How do YOU measure success/failure in life?

[Julia]

after thinking about it, and to be sure of what I should do if that happens to me,
I would pay for the items myself at the counter and directly
but with some self rightous conditions:
would not pay for a box of lollies, crap food or otherwise, or if the lady leaves the bread/flour sugar behind but keep her copy of "new ideas" anyway you see the point.
would that be fair?

Thanks, qldfrog. Sounds fair to me. You wouldn't be concerned that it would perhaps seem condescending/patronising?
A while ago I offered to help a bloke in a wheelchair who seemed to be having lots of trouble managing to reach for something on a shelf. He spat back that he was perfectly able to look after himself thank you, so I'm a bit wary of being intrusive and seeming to interfere.

 

[Trembling Hand]

Happiness = Success= for me is being able to look to the future positively and not look back on my past with regrets

Really? I feel like I have a life time of regrets and missed opportunities.....

That doesn't take away from the few achievements though. They probably go hand in hand. You aim for stuff you are probably going to miss more often than not.

 

[chops_a_must]

Happiness = Success

This brings up one of the great paradoxes of being human I reckon.

Most of the most successful people that I've come across, are also some of the most fundamentally unhappy.

It's the self criticism, that drive that makes them successful, that can also lead to living a tumultuous life.

Which then begs the question I guess about what measure we're looking at.

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

I always revert to Marcus Aurelius on matters such as this.

“Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.”

gg

 

[qldfrog]

Thanks, qldfrog. Sounds fair to me. You wouldn't be concerned that it would perhaps seem condescending/patronising?
A while ago I offered to help a bloke in a wheelchair who seemed to be having lots of trouble managing to reach for something on a shelf. He spat back that he was perfectly able to look after himself thank you, so I'm a bit wary of being intrusive and seeming to interfere.

once got that as well, same as keeping a door open for a lady these days
but what is the risk? in that case, the recipient can go to hell, I keep my $ and everyone is happy
no one seems to have any issue with the ATO taking half of my income to pay for welfare.
I would much prefer paying the reasonable shopping of truely needing people...

 

[Ves]

I always revert to Marcus Aurelius on matters such as this.



gg

He's always a good source in all matters in life. Thank you for the quote.

 

[Julia]

Really? I feel like I have a life time of regrets and missed opportunities.....
.

It's the self criticism, that drive that makes them successful, that can also lead to living a tumultuous life.

Insightful comments. Thanks to you both.

 

[Judd]

Thanks, qldfrog. Sounds fair to me. You wouldn't be concerned that it would perhaps seem condescending/patronising?
A while ago I offered to help a bloke in a wheelchair who seemed to be having lots of trouble managing to reach for something on a shelf. He spat back that he was perfectly able to look after himself thank you, so I'm a bit wary of being intrusive and seeming to interfere.

Ditto, Julia. Once where a bloke was having trouble reaching up to goods on a high shelf, the second when I offered to open a door for a different person who had a lot of goods on their lap. Both offers were spurned with a few terse words. And when I was admonished for not assisting someone, I told the admonisher [sic] that I no longer do so as previous offers ended up with me receiving a mouthful of bile.

As for measuring happiness, it certainly isn't money. I simply delight in going about looking forward to doing things, which maybe as simple as having sandwiches for lunch in a park, and having contact with my family.

 

[prawn_86]

How much Time I have that is mine to spend however I like.

Positive effect on others

Even if it's just one person.

These 2 are both important to me. I am trying to build the first for my future, and am actively working on trying to be better at the 2nd.

Happiness = Success= for me is being able to look to the future positively and not look back on my past with regrets .Regard prior hassles and mistakes as a learning experience.

This is the biggest one for me. I dont want to look back in 5, 10, 50 years time and think "what if i had done X". So far, looking back, there are no big what if moments in my life. I dont have too many personal 'success' goals, my goal is just to be happy and to take advantage of the opportunities life throws at us.

This brings up one of the great paradoxes of being human I reckon.

Most of the most successful people that I've come across, are also some of the most fundamentally unhappy.

It's the self criticism, that drive that makes them successful, that can also lead to living a tumultuous life.

Which then begs the question I guess about what measure we're looking at.

Totally agree. I know some people who finacially have a hell of a lot and i think why not just retire somewhere you like and focus on your hobbies, but it is never quite enough for them and they know they are wealthy and successful, but still not enough to stop thier drive.


Another one that no-one else has added is for me success involves getting out of your comfort zone and gaining new experiences, especially if they are offered to you, much as Wazzas point

 

[kevvo]

This question has been floating around in my head the last few days. I think a lot (if not most) people measure success by the amount of money they have/earn. Some measure it by how happy they are. Some use their children/family life as a measure.

So I'm curious, how do YOU measure success or failure in your life? I mean, what would have to happen for you to call your life a success? A failure? Or perhaps there is no such thing as success/failure in life?

If you got more people smiling than frowning at the very thought of you, id say that's success

 

[chops_a_must]

There you go.

I was just thinking of bringing up Anna Meares. Successful? You bet. Even without Olympic success? Even more so.

 

[Boggo]

There you go.

I was just thinking of bringing up Anna Meares. Successful? You bet. Even without Olympic success? Even more so.

Australian Story on ABC tonight apparently.

 

[Tyler Durden]

Lots of insightful and though provoking responses, thanks to all, I have appreciated each and every single one.

I'm assuming by the way you pose all these questions about money, that you must mix with some people in your work who are of questionable character (deceitful, cunning, manipulative). You think that to become rich you have to be like them, but not all wealth is achieved that way. The majority of it is, sure, but not all.

All the people in my work are of great, noble character, but the latter part of your assumption holds some ground.

 

[Gringotts Bank]

Lots of insightful and though provoking responses, thanks to all, I have appreciated each and every single one.



All the people in my work are of great, noble character, but the latter part of your assumption holds some ground.

ok that's good (about your work). You post a lot about moral issues and money and I was trying to deduce your situation.

There's an common assumption that for one person to have a lot, others must miss out. The underlying belief is that the total amount of wealth available on the planet is finite. There's a big cake of money, and if my slice is big, that means someone else gets a small slice. I used to believe this, now I don't. To follow on from Plato's allegory, for me to change my "cardboard cutouts" from small to big will have no effect on anyone else's reality. Each person creates his own shadows independently and that implies that the available wealth is infinite. To the degree that this insight is not integrated, one must manipulate and deceive in order to accumulate large amounts of wealth*. This old fashioned way of wealth creation is bad karma in the sense that it reinforces poverty thinking. In other words, the more a person manipulates and deceives, the more he must be compensating for a deeper belief that he will never have enough to survive.

*Then again, you can never really steal form anyone either, because whomever you have stolen from has created that himself.

 

[Gringotts Bank]

One other thing I want to say...

Beyond a certain point off 'enough', excess money is used to buy excitement and distraction (flash cars, house, holidays, clothes etc). This excitement and distraction is only ever to cover up a feeling of loneliness, separation and isolation. If there is no underlying feeling of isolation and loneliness, this desire for excess doesn't appear. So the more someone strives to have a lot of money, the more he reinforces the belief that he is unlovable. This is how/why the cycle perpetuates - the more you have, the more you feel you need. The less you strive for excess, the more adequate and complete you feel, (though it might not feel that way to begin with, depending on the degree of addiction). Then a stable kind of peace and happiness is more likely. It's quite paradoxical, but the truth always is.

 

[Trembling Hand]

One other thing I want to say...

Beyond a certain point off 'enough', excess money is used to buy excitement and distraction (flash cars, house, holidays, clothes etc). This excitement and distraction is only ever to cover up a feeling of loneliness, separation and isolation. If there is no underlying feeling of isolation and loneliness, this desire for excess doesn't appear. So the more someone strives to have a lot of money, the more he reinforces the belief that he is unlovable. This is how/why the cycle perpetuates - the more you have, the more you feel you need. The less you strive for excess, the more adequate and complete you feel, (though it might not feel that way to begin with, depending on the degree of addiction). Then a stable kind of peace and happiness is more likely. It's quite paradoxical, but the truth always is.

GB when you going to start your own church?

 

[Gringotts Bank]

GB when you going to start your own church?

Yeh it's a bit like that...sadly. I figure I'm on a few ignore lists already! I do enjoy exercising the brain with some philosophy though.

 

[waza1960]

Really? I feel like I have a life time of regrets and missed opportunities.....

Perhaps I didn't express myself adequately.....
You can't go through two divorces without regrets but what I meant to say was that I don't let the past regrets
shape my future.
I see too many older people being bitter about and dwelling in the past.( life's too short)

 

[CanOz]

Perhaps I didn't express myself adequately.....
You can't go through two divorces without regrets but what I meant to say was that I don't let the past regrets
shape my future.
I see too many older people being bitter about and dwelling in the past.( life's too short)

Yeah i have a few regrets, mostly involving the lack of time spent with the my family. I don't dwell on it though, just got to move on...

CanOz

 

[johenmo]

Interesting reading so far. And what people consider makes one happy, which IMO is linked but not the same as success/failure. Could quote lots I agree & disagree with.

I used to think of career/work being a large portion on it. But not now. It's about how well I have brought up my children to be the members of society that they should be. If they have sufficient humility & compassion & respect for the planet and it's occupants (incl. family) then I think I've been reasonably successful - whether I am rich or poor. Might not be happy but I've been successful.

As for happiness & money, the ability to not have to be worried about it goes a long way to helping one be happy. Having a healthy circle of friends & relationship is also a major contributor. If it was an algorithm, it'd be quite complicated.