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What's love?

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My wife and I actually wrote this in someones wedding guest book.

"Love is doing things to make each other happy, regardless of the consequence to yourself".

Seeing all the little things those kids wrote is both reassuring and heart-warming. I guess thats how you know youre in love: when youre prepared to do the most unselfish acts for each other. I go shopping with my wife and give opinions about clothes when id rather pull my finger-nails out.
:1luvu:
 
This couple and good on them...

Doesn't matter what or how you are, if they can do it - hope for everyone

 
Bobby said:
Anyone care to give an explanation of the word Love outside of the family connection.

Now I know this is an esoteric question but some people need to hear this word or they get the poops with you .

Whats your advice please ?.

Bob.
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love's like a trend. its often difficult to see until youre in it, and its painful when it turns on you.
 
An evolutionary adaption to make us want to have sex and stay together long enough for the children to survive.
 
I've just finished reading a book (a classic I am told) on this very subject by a contemporary of Freud (a one-time disciple) called Theodor Reik.

Written in the 1940s (and not your easy read - although certainly not a textbook) it takes a swipe at Freud's belief that love is "aim-inhibited sex" (whatever that means!).

It is really quite a disturbing hypothesis. Romantic love - that feeling of being sick in the stomach - is, according to Reik, a sort of of sickness that comes about when one is lost, panicking, in need of psychic change etc. and this happens a while before the lover is found. But the really disturbing part is that we unconsciously hate - yes hate and envy - the chosen one, for having what we don't have, before we eventually turn it all about and lose it for him/her. The lover, too, is complicit in the game of being psychologically uncomfortable to begin with.

He backs it all up with references to literature and extraordinary insight.

Love from hate? No love possible without envy? Envy???!!!

And yes, he talks of other forms of love too, and the death of love, but with the same hypothesis in mind. No wonder it hasn't caught the imagination, but I can't help but now think - having read the book - that he is on to something.

Why did I ever fall for some of these women? I must have been out of my...

Get Reik's point?
 
To paraphrase Bukowski

"Love is like a fog that dissipates with the clear light of reason"

 

All sorts out there Bobby. That's probably one of the tamer sites on the internet, but the bold part still makes me laugh every time I hear it .

wayneL said:
Not only insightful, but smart, profound, wise. Whatever happens to us when we become adults?
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I think you are being dramatic here, and ideally I think we want to be able to think like both a child and an adult. Why we usually change? Well, we go through life building a model of how we think the world works. When we're young and the model is very incomplete, we search for information and are more willing to adjust the model. As we get older and our model becomes more complete (as flawed as it may be), we search for information less and are not as willing to change it, i.e. we're more narrow-minded.

Another consideration is that children see the world as simple, and it gets increasingly complex as we age. However, it also remains simple, but as adults we don't usually recognise that.

I don't think we need to lose it as we get older, it may just require an adjustment in thought-process. I think the key is just to keep an open mind and actively seek other perspectives. I think both children and adults see the world in black and white, and the middle ground sees it in grey. I know adults think they see the world in grey, but I don't think most really do. Maybe they realise it's grey, but they just don't see it in grey.

Edit, I've just realised the topic is about love. What is love? Everyone has an answer, and I have a few (I think different types of love could use different answers), but I'll go with chemical reaction.
 
Mr J said:
Edit, I've just realised the topic is about love. What is love? Everyone has an answer, and I have a few (I think different types of love could use different answers), but I'll go with chemical reaction.
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I was in Wimbledon Village today with my missus. While having a coffee at the local French cafe, there was the hottest woman I've seen for a long time; I wanted to behave like a caveman and... well, you know. Failing that, I just wanted to stare.

That was definitely a chemical reaction (a rather strong one in fact .

Not doing so - giving my wife the attention she deserves... that was love.

(and I still think kids are wiser than adults )
 
wayneL said:
Not doing so - giving my wife the attention she deserves... that was love.

(and I still think kids are wiser than adults )
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No, that was self-preservation :.

Perhaps you're ignoring the foolish things that children get up to. Wiser? I doubt so. Just another perspective, and as usual, this other perspective can be refreshing and valuable.
 
Simply put, to me, being in love is a totality of many things. These can consist of companionship, trust, friendship, empathy and a host of many other thoughts and feelings. I’ve loved and been in love before. I think there are many different levels of love. I also think there is only one true perfect love in a lifetime.

The love I have now is the bridge that enables me be the best I can be. It is, my perfect love.
 

I had the same thing happen to me when I was in a relationship prior to Mrs. Moxjo. It was in a shopping center off all things, and I saw the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I didn't take wayneL's lead. Instead my eyes bulged out of my head.

I noticed my girlfriend in my peripheral vision. And as I turned to her with mouth agape and the sound of drool hitting my shoes, she landed a slap that left her hand print across my face for the rest of the day.
 

I learned very early that women's peripheral vision is far superior to ours. They miss nothing. My missus even knows when I'm using my own peripheral vision.
 
wayneL said:
I learned very early that women's peripheral vision is far superior to ours. They miss nothing. My missus even knows when I'm using my own peripheral vision.
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Yes I learnt my lesson... I bought a pair of sunglasses so she couldn't tell if I was looking. Oh and learnt not to hang my mouth open.
 
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