What Not to Buy Her for Christmas

[Julia]

Frances Whiting from the "Sunday Mail" has some tips for you blokes on what not to buy your cherished partners. Thought maybe you could do with this help.
Btw what are you all planning to give to the love of your life?

DO NOT GIVE HER:

1. Any piece of exercise equipment whatsoever. This includes exercise bikes, Ab Blasters, Thing Swingers, Tummy Toners, Weight Belts or anything advertised by Suzanne Somers.

2. Novelty Christmas underwear - you know how you think we would really love that bright red G-string with the little reindeer head attached to the crotch and the flashing antlers? We won't.

3. Biographies by sporting greats. Hard to believe, I know, but we can think of better holiday reading than "Bend it like Beckham, the Unofficial Biography'. We could, however, be persuaded to glance at 'Bend it with Beckham' should that ever come out on DVD.

4. Celebrity perfume. We do not want to be given scents by Mariah Carey, Hilary Duff, Paris Hilton or Britney Spears, because many of us find these women annoying and have no wish to smell like them. Also there are so many scents out, it becomes confusing. Britney, for example, currently has three perfumes on the market - Curious , Fantasy, and Believe - although it is difficult to tell what Britney believes in these days. Not in wearing underpants, clearly.

5. 'The Stripper's Guide to Looking Great Naked.' This book, no matter how well intentioned, does not say to us: I still think after all these years, you are a very sexy woman. It says: I don't like the way you look with your clothes off.

6. Any product by Nigella Lawson. This includes cookbooks, DVDs, aprons, kitchen utensils or any one of the myriad gifts in Nigella's range. This is because we are jealous of her and don't want to give her any more money.

7. Kitchen appliances. If you can plug it in, whip it, chop it, blend it, toast it or julienne it, we don't want it, not least because many of us don't know what julienne means.

Good luck fellas, and happy shopping.

(from Frances Whiting)

So there you have it. Don't risk any of the above.
What do you have in mind that will ensure utter devotion from your partner for at least the first half of 2008?

 

[Yeti]

Btw what are you all planning to give to the love of your life?

A big meaty bone and a packet of Schmackos

 

[Nyden]

Frances Whiting from the "Sunday Mail" has some tips for you blokes on what not to buy your cherished partners. Thought maybe you could do with this help.
Btw what are you all planning to give to the love of your life?

DO NOT GIVE HER:

1. Any piece of exercise equipment whatsoever. This includes exercise bikes, Ab Blasters, Thing Swingers, Tummy Toners, Weight Belts or anything advertised by Suzanne Somers.

2. Novelty Christmas underwear - you know how you think we would really love that bright red G-string with the little reindeer head attached to the crotch and the flashing antlers? We won't.

3. Biographies by sporting greats. Hard to believe, I know, but we can think of better holiday reading than "Bend it like Beckham, the Unofficial Biography'. We could, however, be persuaded to glance at 'Bend it with Beckham' should that ever come out on DVD.

4. Celebrity perfume. We do not want to be given scents by Mariah Carey, Hilary Duff, Paris Hilton or Britney Spears, because many of us find these women annoying and have no wish to smell like them. Also there are so many scents out, it becomes confusing. Britney, for example, currently has three perfumes on the market - Curious , Fantasy, and Believe - although it is difficult to tell what Britney believes in these days. Not in wearing underpants, clearly.

5. 'The Stripper's Guide to Looking Great Naked.' This book, no matter how well intentioned, does not say to us: I still think after all these years, you are a very sexy woman. It says: I don't like the way you look with your clothes off.

6. Any product by Nigella Lawson. This includes cookbooks, DVDs, aprons, kitchen utensils or any one of the myriad gifts in Nigella's range. This is because we are jealous of her and don't want to give her any more money.

7. Kitchen appliances. If you can plug it in, whip it, chop it, blend it, toast it or julienne it, we don't want it, not least because many of us don't know what julienne means.

Good luck fellas, and happy shopping.

(from Frances Whiting)

So there you have it. Don't risk any of the above.
What do you have in mind that will ensure utter devotion from your partner for at least the first half of 2008?

Phew, good thing the vacuum I've gotten her isn't on that list! Nor is the shower cleaning kit.



Realistically though, I haven't decided yet! I might just buy a pair of sapphire this, or diamond that (the night before of course)... Last year I think I just got a couple of hundred in chocolates for her, & some sort of spa-pamper thing, & I believe a lantern!

 

[profithunter]

A big meaty bone

haha...nice

 

[Nyden]

haha...nice

I don't think he was making a dirty joke there, I believe he was implying that the love of his life is his dog (Or her)

 

[chewy]

That's a good list Julia lol. I'm getting her a handbag she's been hassling about buying on the net for ages - seems boring I know but she'll be stoked.

Best pressie I ever got her was a hand made ring (original), white gold with 5 small diamonds inset around equally spaced in a ring (looks sort of like a diamond studded silver ring). Wasn't that expensive (<$500) but she always wanted a diamond ring and loves it.

 

[prawn_86]

7. Kitchen appliances. If you can plug it in, whip it, chop it, blend it, toast it or julienne it, we don't want it, not least because many of us don't know what julienne means.

What if that is what she has asked for? along with another present as a suprise of course

 

[nioka]

What if that is what she has asked for? along with another present as a suprise of course

If she asks for one of those and she needs it, then it shouldn't be a present, should it?. Just get it ,but not for Christmas.

 

[Prospector]

I don't think he was making a dirty joke there, I believe he was implying that the love of his life is his dog (Or her)

Yep, I think he got that!

 

[Pat]

If she asks for one of those and she needs it, then it shouldn't be a present, should it?. Just get it ,but not for Christmas.

If she NEEDS it she should buy it.

 

[Nyden]

Yep, I think he got that!

I choose to believe the worst in people, ergo I believe he may not have :

 

[justjohn]

Does this list work in reverse ,last year I got some David Beckham aftershave

 

[Julia]

What if that is what she has asked for? along with another present as a suprise of course

I guess then that's a whole different prospect, Prawn. But perhaps the surprise gift should be something really, umm, romantic.

 

[Julia]

Does this list work in reverse ,last year I got some David Beckham aftershave

Hmm, maybe there was a message there, Justjohn. Maybe we need to refer that one back to Frances Whiting? I have sent her an email with a request for her interpretation.

 

[ithatheekret]

I'm with Prospector .... period .

That a gal just got to have gold and sparklies and all the nice things .

That what I usually give my gal .

Don't get them anything they wouldn't like , just because you like it , doesn't mean they will .

My sweetheart wants a new bathroom , it's getting together on that and a new kitchen eventually . She is undisputively worth it , because of her alone I have 4 fantastic investments and she's the fixed interest that supplied them . She constantly raids my wallet ( along with the kids in a way ) , but I couldn't careless . Her salary is excellent , but without hesitation , when bills come in , she is the first to pay them . I usually find the invoice paid .

So when you do go to buy that present , remember what it was that first made you like each other , then all she has done for you , right down to those menial tasks the male likes to avoid ( such as moi ) . Then reward her appropriately , if your kids are naughty .... give them a lump of coal

 

[Trembling Hand]

So come on guys what are you getting your special girl for X-mass besides the Schmackos?

 

[x2rider]

Hi folks

My partner has said that she wants a rolling pin , ironing board ,sewing machine and a clothes basket .
I find all these items to be of an extremely practical nature and will get these for her . I will even gift wrap them

^The rolling pin is a bit of a concern though not quite sure about that one . But she has assured me this is is of a high priority

With me buying all that she wants for christmas , I can only see happy times coming for me over the christmas break

Cheers martin

 

[Timmy]

So come on guys what are you getting your special girl for X-mass besides the Schmackos?

Well, she is special, so I think I might get her the new Porsche 911 GT3*.
















*Matchbox version.

 

[gordon2007]

Her birthstone is amethyst. Got her a gold ring with amethyst stone surrounded by diamonds (i think just diamond chips, nothing too fancy but nice enough). Around the $500 range. A box of belgium premium chocolates and a wine carrier, black leather. She's constantly bringing a bottle of red here there and whereever, thought it was good. That's probably it, although I always reserve the right to get some other smallish items as I see fit.

Ladies....is that alright or do ya reckon I need to get more?

So come on guys what are you getting your special girl for X-mass besides the Schmackos?

 

[cuttlefish]

...
DO NOT GIVE HER:
...
1. Any piece of exercise equipment whatsoever.
...
2. Novelty Christmas underwear
...
3. Biographies by sporting greats.
...
4. Celebrity perfume.
...
5 'The Stripper's Guide to Looking Great Naked.'
...
6. Any product by Nigella Lawson.
...
7. Kitchen appliances.

alright - looks like power tools are ok!

I also don't see outboard motors or pool tables on the list either - so I'm on the right track by the sounds of it. I don't know why we need to read all that "women are from venus" stuff - this is easy!