Proposing to my girlfriend

[kerosam]

Hi,

I am about to propose to the girl I have been seeing. I have that idea since January but not too sure how to go about a few things:

1. Since this 'process' is important, I would like to make it as memoral as possible for her. A friend suggested walking the beach then half way thru, pop the question.

2. the ring. should i buy the ring when i proposed or should i pop the question first and then take her to the ring shop, so she can choose the ring. oh oh oh... i heard the cost of the ring should be three months the guy's salary... someone please tell me it is BS

3. Do we have to get engage first then get married? I would prefer to head straight to marriage.

constructive help will be greatly appreciated

 

[Synergy]

i heard the cost of the ring should be three months the guy's salary... someone please tell me it is BS

is right, i'm not sure you can buy negatively priced rings...

and i think the engagement period is simply the time from you both deciding to marry until the wedding. I'm not sure its anything more than that.

 

[moneymajix]

Re: Congratulations... celebrations...

Some ideas...


1. Is your partner likely to like something romantic, spontaneous, fun or adventurous? What would appeal to her?
I guess you are looking for something that is memorable. Putting some effort into the occassion will be appreciated.




2. Ring - go for something you can afford.
Don't be too cheap or over-the-top.

Choosing the ring?

Is she fussy about what she likes and wears?

Does she like your taste?

If she is fussy and is not likely to like your pick, then let her choose with you.


Can you present an empty ring box with an IOU?



3. Traditionally most couples get engaged before getting married.
That doesn't mean you have to wait a long time before the wedding.

An elopement usually takes less time to organise than a large ceremony.
Less expensive too.




Good luck.

Agony Aunt
$Majix

 

[imajica]

Hey Kerosam, having been married for a couple of years I'll add a few comments.

Personally I proposed and then took my partner to a jewellers to choose the ring. I think the amount spent on the ring depends on your finances. 3 months salary is full of it - if i had taken this literally I would have bought a ring costng $26,000 - I don't think so - I found a lovely ring for about 5 grand

in terms of the location of the proposal - it all comes down to personal taste -
some suggestions:

- elegant, fine dining restaurant
- scenic spot you both enjoy
- have a romantic surprise dinner at home (hire a chef for the evening to cook for the two of you)

good luck

 

[dhukka]

Hi,

I am about to propose to the girl I have been seeing. I have that idea since January but not too sure how to go about a few things:

1. Since this 'process' is important, I would like to make it as memoral as possible for her. A friend suggested walking the beach then half way thru, pop the question.

2. the ring. should i buy the ring when i proposed or should i pop the question first and then take her to the ring shop, so she can choose the ring. oh oh oh... i heard the cost of the ring should be three months the guy's salary... someone please tell me it is BS

3. Do we have to get engage first then get married? I would prefer to head straight to marriage.

constructive help will be greatly appreciated

My girlfriend and I got up last Sunday, put on our trackies and I made her a cup of coffee. I said to her "what do you say we get married?" she said "yeah righto". No rings, no wedding ceremony, sweet.

 

[insider]

How about dangling off a cliff or sky diving... I swear, the emotional swings anybody would have in a death defying scenario would be awesome... I think I'm going to struggle to get married

 

[insider]

Hey Kerosam, having been married for a couple of years I'll add a few comments.

Personally I proposed and then took my partner to a jewellers to choose the ring. I think the amount spent on the ring depends on your finances. 3 months salary is full of it - if i had taken this literally I would have bought a ring costng $26,000 - I don't think so - I found a lovely ring for about 5 grand

in terms of the location of the proposal - it all comes down to personal taste -
some suggestions:

- elegant, fine dining restaurant
- scenic spot you both enjoy
- have a romantic surprise dinner at home (hire a chef for the evening to cook for the two of you)

good luck

I agree with the whole wedding ring thing as I do work at a jewellery store. I've seen women bringing back rings to be exchanged or remodeled to their tastes... If you really want to suss out your girls tastes get one of the trusted girl friends to talk about their favorite ring designs... You can also do this your self if you decide to go shopping with her one day and drag her into a jewellery store. She will be inclined to try stuff out... cos that's for free...

 

[2020hindsight]

How about .. sky diving... I swear, the emotional swings anybody would have in a death defying scenario would be awesome...

lol, insider
just remember - gazing into each other's eyes as you pop the question and she blurts out "yes, oh yes "

... just remember - to pull the flamin ripchord

 

[2020hindsight]

PS I proposed with just a drawing of a ring - bludy great diamond etc . In the end she wanted a line of dinky diamonds with rubies. - best to let them choose as you say.

Pity Harvey Norman or Kmart don't sell rings - you could produce a catalogue and see which ones she liked. (Dare you to complain about the price lol)

 

[theasxgorilla]

My girlfriend and I got up last Sunday, put on our trackies and I made her a cup of coffee. I said to her "what do you say we get married?" she said "yeah righto". No rings, no wedding ceremony, sweet.

A man and woman after my own heart. Congratulations by the way!

 

[BradK]

congratulations.

I bought a ring that I could afford at the time - only $1,500 as I was still a Uni student. Can afford much more now, but choose to spend it on overseas travel - and my wife is not that big into jewellry anyway.

Its a personal decision mate - you will both know.

My friend on the other hand just paid $25,000 - as she was quite demanding about it. My advice to him was to run a mile and dont look back. EVER.

I guess he picked up the credit card points in the end. Something i guess.

well done!

Brad

 

[roland]

I bought her a necklace and with the change we now own a BMW650GS motorcycle. Every anniversary we go and find a romantic dirt track somewhere.

 

[sam76]

Two words

Hungry Jacks

(they cater as well)

Congrats mate and don't stress too much, the important thing is that she says yes.

 

[dutchie]

G'day Kerosam

Firstly congratulations on your future engagement (I assume she will say yes!).

Secondly congratulations on asking advice. Continue that questioning in the rest of your engagement/marriage and learn from the experienced. You will be so far in front of those who go into marriage not knowing what to expect or how to handle different situations.

The proposal - choose something romantic, a place you both enjoy and where you can return to for anniversaries etc (women love that stuff!)

The ring - does not have to be expensive ($5 k sounds reasonable) - its the thought behind it that counts (really!!!). Let her choose after discussing it with her - might give you a idea of what she will be like in the future.

Have fun in the process.

Cheers

Dutchie

 

[adobee]

Hi,

I am about to propose to the girl I have been seeing. I have that idea since January but not too sure how to go about a few things:

1. Since this 'process' is important, I would like to make it as memoral as possible for her. A friend suggested walking the beach then half way thru, pop the question.

2. the ring. should i buy the ring when i proposed or should i pop the question first and then take her to the ring shop, so she can choose the ring. oh oh oh... i heard the cost of the ring should be three months the guy's salary... someone please tell me it is BS

3. Do we have to get engage first then get married? I would prefer to head straight to marriage.

constructive help will be greatly appreciated

If you buy the ring with her she will know how much you have spent.. Forget that idea you will either get smashed or not live it down for the rest of your life.. Go to a jeweler and ask for the biggest possible diamond that have with the lowest possible quality... size matters more than price!

 

[Geffro77]

How about dangling off a cliff or sky diving... I swear, the emotional swings anybody would have in a death defying scenario would be awesome... I think I'm going to struggle to get married

I laughed when I read this, cause thats exactly what I did!!

I talked to my wife's (then girlfriend) boss and arranged for her to have a day off. I took her skydiving (tandem so I didn't have to worry about the ripcord ) and proposed to her when we landed. We got it videoed as well, so the whole thing is on tape. Highly recommended.

As for the ring, I just bought her a $100 ring with a couple of tiny diamonds on it and gave it to her when I proposed and then afterwards we went shopping for the real thing. Figured that she had to wear it for a long time, so she should pick it.

Best of luck with the engagement!!

 

[dhukka]

A man and woman after my own heart. Congratulations by the way!

Thanks ASXG, keep it simple I say.

 

[prawn_86]

Thanks ASXG, keep it simple I say.

LOL, i wish my gf abided by that motto.

Im putting off asking anything for at least a few more years cause i know what her expectations are!

At least she cant say that im not doing it soon enough, cause i'll just say i cant afford what she wants while im a student :

 

[Bullion]

I am in a very similar situation. Sort of... I have been with my girlfriend for over 4 years and we've always talked about getting married. We even went ring shopping and found a diamond VERY cheap for what it is, but still VERY expensive... I have put a deposit on it and will propose to her in the next few months depending on a) finance, and b) if I can think of a GREAT way to propose.

I want to make it as special as can be.

As for this 3 months of your wage thing.... More a marketing gimmick from the diamond sellers, but a lot of woman believe in it unfortunately... Good luck to you though! Maybe I will come back to this thread in a few months and tell you how it all went for me

 

[Temjin]

Romantic ideas?

How about taking her back to the place when you had your first date. If it is not feasible (like a club or something), try for other places where there were "good" memories. Make it a surprise and do something stupid. Girls love it because it show you are making a committment.

As for the ring, I agree with others to take it as an engagement first and then buy the ring with her.

Personally, I would custom design the ring by buying the gem (certified if its diamond) and get someone to make it for you. When you get to a certain price range, you will pay a lot less in terms of mark up than you would get from those mass produced rings from franchise stores.

Good luck!