Confucius Says

[Garpal Gumnut]

Confucius was an interesting guy, and he is still quoted.

By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart.

http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/24070.html

gg

 

[waza1960]

I have a Confucius Joke : Confucius Says that woman that sits on Jockeys Lap sure to get Hot Tip

 

[Knobby22]

Confucius says man who scratch ar-se should not bite fingernails.

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

I have a Confucius Joke : Confucius Says that woman that sits on Jockeys Lap sure to get Hot Tip

Confucius says man who scratch ar-se should not bite fingernails.

I said to myself as I started my thread , would I get a response like the above on the 2nd or 3rd reply.

I was wrong.

Confucius says gg should not try and pick Melbourne Cup winner.

Seriously you pack of mf jackasses, lets get a Confucius thread going.

gg

 

[Calliope]

Confucius say "Long lingering kiss is like spider; leads to undoing of fly".

 

[nunthewiser]

Confucius say " never eat yellow snow "

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

OK, I give up, revenge is best taken luke warm... not sure if its C's.

gg

 

[dbcok]

Confucius says-
Woman who cooks carrots and peas in the same pot very unsanitary
Man who have sex on the side of a hill-not on the level.
Man who fly upside down in plane likely to have big balls up,
Woman who fly upside down in plane likely to have big crack up

 

[Wysiwyg]

Confucius says-
Man who fly upside down in plane likely to have big balls up,

Not entirely true and completely dependent on air temperature for an either compact or relaxed package.

 

[Calliope]

Confucius was very wise but he forgot to copyright his jokes

Crowded elevator always smell different to midget.

Dumb man climb tree to get cherry, wise man spread limbs.

Don't drink and park - accidents cause people.

State of pregnancy exist when woman takes seriously something poked in fun.

He who buries a man's wife alive, should not expect to sit at that man's dinner table without the subject coming up.

He who plays with self, pulls boner.

Baseball all wrong -- man with four balls cannot walk.

House without toilet is uncanny.

Man trapped in brothel get jerked around.

Man's wife his better half, his mistress his better whole.

Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it.

It is good for girl to meet boy in park, but better for boy to park meat in girl.

Man have more hair on chest than woman, but on whole woman have more.

Man who cut self while shaving, lose face.

Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting-image of father.

Man who lay woman on ground gets piece on earth.

Man who plays with self pulls boner.

Man who take sleeping pill and laxative on the same night will wake up in deep sh*t.

Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get tone of A flat miner.

Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters in his own hands.

Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn.

Man who suck woman's tit make clean breast of things.

Man who walk in middle of road get run over by bus.

Wife not part of furniture, until screwed on bed.

Woman laid in tomb may soon become mummy.

Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.

Man who jizz in cash register come into money.

Man with tight trousers is pressing his luck.

Man who gets kicked in testicles, left holding bag.

Man who crosses the ocean twice without washing is a dirty double crosser.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man trapped in pantry have ass in jam.

Don't sweat the petty stuff ... and don't pet the sweaty stuff.

Woman who wear jockstrap have make believe ballroom.

Woman who slides down banister makes monkey shine.

Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out.

Woman who puts detergent on top shelf, jump for Joy.

Now you can get down to the serious stuff GG

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

Thanks Calliope, hopefully all the mahjongsturbators have been exhausted by your orgasmic post.

From the great teacher and philosopher Confucius.

He who learns but does not think, is lost He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger.

gg

 

[CapnBirdseye]

Just to help your efforts out GG...

"The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions."

Talk can be very cheap.

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

Just to help your efforts out GG...

"The superior man is modest in his speech, but exceeds in his actions."

Talk can be very cheap.

thanks CB

When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps

from http://www.everyday-taichi.com/confucius-saying.html

gg

 

[DocK]

Some good ones for you GG:

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.


Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.


Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
http://www.successconsciousness.com/confucius_quotes.htm

 

[Julia]

Great quotes, DocK. I expect the one about experience has particular relevance for you.

 

[DocK]

Great quotes, DocK. I expect the one about experience has particular relevance for you.

Indeed, but it's the "rising every time we fall" that I'm focussed on atm

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

Some good ones for you GG:

"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.


Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.


Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall."
http://www.successconsciousness.com/confucius_quotes.htm

Thanks DocK.

If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself

gg

 

[Julia]

Indeed, but it's the "rising every time we fall" that I'm focussed on atm

Which indeed you are well on the way to doing.

 

[bloomy88]

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

 

[Calliope]

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

I think the most amazing thing about Confucius, bloomy, is that in many of his wise sayings he was able to see into the future and anticipate 20th century technology.