Feelings of jealousy

BradK · 12 November 2009

Hi,

I have a professional colleague that I work closely with. We both are on the same level, and essentially do the same job. We have a great working relationship, enjoy working with each other, relish the challenge of our jobs, and work hard.

We both went for a promotion and she got it. I am happy for her, but I am experiencing feelings of intense jealousy. Whatever way you look at it, it is irrational - and I find myself moping about at home and generally feeling sorry for myself the last couple of days.

From January, she will now be my superior.

Anyone here ever felt jealous? What is the cure? I dont want to feel jealous. But I do. Care to share any experiences of unpacking jealousy?

Brad

Solly · 12 November 2009

BradK said:
Hi,

I have a professional colleague that I work closely with. We both are on the same level, and essentially do the same job. We have a great working relationship, enjoy working with each other, relish the challenge of our jobs, and work hard.

We both went for a promotion and she got it. I am happy for her, but I am experiencing feelings of intense jealousy. Whatever way you look at it, it is irrational - and I find myself moping about at home and generally feeling sorry for myself the last couple of days.

From January, she will now be my superior.

Anyone here ever felt jealous? What is the cure? I dont want to feel jealous. But I do. Care to share any experiences of unpacking jealousy?

Brad

Brad mate,

Sometimes there's more power behind the throne.

It's your call....

GumbyLearner · 12 November 2009

BradK said:
Hi,

I have a professional colleague that I work closely with. We both are on the same level, and essentially do the same job. We have a great working relationship, enjoy working with each other, relish the challenge of our jobs, and work hard.

We both went for a promotion and she got it. I am happy for her, but I am experiencing feelings of intense jealousy. Whatever way you look at it, it is irrational - and I find myself moping about at home and generally feeling sorry for myself the last couple of days.

From January, she will now be my superior.

Anyone here ever felt jealous? What is the cure? I dont want to feel jealous. But I do. Care to share any experiences of unpacking jealousy?

Brad

Don't worry too much about it BradK.

I'm sure Hilary Clinton could certainly empathise with you.

Garpal Gumnut · 12 November 2009

BradK said:
Hi,

I have a professional colleague that I work closely with. We both are on the same level, and essentially do the same job. We have a great working relationship, enjoy working with each other, relish the challenge of our jobs, and work hard.

We both went for a promotion and she got it. I am happy for her, but I am experiencing feelings of intense jealousy. Whatever way you look at it, it is irrational - and I find myself moping about at home and generally feeling sorry for myself the last couple of days.

From January, she will now be my superior.

Anyone here ever felt jealous? What is the cure? I dont want to feel jealous. But I do. Care to share any experiences of unpacking jealousy?

Brad

A trickcyclist mate of mine is around for dinner and I showed him your post.

Freud he says, would say, mate, that your previous sibling relationship has been disrupted by the organisation, and that your incestuous relationship has been shown for what it is.

You now are unable to have your desires met and hate your organisation as a father figure who will now possess her.

you have displaced your hatred of your father (the organisation) on to your colleague (your sister).

And that is why you are jealous.

Simple he says.

It sounds like horse**** to me but he earns over $300,000 a year dealing out this out to the punters, so there may be a grain of truth in it.

gg

BradK · 12 November 2009

Garpal Gumnut said:
A trickcyclist mate of mine is around for dinner and I showed him your post.

Freud he says, would say, mate, that your previous sibling relationship has been disrupted by the organisation, and that your incestuous relationship has been shown for what it is.

You now are unable to have your desires met and hate your organisation as a father figure who will now possess her.

you have displaced your hatred of your father (the organisation) on to your colleague (your sister).

And that is why you are jealous.

Simple he says.

It sounds like horse**** to me but he earns over $300,000 a year dealing out this out to the punters, so there may be a grain of truth in it.

gg

f#(* me. Freud, GG and trickcyclist have hit the nail on the head. I guess I liked the natural order, however, it was in a sense incestuous. And to think the situation could never change.

So... the natural order is not so natural?

GG, could you ask TC if I will find a new equilibrium and overcome my feelings of jealousy? Will I find a new 'natural order' that will be eventually be exposed for what it is?

Is there any hope? Or should I get a Jims Lawn Mowing business and convert my feelings of self destructive into career suicide?

Brad

jono1887 · 12 November 2009

I'm sure it will eventually pass... don't let is ruin your friendship with your future boss though..

GumbyLearner · 12 November 2009

jono1887 said:
I'm sure it will eventually pass... don't let is ruin your friendship with your future boss though..

Good advice. What's a job anyway?
A job. Get a dog or some hobbies is my advice. Live a full life and forget
this fractional life event ASAP.

Garpal Gumnut · 12 November 2009

BradK said:
f#(* me. Freud, GG and trickcyclist have hit the nail on the head. I guess I liked the natural order, however, it was in a sense incestuous. And to think the situation could never change.

So... the natural order is not so natural?

GG, could you ask TC if I will find a new equilibrium and overcome my feelings of jealousy? Will I find a new 'natural order' that will be eventually be exposed for what it is?

Is there any hope? Or should I get a Jims Lawn Mowing business and convert my feelings of self destructive into career suicide?

Brad

I'll ask him mate, he's just finished off one of my hand numbered bottles of Noah's Mill Bourbon and is now talking proper horse****, so I'll wait until his medication kicks in of which he has just taken a double dose.

gg

BradK · 12 November 2009

jono1887 said:
I'm sure it will eventually pass... don't let is ruin your friendship with your future boss though..

I am hoping it will pass. I am pretty focused on what I am doing at the time rather than looking ahead too much so that works in my favour - but I am disappointed that I did not get the promotion.

I always try to kick as many small goals as I can

Brad

springhill · 12 November 2009

Easy fix, bang her on her desk and report her for sexual harrassment.

GumbyLearner · 12 November 2009

Garpal Gumnut said:
A trickcyclist mate of mine is around for dinner and I showed him your post.

Freud he says, would say, mate, that your previous sibling relationship has been disrupted by the organisation, and that your incestuous relationship has been shown for what it is.

You now are unable to have your desires met and hate your organisation as a father figure who will now possess her.

you have displaced your hatred of your father (the organisation) on to your colleague (your sister).

And that is why you are jealous.

Simple he says.

It sounds like horse**** to me but he earns over $300,000 a year dealing out this out to the punters, so there may be a grain of truth in it.

gg

WTF is a trickcyclist gg? Could you enlighten us?

Garpal Gumnut · 12 November 2009

GumbyLearner said:
WTF is a trickcyclist gg? Could you enlighten us?

trick cyclist

trick cyclist
n
(Psychiatry) a slang term for psychiatrist
Translations
trick cyclist
n → Kunstradfahrer(in) m(f); (Brit fig inf) → Klapsdoktor m (inf)

gg

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/trick+cyclist

Wysiwyg · 12 November 2009

You appear to be displaying the symptoms of rejection. Rejection is a part of life we all experience at some stage. For a further analysis on your present state we need to know if your rejection was a simple brush-off or a more insensitive, sadistic or vindictive rejection.

Please inform. corn:

Ato · 12 November 2009

springhill said:
Easy fix, bang her on her desk and report her for sexual harrassment.

I like the way this heathen thinks :run:

BradK · 12 November 2009

Wysiwyg said:
You appear to be displaying the symptoms of rejection. Rejection is a part of life we all experience at some stage. For a further analysis on your present state we need to know if your rejection was a simple brush-off or a more insensitive sadistic or vindictive rejection.

Please inform. corn:

Yes... rejection is certainly a part of the problem. Thinking that I had the promotion covered to be pushed aside for someone 'better'. However, realise that rejection and jealousy are part of the ride of life.

cuttlefish · 12 November 2009

BradK said:
Hi,

I have a professional colleague that I work closely with. We both are on the same level,

...etc....

From January, she will now be my superior.

Anyone here ever felt jealous? What is the cure? I dont want to feel jealous. But I do. Care to share any experiences of unpacking jealousy?

Brad

The male ego being what it is, and her being a female colleague, its hardly surprising that your ego would be a bit bruised by an event like this.

Maybe in the short term take a 'break' from the focus in your work relationships on this particular colleague, go and spend some time bonding (e.g. go for a beer/game of squash/golf/tennis whatever it may be) with your other work peers/mates instead and put that particular work relationship back in its box for a while until you get used to the shifted roles.

But whatever the reasons, if you can't get past the feelings in a reasonable timeframe then you need to change the situation somehow imo or they can build and become quite self destructive.

If they don't fade pretty quickly then it could be best moving on and finding another position elsewhere. Its also possible shifting to another role in the same company where she isn't your supervisor might work too. Either way I'd be considering doing something before it starts to affect your job performance and other work relationships - because that can cause a downward spiral in self confidence as well.

GumbyLearner · 12 November 2009

This is what Chopper would say

BradK · 12 November 2009

cuttlefish said:
The male ego being what it is, and her being a female colleague, its hardly surprising that your ego would be a bit bruised by an event like this.

Maybe in the short term take a 'break' from the focus in your work relationships on this particular colleague, go and spend some time bonding (e.g. go for a beer/game of squash/golf/tennis whatever it may be) with your other work peers/mates instead and put that particular work relationship back in its box for a while until you get used to the shifted roles.

But whatever the reasons, if you can't get past the feelings in a reasonable timeframe then you need to change the situation somehow imo or they can build and become quite self destructive.

If they don't fade pretty quickly then it could be best moving on and finding another position elsewhere. Its also possible shifting to another role in the same company where she isn't your supervisor might work too. Either way I'd be considering doing something before it starts to affect your job performance and other work relationships - because that can cause a downward spiral in self confidence as well.

Too true. Thanks for that - the most sense I have heard all night. Sorry GG and your Freudian horse**** mate

BradK · 12 November 2009

GumbyLearner said:
This is what Chopper would say

Love it!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha

nunthewiser · 12 November 2009

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