo

That is so true...

For guys we need to be Fun, Adventurous, Highly Social and dress well... And very Importantly be Ambitious... You don't need money but it certainly can help...

You know what this applies to girls too... Enough said before I write a book on this topic...


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## insider (25 March 2009)

Temjin said:


> I'm going to reply based on the materials I have..."followed" several years ago. (before I am in a relationship that is!)
> 
> Here is a list of personality traits that are considered "attractive" to all women regardless of backgrounds and looks. Of course, each women IS different and would be more attracted to a combination of traits over others.
> 
> ...




Inned to work  the Dominant one just because I'm not around any one social group long enough to exert it... His material is the bomb


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## MRC & Co (25 March 2009)

Hot first, have to be physically attracted to them.

Caring and nurturing.

Likes sports.

Has her own interests other than the next issue of Cosmepolitan (spelling)!  Had my fair share of them and was bored out of my brain quick.  

Confidence helps too, but not the kind where she thinks she's hot and chews her gum with an open mouth!  Hate those ones.


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## alwaysLearning (25 March 2009)

Symmetry is what makes a person 'physically' attactive.

But i've found that personality can really turn me on more than anything. You know those really cheerful girls who are always bright and cheerful. I like those chicks the most.


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## Timmy (25 March 2009)

I want a girl with a short skirt and a long jacket.


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## Kez180 (25 March 2009)

It certainly isn't spending 23hrs straight on a uni assignment wearing track pants, ugg boots and a melbourne demons scarf with no showering, no hint of a toothbrush and about 5 cans of red bull....

The ladies have been giving me a WIDE berth....

~Kieran

EDIT: I am in the uni computer labs, not at home BTW...


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## Bill M (25 March 2009)

Sorry Gav, not what you asked for but Simon Baker (The Mentalist) has just been voted sexist man on TV in the USA. Seems just like an ordinary bloke to me.
---------------

*Aussie hunk Simon Baker has ended Patrick Dempsey's two-year reign as the sexiest man on television.*

FULL STORY HERE


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## Smurf1976 (25 March 2009)

Looks matter in the short term but you pretty much forget about that in the long term where personality becomes far more important.


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## MrBurns (25 March 2009)

Pheromones have something to do with it too, If you smell like her father you're in.
Not sure what thats supposed to mean but perhaps it's a Tasmanian or Texan thing.


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## gav (25 March 2009)

Bill M said:


> Sorry Gav, not what you asked for but Simon Baker (The Mentalist) has just been voted sexist man on TV in the USA. Seems just like an ordinary bloke to me.
> ---------------
> 
> *Aussie hunk Simon Baker has ended Patrick Dempsey's two-year reign as the sexiest man on television.*
> ...




It still fits in the topic.  The world must love Aussie guys, wasn't Hugh Jackman voted the world's sexiest man recently?


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## gav (25 March 2009)

MrBurns said:


> It is , I've copied it into a word doc, just in case




Haha, well I thought it was interesting - even though I don't agree with it.

Make sure you get Smithers to read it to you daily... :


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## MrBurns (25 March 2009)

gav said:


> Haha, well I thought it was interesting - even though I don't agree with it.
> 
> Make sure you get Smithers to read it to you daily... :




Whats not to agree with ?

It seems to have everything that I've always thought but never actally thought deeply about, that list seems to detail it all.

Smithers is off to some mardi gras or something, having a gay old time no doubt.


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## Wysiwyg (25 March 2009)

Yeah I like a well shaped female body with a philosophical leaning and a love of nature.

p.s. How much? :


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## MRC & Co (25 March 2009)

alwaysLearning said:


> Symmetry is what makes a person 'physically' attactive.




Have to say, that is the biggest BS myth I have ever seen.

I've read studies of this, where they disprooved it.

It showed numerous photos of a copy of somebodies right side, and then perfect symmetry generated on the left side of the face and vice-versa.

And other complete and utter natural photos of them, where naturally, they were not symmetrical at all, many of the times, they were far more attractive and the vast majority of those surveyed thought the same.  

If you have a big nose, a tiny chin, puffy cheecks, and a receeding hairline as a man, symmetry of both sides is not going to make it look any better


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## white_goodman (25 March 2009)

alwaysLearning said:


> Symmetry is what makes a person 'physically' attactive.





reminds me of the office episode about hilary swank


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## overit (26 March 2009)

If I have to do everything on Temjin's list to attract a woman I would like something in return. Here is the good wife's guide from 1955. This should put us about equal.


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## ojm (26 March 2009)

overit said:


> If I have to do everything on Temjin's list to attract a woman I would like something in return. Here is the good wife's guide from 1955. This should put us about equal.




Always love seeing that article. How things have changed. Now I just need to get working on this point with the girlfriend - "remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours" and get her interested in stocks/investing .


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## nunthewiser (26 March 2009)

female and dad owns a brewery


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## Temjin (26 March 2009)

ojm said:


> Always love seeing that article. How things have changed. Now I just need to get working on this point with the girlfriend - "remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours" and get her interested in stocks/investing .




Hahaha great article too, a shocking differences from modern worlds. Though it may still be regarded as normal in some part of the world. Certain places in China for example. 

Personally, I think being "confident" is the way to go. It kills three birds with one stone where as firstly, you are naturally attractive to all women around you, secondly, it ampifies some of the other traits on the same list and thirdly, you build up a healthy mindset (as long as you aren't OVER confidence) that could potentially make your life much "happier". 

I have to say it's been working wonder to me so far.  Though I have "tuned" down expressing those traits TO OTHER GIRLS since I am in a really good relationship with my current gf.


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## Sean K (26 March 2009)

Being 'confident' also means being at peace with yourself. Being happy. Nothing more attractive to me than a happy person. They generally exude a type of aura that is hard to define, but aura will do. I'm attracted to aura!


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## Temjin (26 March 2009)

gav said:


> Haha, well I thought it was interesting - even though I don't agree with it.
> 
> Make sure you get Smithers to read it to you daily... :




Yeah, I'm interested to know what you don't agree with.



			
				kennas said:
			
		

> Being 'confident' also means being at peace with yourself. Being happy. Nothing more attractive to me than a happy person. They generally exude a type of aura that is hard to define, but aura will do. I'm attracted to aura!




Okay, I should go and get my aura photograph taken and make a t-shirt out of it. hahah  And yes, it's definitely hard to describe why confident is attractive.


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## Calliope (26 March 2009)

Benjamin Franklin's advice to a young friend; 



> But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
> 
> 1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds are better stor'd with Observations, their Conversation is more improving and more lastingly agreable.
> 
> ...


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## Sean K (26 March 2009)

Temjin said:


> Okay, I should go and get my aura photograph taken and make a t-shirt out of it. hahah



Whatever it is I saw it in my wife the first day we met. Have never been apart since.


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## Snakey (26 March 2009)

Can  you believe it?  



This guy wins $181 million in the lottery on a Wednesday, 

and then finds the love of his life just 2 days  later.





Talk  about LUCK!!!!


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## gav (26 March 2009)

MrBurns said:


> Whats not to agree with ?
> 
> It seems to have everything that I've always thought but never actally thought deeply about, that list seems to detail it all.
> 
> Smithers is off to some mardi gras or something, having a gay old time no doubt.




OK I don't believe a few of the things on that list.  

You dont need to be"educated" to attract women.  What difference does it make if you only finished year 10, or have 3 PHD's?  I don't see how it makes you any more or less attractive.

You don't need to be "classy and cultured", or understand interior design, colour contrast, like Frank Sinatra, watch foreign films or be into fashion.  In fact I think its the opposite.  Men with those traits tend to attract women as "just friends", rather than anything else.

There is a big difference between being into fashion, and knowing how to dress.  Simply wear decent clothes when you go out, and be well groomed.  You dont need to follow fashion at all.  Following fashion/keeping up with trends is actually quite pathetic.

As for the confidence/cocky part, that is defiinitely true.  However you can still go way overboard and women seem to like it (I can only speak from my own experience).  After a break about 4yrs ago, I went through a period of a few months where I just went out with my mates and treated girls like crap.  I'd be arrogant and rude to them, and I had more female attention in those few months than I had had in my entire life.

I also think that females are just as shallow (if you'd call it that) when it comes to looks as men are.  How you physically look is very important.  Obviously there will be some women and some men who don't care as much, but the majority do (even if they won't admit it).


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## MrBurns (26 March 2009)

gav said:


> OK I don't believe a few of the things on that list.
> 
> You dont need to be"educated" to attract women.  What difference does it make if you only finished year 10, or have 3 PHD's?  I don't see how it makes you any more or less attractive.
> 
> ...




Yeah I'd go along with that, I didnt really look that closely at the detail, the main thrust is pretty much spot on though.


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## Sean K (26 March 2009)

Snakey said:


> Can  you believe it?
> 
> Talk  about LUCK!!!!



He seems to have some nice breasts, I can't see the problem..


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## Snakey (26 March 2009)

kennas said:


> He seems to have some nice breasts, I can't see the problem..



 Yes Kennas he should do modeling ...dont know why he went with that hideous woman


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## Temjin (26 March 2009)

gav said:


> OK I don't believe a few of the things on that list.




I guess I didn't emphasis on a particular point David DeAngelo made when he created that list. (or the materials he teach) 

He said that the list of traits have elements of "attractiveness" universal to all womens regardless of backgrounds and cultures. However, it does not necessary mean any one of them would work at all to a particular woman. Certain combinations may be better than others, and some may even not work at all. So he acknowledges that everyone is unique and are attracted to different things.

Thus, there is no "fixed" formulas on which list of the traits you need to possess in order to better "attract" a women. The more you have, the better chance you have from the "pack" of man. You would only focus on what has worked for you so far and leverage on the strength. 

If being confident and cocky works in attracting women for you, then continue to be so.


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## nunthewiser (26 March 2009)

Snakey said:


> Can  you believe it?
> 
> 
> 
> ...





ROFL.................hahahahahaha


blessim


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## MrBurns (26 March 2009)

overit said:


> If I have to do everything on Temjin's list to attract a woman I would like something in return. Here is the good wife's guide from 1955. This should put us about equal.




Here's the more realistic version -


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## gouryella (26 March 2009)

*1. What makes a person "attractive"?*
As everybody knows, it differs from person to person. Whether we like it or not, for most people looks are at least mildly important.

*2. Can you be more attracted to a person simply because they have more wealth/power or are of celebrity status?*
Definitely! I used to work with a girl who recently got married to a guy who you wouldn't call classically handsome. If he wasn't the most attractive guy out there, then what qualities did he possess that allowed him to net her?

He is very successful (near the top of the food chain) in his chosen career, earns quite a lot of money and is a great communicator. Since an early age she had set a certain criteria, those being:

- That he would be the sole provider of income while she was a housewife and would not return to work
- That he would hold a position of power
- That he wanted a large family
- She would be the more attractive member in the relationship

In this case, she got what she wanted in a successful partner who would allow her to never work another day in her life, allowing her to be a 'nester' and have a large family. Also, being the more attractive one, that made her feel validated and secure within herself.

*3. Who are we to judge what someone finds attractive?*
I don't really concern myself about what others find attractive, definitely not verbally anyway. You might say that what I have said above contradicts this, what I have said above is just an observation. I am happy that they have both found their ideal partner.

*4. Is there a list of criteria you must meet to marry someone?*
Upright and breathing, sometimes that is a stretch. As we see in the news, almost anything goes.

*5. What are YOU attracted to?*
Obviously I wouldn't be attracted to somebody with a face like a dropped pie, but they don't have to be Jessica Alba to be attractive to me. Some women I find attractive for different reasons.

They have a great personality. Some people are just fun to be around, you connect with, can relate to and feel comfortable with. A sense of humor is certainly a positive.

They take an interest in their health and wellbeing. They don't have to be a fitness or health freak, but should realise the importance of looking after their body and health.

They don't feel the need to always go out drinking and clubbing or whatever just to be seen or please their friends. There are other activities like going out to dinner/movies, fun/outdoor activities or just spending time together at home.

There are different kinds of 'smart'. Some people are 'book smart', being that they are scholarly and do well at school/uni. While others are 'real-world smart' and can see the world for what it is and know how to use it to their advantage.


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## Sean K (26 March 2009)

gouryella said:


> they don't have to be Jessica Alba to be attractive to me.



I'll take JA off your hands when your done. Cheers!


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## gouryella (26 March 2009)

kennas said:


> I'll take JA off your hands when your done. Cheers!




Not so fast! :nono:

She's also a really nice girl... she's a keeper, I think I'll hold onto her


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## Wysiwyg (26 March 2009)

kennas said:


> I'll take JA off your hands when your done. Cheers!




Nice style Kennas.


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## alwaysLearning (26 March 2009)

MRC & Co said:


> Have to say, that is the biggest BS myth I have ever seen.
> 
> I've read studies of this, where they disprooved it.
> 
> ...




I read about symmetry and attractiveness in a scientific american mag.

Anyway it probably all comes down to conditioning. There are guys out there that look bad according to symmetry and still get the hottest chicks. This means that there are others factors that make up attraction other than purely looks.

If people are 'conditioned' into thinking that a certain face type is attractive, then obviously if they are shown pictures of faces those that match their conditioning will be attractive to them.

The reason that symmetry is considered to be attractive for most people is that that is what we see in the media all the time from when we are young to when we die.

There have been many studies into symetry and attractiveness. One of the more recent studies applied fib ratios to faces of anjelina jolie and found the ratios to be remarkably accurate. 

Anyway it's good to see that there are other studies out there that prove the opposite side as well since that's what good scientific debate is about.


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## gav (26 March 2009)

Temjin said:


> I guess I didn't emphasis on a particular point David DeAngelo made when he created that list. (or the materials he teach)
> 
> He said that the list of traits have elements of "attractiveness" universal to all womens regardless of backgrounds and cultures. However, it does not necessary mean any one of them would work at all to a particular woman. Certain combinations may be better than others, and some may even not work at all. So he acknowledges that everyone is unique and are attracted to different things.




Understandable.



Temjin said:


> Thus, there is no "fixed" formulas on which list of the traits you need to possess in order to better "attract" a women. The more you have, the better chance you have from the "pack" of man. You would only focus on what has worked for you so far and leverage on the strength.
> 
> If being confident and cocky works in attracting women for you, then continue to be so.




When I was "arrogant/cocky", it was only for a short time and due to being in a not very nice state of mind after a bad break up.  I'm not like that, and would never be anything but myself if trying to impress "Miss Right".  No point pretending you are something you are not.  It worked for me, been with her nearly 2yrs and never been happier


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## alwaysLearning (26 March 2009)

gav said:


> Understandable.
> 
> 
> 
> When I was "arrogant/cocky", it was only for a short time and due to being in a not very nice state of mind after a bad break up.  I'm not like that, and would never be anything but myself if trying to impress "Miss Right".  No point pretending you are something you are not.  It worked for me, been with her nearly 2yrs and never been happier




Being cocky funny works because you are operating from a different frame from what most women are used to.

Usually women see a guy who is trying to 'impress her' etc. This puts the guy on the back foot and is perceived to be weak.

The guy who is confident and a little cocky/funny is a breath of fresh air. All of a sudden SHE needs to find a way to impress YOU. So the frame is completely different.

But women can smell fake confidence a mile away if you are putting on an 'act'.


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## MrBurns (26 March 2009)

> =gav;413736]No point pretending you are something you are not.




Correct, you might like a girl and go all out to get her by being what you think she likes, it all comes undone in the end......any wonder.


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## Julia (26 March 2009)

Most of this thread seems to be about what you blokes consider attractive in women.  Haven't noticed too many of you wondering what women find attractive in men!!

Thought you might like to know about an item on ABC Radio this evening where a "scientific test" was carried out as follows:

A number of women were shown a photograph of a bloke sitting in a very upmarket car and asked if they thought he was attractive.  
They all agreed that he was very attractive indeed.

Some time later they were shown a photograph of the very same bloke sitting in a beat up old car and again asked if they thought this man was attractive.
None of the women thought he was attractive.

You may draw your own conclusions.


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## Garpal Gumnut (26 March 2009)

Julia said:


> Most of this thread seems to be about what you blokes consider attractive in women.  Haven't noticed too many of you wondering what women find attractive in men!!
> 
> Thought you might like to know about an item on ABC Radio this evening where a "scientific test" was carried out as follows:
> 
> ...




My conclusion is that women are very sensible at evaluating mates, but often come undone by the presentation of males, thus often make bad choices.

However it all comes down to dna and as long as it continues to mingle and reproduce it is of little consequence.

gg


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## Temjin (26 March 2009)

gav said:


> When I was "arrogant/cocky", it was only for a short time and due to being in a not very nice state of mind after a bad break up.  I'm not like that, and would never be anything but myself if trying to impress "Miss Right".  No point pretending you are something you are not.  It worked for me, been with her nearly 2yrs and never been happier




Agree, I don't recommend anyone to force themselves in order to inherit those traits. However, slowly trying to pick them up as a habit would be more probable over time. 

I remember when I was a needy, not-so-confidence guy back in university who was trying my best to impress girls to no availability. It was only when I came across to learn from the pros till I start to make significant changes to myself, both habits and the mindset. Being more confidence and less needy was my major goal, and become easier and easier as my network of friends has become predominately full of females.  

It's the same goes for being "cocky & funny". I no longer feel the need to impress any girls at all, or be nice to them. In a way, I don't give a crap what they think of me. I just do what I want to do and say what I want to say. I get to the stage where I can feel a little sorry to guys who try their very best to impress a particular gal and still wonder why they aren't getting the result. For example, in facebook/myspace, you have guys who send comments to another gal profile on a photo taken together explaining how lucky they were or how pretty you were, etc. I simply shake my heads with these guys...they really need to get a clue! 



			
				alwaysLearning said:
			
		

> Being cocky funny works because you are operating from a different frame from what most women are used to.
> 
> Usually women see a guy who is trying to 'impress her' etc. This puts the guy on the back foot and is perceived to be weak.
> 
> ...




Spot on!

I agree with the last part that women have a natural biological radar to detect "BSing" and "needy behaviours" from a trillion miles away. Guys are simply too obvious in their intention.


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## alwaysLearning (26 March 2009)

Julia said:


> Most of this thread seems to be about what you blokes consider attractive in women.  Haven't noticed too many of you wondering what women find attractive in men!!
> 
> Thought you might like to know about an item on ABC Radio this evening where a "scientific test" was carried out as follows:
> 
> ...




Ohhh lol. That's some interesting research though hahahaha......

edit: I wonder what a typical feminist would say about that study?


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## insider (27 March 2009)

Julia said:


> Most of this thread seems to be about what you blokes consider attractive in women.  Haven't noticed too many of you wondering what women find attractive in men!!
> 
> Thought you might like to know about an item on ABC Radio this evening where a "scientific test" was carried out as follows:
> 
> ...




What the study forgot to show was the same guy in a ute, a singlet and a tool belt... "HmmmHmmm better than a Bentley" they'd say...

Girls love active guys... Remember you are targetting their arch types...


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## insider (27 March 2009)

Temjin said:


> I agree with the last part that women have a natural biological radar to detect "BSing" and "needy behaviours" from a trillion miles away. Guys are simply too obvious in their intention.




I have come to realize that most women are full of crap themselves so their opinion of me no longer matters... I do and feel what I like now... I was stuck at this belief for a long time... I don't act needy by the way...

All this pickup material is good to set you off in the right direction but you need to practise just being a good person... Talking to strangers is really really important... That's something David Deangelo doesn't talk about... You need to talk and be friendly to the people behind the counter at the food court for example... People around you will notice you getting better treatment and think "wow who is that?" Works a charm for me...

Just tonight a dude who works at a burger joint just invited me to go rock climbing... Does the person who makes your sandwiches ask you out to do cool things? Then you need to get to know them if they don't...


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## insider (27 March 2009)

Here is a link to a thread I made up about cars and chicks

https://www.aussiestockforums.com/forums/showthread.php?t=6118


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## MRC & Co (27 March 2009)

Looks like a few too many here have been reading that junk book called 'the game' written by a few no hopers I once met many years before they became 'famous PUAs' LOL, what a joke they are, with these 'cocky and funny' comments.


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## MrBurns (27 March 2009)

It's a hard world -


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## Temjin (27 March 2009)

MRC & Co said:


> Looks like a few too many here have been reading that junk book called 'the game' written by a few no hopers I once met many years before they became 'famous PUAs' LOL, what a joke they are, with these 'cocky and funny' comments.




Perhaps you should release a book that could explain this stuff better than they are?

It works for me and now I am in a really good relationship.


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## nunthewiser (27 March 2009)

What makes somebody "attractive"?


 ME


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## Wysiwyg (27 March 2009)

nunthewiser said:


> What makes somebody "attractive"?
> 
> 
> ME




Sheesh nun, you`re getting a bit full of yourself again.


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## nunthewiser (27 March 2009)

Wysiwyg said:


> Sheesh nun, you`re getting a bit full of youself again.




um ....... yes


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## Julia (27 March 2009)

nunthewiser said:


> What makes somebody "attractive"?
> 
> 
> ME



I thought the convent was supposed to breed modesty???


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## nunthewiser (27 March 2009)

Julia said:


> I thought the convent was supposed to breed modesty???




....... my misplaced humour can be read 2 ways


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## MRC & Co (28 March 2009)

Temjin said:


> Perhaps you should release a book that could explain this stuff better than they are?
> 
> It works for me and now I am in a really good relationship.




These guys are cashing in on forums where the information is FREE where MUCH better NATURAL "PUAs" posted for many years.  Unfortunately, many idiots who read their books end up way overdoing it, because these guys overdo it themselves. 

Read sosuave.com, though even that site turned to sh*t when all these kids started trying to replicate "Tyler Dirten" (spelling).


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## Temjin (29 March 2009)

MRC & Co said:


> These guys are cashing in on forums where the information is FREE where MUCH better NATURAL "PUAs" posted for many years.  Unfortunately, many idiots who read their books end up way overdoing it, because these guys overdo it themselves.
> 
> Read sosuave.com, though even that site turned to sh*t when all these kids started trying to replicate "Tyler Dirten" (spelling).




I never visited their forum anyway, so no comment on that one. (From THE DATE book) However, if you were one of them, wouldn't you also take the opportunity to make some cash? It's simple business really. Same goes for any other "financial experts" who do the same. 

And how would you know these guys "overdone" it anyway? I highly doubt everyone followed their "principle" in absolute full. I couldn't cos it's not natural to me. I only follow what is comfortable with me. But then I agree that there ARE people out there who overdone things, including one of my high school friend who followed them religiously. That is my opinion though because I can't do things that he does, but ironically enough, he is now in a pretty good, stable relationship.

Regardless, I no longer need these sites/materials anyway. Using them would be counter-productive to me now since I already found my soul mate.


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## Holy Roly (30 March 2009)

I think....

confidence, success, and a self belief are what makes someone attractive.

Non of which I possess in any large quantity.

However, there is genetics, but that is not something you can control, but you can make the best of what you've got I guess.

Currently, I am going to the gym, and some of the female staff are paying me compliments. Weirdly enough, some males are too (as I take a few steps backwards, then turn and run). 

Anyway, try for the first 3 (confidence, success, and self belief). It you were lucky to get good genetics, then don't abuse it, as attractiveness is as much a asset as cash in the bank. Otherwise, at least do your best to look your best 

Note: I think that makes for 10 posts... yippy, I'm in for April!


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