Tips for guys on gals & vice versa

[GreatPig]

Don't put cigarette butts down the sink or into the insinkerator

Ugh... just don't smoke!

To me, a smoker is almost as attractive as a 400 pound walrus with warts and boils and an IQ of 5.

GP

 

[It's Snake Pliskin]

Ugh... just don't smoke!

To me, a smoker is almost as attractive as a 400 pound walrus with warts and boils and an IQ of 5.

GP

Yes women who smoke are just uncool. And it stinks.

 

[RichKid]

Rich
My sincere thanks for the flowers - they are gorgeous! From now on I will only ever see you and your comments in a totally positive light, will support every opinion you offer, and in fact hang on your every word!
See what flowers can do?

Truly, fellas, give her flowers, often.

Julia

Hey Julia,

Geez! So it works! that easy, wish real flowers didn't cost so much but if that's the reaction everytime from a woman (which, alas, it isn't) then they're worth it! Thanks too for the tips, they certainly wont go to waste, I will have to subscribe to this thread so I don't forget stuff.

Basically trying to understand the other person (be it man or woman) seems to be the main issue and showing concern for their feelings, but in real life it's sometimes hard to even communicate the tiniest thing when we don't put enough effort into it, taking people for granted I suppose is one thing I'm guilty of.

I like the quote from the Indian shop, but in those societies there are certain obligations which are woven into their social and religious fabric about what men and women are obliged to do so they get a helping hand from age old culture and tradition. And certain things which are called 'stereotypes' here are accepted as characteristics there.

I like the pun on 'sentence' Bronte (good one!) but it doesn't have to be that bad if you find the right person.

This thread is good, must dig up my old copy of Dale Carnegie and have a look. Keep em coming, this thread might just help a few people lead happier lives.

 

[Smurf1976]

Yes women who smoke are just uncool. And it stinks.

Smoking. Been there, done that quite a while ago and never again. But to quote my partner when she quit smoking last year "I've just realised what the :swear: I've done".

And a few weeks later "Now I know all about this thing called Hell and I'm never going there again".

So I do have some sympathies for those hooked on smoking and neither of us do the lecture thing although anyone who smokes and happens to comment on Ms Smurf's weight had better start running before she has a chance to respond.

Weight loss. Now there's something both of us are supposed to be doing but in my defence it's dark outside and... Seriously, we weigh and measure each other (so there's no cheating!) once every fortnight to try and keep this fitness thing on track.

 

[Julia]

Yes women who smoke are just uncool. And it stinks.

If you recall, forum readers, I was complaining about the husband who smoked - how did it become a comment on women who smoked?
Doesn't matter which gender - it's a dumb thing to do. However, I echo the sympathy expressed for anyone trying to give it up - nicotine is more addictive than heroin. Those who have never smoked simply have no comprehension of the battles fought by the addicted nicotine devotee.
Anyway, that's getting away fromthe thread.

Keep the thoughts coming - anonymity provides an interesting base for the free expression of beliefs and biases. After all, this stuff is what we are all basically here for, I guess.

Can I add a slight variation on the theme? To those of you who feel you are really happy in your relationships,what are the things that make it work?
What compromises do you both have to make? What things are still a barrier in free communication? On a scale of 1 - 10 where would you rate your relationship? (1 being crappy - 10 being blissfully perfect).

Julia

 

[kerosam]

ok,

no. 1: Flowers (what if i just met her, like 2 weeks ago?)

no. 2: Be honest but gentle and accommodating (not too much)

no. 3: No smoking (yep agreed, stinks the breath and creates hole in wallet)

no. 4.... keep it rolling folks.... i'm going to turn these threads into a book!

 

[Smurf1976]

To those of you who feel you are really happy in your relationships,what are the things that make it work?
What compromises do you both have to make? What things are still a barrier in free communication? On a scale of 1 - 10 where would you rate your relationship? (1 being crappy - 10 being blissfully perfect).
Julia

I think that both of us not being into the emotional insecurity stuff that seems to dominate many relationships helps a lot. I do think too much of that goes on in some relationships and it leads to problems IMO.

We do have broadly similar interests which helps although there are some differences. Honesty with each other helps a lot too, indeed I think that is our strongest point really. We are both comfortable enough with each other to accept hearing words we would rather weren't true and certainly wouldn't want to hear from anyone else.

And of course a sense of humor is essential. Indeed we wouldn't have got to the first date without a damn good sense of humor. It's a very long story but in short she locked herself out of the house (I'm 99% sure it was a genuine accident) and I never want to have to be literally squeezed through a cat door again... That was before we went out for dinner and by the time we finally got there we had completely lost all the normal first date inhibitions and anxiety so it went incredibly well.

I'll pass on the score out of ten but pretty good so far.

 

[keebab]

Compatibility for me comes from being creative together. We work together and play together. Our passion has always come from exploration and doing different things together. It means we are always searching for a new beach, a ruin, a film project, a business idea, a dance class, a language class... whatever?! Anything to share, to explore, to make work.

Do we think alike all the time? Absolutely not, our politics, tastes in food, film and many other things differ completely.

One of the things I think it is most important for guys to remember is that a woman's disapproval of something you love (be it a film, code of football, a friend, a habit) is usually not a reflection of you personally. I used to get so bent out of shape when my girlfriend expressed how she didn't like some of my friends. I used to take it so personally. It was not a dig at me but a genuine expression that she wasn't comfortable around them. The last thing she wanted was for me to ditch them but she was definately not into coming out with us.

We have plenty to learn about the other gender but thats part of the fun of it all isn't it?

Cheers

Mick

 

[RichKid]

Do we think alike all the time? Absolutely not, our politics, tastes in food, film and many other things differ completely.
.......We have plenty to learn about the other gender but thats part of the fun of it all isn't it?
Cheers
Mick

Great post Mick, so we can still be compatible despite a number differences provided we understand those and focus on our similarities and build on them. It's a good point you raise about some women not getting on with our mates, I think you put the issue really well.

 

[kerosam]

do ladies really want guys to open their car doors for them? if they say it doesn't matter or no need, what does it mean?

 

[tarnor]

do ladies really want guys to open their car doors for them? if they say it doesn't matter or no need, what does it mean?

I had this mate who went on a first date with a girl and although i can't remeber the full details.... some how he managed to slam her head in the car door trying to be a gentleman. he didn't get a second date after that hehe

-------------

i wouldn't recommend that gentleman stuff unless you make it into light humour, and to poke fun at.. if a guy trys to hard and gets all nervous like... its a big turn off, makes him seem clingy and a suck.. i think we make the mistake of thinking that girls wants to be treated like a princess, but it seems that they more so want to be fully engaged emotionally and taken on an adventure of the emotions.. instead of learning cliched gentleman stuff. you will do much better learning how to create a narrative of adventure, where you and her are the major players exploring some bizarre circumstance that you could possibly get yourself into. a narrative fantasy where you and her are the center of the world...

just my 2c anyway..

 

[RichKid]

Just been doing some 'revision' to refine my habits by reading this thread, or maybe I'm just bored and need to laugh at myself (being an unreconstructed male).

Another tip: learn to cook and actually cook for her, makes you appreciate how tiring it can be to do day in and day out...and of course she'll love you for it (provided you can cook properly). Oh, and keep the kitchen tidy and wash up afterwards.

 

[RichKid]

I had this mate who went on a first date with a girl and although i can't remeber the full details.... some how he managed to slam her head in the car door trying to be a gentleman. he didn't get a second date after that hehe

-------------, but it seems that they more so want to be fully engaged emotionally and taken on an adventure of the emotions.. instead of learning cliched gentleman stuff. you will do much better learning how to create a narrative of adventure, where you and her are the major players exploring some bizarre circumstance that you could possibly get yourself into. a narrative fantasy where you and her are the center of the world...

just my 2c anyway..

That's hilarious Tarnor! The old 'slam the door on her head' trick! poor girl.

An emotional adventure, nice way of putting it, great tip too, they do seem to love talking about stuff like that for hours...

 

[Mumbank]

This thread is so cute!!

I am one of those people in a really happy relationship for 7 years now. Haven't married 'cause we haven't got around to it and both been there before, unhappily, obviously.

We work and live together which suits us both, never tire of each other's company and in fact fiercely guard our time together. Between us we have 5 children which can cause some difficulties especially last year when 1 of each of ours did their HSCs - boy was that trying!!!!!!

We share love of footy (NRL and AFL), horse racing, drinking (too much sometimes), we compete strongly against each other at pool (after too much drinking), good food and most particularly sitting on our deck at the end of the day and just talking. We never run out of topics or things to say and nothing is off limits (although BIG TIP HERE, don't EVER criticise your partner's child - HUGE mistake).

We love to cook together on the weekends when we have no children - that is one of life's pure joys (the cooking together).

Most importantly we put each other and our relationship FIRST. Consideration, consideration, consideration works for both of us and most other people.

Oh, and of course, FLOWERS, FLOWERS, FLOWERS and don't forget guys the new female version of viagra - its called Jewellery!!

But seriously, no amount of flowers or jewellery or gifts of any kind will make up for being inconsiderate and/or disrespectful.

Cheers everyone - here's to great relationships

 

[crackaton]

This thread is so cute!!

I am one of those people in a really happy relationship for 7 years now. Haven't married 'cause we haven't got around to it and both been there before, unhappily, obviously.

We work and live together which suits us both, never tire of each other's company and in fact fiercely guard our time together. Between us we have 5 children which can cause some difficulties especially last year when 1 of each of ours did their HSCs - boy was that trying!!!!!!

We share love of footy (NRL and AFL), horse racing, drinking (too much sometimes), we compete strongly against each other at pool (after too much drinking), good food and most particularly sitting on our deck at the end of the day and just talking. We never run out of topics or things to say and nothing is off limits (although BIG TIP HERE, don't EVER criticise your partner's child - HUGE mistake).

We love to cook together on the weekends when we have no children - that is one of life's pure joys (the cooking together).

Most importantly we put each other and our relationship FIRST. Consideration, consideration, consideration works for both of us and most other people.

Oh, and of course, FLOWERS, FLOWERS, FLOWERS and don't forget guys the new female version of viagra - its called Jewellery!!

But seriously, no amount of flowers or jewellery or gifts of any kind will make up for being inconsiderate and/or disrespectful.

Cheers everyone - here's to great relationships

Yep just basicially do trivial things because for some weird reason women like this.

 

[RichKid]

Yep just basicially do trivial things because for some weird reason women like this.

crack, mate, you're lucky this is just an online forum or you'd have had a few glares and possibly a handbag at the back of your head by now!

Maybe, that's the point- it's not trivial to her, and if it's 'trivial' it should be easy to do- except we don't often see that it's important, coz us guys think it's trivial.
Ok, tied up in knots already. How confusing. Now where were those Options greeks threads that Wayne did for us, way easier....

 

[RichKid]

This thread is so cute!!

Hi Mumbank,

Glad you like the thread. Might actually be life saving for some of us blokes! hehehe

Thanks for the tips, glad you are so happy together, keep it going. It's great when two people get on.

(btw, why 'mumbank'- if you don't mind me asking? Do you always give pocket money to the kids (and 'dad'!?).

 

[Mumbank]

Hi RIchkid

"Mumbank" is because my kids seem to think that I am a bank, although now there is only 1 left at school and she has a part time job so they are not as financially draining as they were. BTW she is saving up to get her first share portfolio!!!

I also couldn't think of anything else at the time.

Also I don't give any money to 'dad' he works hard for his own.
Cheers

 

[RichKid]

Hi RIchkid

"Mumbank" is because my kids seem to think that I am a bank, although now there is only 1 left at school and she has a part time job so they are not as financially draining as they were. BTW she is saving up to get her first share portfolio!!!

I also couldn't think of anything else at the time.

Also I don't give any money to 'dad' he works hard for his own.
Cheers

Hi Mumbank,
Apologies for the very late reply. I thought that was it, looks like you're all sorted financially.
Sounds like 'Ms Mumbank jnr' is going to be retiring early if the savings are going on shares and not holidays! You've certainly launched the ship in the right direction.

 

[mista200]

The only real tip that is of any value is guys must have confidence!!!! High self esteem and huge amounts of confidence are what women look for.....apart from money!

ps chicks that smoke are cool in my book!