Daughters and the Pill

[2020hindsight]

Suppose your daughter is reaching "sexual experimentation age".
Do you ...
a) tell her not to go there till marriage (probably making her rebel for the sake of rebellion)
b) tell her to go on the pill (probably making her rebel, safe in the knowledge that dad thinks it's ok, and anyway she won't become pregnant
c) ignore it and keep your fingers crossed
d) slip the pill into her tea each morning
e) oher

As mentioned elsewhere, in the army they used to put bromide in your tea (lol - rumoured ok) - not sure if they put the pill in the wraac's tea? - I've been wraacing my brains over this for years.

 

[2020hindsight]

PS Late addition to b) above ... "and also tell her to make sure there's a condom involved", sheesh these days , chlamydia, etc - the "infertile generation" as they say they will be nicknamed

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/wellbeing/gen-ys-chlamydia-epidemic-20090407-9xqv.html

Gen Y's chlamydia "epidemic"

Members of Generation Y are primarily the offspring of the Baby Boom Generation; generally their parents were born between 1940 and 1970. [becomes gen Z around mid 1990s]

 

[Mr J]

Be open and responsible about it. Acting tough and pretending the daughter isn't haven't sex is no way to deal with it.

 

[investorpaul]

Out of interest how old is she (only if you want to tell us). I think it makes a difference if she is 14 your strategy would be different compared to her being 16, but i wouldn't suggest to her to take the pill unless she mentions it to you first.

 

[Sunder]

I'm thinking chastity belt, preferably made out of lightweight titanium.

It makes me shudder to think of the day any of my future daughters reach that stage...

 

[stocksontheblock]

Arent these based on individual circumstances? Deadbeat kid? Deadbeat Mum and Dad? Good kid? Good Mum and Dad? Good or bad communication? Dare I suggest religious beliefs, etc?

I happen to think honest and open works, yet it does depend on the family dynamic.

 

[2020hindsight]

Out of interest how old is she (only if you want to tell us).

mate, I asked suppose YOU had a daughter, lol.
It's more a general philosophical question. not meant to be about a specific girl.
... but true , my daughter seems to have made it through her teens, and seems to know what she's doing. She probably had some good advice from her mother that I'm not aware of lol. [PS that's her in the hangglider]

Not like the bloke down the road, told his young daughter all about the birds and the bees. Next day she was stung by a bee, and she thought she was pregnant.

PS One thing you don't do (for sure lol) is to put the pill in her tea (that was said in jest). As soon as they go off the pill, eg for a week's holiday at the snow whatever, they are super fertile. (my understanding anyways). If they were taking it unknowingly, then they'd also be super fertile unknowingly when they went off. - not wise.

Long term injections available - no idea how safe they are healthwise?

...based on individual circumstances? ...
I happen to think honest and open works, yet it does depend on the family dynamic.

I guess I agree stocks - sorta - maybe more like "go ask your mother" lol

 

[2020hindsight]

I'm thinking chastity belt ...
It makes me shudder to think ...

lol, sunder
whilst I know how you feel ( probably exactly as I felt lol)
I think you'd lose some kudos in your daughter's eyes ..
"but DAD!! - I'm the only girl in the ENTIRE SCHOOL wearing one of these!!"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chastity_belt

 

[Mr J]

Pity the poor bugger who tried getting past one of those.

Edit, you changed it. The other one was...vicious.

 

[2020hindsight]

I notice on that wiki website that you can also get male ones - so the line would go something like this ...

"yes of course you can get home after midnight dear daughter - just ask Johnny to pick you up 5 minutes earlier so that I can fit him with a bit of , well you know , jewellery sorta. "

Pity the poor bugger who tried getting past one of those.
Edit, you changed it. The other one was...vicious.

Yes I did - and you're right , it was indeed lol - but all the pictures are on that website
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chastity_belt

 

[disarray]

the best protection you can give your daughter is a sense of self worth and self respect. if she knows her popularity / value isn't related to how many times she puts out you're way ahead of the game.

definately push condoms over the pill for STD scares. some open and honest education with some graphic pictures (for scare value) and an understanding of short and long term consequences is a good place to start.

don't rely on schools or the government or anyone else to educate your kids on something like this, you need morals and health and respect all bundled together and presented in a mature and factual way. kids are smart these days and have access to reams of information, but often they don't know how to correctly process it and put it in context. that is what parents are supposed to do.

and buy a shotgun.

 

[jono1887]

Pity the poor bugger who tried getting past one of those.

Edit, you changed it. The other one was...vicious.

Are those spikes?!? ouchh!!

 

[Surfer35]

Give me her number, I'll help her with her experiments....

 

[johenmo]

Depends entriely on her age, her personality and your relationship. Have 2 daughters (youngest 19) and they were completely different).

Just don't ignore it, be proactive and accept you can only provide advice, not control. Be watchful of her behaviour and friends.

When #2 did had sex the second time, I actually sensed something different that morning and said something like "are you on the pill now you're having sex"? Should have seen her face!! "how do you know?" was the answer. Seems I missed the first but Mum didn't, and she was on the pill.

But she and I have a good relationship.

And take up drinking, lots of it!!!!! And don't visualise anything.

 

[2020hindsight]

Are those spikes?!? ouchh!!

looks like a cross between a fishtrap and something you'd use to rope a wild brumby maybe.

On a more serious note, I must say I enjoyed the polynesian way of life back there several years now. Illegitimacy had no stigma , etc - and extended families to assist with bringing kids up - very healthy attitude.

 

[moXJO]

Are those spikes?!? ouchh!!

Be good for opening your bottles of beer though

 

[2020hindsight]

... And don't visualise anything.

sorry Johenmo,
there's something ironic about the near juxtaposition of posts #12 and #14.
in the visualisation stakes I mean.

PS I'm not saying kids should be celibate - in fact I pity them. I was lucky enough to be young and carefree between the advent of the pill and the onset of AIDS. They were great times to be alive.

Just that kids these days have to be a heap more careful than we were. !! (that goes for boys too of course).

On the good news side, I guess illegitimacy is also much more acceptable in western society as well - some of my best friends are the nicest bunch of bas-tards you'd meet anywhere.

(Sorry mods Happy hour coming up

 

[nunthewiser]

excellent post disarray

 

[Smurf1976]

At age 10 you have a (hopefully) young and innocent girl.

By age 15 she understands that drinking too much is fun at the time but causes a hangover. She also understands that the first time you smoke a cigarette, it makes you cough and gasp. If you think she doesn't understand both of these from personal experience then the odds are pretty high that you're wrong.

And not long after she understands the concept of faking it. And that young blokes in a hurry aren't always too keen on condoms. Again, if you think she doesn't understand this from personal experience then your're probably wrong.

Then finally, at age 17 or 18, we let her drive a car now that she's got these other "rite of passage" things already sorted.

Pill or condoms? BOTH in my opinion - the latter to hopefully protect against STD's and the former because the latter isn't totally reliable. If you think she's too young and not going to be having sex then more likely it's a case of you being too old and conservative to admit it.

Agreed with disarray, but she'll still be having sex with someone, just hopefully after having given it a bit more thought.

 

[2020hindsight]

hell I agree with both you and disarray, smurf...
just that "old wise sayings" don't always apply when the stakes are so high..

the PARTICULAR "old wise saying" I'm thinking of is this one :-

"I'm glad I didn't listen to all that good advice when I was a kid... If I had , I would have missed out on my most valuable mistakes". !!

That saying works for many things, but not necessarily if
a) you end up pregnant
b) you end up sterile due to clem... ( I keep forgetting how to spell it)

Incidentally, without symptoms , it goes undetected - I'm guesing ( ??) that the moral of the story is to check for it "just in case"

http://www.avert.org/chlamydia.htm
Chlamydia, often misspelt Clamidia, is one of the most commonly reported bacterial sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). It is caused by the Chlamydia trachomatis bacterium, which may infect the urethra and rectum in both sexes and the cervix in women. Occasionally chlamydia can also affect other parts of the body, including the throat, lungs, liver and eyes.

Global chlamydia statistics show that an estimated 92 million new chlamydia infections occur each year, affecting more women (50 million) than men (42 million). Chlamydia can cause serious problems later in life if left untreated.
...
Clamidia is known as the ‘silent’ disease as in many people it produces no symptoms. It is estimated that 70-75% of women infected with chlamydia are asymptomatic (have no symptoms)