Proposing to my girlfriend

[Spaghetti]

Well as a female I say depends on what you expect the answer to be!

If you know it will be yes then go all out, something that will thrill her so she bubbles with excitement for days. This is important as nothing stresses out a women more than planning for a wedding...especially if mother is prone to take-over tactics. So she will need some of the memories to be wonderful.

If you are not sure of how she will answer then lower key proposal as it will reduce embarassment all round should the answer be no.

Engagement party is not your decision lol. One you propose you may have little say in anything else until the wedding is over :. If you do have a say then great but make that decision together.

If you buy a ring keep it simple and elegant. No fancy stuff as this is when taste can be offended. Again only buy if you know she will say yes ! If unsure if she will like what you choose hatch a plan to have her see it with a friend who leads her into comment. Maybe a mate of yours can pretend he needs help deciding for a fictional girlfriend?

Hope all goes well, I love being married...best thing I have ever done and I was slightly allergic to the concept when I was younger. But now near 20 years later we have a blast together and enjoy each other more than ever in more ways than one.

hee hee god stuff, love some romance in the midst of money matters!

 

[rub92me]

Unfortunately for me my (now) wife is an expert in diamonds and other precious stones, so I couldn't get away with a cheapie . I was gobsmacked by the amount I had to pay for the ring but once the shock had worn off (after a year or 2) I'm now glad I did.

 

[2020hindsight]

Another idea ( my wife's) - you can have an engagement ring eg square in cross section maybe 3mm x 3mm (or 4 x 2 ) - slightly sine wave when viewed on the finger - (gems to suit - few small diamonds and rubies)- wraps the finger and overlaps slightly. (see x x x )

....................xxxxx
xxx..........xxx..........xxx............xxxxx
.....xxxxx........................xxxxx..


....................yyyyy
yyy..........yyy..........yyy............yyyyy
.....yyyyy........................yyyyy.



Now if you use your imagination, the wedding ring ( y y y ) can be made to the same shape and fit snugly beside it - plain gold without gems - together they look like almost three rings - i.e. treat the justaposition of the twosome as the challenge, not each individually (2 cents)

Another anecdote. My dad gave my mum an engagement ring with large green emeralds - one of which fell out. He cut up a piece of (green) Tek toothbrush handle and replaced it - gave it to her with a kiss - mum enjoyed the replacement just as much

 

[sam76]

Whatever you do DON'T buy a setting from the larger jewellery houses.

Once you find a setting you like take the design to a small jeweller to make you a similar copy.

You will save bucket loads!!!

 

[dutchie]

Quote

"Engagement party is not your decision lol. One you propose you may have little say in anything else until the wedding is over."

Should say:

Engagement party is not your decision lol. One you propose you may have little say in anything, period!

 

[vishalt]

Wow proposing on the beach, how boring and uninnovative.

What you need is a large lobster who threatens to attack your girlfriend but you bash it away and then propose.

Get your friend to dress up as a monstrous lobster and show your girlfriend what she means to you.

$2 shop for rings, blacktown for costume shops.

fight the lobster in a forest

That's how I plan to do it (if i ever get married)

 

[kerosam]

thanks for the suggestions & sharing your experiences.

My friends and I went 'window shopping' for the proposal ring this arvo. obviously its the first time... so not sure how much i should spend... don;t know much about diamonds as well... but i do know a bit now... it can be round or square... 4 or 6 claws... the affordable ones are 0.3 and below... the grade, still learning about them... white & yellow gold... anyone has a copy of 'diamonds for dummies'????

i am also asking mates in Singapore to source out more options... don;t mind flying there to buy it & fly back over a weekend.

will keep you guys posted.

 

[Aedo]

thanks for the suggestions & sharing your experiences.

My friends and I went 'window shopping' for the proposal ring this arvo. obviously its the first time... so not sure how much i should spend... don;t know much about diamonds as well... but i do know a bit now... it can be round or square... 4 or 6 claws... the affordable ones are 0.3 and below... the grade, still learning about them... white & yellow gold... anyone has a copy of 'diamonds for dummies'????

i am also asking mates in Singapore to source out more options... don;t mind flying there to buy it & fly back over a weekend.

will keep you guys posted.

Firstly congratulations!!!!

It is scary looking for an engagement ring - but I do recommend letting her choose it (from personal experience - my wife was VERY picky and didn't like anything we saw - visited every jewellery shop in Perth!). On place to look is also antique jewellery - where I finally had success!

In terms of how much to spend - you won't get a chance to buy a second one when your investment strategy pays off so spend as much as you can afford to now - this is not a short term position

As for selection of diamonds - google is your friend - try this for starters. The normal method is the 4Cs - colour, clarity, cut, carat. Colour is obvious, clarity is related to flaws in the stone, cut is not just the shape but how well it is cut (some diamonds are cut to maximise size rather than visual brilliance), and finally size in carats (one carat is 0.2g).

In terms of metal choice you are also faced with carats (K, karats, same thing!) - but this is different from diamonds! For gold K is parts out of 24, so 18K gold is 75% gold and 25% silver/copper etc (and 9K is only 37% gold - not worth it IMVHO). If you end up getting a ring made the actual value of the metal used is trivial compared to the work so go for the maximum gold content (if looking at gold).

White vs yellow gold: both are gold, both contain the same amount of gold (white is usually 18K) but the alloying elements in white gold are chosen to outweigh the yellow colour - finally white gold is then rhodium plated to make it very white (rhodium is one of the platinum group elements and very hard, not to mention expensive). It is advised to replate white gold rings every year or so (not much cost). Platinum is also an option - but more expensive than either gold option.

Finally (from me) in terms of proposing I didn't do anything memorable - and regret it - again something that cannot be "redone" - she did say yes though and all that writing above is from memory when researched 10 years ago!! Hope it helps!!

 

[insider]

thanks for the suggestions & sharing your experiences.

My friends and I went 'window shopping' for the proposal ring this arvo. obviously its the first time... so not sure how much i should spend... don;t know much about diamonds as well... but i do know a bit now... it can be round or square... 4 or 6 claws... the affordable ones are 0.3 and below... the grade, still learning about them... white & yellow gold... anyone has a copy of 'diamonds for dummies'????

i am also asking mates in Singapore to source out more options... don;t mind flying there to buy it & fly back over a weekend.

will keep you guys posted.

In terms of diamond colour get nothing less than a H because the rest are considered champagne to yellow to black. In terms of Clarity get nothing less than SI because the inclusions are not visible to the naked eye and the diamond sparkles heaps more...

My Ideal diamond would be colour F with VVS clarity...

White gold settings make the Diamond look bigger and it also helps it sparkle better kind of like the mirrored cone in a head lamp.

Round Brilliant cuts are always the most sparkly

It's important to remember that a diamonds cost goes up exponentially in sizeXclarityXcolour

Good luck

 

[moneymajix]

Re: Rubies, emeralds, saphires, etc..

Does it have to be a diamond?

Diamonds are traditional. And some prefer other gems.

 

[2020hindsight]

sapphires are gr8
eg green-blue
green if you look at it from one direction, blue from another
just like life - or marriage for that matter

PS a yellow sapphire maybe?

 

[Julia]

Well, Kero, how lovely to hear that the relationship has flourished to this extent. Congratulations. I'm really pleased for you.

I would have hated to have had no choice in the engagement ring. I think it's something you should do together. Just do some window shopping first so you can both feel reasonably comfortable about the amount you want to spend. Sure, it's your dollars at this stage, but going into the future your finances will probably be a joint concern so I'd suggest it's good to agree about the cost of the ring. Perhaps this is unromantic.

It's a wonderful time of your life. Hope it's the start of a long and fulfilling relationship for both of you. All the best.

Cheers
Julia

 

[2020hindsight]

KS,
I recommend giving here one of these.
Let's put it this way -
you'll find out in a matter of seconds whether or not she has a sense of humour
- and who'd want to spend their life with someone without one of those .

btw, this advice is given with no responsibility - perhaps I'm wrong - in which case , DYOR ("do your own running" )

PS Paddy's Market is open Fri Sat and Sun - assuming you're in Sydney.

 

[Judd]

.....I would have hated to have had no choice in the engagement ring. I think it's something you should do together.

Just dont do what I did. Myself and my now wife went a'shoppen for the ring. Was during a lunchtime break. Selected and bought. Me being the man, I had to look after it. She went home, I went to an after work do. Got p^&ssed as a parrot and lost the ring somewhere that night.

Found two days later in a the pocket of the suit coat I had worn on the night. She still married me.

 

[Aedo]

Just dont do what I did. Myself and my now wife went a'shoppen for the ring. Was during a lunchtime break. Selected and bought. Me being the man, I had to look after it. She went home, I went to an after work do. Got p^&ssed as a parrot and lost the ring somewhere that night.

Found two days later in a the pocket of the suit coat I had worn on the night. She still married me.

At least you found it! What about this donut...http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/14/nballoon114.xml

It had seemed a romantic and highly original way to propose to the love of your life with a £6,000 diamond ring. Lefkos Hajji, 28, wanted to make his engagement one his girlfriend would never forget, only to have his dreams cruelly snatched from his grasp by a gust of wind.

Rather than simply dropping to one knee before Leanne, 26, he told a florist to put her engagement ring in a silver helium balloon. But no sooner had he left the shop when his plans backfired spectacularly and the balloons blew away - taking the ring with them.

Keeping his prize in sight, Mr Hajji, from Hackney, London, pursued the balloons for two hours in his car across London before giving them up as lost.

He told the Sun newspaper: "I couldn't believe it. I just watched as it went further and further into the air.

"I felt like such a plonker. It cost a fortune and I knew my girlfriend would kill me.

"I though I would give Leanne a pin so I could literally pop the question."

While Mr Hajji hopes the ring will still turn up, his girlfriend, as he suspected, was apparently less than impressed.

Florist Helen Savva, of Cockfosters, London, told the newspaper: "I thought he was taking a risk. I said, 'I hope you hold onto it'."

 

[kerosam]

Hello folks,

She said YESSSSSS!!!!!!

Did the deed last Thursday. It was our 1st year anniversary as well. So one less date to remember

Getting the diamond ring in S'pore end of the year.

thanks again

 

[moneymajix]

Re: Here comes the bride!

Congrats, Kero.

 

[Julia]

Well, how nice is that. So pleased for you both, Kero.
Will we see some wedding photos posted, or even those from the occasion of the engagement?

Hope you're both very happy.

All the best
Julia