- Joined
- 26 March 2014
- Posts
- 20,125
- Reactions
- 12,752
McLovin , if you were sitting in front of me and reclined your seat in my face that would make my hands shake with rage and with your luck I would be holding a cup of hot coffee at the time.
The Knee Defender
- Thread starter Tisme
- Start date
McLovin , if you were sitting in front of me and reclined your seat in my face that would make my hands shake with rage and with your luck I would be holding a cup of hot coffee at the time.
- Joined
- 2 June 2011
- Posts
- 5,341
- Reactions
- 242
So you'd assault someone who purchased a service and is legally using it. Great stuff.
And seriously, "reclined your seat in my face" have you ever actually been on an aircraft?
- Joined
- 26 March 2014
- Posts
- 20,125
- Reactions
- 12,752
So you'd assault someone who purchased a service and is legally using it. Great stuff.
Of course not, it would be completely accidental.
Garpal Gumnut
Ross Island Hotel
- Joined
- 2 January 2006
- Posts
- 13,825
- Reactions
- 10,645
I don't see why people cannot just sit upright on planes.
Pushing the seat back on a fellow passenger is pure rudeness.
gg
Pushing the seat back on a fellow passenger is pure rudeness.
gg
- Joined
- 22 August 2008
- Posts
- 914
- Reactions
- 20
After one particular flight I now always travel business class. (Of course I'm going to share this awful tale below) On the issue of reclining seats...I'm average height for an Australian male - 5'10" I am not overweight.
The chairs in economy accommodate me just fine, seat in front reclined or not (they are after all designed to fit the average person). I've been quite happy flying economy for many many years...
However onto my disaster flight that made me swear I'd never fly economy again...
My Cattle Class nightmare...
I was on a flight where I was unfortunately situated between a couple of mining scruffs. These were large blokes who looked like they grew up mainly on a diet of suet and beer. Overweight, smelt like they hadn't showered in days, nor understood the word 'deodorant', I honestly couldn't tell you if the person in front of me reclined their seat or not...it made no difference to my epically bad travel experience....which was not the fault of the carrier.
The problem was not the front after all...but the sides, where I had on my left Sweaty McCoughalot, whose knee appeared to have an independent existence from the remaining blubbery mass and thought it was a small humping dog. Sweaty jiggled his knee through the entire...damn...flight, probably because he needed a smoke. The urgently thrusting knee of moist wanting (hereby referred to as Jigglyknee) meant my own legs had very little room and had to be placed ramrod straight out in front of me. My flesh literally crawled on my left hand side, and would have abandoned the good ship Sir O if it could. My left shoulder was curled away as much as possible. Sweaty McCoughalot, who smelled as if he'd chain-smoked an entire pack of cigarettes before getting on the flight would frequently lean towards me and would charmingly waft his halitosis and stale cigarette-smoke breath across me to speak to his good friend on my right hand side...Sniffy Itchytesticles.
Before you ask...of course I asked if they would like to sit next to each other, but they were aware of the realities as intimately as I was. The chairs could barely accommodate their bulk, up against each other they could have quite possibly been part of the accidental mile high club. They had selected seats apart from each other deliberately so that they would have more room to spread....and there were no spare seats on the flight. For the next three hours I was trapped.
Sniffy, built to the same scale as Sweaty, sniffed 148 times during the flight and adjusted his tackle 17 times. How do I know you ask? Well because I needed to distract myself somehow whilst I started the small psychological war for the armrest. (I lost btw) Sniffy was also a grand master at the art of sniffing. This wasn't gentle lady-like sniffs. I swear I heard Sniffy swallow a few times after his protracted loud nostril inhalations. He also worked somewhere with loud machinery and spoke above a normal volume as he would periodically give his testicles a vigorous going over. He had a process to access that hard to reach spot in the cramped confines of an aircraft seat and I dutifully relate it to you below...
Step 1 Undo your seat belt. This will be the signal for the guy in the middle chair to mutter "F(&^ me not again." Do not let this put you off.
Step 2) Thrust left leg into middle aisle making sure your boot impacts the person sitting next to you right on the talocrural joint. The pain will make them move their leg and then you occupy the space.
Step 3) If you have the armrest proceed to step four. If you do not have the armrest, leaning slightly to the left and sniffing, making sure you inhale deeply will puff your chest out. This will force your shoulders into the middle passenger and make him abandon the armrest. Claim it with authority.
Step 4) With a claw-like grip on the end of the armrest, raise your right ass-cheek off the seat as if you were going to fart. If you do fart, don't worry, it adds to the experience of those around you.
Step 5) As much as is possible, widen you legs and use your right hand to vigorously scratch at your right testicle. Make sure you do the job properly and spend at least thirty seconds in your attempt at genital relief.
Step 6) Flop back into your chair, making sure you don't release the armrest. Sniff loudly at a job well done.
Step 7)(Optional) Grudgingly give the guy in the middle seat some slack and move your left leg back.
I'm still trying to block out the slobbering sounds that occurred during the meal service that sounded to my now less than charitable imagination as if Cthulhu were hoovering up an errant sacrificial victim....on either side of me.
I tried many forms of defence in my failed war for my allotted 31 inch seat and periodic occupancy of the armrest, but it was all for naught. I tried the knuckle cracking technique (which drives my daughter insane) but was obviously only useful against teenage girls and not these beefy mining blokes. I leaned forward frequently to rest my curled in shoulders and sighed...they spoke to each other in the gap between my back and my chair. I brought out the magazine and put down the tray...and Jigglyknee was making the tray table wobble. I ordered several bottles of water in the hope that I would annoy them with frequent trips to the loo that Sweaty McCoughalot would move to the middle seat...no joy....he just stopped getting out of his seat, forcing me to try and negotiate past him to reach my seat.
Needless to say, I set a personal best record in the number of trips to the toilet, and time spent standing around the cabin talking to the stewards.
I WILL NEVER FLY CATTLE CLASS AGAIN
Does anyone else have a horror story?
Cheers
Sir O
The chairs in economy accommodate me just fine, seat in front reclined or not (they are after all designed to fit the average person). I've been quite happy flying economy for many many years...
However onto my disaster flight that made me swear I'd never fly economy again...
My Cattle Class nightmare...
I was on a flight where I was unfortunately situated between a couple of mining scruffs. These were large blokes who looked like they grew up mainly on a diet of suet and beer. Overweight, smelt like they hadn't showered in days, nor understood the word 'deodorant', I honestly couldn't tell you if the person in front of me reclined their seat or not...it made no difference to my epically bad travel experience....which was not the fault of the carrier.
The problem was not the front after all...but the sides, where I had on my left Sweaty McCoughalot, whose knee appeared to have an independent existence from the remaining blubbery mass and thought it was a small humping dog. Sweaty jiggled his knee through the entire...damn...flight, probably because he needed a smoke. The urgently thrusting knee of moist wanting (hereby referred to as Jigglyknee) meant my own legs had very little room and had to be placed ramrod straight out in front of me. My flesh literally crawled on my left hand side, and would have abandoned the good ship Sir O if it could. My left shoulder was curled away as much as possible. Sweaty McCoughalot, who smelled as if he'd chain-smoked an entire pack of cigarettes before getting on the flight would frequently lean towards me and would charmingly waft his halitosis and stale cigarette-smoke breath across me to speak to his good friend on my right hand side...Sniffy Itchytesticles.
Before you ask...of course I asked if they would like to sit next to each other, but they were aware of the realities as intimately as I was. The chairs could barely accommodate their bulk, up against each other they could have quite possibly been part of the accidental mile high club. They had selected seats apart from each other deliberately so that they would have more room to spread....and there were no spare seats on the flight. For the next three hours I was trapped.
Sniffy, built to the same scale as Sweaty, sniffed 148 times during the flight and adjusted his tackle 17 times. How do I know you ask? Well because I needed to distract myself somehow whilst I started the small psychological war for the armrest. (I lost btw) Sniffy was also a grand master at the art of sniffing. This wasn't gentle lady-like sniffs. I swear I heard Sniffy swallow a few times after his protracted loud nostril inhalations. He also worked somewhere with loud machinery and spoke above a normal volume as he would periodically give his testicles a vigorous going over. He had a process to access that hard to reach spot in the cramped confines of an aircraft seat and I dutifully relate it to you below...
Step 1 Undo your seat belt. This will be the signal for the guy in the middle chair to mutter "F(&^ me not again." Do not let this put you off.
Step 2) Thrust left leg into middle aisle making sure your boot impacts the person sitting next to you right on the talocrural joint. The pain will make them move their leg and then you occupy the space.
Step 3) If you have the armrest proceed to step four. If you do not have the armrest, leaning slightly to the left and sniffing, making sure you inhale deeply will puff your chest out. This will force your shoulders into the middle passenger and make him abandon the armrest. Claim it with authority.
Step 4) With a claw-like grip on the end of the armrest, raise your right ass-cheek off the seat as if you were going to fart. If you do fart, don't worry, it adds to the experience of those around you.
Step 5) As much as is possible, widen you legs and use your right hand to vigorously scratch at your right testicle. Make sure you do the job properly and spend at least thirty seconds in your attempt at genital relief.
Step 6) Flop back into your chair, making sure you don't release the armrest. Sniff loudly at a job well done.
Step 7)(Optional) Grudgingly give the guy in the middle seat some slack and move your left leg back.
I'm still trying to block out the slobbering sounds that occurred during the meal service that sounded to my now less than charitable imagination as if Cthulhu were hoovering up an errant sacrificial victim....on either side of me.
I tried many forms of defence in my failed war for my allotted 31 inch seat and periodic occupancy of the armrest, but it was all for naught. I tried the knuckle cracking technique (which drives my daughter insane) but was obviously only useful against teenage girls and not these beefy mining blokes. I leaned forward frequently to rest my curled in shoulders and sighed...they spoke to each other in the gap between my back and my chair. I brought out the magazine and put down the tray...and Jigglyknee was making the tray table wobble. I ordered several bottles of water in the hope that I would annoy them with frequent trips to the loo that Sweaty McCoughalot would move to the middle seat...no joy....he just stopped getting out of his seat, forcing me to try and negotiate past him to reach my seat.
Needless to say, I set a personal best record in the number of trips to the toilet, and time spent standing around the cabin talking to the stewards.
I WILL NEVER FLY CATTLE CLASS AGAIN
Does anyone else have a horror story?
Cheers
Sir O
- Joined
- 14 February 2005
- Posts
- 15,372
- Reactions
- 17,745
I'm just glad to be living in an era where air travel is even possible.
Even just two generations ago, air travel was not something that most people did frequently, and it's not that long ago in the overall scheme of things that nobody did it because there was no such thing.
As for reclining seats, on a long haul flight (say, Australia to USA) I can see the point of it certainly. But if someone feels the need to go to sleep on a flight from Melbourne to Adelaide or Hobart well that's just silly really. You'd get less than an hour at most and that's a bit pointless I think. Just read a book, look out the window or whatever.
For some reason, flying always seems to give me extra energy anyway. Flew Melbourne - Los Angeles without even a brief moment of sleep then spent the whole day exploring LA, no jet lag for me. For that matter, a few years ago I got up on Thursday morning and went to work as usual, got two hours sleep overnight, flew Hobart - Melbourne - Adelaide on Friday morning, went straight to a music festival then went out partying that night. Still got up on Saturday morning and wasn't tired. So flying seems to keep me wide awake. It does play havoc with my ears though, that's not good.
Even just two generations ago, air travel was not something that most people did frequently, and it's not that long ago in the overall scheme of things that nobody did it because there was no such thing.
As for reclining seats, on a long haul flight (say, Australia to USA) I can see the point of it certainly. But if someone feels the need to go to sleep on a flight from Melbourne to Adelaide or Hobart well that's just silly really. You'd get less than an hour at most and that's a bit pointless I think. Just read a book, look out the window or whatever.
For some reason, flying always seems to give me extra energy anyway. Flew Melbourne - Los Angeles without even a brief moment of sleep then spent the whole day exploring LA, no jet lag for me. For that matter, a few years ago I got up on Thursday morning and went to work as usual, got two hours sleep overnight, flew Hobart - Melbourne - Adelaide on Friday morning, went straight to a music festival then went out partying that night. Still got up on Saturday morning and wasn't tired. So flying seems to keep me wide awake. It does play havoc with my ears though, that's not good.
Garpal Gumnut
Ross Island Hotel
- Joined
- 2 January 2006
- Posts
- 13,825
- Reactions
- 10,645
I still reckon it is crook to recline your seat, limiting another person's personal space.
My impression is that those who recline their seats are of that class of people who have not couth.
gg
My impression is that those who recline their seats are of that class of people who have not couth.
gg
- Joined
- 26 March 2014
- Posts
- 20,125
- Reactions
- 12,752
Indeed. They like telling people "if you don't like it, buy a ticket in business class'. Why don't THEY buy a business class ticket so they can recline without attracting the ire of those behind them ?
PS
Nice little bomb you threw into this quiet place Tisme. I notice you haven't been around to defend your initial position.
Value Collector
Have courage, and be kind.
- Joined
- 13 January 2014
- Posts
- 12,238
- Reactions
- 8,485
Indeed. They like telling people "if you don't like it, buy a ticket in business class'. Why don't THEY buy a business class ticket so they can recline without attracting the ire of those behind them ?
PS
Nice little bomb you threw into this quiet place Tisme. I notice you haven't been around to defend your initial position.
lets face it, the seats barely even recline anyway, its not like they are a lazy boy couch.
I think the problem is that people seem to think they own all the space in front of them, the way I see it is that when I purchase my ticket it includes the space that my seat reclines back into, and the person in front of me owns the space their seat reclines into.
Now if someone is overly tall, or lets me know they are uncomfortable, offcourse I am not going to recline back, however this is me giving up the space I am entitled to voluntarily, and on the same note, I am not going to stop the person in front reclining.
Well expressed. Throwing in a touch of courtesy is usually all that is required.
So many global comments here. Every situation is a different one. A person on a short flight may be exhausted by having just transited from a very long one. Another person with a medical condition causing severe fatigue may need to recline and sleep on a short flight. And how easy to tell any person that, if they want to recline, they should fly Business class. Has it dawned on such advocates that most people can't afford to do so?
I don't usually enter these discussions but this one is downright silly. If there are those among you who consider that reclining reclinable seats is rude or inconsiderate or whatever............... Write to the airlines and your political representatives.
I read the expression "keyboard warrior" in my local paper today... It seems to fit some contributors to this thread.
Garpal Gumnut
Ross Island Hotel
- Joined
- 2 January 2006
- Posts
- 13,825
- Reactions
- 10,645
If one cannot sit upright on a domestic flight then one is medically unfit to travel.
I consider any recliners as greedy inconsiderate people, stealing my personal space.
gg
explod
explod
- Joined
- 4 March 2007
- Posts
- 7,341
- Reactions
- 1,198
Get the welder out and make them all upright. A lot less pain than those who are not allowed to smoke.
By the way, i dont' smoke but do remember the pain.
By the way, i dont' smoke but do remember the pain.
- Joined
- 22 November 2010
- Posts
- 3,661
- Reactions
- 11
Don't much believe it, but the rumour is that air was cleaner in the smoking days because the air was scrubbed and recycled.
??
I'm personally opposed to reclining seats but from debates in the past I've seen on this topic it seems to be a 50/50 split in preference. I think there is a market for airliners to offer non-reclining flights but my concern would be they would see that as an opportunity to cram even more seats in the plane.
I don't mind the person in front of me reclining just a little but the seats recline too far and its when someone utilises that recline to the maximum that troubles me, just hope they have washed their hair.
I don't mind the person in front of me reclining just a little but the seats recline too far and its when someone utilises that recline to the maximum that troubles me, just hope they have washed their hair.
Tisme
Apathetic at Best
- Joined
- 27 August 2014
- Posts
- 8,954
- Reactions
- 1,152
Nice little bomb you threw into this quiet place Tisme. I notice you haven't been around to defend your initial position.
Me? You talking to me!! Why would I throw an incendiary, it's not in my nature.
I'll predict one thing though :- next time those laissez faire posters get on a plane in the cheap seats they will welcome the unrefined rabble tilting their seats back into their facial space and thought bubble how fair they are being, given the complaint Tisme made as OP. Then very gradually the discomfort will set in, the impudence 'o meter starting to wind up, the claustrophobia and finally the rage at the dunderklumpen with the very annoying nut that is supposed to house a working brain.
Lookout it might be me reclining back onto you!!!
Personally I don't recline on shorter flights, I prefer to stick my nose in a good book, but telling someone they can't recline on a long overnight flight would be difficult. A while ago the good lady and I made the executive decision to stop flying cattle class - the extra money spent results in a better overall "experience", more well rested etc, and is nothing compared to the money we spend while on holidays.
Complaining about comfort on a $29 one way Jetstar flight is amusing though...
Complaining about comfort on a $29 one way Jetstar flight is amusing though...
Another global comment.
CanOz
Home runs feel good, but base hits pay bills!
- Joined
- 11 July 2006
- Posts
- 11,543
- Reactions
- 519
I always get a window seat, travel on the first flight of the day if possible. So i use the recline and sleep when ever i can, reading in between or listening to music. I always try and use the recline outside of the meal routine as i also find it annoying for people to recline when i'm trying to eat....
I fly a few times a month on average, so not allot but enough to have my own routine. I would suffer even more if i could not recline, being of average height and weight.
Having said all the above i travel mostly in Asia, where 99% of the people fit in one seat. I can understand why some other people on the planet don't like reclining seats, but as another poster said, they are quite happy to pay for cheap flight and little leg room...
CanOz
I fly a few times a month on average, so not allot but enough to have my own routine. I would suffer even more if i could not recline, being of average height and weight.
Having said all the above i travel mostly in Asia, where 99% of the people fit in one seat. I can understand why some other people on the planet don't like reclining seats, but as another poster said, they are quite happy to pay for cheap flight and little leg room...
CanOz
