Can men ever just be friends with women?

[Smurf1976]

i have been friends with my ex for a few years now, my answer would be yes as the sex already happened so the sexual tension is already gone, with her being interstate probably helps my partner accept our friendship.

Same situation here although the actual relationship breakup was always on good terms (long story that I won't go into ).

Only time it got a bit wierd was when, due to unplanned circumstances, we ended up staying in the same hotel room (separate bunk beds though). That was certainly a strange experience at the time, but not a bad one in hindsight.

So I'd say yes, friendship is possible but it does depend very much on the individuals.

 

[rustyheela]

in the end someone always ends up wanting more, and its not always the guy!!

p.s. im a male and experienced it from both sides

 

[chops_a_must]

Agree with Chops though, you can if your not sexually attracted to her, just hope she is not sexually attracted to you either, it can work both ways!

MUST... GROW.... AnOTHER... MOUSTACHE!!!

 

[gav]

Yes, I am getting good quality and as much quantity as I would like.

BUT..............ever heard the theory about the new cow and the old cow? Something new (and attractive), would always be fun! Perhaps I should have been born into a Muslim community?

LOL! Maybe I'm just boring, I am quite content with the old cow :

 

[nunthewiser]

um.......... i have women friends who i dont use or regard in a sexual maner , i also have other women friends that i often enjoy there freindship and company but also sleep with ..up here at the convent there known as "fark buddys "

we do our thing , go our ways , catch up to go party and if we get on down later .so be it .if not we still had a blast

neither inteferes in each others lives above being friends and i reckon there should be more of it

long live convent livin!

amen

 

[Sean K]

Hell yeh!

I have 2 very long term "Girl friends" Each I have known for over 20 yrs..

Never ONCE had a sexual thought about them Tech? Maybe they read this and you can't answer?

There's still time for the sex thing to get in the way you know, you're not that old.

 

[chops_a_must]

Never ONCE had a sexual thought about them Tech? Maybe they read this and you can't answer?

There's still time for the sex thing to get in the way you know, you're not that old.

They're his daughters.


Sorry Tech, had to score points on the SA thing before someone else did.

 

[tech/a]

They're his daughters.


Sorry Tech, had to score points on the SA thing before someone else did.

Haha.

Only one daughter,that I admit to!

Had the opportunity with both friends when at times we have both been single.
Jointly decided not to and was/is the correct decision.
Mainly because we couldnt handle one another as partners!! Weve been friends long enough to know!

Thats a point you know there comes a time with friends when you know!

Best to do the physical thing when you dont!

 

[Knobby22]

Haha.

Only one daughter,that I admit to!

Had the opportunity with both friends when at times we have both been single.
Jointly decided not to and was/is the correct decision.
Mainly because we couldnt handle one another as partners!! Weve been friends long enough to know!

Thats a point you know there comes a time with friends when you know!

Best to do the physical thing when you dont!

True, Tech.
You can be good friends with women, you just need to have known them well and for a reasonable amount of time.

 

[marklar]

Seems timely to post a link to http://www.laddertheory.com/

The ladder theory is a funny, scientific explanation of how men and women
are attracted to each other. It also covers such topics as why women
sometimes just want to be friends but men always want sex. It is based upon
many years of sociological field testing, and was first conceptualized in
1994 in Exeter, CA by Dallas Lynn with acknowledgements to Jared Whitson for
his role in formalizing the theory

m.

 

[kgee]

kissed a girl I had been friends with for 6 years at a new years eve cocktail party. At the time it seemed like fun.... like we were naughty school kids and it was all a bit of a laugh
but it was weird ....I mean you've had a mate for ages and then you see a totally differrent side to them ..I mean mates are mates , but then when they'ere soft cuddly and doesn't help that theyr'e babes ...man I obsessed about her for 2 days...you know the question kept running in my head what if????WTF
still a little confused, well very confused...good question Kennas,

 

[Sean K]

I've been looking at this from an evolutionary perspective to try and get an answer.

Two things I think are generally true.

Men have a higher lust to weight ratio than females.
Women like to nurture more and have close companionship.

If true, why so?

Perhaps to survive as a species men had to be given an extra shot of testosterone for 2 reasons. One, to fight off T Rex, and two, to keep wanting to put his willy into things, thus the 200 errections every night. Women on the other hand can have one baby every 9 months or so, so what's the point in wanting to have sex every minute? And more importantly, once that baby pops out, it has to be looked after, and who is going to do that? Obviously some unconditional love is required and the famale also needs protecting, thus the companionship. To survive the female is also going to choose a mate that doesn't just get it up, but has the traits required that will allow her and her baby to survive. Back then, this may have been strength and maybe a nice cave.

Two different backgrounds to the sex issue.

Does it mean we can't be friends though? Maybe we've evolved to a point where we don't have to just keep sticking our willies into things?

 

[chops_a_must]

Does it mean we can't be friends though? Maybe we've evolved to a point where we don't have to just keep sticking our willies into things?

I dunno...

GW kept sticking his willy into things which only produced some massive **** ups.

 

[kgee]

I've been looking at this from an evolutionary perspective to try and get an answer.


Women like to nurture more and have close companionship.

Mate where does Paris Hilton fit into this world scanario

 

[chops_a_must]

Mate where does Paris Hilton fit into this world scanario

More to the point... what fits in Paris? Or perhaps more easily answered, what doesn't fit in Paris, in this scenario?

 

[kgee]

More to the point... what fits in Paris? Or perhaps more easily answered, what doesn't fit in Paris, in this scenario?

Dont understand chicks love her!

 

[Who Dares Wins]

Consider this:

One of my mates had a girlfriend for about 5 years that he was living with. I was in a relationship too. All for of us spent alot of time together over those years and I became friends with her too, but in the way that couples do. They would stay at our place for weekends and she would swim in the pool and we would all go away for weekends as well. We were all close.

Coincidentally both my own relationship and there's broke up almost simultaneously.

About 6 months after that had happened I ran into her in a bar in the city one night. We talked for abit, had a drink together, and then went straight back to my hotel and chopped it up all night long.

The thing is, during those years when we had all been friends I had thought she was attractive but can't recall the thoughts going any further than that probably because there were the social constraints in place of us both being hooked up with other people.

As soon as those constraints were removed however, even though we were friends.....bang - game on!

And the other thing is, even though I was and still am very good friends with her ex (my mate) there was no way in the world I considered not sleeping with her because of that reason. She was a female and she got-up, thats all it took. Probably the same for her too.

Face it. It's primal. Our legs are just a transportation system for our DNA.

 

[Spanning Tree]

If it were all about sex then men wouldn't bother with marriage because of its costs (e.g. the average wedding ceremony costs $22,000). They would go for the low-cost option of using a prostitute. With a prostitute they also get good-looking and young girls. The fact that so many men are willing to marry the one girl is proof that there is more to it than sex.

 

[Sean K]

If it were all about sex then men wouldn't bother with marriage because of its costs (e.g. the average wedding ceremony costs $22,000). They would go for the low-cost option of using a prostitute. With a prostitute they also get good-looking and young girls. The fact that so many men are willing to marry the one girl is proof that there is more to it than sex.

I agree there is much more to it. Socialisation of the human over thousands of years has developed our social customs and behaviours, including the invention of monogomy (for the West) and marriage. This has probably come about as a form of social control but also a natural desire to 'nest'. The base instict still may be to have sex with the opposite gender, or as we've discussed elsewhere, with anything else. Men also need companionship of course. Don't really get that with a prostitute, although you hear strange tales of men falling in love with them. I think this is slightly askew to the topic.

 

[Wysiwyg]

I think it goes beyond logic and reasoning but the drama women create after going beyond friends is a turn off to some males yet an exciting game for others.

Size is important in the evolutionary process ...

Certainly, the intense sexual jealousy and competitiveness among human beings strongly suggest that adultery has a long history in our species. (Why would our biology have outfitted us with such traits if utter fidelity were the rule?) In this regard, moreover, testicles have a tale to tell.

Gorillas, despite their large bodies, have comparatively tiny testicles. Those of chimpanzees, by contrast, are immense. The reason for the difference seems clear: Gorilla males compete with their bodies, not their sperm. Once a dominant silverback male has achieved control over a harem of females, he is pretty much guaranteed to be the only male who copulates with them.

Chimps, by contrast, experience a sexual free-for-all, with many different males often copulating in succession with the same adult female. As a result, male chimpanzees compete with their sperm, and they have evolved big testicles to produce large quantities of it. In most species, the ratio of testicle size to body size is a good predictor of how many sexual partners an animal is likely to have.