Love

[BradK]

Five Love Languages book. Agree.

Until you read that and understand your partners love language, then you are completely and utterly groping in the dark - which I guess it pretty good in itself but not really sustainable for the 'love to last'.

Brad

 

[Bobby]

How do you know when your in love ?

Answer :- When she slaps you on the back and says your " in " Love

 

[awg]

Someone posted this elsewhere on ASF not long ago, I kept it, I think it's true.

Requirements of a potential partner.(dunno about No4 though)

1) must be kind hearted...any evidence of harshness or cruelty, forget it
2) similar intellectual capacity
3) matched sex drives
4) similar assets
5) know the person for long enough for initial chemistry to wear off

Hi Mr B,

twas me said that, was there more on that list?, cant remember

To clarify why No4, re assets; in an ideal world, it helps keep the love pure, if it is unsullied by financial neccesity.

Even better financial independence. Then you choose to love or walk away.

In reality most couples today must work as a team, which is also good, almost a neccessity.

Also, in so many cultures, where marriages are arranged, to an extent by the family, they wont dream of letting people of dissilmilar wealth get together, not saying I agree with those customs, but with so many adherants to those practices, there would be good reasons why they do that

Have seen a few situations where one person having assets, caused them to attract gold-diggers, which isnt whats love is supposed to be about, is it?? but as mentioned in my last couple of posts, is not uncommon, to some degree.

Maybe that is one form of love, where rich dudes get to marry the best lookers, certainly been going on a while.

 

[wayneL]

A while ago somewhere
I don't know when,
I was watching
a movie with a friend.
I fell in love with the actress.
She was playing a part
that I could understand.

Neil Young

And turn the volume up!

A man who understands love (and one of my favourite artists )

 

[MrBurns]

Hi Mr B,
twas me said that, was there more on that list?, cant remember
To clarify why No4, re assets; in an ideal world, it helps keep the love pure, if it is unsullied by financial neccesity.

Good advice especially the first one.

A good friend of mine's marriage broke up after 32 years, they were always regarded as the perfect couple.

He started to drink a bit too much and would fall asleep easily etc anyway she left him.

He asked her why she married him in the first place and she said, it was convenient at the time..................

After 32 years ????

Maybe a few of the ladies out there might throw some honest light on this - do women marry for security only, and how common is this ? Do they just pretend to love the guy ?

Come on ladies be honest.


and and and .....................while were at it ladies tell us how can a guy tell if someone is genuine.

We blokes havent got a clue, we look into your eyes and we melt and all sense goes out the window, we need protecting, we need you to tell us the truth about how we can tell if a woman is genuine.

 

[jono1887]

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

- Corinthians 13

 

[MrBurns]

"She doesn't use her love to make him weak. She uses love to keep him strong." - Stevie Wonder

 

[Wysiwyg]

How do you know when your in love ?

Answer :- When she slaps you on the back and says your " in " Love

A missionary man I see.

 

[Bobby]

A missionary man I see.

Yes

How about you ?

 

[Wysiwyg]

Yes

How about you ?

No, I prefer women.

 

[wayneL]

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

- Corinthians 13

A nice passage. Even The Skeptics Annotated Bible likes some of that. http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/1cor/13.html

 

[Julia]

Good advice especially the first one.

A good friend of mine's marriage broke up after 32 years, they were always regarded as the perfect couple.

He started to drink a bit too much and would fall asleep easily etc anyway she left him.

He asked her why she married him in the first place and she said, it was convenient at the time..................

After 32 years ????

This isn't uncommon. If a couple have both been working, then retire, suddenly they find themselves together 24 hours a day and they realise they have little in common.
Surely better to go their own ways than spend their remaining years bickering about everything?

Maybe a few of the ladies out there might throw some honest light on this - do women marry for security only, and how common is this ? Do they just pretend to love the guy ?

Mr B. to make the suggestion that women marry 'for security' suggests that women are usually less well off than men. This isn't necessarily so.
And why would women regard men as a source of security? If a woman is financially independent, isn't she going to want to marry someone because she genuinely cares about him?
What would be the point in pretending anything?

I doubt that that's common at all. Rather I think many people get caught up in their basic biochemistry, and mistakenly regard this as 'love', then think the automatic sequelae is to get married or at least live together.
Hence the high rate of divorce. When the lust wears off, there isn't enough left to sustain a relationship.

and and and .....................while were at it ladies tell us how can a guy tell if someone is genuine.

We blokes havent got a clue, we look into your eyes and we melt and all sense goes out the window, we need protecting, we need you to tell us the truth about how we can tell if a woman is genuine.

Why do you think women don't have exactly the same problems?
You're suggesting that women are machiavellian in manipulating you poor blokes, when in fact I'd say just as many blokes have pulled the wool over women's eyes.

 

[Bobby]

No, I prefer women.

Think you mean the opposite , at least your a truthful poof

 

[MrBurns]

This isn't uncommon. If a couple have both been working, then retire, suddenly they find themselves together 24 hours a day and they realise they have little in common.
Surely better to go their own ways than spend their remaining years bickering about everything?


Mr B. to make the suggestion that women marry 'for security' suggests that women are usually less well off than men. This isn't necessarily so.
And why would women regard men as a source of security? If a woman is financially independent, isn't she going to want to marry someone because she genuinely cares about him?
What would be the point in pretending anything?

I doubt that that's common at all. Rather I think many people get caught up in their basic biochemistry, and mistakenly regard this as 'love', then think the automatic sequelae is to get married or at least live together.
Hence the high rate of divorce. When the lust wears off, there isn't enough left to sustain a relationship.


Why do you think women don't have exactly the same problems?
You're suggesting that women are machiavellian in manipulating you poor blokes, when in fact I'd say just as many blokes have pulled the wool over women's eyes.

Thanks Julia my invitation was actually aimed at you.

I note your comments but still the outstanding question remains, how can a guy tell if a woman is genuine ?

I'll give you the opposite answer when I get yours.

 

[springhill]

Mr B. to make the suggestion that women marry 'for security' suggests that women are usually less well off than men. This isn't necessarily so.
And why would women regard men as a source of security? If a woman is financially independent, isn't she going to want to marry someone because she genuinely cares about him?
What would be the point in pretending anything?

I doubt that that's common at all.

I know quite a few girls who constantly talk about the wage 'their man' is pulling. Some have blatantly said if it wasn't for the man's wage they wouldn't still be with them.
Can't say i've heard one of my mates go on & on & on about how much their missus earns.

Think you are giving your sisters too much credit there

Then again maybe i'm just hanging round the wrong people LOL

 

[jono1887]

This isn't uncommon. If a couple have both been working, then retire, suddenly they find themselves together 24 hours a day and they realise they have little in common.
Surely better to go their own ways than spend their remaining years bickering about everything?

Because once the kids move out, on of the chemicals that keeps you in 'love' stop getting produced :

 

[MrBurns]

Because once the kids move out, on of the chemicals that keeps you in 'love' stop getting produced :

Yes but you didnt have kids when you got married.

 

[Wysiwyg]

Think you mean the opposite , at least your a truthful poof

Thanks for the slap on the back matey.

 

[MrBurns]

Sometimes music says it all, Ray Charles............

You give your hand to me
And then you say hello
I can hardly speak
My heart is beating so
And anyone can tell
You think you know me well
But you don't know me

Oh you don't know the one
That thinks of you at night
Who longs to kiss your lips
And yearns to squeeze you tight
No I'm just a friend
That's all I've ever been
You just don't know me

I never knew the art of making love
Though my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by
The chance that you might love me too

You give your hand to me
And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy
You'll never, never know
The one who loves you so
You just don't know me

I never knew the art of making love
Though my heart aches with love for you
Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by
The chance that you might love me too

You give your hand to me
And then you say goodbye
I watch you walk away
Beside the lucky guy
Who'll never, never know
The one who loves you so
You just don't know me

You'll never, ever know
mmmm, cause you just don't know me

 

[Wysiwyg]

Sometimes music says it all, Ray Charles............

That passage says he did not handle rejection at all too well.

"You don`t know me." "The lucky guy." Yearns to squeeze you tight" etc.etc.

Probably a subtle dump gone wrong.