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How does one become a Sheikh?

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Wysiwyg said:
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Want to know more?
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It could be used to create separate thread, but their cyber robots would probably pick up that word of theirs and become interested. Actually they already can.


And I heard it all started with some court case, where lawyer or judge stated that this is "like church organisation" and it snowballed from there.
 
Re: How does one become a Sheikh

Julia said:
I'm not sure why you would want to restrict your potential congregation to a single faith as would be the case if you became Sheik whoever, gg.

Why not just become an "all things to all people" guru, have your own cult?

With your charm and persuasion, it would seem a piece of cake to get the disciples clamouring at your feet, ready to pay homage in megabucks.

We live in a world of confusion and too many laws and regulations.
If you were to offer the, um, golden path of enlightenment, dress in some flowing robes and mutter a few esoteric phrases, I'm sure the disenfranchised would be converts in no time.
:)
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Julia and other helpful posters. May I ask your advice on the first module of a course in Garpalam/Garpalanity, a new religion I have founded. Unlike other religions I give adherents two choices of name.

THE BOOK is to be called


THE BOOK​



Ch 1 V 1 of Garpalam/Garpalanity (depending on which course you are doing)

(This is also known as the bicycle ride, and needs to be memorised by all adherents)



I am Garpal Gumnut a simple long term trader of stocks who last night was riding my bicycle home from the Ross Island Hotel, when I struck grave danger.

The wind was in my hair, my cigar was shining brightly in the dimly lit streets, garpaldog was snoozing in the cart behind, and all was well.

Suddenly I spotted a booze bus ahead.

I was in mortal danger, so I prayed.

Please Oh Great Bothered, save me I prayed.

No bicycle helmet, no lights, smoking a cigar on a bicycle, some weed planted in my pocket, an unregistered cart in tow with garpaldog, and a combination of OP Rum, Sapporo and VB in my system, I was in grave danger.

Just as suddenly as I spotted the bus I did a quick U-Turn across the street narrowly missing a B-Double, only to hear the wail of a siren behind.

Then a large white peaceful cloud descended and still pedalling and with garpaldog the only witness I was transported far above Townsville, far above Queensland and Australia, past a Japanese gentleman peering out of a Russian Space Station to appear in front of Him.



gg
 
Re: How does one become a Sheikh

Garpal Gumnut said:
Julia and other helpful posters. May I ask your advice on the first module of a course in Garpalam/Garpalanity, a new religion I have founded. Unlike other religions I give adherents two choices of name.

THE BOOK is to be called


THE BOOK​



Ch 1 V 1 of Garpalam/Garpalanity (depending on which course you are doing)

(This is also known as the bicycle ride, and needs to be memorised by all adherents)



I am Garpal Gumnut a simple long term trader of stocks who last night was riding my bicycle home from the Ross Island Hotel, when I struck grave danger.

The wind was in my hair, my cigar was shining brightly in the dimly lit streets, garpaldog was snoozing in the cart behind, and all was well.

Suddenly I spotted a booze bus ahead.

I was in mortal danger, so I prayed.

Please Oh Great Bothered, save me I prayed.

No bicycle helmet, no lights, smoking a cigar on a bicycle, some weed planted in my pocket, an unregistered cart in tow with garpaldog, and a combination of OP Rum, Sapporo and VB in my system, I was in grave danger.

Just as suddenly as I spotted the bus I did a quick U-Turn across the street narrowly missing a B-Double, only to hear the wail of a siren behind.

Then a large white peaceful cloud descended and still pedalling and with garpaldog the only witness I was transported far above Townsville, far above Queensland and Australia, past a Japanese gentleman peering out of a Russian Space Station to appear in front of Him.



gg
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Was this guy peering out of the Space Station? Did you end up visiting the Soyuz when you were in Kazakh Garp?
 

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Wysiwyg said:
Not the first case to be involved with them. Here is a hand written version of the "beginning" in which we all became infected with body thetans and hence the source of all mankinds ailments. To be "cleared" one has to be audited with an e-meter and have the blocks lifted by recalling the past event. The e-meter needle moves a certain way when the patient runs an incident. Scientology also dead-agent people. Which means anyone comes too close with intent to undermine the cult they have a policy to follow that will cover up an incident or discredit the investigator. They have their own lawyers for the legal stuff too.
Let me know if you want to know more. I got tonnes on them.
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Call the auditors now! :D

 
Re: How does one become a Sheikh

GumbyLearner said:
Was this guy peering out of the Space Station? Did you end up visiting the Soyuz when you were in Kazakh Garp?
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That is a dead ringer for him GL.

It must be true !!!

A bishopric for you mullahmate.

sheikh gg
 
Well I don't know about here but in the states you need to fulfill this little list here to be a religion / church

1. a distinct legal existence,
2. a recognized creed and form of worship,
3. a definite and distinct ecclesiastical government,
4. a formal code of doctrine and discipline
5. a distinct religious history,
6. a membership not associated with any other church or denomination,
7. an organization of ordained ministers,
8. ordained ministers selected after completing prescribed studies,
9. a literature of its own,
10. established places of worship,
11. regular congregations,
12. regular religious services,
13. schools for religious instruction of the young,
14. school for the preparation of its ministers.

Get that lot sorted you:D are granted tax fee status, must by why Mel Gibson is having a crack. Much the same reason the scientologists fought the IRS for 20 yrs. :rolleyes:
 
Vizion said:
Well I don't know about here but in the states you need to fulfill this little list here to be a religion / church

1. a distinct legal existence,
2. a recognized creed and form of worship,
3. a definite and distinct ecclesiastical government,
4. a formal code of doctrine and discipline
5. a distinct religious history,
6. a membership not associated with any other church or denomination,
7. an organization of ordained ministers,
8. ordained ministers selected after completing prescribed studies,
9. a literature of its own,
10. established places of worship,
11. regular congregations,
12. regular religious services,
13. schools for religious instruction of the young,
14. school for the preparation of its ministers.

Get that lot sorted you:D are granted tax fee status, must by why Mel Gibson is having a crack. Much the same reason the scientologists fought the IRS for 20 yrs. :rolleyes:
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Thanks mate.

Easily sorted.

I reckon we have 50% of the requirements atm.

I don't have time to tell you what He said, once we passed the Japanese gent in the Soyuz atm.

Any asf members who want to get in on the ground floor contact either myself, Sheikh Garpal Gumnut, Sister Julia or Mullah Gumby Learner by pm.

May the tax rebate go with you my brothers and sisters.

Sheikh gg
 
Garpal Gumnut said:
Thanks mate.

Easily sorted.

I reckon we have 50% of the requirements atm.

I don't have time to tell you what He said, once we passed the Japanese gent in the Soyuz atm.

Any asf members who want to get in on the ground floor contact either myself, Sheikh Garpal Gumnut, Sister Julia or Mullah Gumby Learner by pm.

May the tax rebate go with you my brothers and sisters.

Sheikh gg
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Under this proposed establishment of Sheikh Garpal Gumnut & his minions would you consider Jizyah as a possible revenue source?
 
Rev Gumnut this site may be for you.

http://www.themonastery.org/

Join the likes of Richard Branson and Doug Mulray....

Google & Wiki for more details.

I'm busy tonight I've still got another couple of 44 gallon drums of water to bless before retiring for the night.

Peace be with you...
 
overit said:
Yes please.

Once your "inside" is it easy to break away from the church or do they make this difficult?

How much control do they put on your life? How expensive is it to progress through the levels? Who actually controls the church? Where does the excess money go?

Did the south park episode get it all right?
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You should start another thread as this is off topic but remember what Happy posted. :eek:

I have known of this organisation for more than 20 years and have picked up some juice on them along the way as they pop into the spotlight. Once in they do "encourage" you to stay. They have psychological security checks to make sure you are dedicated to the cause. The "conditioning" begins at the basic-basic level and once they have you hooked then various strategies are applied to keep them "jumping through the hoops". One of these strategies involves isolating the recruit from their parents and friends because any associations could re-stimulate "engrams" and hence destabilise the healing process.
An "engram" is a recording of the perceptions (sound sight etc.) in the reactive part of our mind when we were in an unconscious state. According to them, and this may well be fact, any moment of physiological or psychological pain these records become embedded only to resurface later when stimulated.
David Miscavage is C.O.B. and the money rises to the top. That is why you see the recruitment venues low key and a cheap rented room.
I had to find recent prices for auditing on the net and 2006 prices were into the thousands for O.T. levels. From raw recruit to completion is estimated to be well over 100 thousand dollars.

Psychotherapy or religion? I know where I stand. :cool:
 
Just an update on one of my fellow sheikhs.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/1007091sheikh1.html

This guy is the ruler of one of the constituent states of the UAE, United Arab Emirates. His little fiefdom is called Ras al-Khaimah and his name is Sheikh Saud bin Saqr Al Qasimi.

He got in to a spot of bother with in the US in June 2005 and spent the weekend in detention for sexual assault of a housemaid. He has a mugshot to prove it.

Charges were not laid and he pissed off back to the UAE on the Monday.

Sheikhs are special ain't they.

It makes me ashamed to become a sheikh, but every barrel has one rotten one within.

He denied pinning the housekeeper to the couch and claimed that the hotel employee "agreed to the things we were doing."

In her report, Claymon noted that Sheikh Saud "changed his story many times," and "would add a little bit more to it" during police questioning.

At the conclusion of his interview, the sheikh was arrested. He was handcuffed, placed into a patrol car, and transported to the Adult Detention Center, where he was booked on two counts of felony criminal sexual conduct. His contention that he could not be arrested because of his diplomatic status was rejected by a county prosecutor consulted by police. Records show that Sheikh Saud was released from jail after spending a weekend in custody (he apparently returned immediately to the UAE).
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Sheikh Saud is hosting the Americas Cup Race in the UAE in February 2010.

I will not be taking Dharma there.

gg
 
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