This guy's so shy he's never kissed a girl

Junior · 15 September 2009

Had my first kiss at 16 and lost the V plates at the ripe old age of 21. Certainly later than the vast majority of my friends, which made me feel a bit uncomfortable at the time but as it turned out not really a big deal at all.

I strongly recommend spending time travelling/overseas if you want to gain some experience with women before searching for a long term partner. It's a hell of a lot easier to meet people and have a few one night stands when you're travelling and away from your home town.

Mofra · 15 September 2009

jono1887 said:
Well whats the point if you don't see them as part of your future?? I'm not that kind of person..

Depends on your definition of future. I've been single for over a year now and in that time met plenty of women I've eventually had a future with - often that future starts and ends in a measurement of hours though

stocksontheblock · 15 September 2009

Sorry to jump into the middle of all the pointless banter about all women being hookers, yet what makes any one of you think that this load of rubbish is in fact a real story?

Sounds like a right load of excrement to me!

awg · 15 September 2009

jono1887 said:
I'm not nervous around women.. just never met a female i wanted to kiss.

you lie! (he shouts)...either that, or..(no offense intended)

Mr J · 15 September 2009

jono1887 said:
Yes, i have... but i honestly dont think the same thing does not apply to sexual partners.

Probably because you view sex differently. Sex may not be as big an issue once you have it.

Yep, I can say that I would only want to have a relationship with someone I can see having a future with.. otherwise my investment of time, money and what not would be wasted... i don't want to make investments with no foreseeable future.

Probably because you're making the investment that they will be in your future, while I'm making an investment that they will be here for now. I take life one day at a time, while keeping an eye on the future. If a fling turns into a marriage, fine, but I don't go into anything expecting to marry the girl later down the road. It's just not sensible given that most relationships will not last.

I've found many women attractive in my time... doesn't mean I gonna go out and start kissing ever second one i meet. There are a lot of other factors things that I look for other than looks in a partner.

Nobody has suggested you have to kiss every girl you meet, but it might be a start. Kissing and sex is a lesser deal after you've done them, and maybe you'll discover playing with a girl is fun, regardless of your vision of the future .

Also.. just because I find someone attractive, doenst mean they feel the same way :

A bit of a snag. I say have a few beers and find a nice girl to have some fun with. Worst case you feel it was a waste of time eek, or maybe you discover that "for now" isn't so bad. Up to you, but I like trying new things, never know if you don't try.

nunthewiser · 15 September 2009

Mr j you are a tart

please do not corrupt this nice young man

stocksontheblock · 15 September 2009

jono1887 said:
Yep, I can say that I would only want to have a relationship with someone I can see having a future with.. otherwise my investment of time, money and what not would be wasted... i don't want to make investments with no foreseeable future.

I'm a little older than 18, so please take this for all the good advice in the world, don’t share this 'view' with women or any woman, particularly ones you might kiss one day.

Unless of course you want to be single, and actually never kiss a girl (without having to pay for it) be sure to ask them if your time and money and efforts will be a 'good investment'

jono1887 · 15 September 2009

stocksontheblock said:
I'm a little older than 18, so please take this for all the good advice in the world, don’t share this 'view' with women or any woman, particularly ones you might kiss one day.

Unless of course you want to be single, and actually never kiss a girl (without having to pay for it) be sure to ask them if your time and money and efforts will be a 'good investment'

You don't go out right and tell them You can get a general idea after getting to know someone if they're someone you can foresee spending your future with..

Solly · 15 September 2009

jono1887 said:
You don't go out right and tell them You can get a general idea after getting to know someone if they're someone you can foresee spending your future with..

jono, it might be prudent to throw up some data in a graphical format for you at this point.

drsmith · 15 September 2009

Solly said:
jono, it might be prudent to throw up some data in a graphical format for you at this point.

The workplace is a lot like marriage in that respect.

Smurf1976 · 15 September 2009

gav said:
Surely you could see I said the above comment in jest...

Good on you Jono for standing by your beliefs/opinion. It shows character. The world would be a boring place if we were all the same.

All good, no worries.

For me though, driving a conservative car and not wearing fancy clothes works nicely as a screening method for getting rid of women I'd rather not waste my time with.

nunthewiser · 15 September 2009

dear Mr J

i hearby apologise for calling you a tart

i hope i did not hurt your feelings

it was a spur of the moment comment

thankyou

a sincerely repentant nun

Julia · 15 September 2009

jono1887 said:
You don't go out right and tell them You can get a general idea after getting to know someone if they're someone you can foresee spending your future with..

Jono, whilst I respect your point of view, I wonder if you're taking the whole boy/girl thing a little too seriously for your age?

I'm not sure how you will know when the 'right person'' comes along if you don't have a few, um, friendships with girls beforehand. It's these early, experimental relationships that help us understand what we like and don't like.
e.g. you may have to accept that no one girl will ever fulfil the sort of very high standards you seem to be expecting.

I'm assuming you mix with the opposite sex at uni, general social life etc?

Is it possible that your unwillingness to engage in a casual relationship might be due to some level of fear on your part? My apologies if that's way off base, but it's quite common to avoid situations about which we feel less than comfortable.

You come across as a pretty serious young bloke. Do you think there could be a case for just having fun?

Please don't regard the above as criticism. Just a suggestion.

jono1887 · 15 September 2009

Julia said:
Jono, whilst I respect your point of view, I wonder if you're taking the whole boy/girl thing a little too seriously for your age?

I'm not sure how you will know when the 'right person'' comes along if you don't have a few, um, friendships with girls beforehand. It's these early, experimental relationships that help us understand what we like and don't like.
e.g. you may have to accept that no one girl will ever fulfil the sort of very high standards you seem to be expecting.

I'm assuming you mix with the opposite sex at uni, general social life etc?

Is it possible that your unwillingness to engage in a casual relationship might be due to some level of fear on your part? My apologies if that's way off base, but it's quite common to avoid situations about which we feel less than comfortable.

You come across as a pretty serious young bloke. Do you think there could be a case for just having fun?

Please don't regard the above as criticism. Just a suggestion.

I am not someone with extremely high standards that is not flexible. I do mix with the opposite sex at uni, social life and so on.

I dont think its fear thats stopping me from taking part in casual relationships. I just dont believe in 'casual' relationships with women. I have friendships with women, but I would rather not engage in a casual relationship when they are friends that I dont see having a future with (as a long term partner).

Also, I'd like to add that I don't believe in sex before marriage for religious reasons. Although this does not apply to kissing or any other forms of intimacy... I am careful about who I get close to and on how intimate I get...

And no.. i dont think there is a case for just having fun... this case has also been applied to sex and just see where society has gone..

drsmith · 15 September 2009

jono1887 said:
Also, I'd like to add that I don't believe in sex before marriage for religious reasons. Although this does not apply to kissing or any other forms of intimacy... I am careful about who I get close to and on how intimate I get...

And no.. i dont think there is a case for just having fun... this case has also been applied to sex and just see where society has gone..

Take the above a bit less seriously otherwise you'll end up being an old fart with nothing but regrets.

jono1887 · 15 September 2009

drsmith said:
Take the above a bit less seriously otherwise you'll end up being an old fart with nothing but regrets.

I'll admit I should be less serious about kissing.. but I do not want to be regretting loosing my virginity to the wrong person... I fully intend on waiting till marriage.

drsmith · 16 September 2009

Principals (religious or otherwise) are one thing but if you are too rigid that could be a very long wait.

jono1887 · 16 September 2009

drsmith said:
Principals (religious or otherwise) are one thing but if you are too rigid that could be a very long wait.

I'm in no rush... got plenty of time ahead of me...

Mr J · 16 September 2009

nunthewiser said:
dear Mr J

i hearby apologise for calling you a tart

i hope i did not hurt your feelings

it was a spur of the moment comment

thankyou

a sincerely repentant nun

Hey, no reason not to call a spade a spade .

I'll admit I should be less serious about kissing.. but I do not want to be regretting loosing my virginity to the wrong person... I fully intend on waiting till marriage.

After they first have sex, most people regard virginity as something overrated. You can't know this because you haven't had sex, but it's likely that once you do, you'll regret your decision. I can't say you will, just that you probably will.

To the wrong person? Then who is the right person? If you get married, it's a coinflip whether or not it is the right person. Judging by your standards so far, you may never meet someone you will marry.

Waiting until marriage is really not a great idea, as many people will break up over sexual incompatibility. You will not know how compatible you are with your partner until it is too late. Good luck, I hope you don't live to regret your decision. Don't take this as me trying to change your mind, just presenting the flipside of the coin for you to consider.

Julia · 16 September 2009

Mr J said:
To the wrong person? Then who is the right person? If you get married, it's a coinflip whether or not it is the right person. Judging by your standards so far, you may never meet someone you will marry.

Waiting until marriage is really not a great idea, as many people will break up over sexual incompatibility. You will not know how compatible you are with your partner until it is too late.

So true. Jono, you probably imagine it will automatically be shooting stars and everything that's wonderful, but not necessarily. This is one instance where we could definitely apply the 'try before you buy' principle.

Even when you do marry, it sounds rather as though your expectations will be so rigid, any young woman would find it pretty difficult to meet these.

This guy's so shy he's never kissed a girl

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