# Bin Laden about to be captured



## Garpal Gumnut (5 July 2009)

I have it on good reports from mates in the US military in Helmand Province that the mass murderer and number one godbotherer in the World, has been identified in a hole in Helmand Province.

Aint life good.

gg


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## It's Snake Pliskin (5 July 2009)

*Re: Bin Laden about to be captured.*



Garpal Gumnut said:


> I have it on good reports from mates in the US military in Helmand Province that the mass murderer and number one godbotherer in the World, has been identified in a hole in Helmand Province.
> 
> Aint life good.
> 
> gg




GG,

Do your friends have a link that you could post on that?


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## Garpal Gumnut (5 July 2009)

*Re: Bin Laden about to be captured.*



It's Snake Pliskin said:


> GG,
> 
> Do your friends have a link that you could post on that?




No mate, but its on, the yanks are pushing ****loads of people into the area. My contact is a Col. in the US Army and his career may be affected if I publish his id.

gg


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## sam76 (5 July 2009)

*Re: Bin Laden about to be captured.*

Your post may have given him a heads up as well.

I have a broker mate who tells me OBL is an avid trader and reader of ASF, lol


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## MRC & Co (5 July 2009)

*Re: Bin Laden about to be captured.*

If your source is reliable, any way to profit off this?


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## Naked shorts (5 July 2009)

*Re: Bin Laden about to be captured.*



MRC & Co said:


> If your source is reliable, any way to profit off this?




short military contracted security companies?

GG, I sure hope your source is right.


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## Naked shorts (5 July 2009)

*Re: Bin Laden about to be captured.*

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Private_military_company#List_of_PMCs


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## Agentm (5 July 2009)

garpal

its a big call to make and the possibility of a world free of OBL walking this planet and not killing in the fashion he does would be amazing


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## noirua (5 July 2009)

There are very strong rumours indeed that Pakistan has captured Anwarul Haq Mujahid (Bin Laden's security co-ordinator) the commander of the Tora Bora Military front, during a raid in Peshawar.
Mujahid's father welcomed Bin Laden to Afghanistan and his son would have been able to give a location that Bin Laden was in, albeit a general area. 
It is possible that Mujahid has been tortured, along with two others also detained.


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## Garpal Gumnut (5 July 2009)

noirua said:


> There are very strong rumours indeed that Pakistan has captured Anwarul Haq Mujahid (Bin Laden's security co-ordinator) the commander of the Tora Bora Military front, during a raid in Peshawar.
> Mujahid's father welcomed Bin Laden to Afghanistan and his son would have been able to give a location that Bin Laden was in, albeit a general area.
> It is possible that Mujahid has been tortured, along with two others also detained.




The word is that the Pakistanis interrogated him, he only has one nut left, and he's agreed to sell out OBL in a deal to keep the other one by giving his location. Unfortunately the terrain is quite difficult and OBL may be deep in some hole as SH was. Personally I doubt if Anwarul's second nut will survive the week as he's murdered a fair few Pakistanis with influence.

gg


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## robots (5 July 2009)

hello,

OBL is a true warfare mastermind, what a strike on September 11

yet the yanks go in with all the ak's, stealth's, 9mm, humvee's and get nothing

even prior to Sept 11 they were launching rockets and achieved nothing 

they are an embarrassment

thankyou
professor robots


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## Prospector (5 July 2009)

You mean like the US saying that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction?

Heard an interesting conspiracy theory about Iraq and Saddam Hussain.  Apparently, Saddam got word that if he admitted he didnt have the weapons of mass destruction (so he stayed silent when asked by the US) then Iran would launch an imminent attack on Iraq.  Hussain was about to go to the US for help (as he was an ally in the '80's) but left it too late (or maybe Bush got wind of that and wanted to defeat Iraq in a big way for Daddy) and the rest as they say, is History.

I also think it is interesting that Indonesia has been able to execute some of the masterminds behind the Bali Bombings and effectively dismantle JI; yet the western world is still trying to stop Al Qaida.  Yet ordinary Jihad Jack was able to speak with OBL on his mobile from suburban Australia.


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## Garpal Gumnut (5 July 2009)

Prospector said:


> You mean like the US saying that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction?
> 
> Heard an interesting conspiracy theory about Iraq and Saddam Hussain.  Apparently, Suddam got word that if he admitted he didnt have the weapons of mass destruction (so he stayed silent when asked by the US) then Iran would launch an imminent attack on Iraq.  Hussain was about to go to the US for help (as he was an ally in the '80's) but left it too late (or maybe Bush got wind of that and wanted to defeat Iraq in a big way for Daddy) and the rest as they say, is History.




Prospector, that is probably the truth of it all, and it will be interesting to see how history judges all the players in this huge drama.

gg


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## Calliope (5 July 2009)

It would be a big mistake to capture him, i.e. take him alive, as they did with Saddam. It would be expedient to identify his corpse and then dispose of it.

If captured, who would try him? It would drag on for years, and he would become an iconic rallying point for all Islamic terrorists.


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## Aussiest (5 July 2009)

*Re: Bin Laden about to be captured.*



MRC & Co said:


> If your source is reliable, any way to profit off this?




Lol, now you're talkin'. US treasuries to go up?


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## ivant (5 July 2009)

There could be a small drop on oil. Theoretically, some people could consider it to be a big stop to terrorism, that would take out some panic from the market. Of course, OBL has done nothing since September 11, and you all know how many conspiracy theories there are around that, which all make a little too much sense. The interesting effect will be to see how the terrorists react? There could be a big number of small blasts around the world too.


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## Naked shorts (5 July 2009)

Prospector said:


> Heard an interesting conspiracy theory about Iraq and Saddam Hussain.  Apparently, Saddam got word that if he admitted he didnt have the weapons of mass destruction (so he stayed silent when asked by the US) then Iran would launch an imminent attack on Iraq.  Hussain was about to go to the US for help (as he was an ally in the '80's) but left it too late (or maybe Bush got wind of that and wanted to defeat Iraq in a big way for Daddy) and the rest as they say, is History.




Heres your theory on Saddam. FBI says his WMD bluff was for Iran.
http://www.reuters.com/article/gc08/idUSTRE56113O20090702



Calliope said:


> If captured, who would try him? It would drag on for years, and he would become an iconic rallying point for all Islamic terrorists.




I agree, all his extremist kids would take westerners hostage in an attempt to get him out of prison.


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## Garpal Gumnut (5 July 2009)

Latest I've heard is that that the forward elements are within 4 miles of OBL. However as my mate said in his email they may as well be 4000 miles, as the area is chock a block full of godbotherers, goats and hills.

gg


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## Stan 101 (5 July 2009)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> Latest I've heard is that that the forward elements are within 4 miles of OBL.
> gg




Have they taped a GPS to his leg or something?

Anyways, if they are 4 miles away they could circle the area with troops and emu march to the centre.

Radius of 4 miles so the circum of the area is 40.192km. Have troops positioned 50 metres apart with a "fox" trooper every 200 metres to check out holes.

No one leaves the circle until cleared. Simple as that.


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## Garpal Gumnut (5 July 2009)

Stan 101 said:


> Have they taped a GPS to his leg or something?
> 
> Anyways, if they are 4 miles away they could circle the area with troops and emu march to the centre.
> 
> ...




You're forgetting the goats, the godbotherers and the hills.

gg


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## Calliope (5 July 2009)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> You're forgetting the goats, the godbotherers and the hills.
> 
> gg




Goats should only be a short distraction. Still, they are hard to catch in the hills. That could hold them up.


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## Garpal Gumnut (5 July 2009)

Stan 101 said:


> Have they taped a GPS to his leg or something?
> 
> Anyways, if they are 4 miles away they could circle the area with troops and emu march to the centre.
> 
> ...




Also mate they are American soldiers, not Aussies, they all move huddled together less than a metre apart, and wouldn't know how to do an emu march.

gg


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## Stan 101 (5 July 2009)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> You're forgetting the goats, the godbotherers and the hills.
> 
> gg





No, you assume I was forgetting it. You assumed wrong. It isn't hard to walk in basically a straight line to a known point, regardless of terrain.

How are goats going to cause a concern? All people in the circle are intterogated and don't leave until confirmed not to be whoever they are looking for.


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## MACCA350 (5 July 2009)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> Also mate they are American soldiers, not Aussies, they all move huddled together less than a metre apart, and wouldn't know how to do an emu march.
> 
> gg



Just had a comical mental image after the "emu" order comes over the radio of a bunch of top notch US solders standing around staring at each other muttering "WTF is an emu"

...........well it was funny in my head

cheers


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## Timmy (5 July 2009)

Stan 101 said:


> How are goats going to cause a concern




suicide goats


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## Garpal Gumnut (5 July 2009)

Stan 101 said:


> No, you assume I was forgetting it. You assumed wrong. It isn't hard to walk in basically a straight line to a known point, regardless of terrain.
> 
> How are goats going to cause a concern? All people in the circle are intterogated and don't leave until confirmed not to be whoever they are looking for.




Yes mate, but again, these are american troops and they shoot at anything that moves including goats.

Also how would you believe the godbotherers in this part of the world that you would have to interrogate. 

And all this with goats going up and hills all about.

gg


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## Stan 101 (5 July 2009)

By godbotherers, do you mean local people? If so, the US trained soldiers should all have a permanent memory and perfect recall of Bin Laden's face. That is if the US government is serious in attempting to bring him in.

So with the soldiers having an intimate recall of Bin laden, the interrogation could be a simple as a close up inspection of the local's face before they are allowed outside the perimeter.

It's not a real difficult concept, garpul. Time consuming, yes but not difficult. And with the time wasted (7 years or so now) searching for the guy already, what have they got to lose?

I'm actually suprised they don't just firebomb a 5 mile radius. They were quite happy to enter Iraq and directl and indirectly kill thousands of innocent local people there. Why does the US warmachine now suddenly have morals if as you say have Bin Laden generally located?


cheers,


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## Garpal Gumnut (5 July 2009)

Stan 101 said:


> By godbotherers, do you mean local people? If so, the US trained soldiers should all have a permanent memory and perfect recall of Bin Laden's face. That is if the US government is serious in attempting to bring him in.
> 
> So with the soldiers having an intimate recall of Bin laden, the interrogation could be a simple as a close up inspection of the local's face before they are allowed outside the perimeter.
> 
> ...




Stan I can't agree with you there. If you annihalated the whole populace you'd be as bad as the godbotherers who blew up the Twin Towers.

Goats yes, 

The hills there are something to be seen I'm told, although its the biggest dope growing place on the planet, so there must be flat areas. 

The goats shouldn't be a problem though, as long as you didn't waste time comparing their facial features with Bin Laden to which they bear an uncanny resemblance.

gg

gg


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## Stan 101 (5 July 2009)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> Stan I can't agree with you there. If you annihalated the whole populace you'd be as bad as the godbotherers who blew up the Twin Towers.




You don't need to agree with me. That's the point of opinion. 

I personally don't think the US should annihalate the 5 mile region. I said I'm suprised they haven't. 

Personally, though I don't see the people responsible for the twin towers any worse than the people of the US involved in the massacre that was the invasion of Iraq a few years back. They were both terribly evil events caused by terribly evil people. 

The simple fact it that if similar buildings were brought down in any other country the US wouldn't have given two hoots about it beside the required diplomatic sympathies.

I still think "operation emu walk" (or is that emoo for the yanks?) will have Bin Laden caught in weeks. Tell your mate I want credit when my method comes good. A simple asterix derived footnote on the offical report will be sufficient.


cheers,


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## Boyou (5 July 2009)

Nothing on the ABC or SBS News yet..

GG..you sure of your intel source?.

This could go down as the April fool joke in July!


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## trainspotter (5 July 2009)

When was the last time there was a credible souce that concluded Osama Bin Laden is alive? Some dodgy, scratchy recordings have emerged and they are more than likely OLD sermons when he was rallying the troops prior to 9/11 but NONE since Barack Obama has taken over.

My suspicion is that Osama Bin Hiding is really Osama Bin Blownup when the yanks hit the mountains with a couple of trillion tonnes of C4 explosives.

GG's intel is about as much use as Army Intelligence. There is no such thing, an oxymoron of biblical proportions.


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## Boyou (5 July 2009)

Too Funny...Trainspotter!

Perhaps he is behind the intel? ..making him Osama Bin Funnin

I havn't had such a good read since I looked at the joke thread

Cheese


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## MrBurns (5 July 2009)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> I have it on good reports from mates in the US military in Helmand Province that the mass murderer and number one godbotherer in the World, has been identified in a hole in Helmand Province.
> 
> gg




Well fill it in !

I thought he was in Paskistan.........


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## gooner (5 July 2009)

Catching Saddam didn't do much to stop the fighting in Iraq, so I doubt killing Osama will do much to stop religious nutters blowing themselves up in the West.

Weird thing is that we pay for Islamic schools in Australia and Catholic, Brethren, Scientologist or whatever you want. Might get a bit more peace and understanding if we stopped funding divisive religious schools......


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## MrBurns (5 July 2009)

Has anyone stopped to think if they were that close to him no Colonel would pass that info on so it could be posted on a web site. ?

Seems about as great a breach of security as you coukd get.


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## Stan 101 (5 July 2009)

MrBurns said:


> Has anyone stopped to think if they were that close to him no Colonel would pass that info on so it could be posted on a web site. ?




Yes, but it's lighthearted to endulge Garpul after he's been on the payote.


cheers


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## sam76 (5 July 2009)

What difference would it make?
The hardcore element have already had the knowledge and contacts passed on to them


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## nunthewiser (5 July 2009)

Stan 101 said:


> Yes, but it's lighthearted to endulge Garpul after he's been on the payote.
> 
> 
> cheers





Peyote

thankyou


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## nunthewiser (5 July 2009)

P.s 

there is no physical being known as bin laden , he is purely a boogieman created by the imaginative bunch at the C.I.A

the real villain of this "terrorist regime " is actually norma reedsbottom and she posts on internet forums while dressed in tracky dacks and curlers whilst dreaming of escaping from tamworth


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## awg (5 July 2009)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> The hills there are something to be seen I'm told, although its the biggest dope growing place on the planet, so there must be flat areas.
> 
> gg





It grows wild on the mountainsides, in its natural home, the trans-himalaya.

The seeds drop into the snow, are frozen until spring melts the ground into muddy slush, then comes summer monsoon, followed by hot dry autumn, cycle repeats.

quite a sight to behold, a mountain range full with countless million marijuana plants!

hope they get OBL, but i dont know whether it will make much difference in the long run.

I still think events in Pakistan hold the key.

The majority of Afghans by most accounts are very much against the US presence, and would prefer the Taliban

I reckon US markets would rally on this news, even if briefly, just on sentiment, if it was to eventuate.


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## trainspotter (5 July 2009)

nunthewiser said:


> Peyote
> 
> thankyou




Speaking from experience nunthewiser ?

Norma Reedsbottom is my arch nemesis. I have been tracking her for years and she has managed to slip away from all my efforts of bombing/maiming/killing/generally invading and beating the crapola out of the poplulation of Tamworth. Bit like America and Osama Bin Laden I am thinking.

Does Tamworth have oil? No wait ... that is another country I am thinking of.


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## Stan 101 (5 July 2009)

nunthewiser said:


> Peyote





moochos grassyarse. :


cheers,


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## trainspotter (5 July 2009)

Don't forget the poppies grown by the peasants for heroin production. Terrorists by stealth. An enemy you can't face. Refined into smack and then cut with Drano only to be plunged into the lifeless eyeball of some H user who has just recentlly ransacked your house to steal your wifes jewellery to sell to afford another hit. Great. Why hasn't the U.S. funded these dirt poor farmers to grown another kind of crop. Afterall, they get next to pittance for the crop of poppies. It only gains value once refined in Pakistan. Usually smuggled by children inside 20kg bags of flour across the border.


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## nunthewiser (5 July 2009)

trainspotter said:


> Don't forget the poppies grown by the peasants for heroin production. Terrorists by stealth. An enemy you can't face. Refined into smack and then cut with Drano only to be plunged into the lifeless eyeball of some H user who has just recentlly ransacked your house to steal your wifes jewellery to sell to afford another hit. Great. Why hasn't the U.S. funded these dirt poor farmers to grown another kind of crop. Afterall, they get next to pittance for the crop of poppies. It only gains value once refined in Pakistan. Usually smuggled by children inside 20kg bags of flour across the border.





and in the past in burma the opium trails were guarded and provided safe passage with american money 

blessem


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## jiggy (5 July 2009)

I think gummit has been smoking some good weed..............or his "contacts" in the middle east 

Very doubtful


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## awg (5 July 2009)

Always thought it odd that $30 million US was not enough for someone to betray him.

here is some number crunching for you..see below excerpt


Population: 32,738,376 (July 2008 est.)

so if u gave them each $1 per day and let them get on with life

cost = $12 billion pa

wonder if it would get a better/cheaper outcome?

dont forget what happened to Soviet in Afghanistan, they were never able to eliminate the resistance and ran out of money in the process


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## Naked shorts (7 August 2009)

Well... I guess he wasn't captured then. Anymore updates from your source GG?


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## beerwm (7 August 2009)

GG's source's predictions-

QLD election -Correct.
Costello PM - X
Bin Laden Captured - X

not too bad


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## GumbyLearner (7 August 2009)

beerwm said:


> GG's source's predictions-
> 
> QLD election -Correct.
> Costello PM - X
> ...




Like Meatloaf sang

2 out of 3 ain't bad

What about 1 out of 3 Garp?



Don't get me wrong I'm not expecting you to be
any Gust Avrakotos! 

But where do you get your info from?


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## knocker (7 August 2009)

GumbyLearner said:


> Like Meatloaf sang
> 
> 2 out of 3 ain't bad
> 
> ...





Give the guy a break, he lives in Townsville afterall


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## Boyou (7 August 2009)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> I have it on good reports from mates in the US military in Helmand Province that the mass murderer and number one godbotherer in the World, has been identified in a hole in Helmand Province.
> 
> Aint life good.
> 
> gg




My sources tell me they nearly had him ,but he slipped through the net diguised as a goat 

Better luck next time G G!

Cheers Ya'll


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## Garpal Gumnut (7 August 2009)

Fair go mates.

I still maintain he is about to be captured.

gg


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## knocker (7 August 2009)

Well as long as the bin's are not laden everyone is happy right?


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## Agentm (7 August 2009)

apparently this was his suspicious activity that alerted the troops







and this is his capture


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## Garpal Gumnut (7 August 2009)

So you reckon he's in New Zealand eh.

gg


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## Aussiejeff (7 August 2009)

awg said:


> Always thought it odd that $30 million US was not enough for someone to betray him.
> 
> here is some number crunching for you..see below excerpt
> 
> ...




Naaah. The terminology is all wrong, mate.

Them what controls the sheeple of Unca Sam do NOT consider these vast sums of play dough as a COST. To them, it is a WISE INVESTMENT.  

History shows that Empires under duress always resort in the end to a good War (or a substitute for an officially declared "War") to keep their economies and big businesses ticking over.

Unca ObamaSam is no different.

War is, and always will be, BIG business - attracting BIG investments of wealth and power by those in control of politics and economies.

So, disregard all the hoo-ha about "Costs".

Without all that dough greasing big business, where do you think the US would be now? For example, how much did GM earn on sales of Humvees to the US Army over the last 15 years etc? 

General Electric?

Boeing?

Coca-Cola?

Ford?

Halliburton?

Many suppliers would prolly have been bankrupted a long time ago without a never-ending continuation of "The Global War On Terror" having propped 'em all up along the way?

We should be so lucky.

Seen in that light, it obviously serves no purpose for OBL to be captured. 



aj


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## gav (7 August 2009)

Boyou said:


> My sources tell me they nearly had him ,but he slipped through the net diguised as a goat
> 
> Better luck next time G G!
> 
> Cheers Ya'll




I heard he was kicking back relaxing and reading ASF - and thanks to GG he discovered they were onto him!  Nice work GG...


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## Garpal Gumnut (28 December 2009)

gav said:


> I heard he was kicking back relaxing and reading ASF - and thanks to GG he discovered they were onto him!  Nice work GG...




That is the reason, mate, that I have not been too open about what is happening in the search for the Hitler of the Dunes, ole bin Laden.

He will be caught though, mark my words.

And he does read ASF.

A cartoon.


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## Glen48 (28 December 2009)

Don't get to carried  away if Bin Liner is caught there will be Bin Liner Mrk 11 to take his place..Until we can find the cause of this mental illness we will have them for ever..Have to give it to OBL he caused the world economy to collapse which make him the greatest warrior ever.


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## gooner (28 December 2009)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> That is the reason, mate, that I have not been too open about what is happening in the search for the Hitler of the Dunes, ole bin Laden.
> 
> He will be caught though, mark my words.
> 
> ...




LOL

Cartoon reminds me of when the wife and I met a Saudi couple on an airplane - the wife was covered head to toe in one of the black chador thingies, but spoke pretty good English. The husband's English was OK, but not as good as the wife's. They had just been on honeymoon to the Maldives (as had we) and he showed us his holiday photos on his laptop. There was not a single photo of his wife - guess there is not much point if she is covered from head to toe............

GG - looks as though MQG survived that imminent collapse. Just set up a SMSF and looking at allocating a portion to MQG. You still have concerns??


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## spaceman666 (28 December 2009)

Wasn't 911 an inside job ?


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## Garpal Gumnut (28 December 2009)

Mini bin has had his soaking, its all waiting for bin, lots and lots of water.

gg


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## noirua (28 December 2009)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> I have it on good reports from mates in the US military in Helmand Province that the mass murderer and number one godbotherer in the World, has been identified in a hole in Helmand Province.
> 
> Aint life good.
> 
> gg




How many holes are there in Helmand Province? Six months have gone by and your mates ain't found'm yet. I blame the delay on the introduction of moles into the province by the Russians.


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## Garpal Gumnut (28 December 2009)

noirua said:


> How many holes are there in Helmand Province? Six months have gone by and your mates ain't found'm yet. I blame the delay on the introduction of moles into the province by the Russians.




I believe that he has in fact been captured and is kept in a dressing trailer on the backset of the Oprah Winfrey Show.

My proof, Oprahs personal trainer and bin.

They say he begs to be waterboarded.

gg


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## nunthewiser (28 December 2009)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH


Fine Photo my good man !



one of them fly on the wall moments


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## Garpal Gumnut (24 January 2010)

My contacts say that he has been sighted and that capture is imminent.

The effects on the markets may catch many wrong footed if it is true.

gg


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## prozac (24 January 2010)

I read a list of Stock Tips purportedly recommended by OBL. Top of the list is Haliburton Shares.


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## Garpal Gumnut (24 January 2010)

It appears he is travelling from Makin to Dwa Toi to purchase toiletries, new parts for his dialysis machine, cigarettes and fish and chips.

He is in a Toyota Hilux.

gg


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## jbocker (24 January 2010)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> It appears he is travelling from Makin to Dwa Toi to purchase toiletries, new parts for his dialysis machine, cigarettes and fish and chips.
> 
> He is in a Toyota Hilux.
> 
> gg




NO WAY in the WORLD this is true! 
I seen the photo you posted in Oprahs trailer. There is NO WAY he could survive that.


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## Garpal Gumnut (24 January 2010)

jbocker said:


> NO WAY in the WORLD this is true!
> I seen the photo you posted in Oprahs trailer. There is NO WAY he could survive that.




He did mate, and Hollywood being full of Democrats , they gave him a feed and let him go.

Oprah had a wardrobe malfunction, so did Bin, but his was under the table.


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## Stan 101 (24 January 2010)

I can't be sure of course but I reckon I caught him the other month. I didn't have size and bag limits with me at the time and the one I caught didn't have turbon and sandals on and seemed short so to be on the safe side I ended up throwing him back.

Didn't get another bite all day! Typical


cheers,


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## RazzaDazzla (24 January 2010)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> My contacts say that he has been sighted and that capture is imminent.
> 
> The effects on the markets may catch many wrong footed if it is true.
> 
> gg




So thinking is that markets would rally on his confirmed capture? This would of course be because the war on terror would immediately be over and all other issues such as Pakistan etc would magically be resolved?

Well that's at least what the 'market' would believe?


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## Stan 101 (24 January 2010)

Apparently a new tape from Ossy:

"the United States will not dream of enjoying safety until we live it in reality in Palestine."
The tape continues: "It is not fair to enjoy that kind of life while our brothers in Gaza live in the worst of miseries."

Well how about the west give these people Palestine, move out of Saudi, stop killing innocent people and remove all western troops off theit "Holy land", cut off all telecommunications, close all borders and leave them to live in peace.


Maybe then I could catch a freaking plane without having my nether regions probed by some hyped up freak US customs officer!


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## RazzaDazzla (24 January 2010)

Stan 101 said:


> Apparently a new tape from Ossy:
> 
> "Maybe then I could catch a freaking plane without having my nether regions probed by some hyped up freak US customs officer!




That's a good night out for some of my mates!


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## Garpal Gumnut (24 January 2010)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> It appears he is travelling from Makin to Dwa Toi to purchase toiletries, new parts for his dialysis machine, cigarettes and fish and chips.
> 
> He is in a Toyota Hilux.
> 
> gg




Sorry my information was wrong, they were actually in Dwa Toi. Now they are travelling to Sararogha and they are in a Nissan Cedric not a Toyota Hilux. They, being Bin and his driver Haji. It is a 1979 Nissan Cedric, purple in colour with synchromesh. Bin is not happy, he prefers the Hilux, its very cold and he has to sit with his knees bent in to his beard.

gg


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## RazzaDazzla (25 January 2010)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> Sorry my information was wrong, they were actually in Dwa Toi. Now they are travelling to Sararogha and they are in a Nissan Cedric not a Toyota Hilux. They, being Bin and his driver Haji. It is a 1979 Nissan Cedric, purple in colour with synchromesh. Bin is not happy, he prefers the Hilux, its very cold and he has to sit with his knees bent in to his beard.
> 
> gg




So why don't they grab him then?


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## Garpal Gumnut (25 January 2010)

RazzaDazzla said:


> So why don't they grab him then?




A number of reasons.

1.  They are not very bright, CIA I mean.
2.   He is very smart (note the misinformation, everyone knows its a Datsun   Cedric, and they are looking for a Nissan. 
3.   They wouldn't know what to do with him if they caught him.   

He has reached Sararogha, by the way. So he is there for the taking.

gg


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## prozac (25 January 2010)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> A number of reasons.
> 
> 1.  They are not very bright, CIA I mean.
> 2.   He is very smart (note the misinformation, everyone knows its a Datsun   Cedric, and they are looking for a Nissan.
> ...




I am sorry to interject GG but you are mistaken. I am certain even OBL knows it was called NISSAN Cedric.


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## Stan 101 (25 January 2010)

The Nissan Cedrics was also the stage name of the two hotties from Roy and HG's "Club Buggery". They used to sing in all the segments and special guests and sang songs with Ian "Turps" Turpie.... Good times..

cheers,


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## Garpal Gumnut (25 January 2010)

He is in a 1979 *Datsun* Cedric 260c. 

And if I were the CIA I'd be looking closely at the sat pics about Tank tomorrow as he's going to the movies there to watch Gone with the Wind, the afternoon session.

gg


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## prozac (26 January 2010)

Club Buggery, ahhh this is living. Dannielle Gaha and Louise Anton, the Nissan Cedrics. Be still my beating heart. And how could you forget Ajax? Turps runs the trivia on Wednesday nights down at the Fisho's in Manly. My young bloke goes down each week with his old school mates so they can win the free beer each week. Hell, I wish they were that keen when they were at school.

Now GG I do not think we ever had the cedric moniker in Australia long enough for it to turn into a Datsun, You needed to be more year specific.


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## Garpal Gumnut (26 January 2010)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> A number of reasons.
> 
> 1.  They are not very bright, CIA I mean.
> 2.   He is very smart (note the misinformation, everyone knows its a Datsun   Cedric, and they are looking for a Nissan.
> ...






prozac said:


> I am sorry to interject GG but you are mistaken. I am certain even OBL knows it was called NISSAN Cedric.






Stan 101 said:


> The Nissan Cedrics was also the stage name of the two hotties from Roy and HG's "Club Buggery". They used to sing in all the segments and special guests and sang songs with Ian "Turps" Turpie.... Good times..
> 
> cheers,






Garpal Gumnut said:


> He is in a 1979 *Datsun* Cedric 260c.
> 
> And if I were the CIA I'd be looking closely at the sat pics about Tank tomorrow as he's going to the movies there to watch Gone with the Wind, the afternoon session.
> 
> gg






prozac said:


> Club Buggery, ahhh this is living. Dannielle Gaha and Louise Anton, the Nissan Cedrics. Be still my beating heart. And how could you forget Ajax? Turps runs the trivia on Wednesday nights down at the Fisho's in Manly. My young bloke goes down each week with his old school mates so they can win the free beer each week. Hell, I wish they were that keen when they were at school.
> 
> Now GG I do not think we ever had the cedric moniker in Australia long enough for it to turn into a Datsun, You needed to be more year specific.




Now i have been known to be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the Datsun Cedric preceded the Nissan Cedric.

I am not an aficionado of this particular piece of Jap driving s**t. It is very popular in Afghanistan.

Remember the Datsun Z's. Now we have the Nissan 370Z, a small excuse for a sports coupe, one of which I passed this morning on the road to Charters towers in the Arnage. He was way over the speed limit and I was tempted to call Crimestoppers.

This off topic though.

Bin is in a Cedric OK,  On his way to Tank to watch Gone With the bloody Wind.

And the CIA are still watching their computer screens instead of looking for a bloody Cedric. 

He is in a 1979 Datsun Cedric 260c, with bench seats (for the dialysis machine). 

gg


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## noirua (26 January 2010)

Osama Bin Laden is about to locate to Townsville as he's fed up with the underground life in Coober Pedy.  This should make it easier for gg to capture him.


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## Stan 101 (26 January 2010)

noirua said:


> This should make it easier for gg to capture him.




He's a dark horse, that Garpul..


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## prozac (28 January 2010)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> Now i have been known to be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the Datsun Cedric preceded the Nissan Cedric.
> 
> I am not an aficionado of this particular piece of Jap driving s**t. It is very popular in Afghanistan.
> 
> ...




Hi GG, I think it went something like this. In the 60's they were Nissan (in Australia), then changed to Datsun around 69/70 (anyone???). They reverted back to Nissan in about 1982.

Lol. ". It is very popular in Afghanistan." Lol  We learn something new everyday, thanks gg. Oh, which is the popular colour or doesn't it matter?

"one of which I passed this morning on the road to Charters towers in the Arnage". Did you stop to boil the billy? 

Do you want to form a possy when the time is right?


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## Bigukraine (28 January 2010)

Sung to the tune of "love is in the air" by john paul young "


"osama's everywhere .. watch those twin tower's falling down"

"osama's everywhere.. making western powers frown"

 (1) " and i don,t know if i think he is foolish ... and i don't know if he is insane"

 (2)"but there's one thing that i know for sure.. he gave president bush plenty of pain"

 (3)"osama's everywhere..... osama's everywhere .. oh..oh........oh . oh

"osama's everwhere.. no hang on that's the cia"

"osama's eveywhere..making  sure the tahliban are getting paid"

 insert (1) sing

insert (2) sing

insert (3) sing

been in the afgan top ten for year's


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## Garpal Gumnut (29 January 2010)

My contacts tell me that Bin has abandoned the Holden/Nissan Cedric due to transmission problems and is now in a Ford Prefect on his way to Kanigaram.

It has a 42 in the numberplate. 

Now CIA, go get him.

It also has a small dent in it.

gg


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## Bigukraine (29 January 2010)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> My contacts tell me that Bin has abandoned the Holden/Nissan Cedric due to transmission problems and is now in a Ford Prefect on his way to Kanigaram.
> 
> It has a 42 in the numberplate.
> 
> ...




Ford prefect hey!........mmmmm not much room on the front seat for dialysis 

machine mmmm. saw gone with the wind ok so the wind is blowing towards Kanigaram ? that  bin he throws more curve balls than Nostrodamus !!!


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## Garpal Gumnut (29 January 2010)

The Ford Prefect is a much maligned motor.

If anyone knows anyone in the CIA, please let them know of Bin's movements.

gg


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## NZTurtle (30 January 2010)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> My contacts tell me that Bin has abandoned the Holden/Nissan Cedric due to transmission problems and is now in a Ford Prefect on his way to Kanigaram.
> 
> It has a 42 in the numberplate.
> 
> ...




Err does he have a towel in that car and special glasses that go dark when danger increases?


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## noirua (31 January 2010)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> The Ford Prefect is a much maligned motor.
> 
> If anyone knows anyone in the CIA, please let them know of Bin's movements.
> 
> gg




gg the Prefect is an Aussie Ute coloured pink and allows for a dozen gunmen in the back, plus one astride the roof.


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## pacestick (31 January 2010)

you are all wrong i just went into my teenagers room he is obviously hidding in there and no one could ever find him if i hadnt had a rope tied around me  i would not of got back


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## Garpal Gumnut (31 January 2010)

NZTurtle said:


> Err does he have a towel in that car and special glasses that go dark when danger increases?




NZT, the CIA could do with you, you evil wise person you.

He has due to these posts changed to a Ford Galaxy MK2 2001 and is doing his big dialysis for the week as there wasn't enough room in the Ford Prefect.

His last communication picked up by satellite was
"So long , and Thanks for All the Fish."

I reckon he's doubled back to Tank, as he likes fish and chips.

gg


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## nulla nulla (31 January 2010)

I reckon this bloke has been dead for ages and is buried in an unmarked grave somewhere in yemen. His close followers don't want to admit that he has died as they struggle to keep his terrorist movement going.


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## nunthewiser (31 January 2010)

There IS, or WAS no Osama Bin Laden .

He was merely a figment of the U.S propaganda machine and his name was merely used as a "boogey man" 

GG you need to slip your contacts a few extra sheckels if you want the real goss out there m8.


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## Garpal Gumnut (12 August 2010)

My spies tell me that Bin is lying low on a lilo floating down the Swat Valley.

gg


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## Julia (12 August 2010)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> My spies tell me that Bin is lying low on a lilo floating down the Swat Valley.
> 
> gg



Good to know, gg.  Since we're talking whereabouts of notable persons, I see you are presently located in the NT.  Presumably you're making a noble attempt to bring civilised discourse to the Territorians?


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## Garpal Gumnut (4 March 2011)

Julia said:


> Good to know, gg.  Since we're talking whereabouts of notable persons, I see you are presently located in the NT.  Presumably you're making a noble attempt to bring civilised discourse to the Territorians?




Thanks Julia, I'm back at Ross Island.

My contacts tell me he is in Tank tonight, having dialysis, from a Pakistan kidney team.

Fast flows the Don, is not an accurate description of the ole Bin, from a CIA mate of mine, he's bloated from fluid they say.

The US are now rather than trying to take him out, just waiting for a good news day on which to do it.

gg


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## bellenuit (2 May 2011)

Sky News reporting Bin Laden is dead and the US has his body. 2/5 10:45 WST

Obama about to give a telecast.


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## investorpaul (2 May 2011)

Apparently killed a week ago by a US Bomb.

Waiting for 5...4....3...2...1 until the conspiracy theorists come out saying its a fake body/not him/hes hiding somewhere else


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## investorpaul (2 May 2011)

investorpaul said:


> Apparently killed a week ago by a US Bomb.
> 
> Waiting for 5...4....3...2...1 until the conspiracy theorists come out saying its a fake body/not him/hes hiding somewhere else




Turns out he may have been killed in Pakistan (not by a US Bomb)

I'll wait for Obamas speech before I guess again lol


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## Alpha_Bet (2 May 2011)

ES up 10 handles on news. Push towards $US over retaliation fears


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## Garpal Gumnut (2 May 2011)

Garpal Gumnut said:


> Thanks Julia, I'm back at Ross Island.
> 
> My contacts tell me he is in Tank tonight, having dialysis, from a Pakistan kidney team.
> 
> ...




It is well that it is done, and done quickly.

Congratulations to Don, Rodrigo and all the boys and girls in Peshwar office.

From all at the Ross Island Hotel. Trust you guys can get here for the V8's now !!

gg


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