Feelings of jealousy

[GumbyLearner]

gg

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/trick+cyclist

Gotcha. A bit of an artist!

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

Too true. Thanks for that - the most sense I have heard all night. Sorry GG and your Freudian horse**** mate

I don't know what my trickcyclist mate has taken on top of my best bourbon, but he is now vocalising vowels but no consonants.

I'll interrogate him when he is more coherent.

He does look happy though, a bit like Manny Cassimatis must have looked when his Heinkel Jet was delivered to Garbutt Field in Townsville all those years ago.

I generally find a good r**t cures all these problems, for what it is worth, as has been noted above.

gg

 

[Julia]

You appear to be displaying the symptoms of rejection. Rejection is a part of life we all experience at some stage. For a further analysis on your present state we need to know if your rejection was a simple brush-off or a more insensitive, sadistic or vindictive rejection.

Please inform. corn:

Brad, Wysiwyg has a good point. I wonder if part of your current reaction could be due to the way the news was delivered? i.e. if you were simply informed you had been unsuccessful, or alternatively, if you had rather been thanked for your application, told how much your work and you as a person are valued by the company, that the decision was very difficult, a close call etc, and then that management hoped this decision would not affect your continued capacity to make such a great contribution to the company etc etc.

I think most people would react with a sense of loss of face/self esteem if the former, but with objectivity and understanding if the former.

A couple of other possibilities to consider:
Could the company have considered they were a bit "male top heavy" and that it was time to promote a woman, even if just for the sake of appearances?

Could you perhaps have assumed the position would be yours, and as a consequence appeared over-confident, or blase, even smug?

If neither of the above are relevant, then I'd just say that we all are faced with rejection many times throughout our lives, in both business and personal senses. Yes, it can be hurtful. But hey, that's just the way it is sometimes.

You have the choice of reacting negatively and allowing it to affect the other aspects of your life, i.e. sense of well being, relationships with others etc., or accepting that you can't always win, and then focusing on what you can do better to ensure that the next promotion is yours.

If none of that works, then consider if the world of business with all its competitiveness is really for you. Maybe you'd be happier in some role where there are fewer demands on you.

Keep us posted on how you go.

The male ego being what it is, and her being a female colleague, its hardly surprising that your ego would be a bit bruised by an event like this.

Maybe in the short term take a 'break' from the focus in your work relationships on this particular colleague, go and spend some time bonding (e.g. go for a beer/game of squash/golf/tennis whatever it may be) with your other work peers/mates instead and put that particular work relationship back in its box for a while until you get used to the shifted roles.

But whatever the reasons, if you can't get past the feelings in a reasonable timeframe then you need to change the situation somehow imo or they can build and become quite self destructive.

If they don't fade pretty quickly then it could be best moving on and finding another position elsewhere. Its also possible shifting to another role in the same company where she isn't your supervisor might work too. Either way I'd be considering doing something before it starts to affect your job performance and other work relationships - because that can cause a downward spiral in self confidence as well.

Ah, Cuttlefish, your usual good sense.

 

[Muschu]

Has your trickcyclist mate graduated yet GG? Amazing interpretation on the basis of minimal information.

IMO.

Rick

 

[theasxgorilla]

Rationalise it... why did she get the job and not you?

 

[BradK]

Swings and roundabouts. Today, I got a approval to do a project I have been wrestling for for the last year.

Pretty happy with that. Didn't get the promotion last week, but get to do a project for the next few months.

Cheers
Brad

 

[Wysiwyg]

Swings and roundabouts. Today, I got a approval to do a project I have been wrestling for for the last year.

Pretty happy with that. Didn't get the promotion last week, but get to do a project for the next few months.

Cheers
Brad

Consolations have never sat well with me. The indignation of being indirectly told I'm not good enough is never compensated by a well disguised cheap second prize.

 

[BradK]

Consolations have never sat well with me. The indignation of being indirectly told I'm not good enough is never compensated by a well disguised cheap second prize.

Unless you are the runner up of Australian Idol with a profile and no messy contracts.

But... no, dont feel this is consolation prize at all. Just think if you look for the positives, it will be alright.

Trickcyclist may say that my new project is the new incestuous relationship.

Thanks in advance for your comments ,GG. And what about that apocalytic guy who thought a wave was coming in 2011 to get California - is he still around and could he help me work through my feelings of jealousy and reorientation with the new order?

Brad

 

[inenigma]

I'm a happy little techo of sorts.... Or was until June this year..... I'd been given a sh*tload more responsibility, a sh*tload more work to do and less time to do it in...... No additional funds.. I'm not such a happy little techo of sorts anymore.....

 

[Julia]

Consolations have never sat well with me. The indignation of being indirectly told I'm not good enough is never compensated by a well disguised cheap second prize.

Wow, talk about throwing cold water over someone!