# Subtle Humour



## burglar (9 January 2013)

In younger days, I remember frequenting a Chess Club.

Sipping strong coffee in the smoke haze.
Sharing some banter with like-minded people.

This was sprinkled liberally with witticisms.
Mostly weird or cryptic as the night grew long.

"Hard to get this right" becomes "Easy to go left here".

_Tactics_ becomes _tictacs_


"You've changed your style (or repertoire)"
becomes "Ohh!! You've changed your sox"


Checkmate, of course, becomes "Checka Tomato"


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## burglar (9 January 2013)

Have a go!


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## cynic (9 January 2013)

burglar said:


> In younger days, I remember frequenting a Chess Club.
> 
> Sipping strong coffee in the smoke haze.
> Sharing some banter with like-minded people.
> ...




I used to try and maximize use of the fishshop to take as many prawns as possible along with the odd seahorse or two. The queen bream was trickier to net this way but I was able to snare the King crab on occasion.


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## burglar (9 January 2013)

cynic said:


> I used to try and maximize use of the fishshop to take as many prawns as possible along with the odd seahorse or two. The queen bream was trickier to net this way but I was able to snare the King crab on occasion.




You've been talking to my friend Bobby Fishbreath, GD


Fish 
In chess parlance, a fish is a term for a poor chess player. In general a "fish" is a player easily defeated by simple stratagems: just as a fish is oblivious to the fact that bait is attached to a hook, the player appears oblivious to the purpose of the opponent's moves. Competitors at all levels can find themselves prone to episodes of "playing like a fish"--i.e., being inattentive and/or gullible.  



I should rename the thread!

Chess Traps- Fishing Pole:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qac6OFDHdTs


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## burglar (10 January 2013)

cynic said:


> I used to try and maximize use of the fishshop to take as many prawns as possible along with the odd seahorse or two. The queen bream was trickier to net this way but I was able to snare the King crab on occasion.




I've spent countless hours learning and playing Chess.
Just like to know how to use any of that knowledge in investing!


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## cynic (10 January 2013)

burglar said:


> I've spent countless hours learning and playing Chess.
> Just like to know how to use any of that knowledge in investing!




Over the years I've learned a few methods of profitable trading. 

Each involves strategic analysis of one's opponents. 

If the opponent regularly wins, accurate mimicry is worthy of consideration. 

If the oppponent is a total loser (many traders fall into this category) then two opportunities present themselves. 

One can entirely except the identified strategies or alternatively mimic those strategies as inefficiently as possible (i.e. fail to fail efficiently and thereby win).

The aforementioned concepts are components of the CA (Cynical Analysis) that underlies my trading methodology.


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## burglar (28 April 2013)

cynic said:


> Over the years I've learned a few methods of profitable trading ...




I've been playing like a fish!


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## burglar (21 January 2014)

burglar said:


> I've spent countless hours learning and playing Chess.
> Just like to know how to use any of that knowledge in investing!





Always laugh when i read these kinds of thing.


> chess set is double weighted with felt bottoms. The King stands 6 inches high




I am reminded of this, whenever I think about arbitrary Maroon lines on a chart that felt bottoms!

Haha! :


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## burglar (27 July 2014)

wiki/Judit_PolgÃ¡r



> In late 1986, ten-year-old Judit defeated 52-year-old Romanian IM Dolfi Drimer in the Adsteam Lidums International Tournament in Adelaide, Australia. Edmar Mednis said he played his best game of the tournament against Judit. "I was careful in that game", he said. "Grandmasters don't like to lose to 10-year-old girls, because then we make the front page of all the papers."[30]




The Womens Weekly sponsored the Polgar sisters to play chess in Australia.
In Adelaide, they were invited to play the Lidums Cup.

10 Year old Judit Polgar had drawn Alex Sykes as her opponent.

Now Judit had a toy tiger she used as a mascot.
She would place it on the table.
Then menacingly rotate it, till it pointed at her opponent.

Alex had the notion that he would not be psyched out, even before the first move.

So out of his bag, there appeared a warthog!






A self-important DOP(director of play) immediately stepped in and requested the removal of the warthog.
Not until she removes the tiger.
Taken aside he was advised that he would comply.

So Alex made his way back. The warthog found its way to the bag.




Suddenly an even larger alligator jumped up in its place!!






Eventually, the 10 year old girl won the game.
Later a journalist reported that it was a pity Alex’s chess playing ability did not match his sense of humour!!


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## Joules MM1 (2 June 2016)

the Swiss just opened the now-longest 35mile underground traffic tunnel

the opening is a series of people posing as robots from another planet in high viz gear doing really bad river dance

https://twitter.com/i/moments/737966001401237508


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## pixel (23 February 2018)

... and that, dear Citizen, is how our Government-controlled Manufacturing Industry works.


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## luutzu (23 February 2018)

pixel said:


> View attachment 86368
> 
> 
> ... and that, dear Citizen, is how our Government-controlled Manufacturing Industry works.




Had a run in with an (over)engineer recently. 

For a granny flat and a garage he wanted about 80 piers to shale for the slabs. That's 1 every 1.5m of footing. Just in case. 

He's a nice enough guy and careful in his work and all. But man, construction costs money. What takes a few key strokes would take a couple of days extra labour and a few grands on unnecessary expense.


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## tech/a (23 February 2018)

Its always over engineered until cracks appear.
Then its under engineered.

Look for F.O.S Factor of Safety.
Look for 2
If over 2 over engineered
Under 2 beef it up.


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## luutzu (23 February 2018)

tech/a said:


> Its always over engineered until cracks appear.
> Then its under engineered.
> 
> Look for F.O.S Factor of Safety.
> ...




Yea, not this one though.

The existing house was built on brick piers some 80 years ago and still, somewhat, standing. 

Ended up with some 38 cubic of 32mPa concrete, about 2.5 tonne of reo. And that's just the footing alone.


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## tech/a (23 February 2018)

Castles/Houses in the UK stand for over a millennium
No engineering there!


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## explod (23 February 2018)

We lost something when we moved off stumps.  115 x 90 cyprus on a red gum plate even in sandy soil.  We strapped everything but perhaps the wind is stronger these days.  Whoops Wayne ull be onto me.


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## luutzu (23 February 2018)

tech/a said:


> Castles/Houses in the UK stand for over a millennium
> No engineering there!




Saw somewhere they dug til they hit literal rock bottom, then build up. So lots of engineering, or none I supposed 

An elderly neighbour looked over the fence and asked what the heck we're building, a three storey apartment or a granny flat. 

It's my brother's place so he doesn't mind the cost too much if it make it stronger. But if we're builders trying to make a living...


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## luutzu (23 February 2018)

explod said:


> We lost something when we moved off stumps.  115 x 90 cyprus on a red gum plate even in sandy soil.  We strapped everything but perhaps the wind is stronger these days.  Whoops Wayne ull be onto me.




When he had his house built, my dad asked the engineer why a 120mm thick slab. In Vietnam, when he was young and work with granddad the builder, they'd just go to 80mm max. Even for multi-storey houses. And concrete in VN aren't to specs as they are here.

The engineer told us that yea, 100mm would be alright, just that builders and concretors, when they read 120 they'll cut it thin to 110 or 100 anyway so he spec 120 else they go to 80. Maybe he has a point, who knows. 

Brick piers and stump would do just fine I reckon. But probably need old school skills that's fast running out nowadays.


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## explod (23 February 2018)

Yes that is the very sad part.  And they do not understand work.  They cannot get sheares today at $3 a sheep i'd make $700 a day now at that price, and once, doing it easy.

Hey hey, its supposed to be slightly humerous LOL u nut


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## luutzu (23 February 2018)

explod said:


> Yes that is the very sad part.  And they do not understand work.  They cannot get sheares today at $3 a sheep i'd make $700 a day now at that price, and once, doing it easy.
> 
> Hey hey, its supposed to be slightly humerous LOL u nut




The building trade is kinda funny, if you don't have to pay for it


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## Macquack (23 February 2018)

luutzu said:


> The engineer told us that yea, 100mm would be alright, just that builders and concretors, when they read 120 they'll cut it thin to 110 or 100 anyway so he spec 120 else they go to 80. Maybe he has a point, who knows.




He does not have a point. The engineers job is to specify, not to guess what the concretor will do. This is why the world is going to crap, the concretor charges for 120mm and only supplies 100mm,
 with the aid of the engineer facilitating the fraud of a  20% rip off of the customer. One thing for sure, that same engineer would only specify 100mm for his own slab, because he does not like being ripped off himself, but it is alright for you to be ripped off.


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## luutzu (23 February 2018)

Macquack said:


> He does not have a point. The engineers job is to specify, not to guess what the concretor will do. This is why the world is going to crap, the concretor charges for 120mm and only supplies 100mm,
> with the aid of the engineer facilitating the fraud of a  20% rip off of the customer. One thing for sure, that same engineer would only specify 100mm for his own slab, because he does not like being ripped off himself, but it is alright for you to be ripped off.




yea, very true. Somehow I didn't see it that way before. Could be because we subbied every part of the job and always paid for the concrete so they always add to spec. BUt yea for those who don't owner-built, they'll get ripped off.

I have some experience, not much, but some, in the building trade and it's surprising how every trade just subbied their work out to more trades. 

A concretor don't do the setting out, or the formwork. Just pour and level. 

My brother recently called a couple of bricklayers and they want him to get a surveyor in, again, to set out the exact building. He said there's already four points marking the boundary, we've further staked out the building with those H markers and nail. Just re-string the lines.

Nope. We have to put a nail on the dot where he is to lay the brick. All four nails. If he is to do it he'll charge an extra 30 cents a brick. 

Good way to not be responsible. Not sure about getting a job though.


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## explod (23 February 2018)

The Tax Office suspected a Melbourne fishing boat owner wasn't paying proper wages to his deckhands and sent an agent to investigate him.
TAX AUDITOR: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them".
BOAT OWNER: "Well, there's Clarence, my deckhand, he's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1,000 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of the work around here, makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of Bacardi rum and a dozen VB each week to take the edge off of work, and he gets to sleep with my wife occasionally".
TAX AUDITOR: "That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one".
BOAT OWNER: "That would be me. What would you like to know"


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## basilio (26 February 2018)

A subtle joke ?


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## Wysiwyg (26 February 2018)

basilio said:


> A subtle joke ?




There is room at the top they are telling you stilllll
But first you must learn how to smile as you killlll
If you want to live like the folks on the hilllll.

A working class hero is something to be.


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## explod (5 March 2018)




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## basilio (24 January 2019)

Nice touch.


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## bellenuit (24 January 2019)

basilio said:


> Nice touch.





I surprised Bas. I thought you would be above such made up tripe. This is the sort of nonsense that, unfortunately, some of my more gullible facebook friends forward to everyone in their Facebook contact list, several times per week. On a par with the pretty little girl dying of cancer and wants to get 1m hits before she dies. That particular story has been going around in various formats on the net for at least the last 10 years and has been associated with various named airlines or like this one an unnamed airline.

Do you really think that happened?


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## basilio (24 January 2019)

No... Bellenuit. 
Yes it was certainly just a story. I'm quite sure it was made up to entertain lots of people with the theme of the Rich Xitch getting her  brilliant comeuppance when she tried to pull rank.

But this is a thread for (subtle) humour and I thought it definitely fitted the bill.


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## Dona Ferentes (4 February 2021)




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## basilio (5 February 2021)




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## basilio (21 March 2021)

Subtle? Perhaps not. But relatable.


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## basilio (24 March 2021)

Marriage Counsellor: Your partner allows you to make independent decisions ?
Me: *looks at wife*    
	

	
	
		
		

		
		
	


	



Wife: _nods_
Me: Yes, of course


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## Dona Ferentes (5 April 2021)




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## rederob (5 April 2021)

Government concerns about international spies on the increase in Australia have been welcomed by Labor.
Albo's media release this evening pointed out they might have more success than his party in finding a Coalition policy.
"With an election pending it is important that the rest of the world know if Australians would recognise a policy if they saw it.  We wish them luck in their search as we have had none."


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## basilio (13 April 2021)




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## Dona Ferentes (7 May 2021)




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## Joules MM1 (5 August 2021)

so, how about that planet Mars, no air but hey, no masks


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## Dona Ferentes (29 October 2021)

Something about a chip shortage?


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## StockyGuy (29 October 2021)

Was thinking of submitting a quip on the dangers of sodium, but then thought, "Na......"


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## basilio (29 October 2021)

Dona Ferentes said:


> Something about a chip shortage?
> 
> View attachment 132087




Perhaps that "valuable resource" 63 feet ahead is a couple of chips short of a full motherboard ?


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## mullokintyre (11 November 2021)

Ricky Gervais  has a novel take on the perpetually  aggrieved

Mick


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## Dona Ferentes (3 February 2022)

mullokintyre said:


> Ricky Gervais  has a novel take on the perpetually  aggrieved



Am getting a good laugh from RGs latest Netflix series "*After Life*". Uncomfortable, smutty,  oddball characters, elements of truth and clarity, some of the best laughs I've had in ages.


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## basilio (3 February 2022)

Dona Ferentes said:


> Am getting a good laugh from RGs latest Netflix series "*After Life*". Uncomfortable, smutty,  oddball characters, elements of truth and clarity, some of the best laughs I've had in ages.




It is outstanding IMV. Powerful and painful.


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## Knobby22 (6 February 2022)

Headlines you won't see.

Companies to get menial tasks completed by getting Scomo to visit factory.


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## Dona Ferentes (7 February 2022)

Did you hear about the scarecrow that won the Nobel prize? He was outstanding in his field.


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## mullokintyre (8 February 2022)

billy Connolly is always good for a laugh.
Hers talking about  a taboo subject that would probably get him cancelled now.

Mick


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## Humid (13 February 2022)

Be careful she can move in any direction


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## mullokintyre (14 March 2022)

Mick


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## mullokintyre (26 April 2022)

Had to to post it somewhere.


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## basilio (3 May 2022)

Is it time to revist A Modest Proposal ?  This was the carefully considered analysis of Jonathan Swift in 1729 of solving the problems of abject poverty in Ireland.

A Modest Proposal​
For preventing the children of poor people in Ireland,
from being a burden on their parents or country,
and for making them beneficial to the publick.​
by Dr. Jonathan Swift​
1729​


			The Project Gutenberg eBook of A Modest Proposal, by Jonathan Swift


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## Dona Ferentes (3 May 2022)

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.


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## Dona Ferentes (26 May 2022)




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## noirua (19 June 2022)




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## Dona Ferentes (19 June 2022)




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## basilio (5 July 2022)

*Subtle humour ?  Possibly not.  But still droll.*​
‘The main purpose of sex is procreation!’ The politician who wants to crack down on casual sex​Too many Spaniards ‘dedicate their existence to satisfying their sexual desires’, claims Juan García-Gallardo. But is that really why the country is struggling?









						‘The main purpose of sex is procreation!’ The politician who wants to crack down on casual sex
					

Too many Spaniards ‘dedicate their existence to satisfying their sexual desires’, claims Juan García-Gallardo. But is that really why the country is struggling?




					www.theguardian.com


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## Knobby22 (6 July 2022)

basilio said:


> *Subtle humour ?  Possibly not.  But still droll.*​
> ‘The main purpose of sex is procreation!’ The politician who wants to crack down on casual sex​Too many Spaniards ‘dedicate their existence to satisfying their sexual desires’, claims Juan García-Gallardo. But is that really why the country is struggling?
> 
> 
> ...



Some truth in this.


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## mullokintyre (25 July 2022)

I had a damn good laugh over this small trick played on a bunch of blokes.
I doubt if the reaction would have been the same if the gender roles were reversed.

Mick


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## sptrawler (25 July 2022)

Jeez @mullokintyre you have way too much time on your hands.🤣


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## Knobby22 (29 October 2022)




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