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- 21 September 2013
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Hello all,
I've been reading this forum on and off for a bit, and think there are lots of sensible, mature and knowledgeable people here, and given that there is also this 'general chat' forum, I just wanted to share my story, maybe even confess, amongst you learned people. Not really seeking financial advice, but would like people's take on my situation and how easy/hard it would be for me to recover.
A little bit about myself - I'm 31, single, live at home with my folks. I'm a white collar worker, and in my current job, I earn about $120k pa but it's a contract which ends in April 2014. I don't really have any plans after that if they decide not to renew my contract, but guess I still have some time to look for a job between now and then. This is the highest paid job I've ever had - before that I started on $34k, then $40k, then $70k.
I have my group of friends, and am quite physically active, playing team sports and going to the gym. But in terms of romance, I have always led a lonely life. A few years into my career, my friends took me to a brothel, and since then, I have been frequenting various brothels to 'satisfy' the lack of romance in my life.
Last year I met a girl in a shop and we kinda hit it off, despite some very obvious language differences. We started going out, and in about February this year she started talking about her visa expiring, so I was thinking of ways to help her. When I did come up with a solution, she broke up with me. She said she could not do her work and be with me, and explained she was working because she had a debt of $90k as her mother had cancer and needed surgery in South Korea. She asked me if I could pay it off for her. I obviously could not, as I didn't have that kind of money. So we broke up.
In about August this year, I got really lonely and decided to text her. I told her I could help (because that was the only way she was going to reply), even though I didn't really mean it. So we met up, she told me her debt was now $50k and I said I could help her, and we got back together.
I realised what I had done and how much $50k really was. I decided to get a personal loan from the bank for $40k. I was really surprised by how easy it all was. I told them I needed the money for a holiday, and they gave it to me. That was a bit concerning for me.
Anyway, I still wasn't so sure about giving her this money. I decided to give her $5k per week, and when I told her this, she got really upset, saying I had lied, and that wasn't part of the deal. But she ended up coming around and agreeing to it. Thing was, by now, she had a broken foot and could not work, so I was in effect supporting her.
And so the payments started. I gave her $5k per week. When I got to $15k, I knew I needed to stop. This was getting serious. So I lied and told her I lost my job, to test her to see if she'd stay with me if I had no money. But she begged and pleaded for another $10k, so over two more weeks I gave her that money. Now in total I had given her $25k.
Although she stayed with me despite my 'job loss', she still asked me for weekly expenses like her rent. In terms of expenses, I think I gave her around a total of $3k.
I also suffered some emotional abuse during this relationship. An example was that one night when I was trying to sleep, she would not let me sleep. She kept shining her phone into my eyes and slapping me on the face softly, asking me for the rest of the money. I said no, we had a fight and I left her place that night.
One time she asked me for $1500 for expenses, but I had to pay my car rego, CTP and two new tyres to get my pink slip that time, so I said no. She went nuts and broke up with me, calling me selfish.
So that's pretty much it in a nutshell. My current situation is, I have about $26k in assets in terms of shares and cash. But a lot of that cash was stocked away for myself in case I could not find a new job by April next year. I have this debt of about $29k on 15% interest.
On a scale of 1-10, how much do you think I have screwed up?
I've been reading this forum on and off for a bit, and think there are lots of sensible, mature and knowledgeable people here, and given that there is also this 'general chat' forum, I just wanted to share my story, maybe even confess, amongst you learned people. Not really seeking financial advice, but would like people's take on my situation and how easy/hard it would be for me to recover.
A little bit about myself - I'm 31, single, live at home with my folks. I'm a white collar worker, and in my current job, I earn about $120k pa but it's a contract which ends in April 2014. I don't really have any plans after that if they decide not to renew my contract, but guess I still have some time to look for a job between now and then. This is the highest paid job I've ever had - before that I started on $34k, then $40k, then $70k.
I have my group of friends, and am quite physically active, playing team sports and going to the gym. But in terms of romance, I have always led a lonely life. A few years into my career, my friends took me to a brothel, and since then, I have been frequenting various brothels to 'satisfy' the lack of romance in my life.
Last year I met a girl in a shop and we kinda hit it off, despite some very obvious language differences. We started going out, and in about February this year she started talking about her visa expiring, so I was thinking of ways to help her. When I did come up with a solution, she broke up with me. She said she could not do her work and be with me, and explained she was working because she had a debt of $90k as her mother had cancer and needed surgery in South Korea. She asked me if I could pay it off for her. I obviously could not, as I didn't have that kind of money. So we broke up.
In about August this year, I got really lonely and decided to text her. I told her I could help (because that was the only way she was going to reply), even though I didn't really mean it. So we met up, she told me her debt was now $50k and I said I could help her, and we got back together.
I realised what I had done and how much $50k really was. I decided to get a personal loan from the bank for $40k. I was really surprised by how easy it all was. I told them I needed the money for a holiday, and they gave it to me. That was a bit concerning for me.
Anyway, I still wasn't so sure about giving her this money. I decided to give her $5k per week, and when I told her this, she got really upset, saying I had lied, and that wasn't part of the deal. But she ended up coming around and agreeing to it. Thing was, by now, she had a broken foot and could not work, so I was in effect supporting her.
And so the payments started. I gave her $5k per week. When I got to $15k, I knew I needed to stop. This was getting serious. So I lied and told her I lost my job, to test her to see if she'd stay with me if I had no money. But she begged and pleaded for another $10k, so over two more weeks I gave her that money. Now in total I had given her $25k.
Although she stayed with me despite my 'job loss', she still asked me for weekly expenses like her rent. In terms of expenses, I think I gave her around a total of $3k.
I also suffered some emotional abuse during this relationship. An example was that one night when I was trying to sleep, she would not let me sleep. She kept shining her phone into my eyes and slapping me on the face softly, asking me for the rest of the money. I said no, we had a fight and I left her place that night.
One time she asked me for $1500 for expenses, but I had to pay my car rego, CTP and two new tyres to get my pink slip that time, so I said no. She went nuts and broke up with me, calling me selfish.
So that's pretty much it in a nutshell. My current situation is, I have about $26k in assets in terms of shares and cash. But a lot of that cash was stocked away for myself in case I could not find a new job by April next year. I have this debt of about $29k on 15% interest.
On a scale of 1-10, how much do you think I have screwed up?
