Saturday's popcorn discussion - Love and 'The One'

disarray · 12 July 2008

love can be seperated from the biological side quite easily. you can breed with any female of appropriate age and don't need to "love" them.

there's also a few different kinds of love and they can manifest themselves differently. some girls are nice and over time you respect and grow to love them, this sets the tone for a stable, loving relationship (but maybe not all that exciting)

other girls get your fires raging with a look and you immediately want to possess and go all caveman on them. the relationship is fiery and passionate and your possessiveness and jealousy can become confused with love.

imo real love is when its more about the other persons feelings than your own. taking a step back from pheremones and wallets and t1ts, true love is when you would gladly give of yourself for another.

i think there are potentially many "The One's", these are partners who are a mental, emotional and sexual match for you, and theres probably plenty of people who would fit the bill but a fair bit of sifting through potentials would be required to find it.

natashia · 12 July 2008

kennas said:
This isn't very romantic is it?

What about romance, and fluttering of the heart, and flowers, and candlelight dinners, and all that stuff?

oh oh yeah thats better...you want my mobile??? lololol

PS
You forgot the cupids arrow butt thingo ....hahha still laughing at that..I won't forget that one

Sean K · 12 July 2008

disarray said:
love can be seperated from the biological side quite easily. you can breed with any female of appropriate age and don't need to "love" them.

Yes, separating love from sex? I'm on that. Easy for blokes.

But what about the girls?

I'm thinking generalities right now.

Girls want love, or sex?

Sean K · 12 July 2008

disarray said:
i think there are potentially many "The One's", these are partners who are a mental, emotional and sexual match for you, and theres probably plenty of people who would fit the bill but a fair bit of sifting through potentials would be required to find it.

Yes, yes, many potentials. Just depends on time and space perhaps.

So, when someone is waiting for 'the one' they really mean, 'I'm waiting for someone the suits me in my time and space'.

So, it's more about me than you?

Maybe.

Perhaps when we get in a relationship and you come up against the 'it's not you, it's me' BS, we can see that it actually really is the other person.

2020hindsight · 12 July 2008

disarray said:
.. there's also a few different kinds of love and they can manifest themselves differently. some girls are nice and over time you respect and grow to love them, this sets the tone for a stable, loving relationship (but maybe not all that exciting)

other girls get your fires raging with a look and you immediately want to possess and go all caveman on them. the relationship is fiery and passionate and your possessiveness and jealousy can become confused with love.

imo real love is when its more about the other persons feelings than your own. taking a step back from pheremones and wallets and t1ts, true love is when you would gladly give of yourself for another.

i think there are potentially many "The One's", these are partners who are a mental, emotional and sexual match for you, and theres probably plenty of people who would fit the bill but a fair bit of sifting through potentials would be required to find it.

top post..

There's also (imo) two ways to decide on "the one" - when you're a) young and green, or b) a bit older and both of you have hopefully "been around" .. I'm guessing the second type of marriage - where you settle down because - and when - you WANT to settle down - lasts better.... But no doubt others would disagree - and the only generalisation is probably that you can't generalise

PS what flaming advice to give a kid? lol -
a) I strongly suggest , - son, daughter - you don't get yourself into a predicament where you wake up one morning in Vegas married to someone you didn't know the day before

natashia · 12 July 2008

disarray said:
other girls get your fires raging with a look and you immediately want to possess and go all caveman on them. the relationship is fiery and passionate and your possessiveness and jealousy can become confused with love.

Yes that really hisses me off with this scenario....You typically lose yourself in this type of false sense of security... love... blah blah

I‘m not going to bring some iriot into my world, and if I’m not sure about him, I’m cautious…( err sometimes)...

My list is all about balance.... "cough":bowdown:
You can have smart but not funny.
You can have funny but not very smart.
You can have intellectual but not social.
But I want it all!
I love big brains.
I love to be outdoors.
I love music, I love laughter and humour
I love to have conversations!
I love to exercise
I live like arrrgh! everythanggggggggggggggg

I don’t do anything half-S’ed...... somebody who can keep up with all that as well as possess the same worldly goods....I want someone who can show me something, you know different. so I don’t think I am asking too much ..do you? :couch
lolololol yeah ok

Bushman · 12 July 2008

Yep I get it - sort of a steven hawking/bob dylan/david attenborough/scooby doo/superman/joe bloggs hybrid?

Birdster · 12 July 2008

"my wife told me I was one in a million. I thought that was great until I found out I was!"

Quote -Rodney Dangerfield (November 22, 1921 – October 5, 2004)

disarray · 12 July 2008

kennas said:
So, it's more about me than you?

well ultimately it is your life and you need to do what will bring you most happiness overall. being in an unsatisfactory relationship and then deciding to get married and have kids isn't very sensible and will end up causing more hurt to more people later down the track.

love is when you don't mind giving up a bit of yourself for someone else, it depends on how much you are willing to give away. that's largely a personality thing.

natashia said:
My list is all about balance.... "cough"
You can have smart but not funny.
You can have funny but not very smart.
You can have intellectual but not social.
But I want it all!
I love big brains.
I love to be outdoors.
I love music, I love laughter and humour
I love to have conversations!
I love to exercise
I live like arrrgh! everythanggggggggggggggg

yeah women can be difficult to unravel at times :

Wysiwyg · 12 July 2008

kennas said:
So, another question.
Is love biological, psychological, or psychiatric?

Conclusively psychological.

Perception of love (what is thought to be experienced) is a desire, be it sub-conscious or conscious, to attach oneself to something.Be it human, animal, car, money, hiking, whatever.It is a thought process in which we agree with.

.

natashia · 12 July 2008

disarray said:
yeah women can be difficult to unravel at times :

Bushman said:
Yep I get it - sort of a steven hawking/bob dylan/david attenborough/scooby doo/superman/joe bloggs hybrid?

LOL ahuh you guys are proof that we women havagoodsenseofhumour:::

natashia · 13 July 2008

Oh wow did I kill a thread???…. After all that was THE famous quotation from Cameron Diaz…..hit the nail on the head for me…in a nutshell…

2020hindsight · 13 July 2008

natashia
seems us men get bored on the topic lol.

We can get away with that...
Until we have to give advice to our kids

I whipped up this poem a couple of weeks back - blaming the saying "plenty of fish in the ocean" on my grandpa. (Sayings of my Grandpa).

https://www.aussiestockforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=303600&highlight=fish#post303600

Note: He had a lot of sayings - but that wasn't one of em lol.

I heard that from one of my older cousins - who I really respected - and have respected all the more for that advice - when I was a kid. As if you can know what "the one" is like unless you've got to know "three" or "four" - or better still "thirty" or "forty"

Obviously this next poem (Matters of the Heart) was also intended as advice to my kids ... (as if I'd know lol). Still you have to show confidence - even if you don't feel confident (as Bob Hawke says - paraphrased)

https://www.aussiestockforums.com/forums/showthread.php?p=84769&highlight=copelessly#post84769

Sean K · 13 July 2008

natashia said:
Oh wow did I kill a thread???…. After all that was THE famous quotation from Cameron Diaz…..hit the nail on the head for me…in a nutshell…

I'm not sure natasha.

This has a few more legs.

Wysiwyg said:
Conclusively psychological.

Perception of love (what is thought to be experienced) is a desire, be it sub-conscious or conscious, to attach oneself to something.Be it human, animal, car, money, hiking, whatever.It is a thought process in which we agree with.

Wysi, I agree that it's a great deal psychological, but are there no social or physiological aspects?

Love is initially biological IMO. It's a purely emotional (chemical) reaction, based on certain other criteria which may include cultural and social aspects, but nonetheless, initially biological.

Or, maybe the biological informs the psychology, and you are correct.

natashia · 13 July 2008

2020hindsight said:
natashia
seems us men get bored on the topic lol.

We can get away with that...
Until we have to give advice to our kids

I whipped up this poem a couple of weeks back - blaming the saying "plenty of fish in the ocean" on my grandpa. (Sayings of my Grandpa).

Note: He had a lot of sayings - but that wasn't one of em lol.

I heard that from one of my older cousins - who I really respected - and have respected all the more for that advice - when I was a kid. As if you can know what "the one" is like unless you've got to know "three" or "four" - or better still "thirty" or "forty"

kennas said:
I'm not sure natasha.

This has a few more legs.

Wysi, I agree that it's a great deal psychological, but are there no social or physiological aspects?

Love is initially biological IMO. It's a purely emotional (chemical) reaction, based on certain other criteria which may include cultural and social aspects, but nonetheless, initially biological.

Or, maybe the biological informs the psychology, and you are correct.

Hiya..

Well I guess I am super sensitive with voicing this at the moment ….. it almost knocked me over ten times when I knew what I was wanting or needing and didn’t really know (partially due to my ignorance) until I read it and ultimately gave me my answer…..sometimes you have to reflect and ask yourself ‘why is it that you feel this null and void’…..

I instinctively know but don’t see it or voice it.. just keep running. It is quite personal so I guess having those words stare at you… really had the light bulbs flashing…

Yes you are so correct with the “As if you can know what "the one" is like unless you've got to know "three" or "four" - or better still "thirty" or "forty" …I have to say it’s all good for five minutes LOL then the real picture portrays itself and you are like ….what was that??? You go on making excuses pleading ignorance deny the reality of it etc…. yet in actual fact you are growing to know what it is you want and do not want…

Hmm think I am talking too much LOL…. :

MRC & Co · 13 July 2008

There is infatuation, or otherwise known as "in love".

And then there is love, which takes years to evolve.

There is no "the one".

Just one opinion from my own experiences and research.

2020hindsight · 13 July 2008

natashia said:
You go on making excuses pleading ignorance

deny the reality of it etc….

yet in actual fact you are growing to know what it is you want

and do not want…

Hmm think I am talking too much LOL…. :

Natashia - quite poetic there have another tequila and tell us what you REALLY think, lol.
On second thoughts maybe not lol.

MRC & Co said:
There is no "the one".
Just one opinion.

MRC make that two opinions - cheers

natashia · 13 July 2008

MRC & Co said:
There is infatuation, or otherwise known as "in love".

And then there is love, which takes years to evolve.

There is no "the one".

Just one opinion from my own experiences and research.

Ok one more thing lol...

I do not know whether that is really true for the reason simply from what you are implying is that there is not “the one” yet you are perpetually binded with this one person because “there is love”, yet as time evolves you could be making a fatal mistake in realising 'shoot this isn't what I thought…..you keep altering what you found you liked in this person only because there is not this ‘kaboom in the first place’...Like you wished she would do this because you wanted this... like if only she would wear this dress,dance ,cook ,swear LOL you know etc etc because you liked that. …So in theory it sounds great but practicality meant you wasted all the time finding out this is not for you because she/he did not want the same things..I mean you physically spiritually emotionally cannot make someone do or say what you'd like..

My theory is if you have that infatuation it must be reciprocated in the first place, first base whatever…then you would have automatically-instinctively 'kaboom' know that the two of you have a lot of common ground so you grow and nurture come what may which then progresses to depth of soul mates yeah? “The one”…???

PS
Hindy am I talking too much ?LOL

2020hindsight · 13 July 2008

anecdote
I remember when I was a student - early days of computers - punch cards and all that ...
anyway we had a "Computer Ball" at Uni - everyone filled out a questionnaire...

I remember question 1 : "Do you or don't you?"
and from there it got personal lol.
30 or 40 questions about star signs, and financials, and whether they prefer blondes, and sports, and interests, and favourite authors , ....... and so it went...

one of our number wrote a computer program to match partners ...

one of my best mates met his (beautiful and perfectly matched) wife at that ball - matched by the computer - (others weren't so enraptured.)

Later we asked him how he wrote the program (we were all engineers) ... He said, "heck I just matched up the question "what party do you normally vote for?" "

2020hindsight · 13 July 2008

Love is the strange bewilderment that overtakes one person on account of another person.
James Thurber

Love is what you've been through with somebody.
James Thurber

PS.
The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
James Thurber

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