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Personal antipathy/dislike

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Julia

In Memoriam
Joined
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I doubt that I'm unique in experiencing immediate reactions to people I meet for the first time and would be interested in how others view this.

Overall, I take the view that most people are OK until proven otherwise and I meet new people predisposed to like them.

But once in a while I meet someone whom I just seem to dislike instantly, even just after they've said very little. Sometimes it's their body language and tone of voice, maybe an air of arrogance, lack of warmth. Not sure what, really, but sometimes it's very definite.

I'm old enough now to just go with this reaction, but used to worry that I was being unreasonable.

Would be interested in other ASF members' thoughts about this?
i.e. am I the only person who is unreasonable enough to form rapid opinions?

I remember a while ago when we were discussing the candidates for the American election, a member said she just really disliked Hillary Clinton. Given this member had never met Mrs Clinton, I questioned this, i.e. 'what is it about Hillary Clinton that you so dislike?" The poster just said:

"No idea. I just know I don't like her. Haven't you ever disliked anyone without a particular reason?"

At the time I found that a bit odd, but have since come to understand exactly what she meant.
 
I totally agree that our opinions of people are made up in the first few seconds and it is very hard to change.

So, it pays to instil a good first impression, even if it's not really you.

Can be the difference in a professional relationship.

But, not in a personal one.

You can only hold up the facade for so long.

 
There are many reasons the subject views the object so. Jealousy, self-centredness, incompetence, lack of charisma while some simply dislike seeing their reflection in the form of another being.
 
Wysiwyg said:
There are many reasons the subject views the object so. Jealousy, self-centredness, incompetence, lack of charisma while some simply dislike seeing their reflection in the form of another being.
Click to expand...
Yep. Plus others.

Not many people see through the fog to realise their true friends.

It takes massive effort, and trust.
 
Yes, I think most people feel this from time to time (to varying extents of course). I think its perfectly normal, I typically do not immediately 'write off' these people as being undesirables, but some people you instantly know you need to keep away from. And generally, I have found, this is in ones best interests.
 
I'm wary of anyone new I meet & if I'm in a bad mood I usually expect the worse from people the moment I meet them. So no it's not unreasonable, maybe it was just your mood at the time.

However my opinion changes as I speak to them & get to know them whether for good or bad. I don't understand the saying about first impressions because my view of someone is always different than the first time I meet them.

That's just me.
 
Yeah interesting,

people have different levels of intuition and clannishness. My initial sense about a person rarely lets me down, I've learnt to trust it. But you've got to keep an open mind, you can't condemn people instantly.

Looking around I'm staggered by the levels of naivete and gullibility out there.
 

The world is strange except me and thee,
And even thee be strange betimes.

gg
 
I can understand that Julia, its not so much that I dislike them, I think you are more cautious with that person, if thats the right word.

Something about them until you sort of work them out.

I agree about listening to that sixth sense.
 
Garpal Gumnut said:
The world is strange except me and thee,
And even thee be strange betimes. gg
Click to expand...
When I was a kid it used to be, "All the world is a little queer, except thee and me, but even thee is a little queer at times."

I guess we can't say that these days.

(I think the original was: "All the world is queer save thee and me, and even thou art a little queer"
”” Robert Owen)
 
Everybody is suspicious to me these days. The rules of engagement have been changed to a point whereby no longer can a person be taken at "face value".

YES ......... there are people that you immediately warm to in a social environment (around a BBQ after a few beers and a guy/chick is quite topical and intelligent) and you manage to eke out a conversation that is stimulating for both of you. GREAT. Then there is the person that requires a lot more tolerance as their disposition liens towards akwardness and makes for a coversation that you would rather not have.

Then there is the business side of things. Completely different. Wont go into too much detail other than to say I have been proven wrong on several occasions. Formed first opinions of people whom I thought were right cork soakers only to find out later they have a backbone of integrity.

Then there is the internet. As the best intentions on here are taken out of context because the person has some bitter and twisted agenda that only they can fathom in their tiny little brain. They can read the written word and formulate something that is not what the thrust of the topic was about nor the intent of the direction of the missive. Then go on some personal attack which is uncalled for and unwarranted.

You know whom I am talking about. Don't you???
 
Gringotts Bank said:
Had a falling out with the postman Jules?
Click to expand...
No, GB, my postman is a sweetie. (not sure if that's a politically correct term these days?)

If you must know, (and this may well be too much information) the thread was inspired as a result of going for a routine mammogram - breast screening for cancer in case anyone doesn't know).
Now, for all you blokes out there, this is an ordeal for us women second only to the dreaded pap smear and something we'd much rather avoid were we not so responsible about caring for our health.

Usually the radiographers are sensitive to this, and are very pleasant and reassuring.
Not this time. She came out to the reception area with a severe expression, looked at me without a smile or a hello, and just said 'come with me'. No how are you, nothing. Then tersely issued instructions to remove clothing above the waist.
Yes, I know all this. Have done it bloody countless times.

Now I am not going into the physical procedure, something most of you will know from your partners, but she was just rough in her handling of the body part in question, and then screwed down the examination plates so tightly I yelped in pain. Am bruised as a result.

Absolutely no "sorry, I know it's uncomfortable" etc but rather the sense that she enjoyed causing pain.

So, having taken an instant dislike to her in the reception area, that was validated by her subsequent behaviour.

Now, don't you wish you'd never asked?
 

Actually, TS, no I don't whom you are talking about. Your observation could apply to many people.

But it's a good point to raise in that we have only words on a screen from which to form a judgment about someone. It can be fraught with difficulty in the absence of vocal tone and body language.
But, yes, even allowing for all that, there are the trolls and those who are indelibly self righteous and all knowing.
 
So, having taken an instant dislike to her in the reception area, that was validated by her subsequent behaviour.
Click to expand...
She may have mistook you on first meeting as a bit serious, sour, lacking a sense of humour and nasty so acted accordingly. Inviting the said lady around for a barbie and drinks to prove you aren't who she thought you were would smooth things over amicably.
 
Thank you Wysiwyg. You have provided the perfect example of what TS was talking about.

And btw, we're still waiting for your account of how you progressed from nothing, zero, zilch to multi millionaire, with a huge stock p/f as well in just ten years.
Funny how you just haven't managed to get round to explaining this, despite repeated requests.
 
Julia, that's an awful experience... There is absolutely no need for them to be so rough. Do you think you have any grounds for complaint? I think those sort of people should be stopped from doing damage to others especially if you were left with bruising.
 
Julia said:
Thank you Wysiwyg. You have provided the perfect example of what TS was talking about.
Click to expand...
Good Golly. I don't see any connection. I thought the topic was general but it is all about you and your experience.
 

Ahha a soul sista!

6th sense or something i think they call it.....some ppl use it, some ppl dont recognise it,some ppl ignore it.......

certainly served me well over the years and funnily in hindsight its been a pretty spot instinct on the majority...

geez starting to sound like a hippy now.
 

Wysiwyg is a known troll but in that specific thread it wasn't his claims that were outrageous it was the 3 + university students savings of $50G+that were outrageous.
I'm not one to pull someone out but I wish someone had.

Besides, there are others on this forum who make similar claims.

Onto the topic-the Nurse; Yes, their behavior sucks, the way it sounds is that they have been very un-professional.

I'm not one to complain but this situation seems to deserve it.
 
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