The Exceptional Happiness Ideas and Thinking Thread

Something a bit different - How to obtain optimum happiness.

Exceptional wealth is one thing, and it's a good thing, but to me it's a subordinate concept to happiness. If anyone is interested, I'd like to explore ideas on making oneself happy and how that ties in with wealth.

Let's face it, money does matter to happiness in our western society. You need a certain amount of money just to be able to socialize with your peer group.

Going on from the exceptional wealth thread, I like to think more in terms of optimal wealth. How much wealth is enough? Does it profit your emotional being to press further than what is optimal.

Some of the great philosophers postulated about this topic.

Epicurus thought you do need money to a certain level to be happy, but past that it plateaued and could even reduce at greater levels of wealth.

Seneca observed that those with greater wealth were inclined to rage most easily.

Even Lao Tzu was cynical of *excess* wealth.

Through a few quirks of my sporting interests and marriage, I occasionally have socialized with some with truly exceptional wealth. A greater bunch of self absorbed, conceited, unprincipled and truly odious @ssholes I have never met (generally, there are a minority of very nice people).

The very best people I like to be around and seem to be happiest are those who are wealthy enough to socialize in reasonable standard restaurants, buy nice mid-range cars, have reasonable middle class house, travel a bit etc. These people enhance my own happiness, whereas those with not enough money and those with "too much" are a pain in the @ss.

I don't suggest to stop building wealth at x level, but that the clamour for exceptional wealth may be counter productive for the "soul" (with whatever religious or non-religious connotations one likes to hang off that word).

Now I'm not suggesting that all really really rich people are jerks and are unhappy at all, or that poorer people cannot be happy, but that there is an optimum level of wealth. This could even be vastly different for different people.

Discuss?

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay check.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

tech/a said:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone....

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Good one Tech. Where is that from?

wealth is only important to happiness if you let it be. I know happy genuine people who live from pay cheque to pay cheque. I also know of people with lots of money who are a total pain, venal and corrupt.

If I win lotto tonight ($90m this week), I will be ecstatic for a day or two, maybe a week, but I suspect my happiness level will return to normal after about six months. The only truly valuable thing that the money would bring to me would be that I would not have to do paid work again. Given I am currently unemployed I would stop looking for work and do the language study that I never seem to have the time to do.

Key lesson is not to let money control your life - you control it

gooner said:

wealth is only important to happiness if you let it be. I know happy genuine people who live from pay cheque to pay cheque. I also know of people with lots of money who are a total pain, venal and corrupt.

If I win lotto tonight ($90m this week), I will be ecstatic for a day or two, maybe a week, but I suspect my happiness level will return to normal after about six months. The only truly valuable thing that the money would bring to me would be that I would not have to do paid work again. Given I am currently unemployed I would stop looking for work and do the language study that I never seem to have the time to do.

Key lesson is not to let money control your life - you control it

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just because your a total pain, venal and corrupt - doesnt mean your not happy. Those @ssholes that are ridiculusly rich could be incredibly happy : but i doubt it though...

That thing about happyness going back to normal is correct though, theres some scientific term for it that i learnt in psychology last semester... but with anything new that gives you happiness, it will only be temporary because it will become the norm and your 'happiness level' will return to what it was before.

I believe happiness is irrelevant to material possessions but is ultimately determined by out own outlook on life. If we take joy in each day of life that we have, we can be happy day after day... just because of the mere fact that we are still able to get out of bed each day.

wayneL said:

Good one Tech. Where is that from?

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Got it from a friend via email.
I thought it that good Ive had it printed up so I can place it on a card to hand out.
Originally I was going to give it with friends Birthdays/Xmas--- you know---but have since thought about sending it out with Invoices/Quotes/letters.

You know lifes so damned short you just gotta grab all you can!
Anything over 50's a lottery!

If I win lotto tonight ($90m this week),

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To give you a perspective of what chance you have.

Imagine your in the middle of AAMI Stadium in Adelaide.
54000 seats.
On each seat is 2 reams of paper 1000 sheets
Now all the sheets are WHITE except one which is BLUE.

Now tell me which seat and which numbered sheet of paper it is.

(Its Seat 23655 and sheet no 265)

tech/a said:

To give you a perspective of what chance you have.

Imagine your in the middle of AAMI Stadium in Adelaide.
54000 seats.
On each seat is 2 reams of paper 1000 sheets
Now all the sheets are WHITE except one which is BLUE.

Now tell me which seat and which numbered sheet of paper it is.

(Its Seat 23655 and sheet no 265)

Click to expand...

tech/a

Sorry mate you are wrong - AAMI stadium - have to pick the seat, but only 100 sheets of paper of which one is blue. Because I bought 20 games........

1. This is it!

2. There are no hidden meanings.

3. You can't get there from here, and besides there's no place else to go.

4. We are all already dying, and we will be dead for a long time.

5. Nothing lasts.

6. There is no way of getting all you want.

7. You can't have anything unless you let go of it.

8. You only get to keep what you give away.

9. There is no particular reason why you lost out on some things.

10. The world is not necessarily just. Being good often does not pay off and there is no compensation for misfortune.

11. You have a responsibility to do your best nonetheless.

12. It is a random universe to which we bring meaning.

13. You don't really control anything.

14. You can't make anyone love you.

15. No one is any stronger or any weaker than anyone else.

16. Everyone is, in his own way, vulnerable.

17. There are no great men.

18. If you have a hero, look again: you have diminished yourself in some way.

19. Everyone lies, cheats, pretends (yes, you too, and most certainly I myself).

20. All evil is potential vitality in need of transformation.

21. All of you is worth something, if you will only own it.

22. Progress is an illusion.

23. Evil can be displaced but never eradicated, as all solutions breed new problems.

24. Yet it is necessary to keep on struggling toward solution.

25. Childhood is a nightmare.

26. But it is so very hard to be an on-your-own, take-care-of -yourself -cause-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown-up.

27. Each of us is ultimately alone.

28. The most important things, each man must do for himself.

29. Love is not enough, but it sure helps.

30. We have only ourselves, and one another. That may not be much, but that's all there is.

31. How strange, that so often, it all seems worth it.

32. We must live within the ambiguity of partial freedom, partial power, and partial knowledge.

33. All important decisions must be made on the basis of insufficient data.

34. Yet we are responsible for everything we do.

35. No excuses will be accepted.

36. You can run, but you can't hide.

37. It is most important to run out of scapegoats.

38. We must learn the power of living with our helplessness.

39. The only victory lies in surrender to oneself.

40. All of the significant battles are waged within the self.

41. You are free to do whatever you like. You need only to face the consequences.

42. What do you know . . . for sure . . . anyway?

43. Learn to forgive yourself, again and again and again and again. . . .


Sheldon Kopp

tech/a said:

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4...........................................everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

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I agree with tech/a. Smile, be nice to peple and surf every day.

This is actually something I have pondered for many hours and something I have tried to achieve. To me, happiness is the reason for life (another thing I have pondered for many hours).

How is it achieved (just my opinion):

First, one needs to acheive all of the below - with balance between each:

Health - maintaining good health, through both work on fitness and diet, but mainly I believe this is a big element of luck.

Passion (finding what you love and doing it day in and day out). This can include multiple passions, from work, to sport, to art or whatever you find passion in doing.

Wealth - having enough to live comfortably without worry of any financial situation and providing enough to socialise well ( as Wayne stated earlier) and persue your passions and other outside interests (such as travel, which in itself, could be a passion).

Family and friends - good relationships of loyalty and closeness with both family and friends, generally, you will also have a circle of friends who enjoy your same passions.

That's about it for me. These are key and there needs to be balance between all of them.

Note: Passions will also provide goals, another important element.

Maybe you older ducks can add more, if I missed something, for me to think about........

Wayne i know people that are both poor and wealthy and i have learnt the ultimate rule:

*If you cant be genuinely happy when poor what makes you think you will be so much happier wealthy*

The reason i accept this as reality is because i see so many people chasing dreams/lifestyle/wealth and to see they are never happy. If they make $10,000 they spend $10,000 and want more, if they make $100k they spend $100k and still not happy etc...

Not all people are like this but majority are and thats because they havent learnt the golden rule of being happy no matter what level of wealth you are at, because life is just a journey so enjoy it while it lasts.

I admit its hard to be genuinely happy even when your in tough financial/emotional times but its all a challenge and the book "failing forward by John Maxwell" explains this very well.

Anyone can be Poor and Unhappy.
Infact most of us have tried it.
Didnt like it much.

A great thread Wayne.

I cannot put into words what Happiness is so am happy to read others excellent thoughts and ideas.

gg

love oneself

with all flaws included


nice lists boys

u planning on using them ?

My old man's favourite saying:

Money only makes poverty bearable.

This is probably a purely personal view, but I differentiate between happiness and contentment.

To me happiness is a sort of blissful state which even at the time one realises won't last long.

Contentment, on the other hand, feels more like a considered acceptance of having come to a place in life where the striving is over, and a measure of gratitude exists for what has been achieved. A sort of satisfaction or reward for all the effort expended to get there.

*If you cant be genuinely happy when poor what makes you think you will be so much happier wealthy

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I totally disagree with this. I've been poor and it absolutely, utterly sucks.
Never, ever want to go there again. It's not just the lack of money. It's also the resulting diminution of one's self esteem. When you're poor you're powerless. Money buys choices and opportunities.

At the same time, I don't understand that striving for ever more and more wealth. I was today in a group of eight people and we were discussing the 90million Lotto prize. Only two of us said we would be comfortable with that much money. The others couldn't imagine what they would do with it and thought they'd keep five million and give the rest away immediately.

Keep it up folks, I'm letting these nice thoughts and ideas waft over me.

I'm happy.

gg

Wear sunscreen.

Timmy said:

Wear sunscreen.

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hahahahahah great song

great lyrics