Kid's Sport - when does it become all about winning?

[Garpal Gumnut]

Many parents are themselves but children.

There is little importance put on maturity in our society.

I see parents saying dreadful things to their children in Woolies and Bunnings, not just at junior footie or netball.

Many of the lumpenproletariat have ideas of rights without responsibilities.

And the children suffer.

gg

 

[doctorj]

Many parents are themselves but children.

There is little importance put on maturity in our society.

It's a bit off topic, but I remember seeing an u/14 game of basketball. One of the referees on the game was 13 and it was her first game without someone running along side her. Throughout the first quarter, parents of both sides were shouting down at her from the stands about cheating, missed calls, wrong calls etc etc, despite her doing a pretty good job.

It's no wonder kids grow up with out the most basic respect for others or manners.

Anyway, myself and a colleague sat ourselves directly behind the most vocal parents and started shouting abuse at their sons from the stand. Needless to say they weren't impressed and failed to see the irony in it, but they did eventually get the message (for that week at least).

The young girl had a pretty good season as a referee, but never came back for a second.

 

[nunthewiser]

lumpenproletariat

off topic

is that a real word GG ? if so can you tell me what it means

yours sincerely

an illiterate nun

 

[springhill]

lumpenproletariat

A German bird that has been hit on the head... oh no wait, that's a lumpenprolorikeet.
My bad.

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

off topic

is that a real word GG ? if so can you tell me what it means

yours sincerely

an illiterate nun

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lumpenproletariat

gg

 

[nunthewiser]

LOL awesome!

i have learnt a new word

cheers

sorry for the offtopic learning session

as you were

 

[DocK]

LOL awesome!

i have learnt a new word

cheers

sorry for the offtopic learning session

as you were

It would appear you may need to change your name to nowthewiser?

 

[adobee]

In my opinion lowest level sports everyone should get a good run.. to be honest though 2/3 of the game is not bad I have seen some kids benched for all but five minutes... If I coached a lower grade team I would have a roster made where they were on and off and everyone got the fair go.. perhaps with the best players on in the end..

I remember in a basketball team when i was fifteen that a kid whos dad coached said to him.. in the final .. do you want to play or do you want to win ?? I think everyone should play this is unfair.. reps etc different storey.. lowest grade is just for the fun and any parents taking it seriously should get a life..

that being said Hockey ???? change sports.. unless its ice hockey..
if they cant get a good run set them up in something else.. send them to golf or tennis or something they will get a run..

 

[DocK]

As a kid, I used to play footy, basketball and cricket with varying degrees of success. I was never very good at footy in particular, but persisted with it on the insistance of my dad. I spent much of the game watching the ball fly in one direction or another over my head. I'd get frustrated when I felt players didn't pass it to me when I felt they could have. I also spent more than my fair share on the bench. Looking back though, I honestly believe it was good for me. I learnt at a young age that nothing is given, it is earned.

On the other hand, I was much better at basketball. Sure, I was never quite quick enough to be as short as I was, but I could more than hold up my role in a team. Also I found that many of the skills I learned playing footy were applicable to basketball (positioning to win rebounds for example).

I never really went anywhere as a basketball player (I still like to think that winning MVP in an u/16 a grade comp was a massive achievement, but in reality, it's not), but I playing gave me the opportunity to take up refereeing and have been lucky to be taken around Aus to referee.

To this day, I think the lessons I learned playing footy help me in some way each day. It's ok not to be the best at everything, you give something your all and one way or another you'll get what you deserve, even if it's not in the form you think.

I'd encourage your kids to stick with the hockey, encourage them to earn their position in the team, offer them support when they're down and applaud them when they do well.

If the coach is a good one, he'll be working with them at training to improve their skills and to help them win a place in the side. If he's not, then find a coach that will.

Valid points about them having to earn their places I guess. I've calmed down a bit, have just started my second glass of cheap red, and am now inclined to just pull my head in, see what happens tomorrow, avoid the coach, cheer the kids and make sure they don't get the same coach next year. I'm not sure they've learnt too much this year - the coach is very young and while I believe a decent player herself, not so great when it comes to handling a team of 13yo boys (I find the idea rather frightening myself). One of the main reasons they want to play is to have fun with their mates - and I guess they can do that whether they play a full game or not. One of the main reasons I want them to stay involved in sport is so that they learn to be a "team player" and get some fresh air and exercise. I guess at this point in their hockey careers being a "team player" probably means taking one for the team and sitting on the bench, sigh..

In your later post, doctorj, you mentioned how a young female ref was heckled by some parents. Same thing often happens at my kids games. They have a programme running for referee training as they are always in fairly short supply. Quite often you may have an U15 boy reffing an U13 game with an older boy (not finals) - I'm often amazed that some parents will hurl abuse at a 15year-old who is still learning himself just because their pride and joy may have been on the end of a questionable call. They usually even out over the course of a game - some parents need to remember it's not the bloody olympics!

 

[Happy]

...

What do you think? Am I justified in being upset with the coach, or do I need a "reality check"? Don't hold back - I'd appreciate honest opinions.

I am totally against sport to win.

I am for sport to be fit and to enjoy, to work on strategies and improve them, to develop friendships and trust.

 

[Julia]

It's ok not to be the best at everything, you give something your all and one way or another you'll get what you deserve, even if it's not in the form you think.

I'd strongly endorse this. Having been brought up with the expectation from parents that I was expected to excel at everything, I found it a great burden. It took me until I was about 30 to understand that it was OK to be mediocre.

 

[jbocker]

Playing sport can be a complex experience. Good and Bad coaches, players and umpires are part of the equation. Just be there supporting you children through both winning / losing, help with the experiences they have, not everyone is going to star, and at times they will stuff up, but other times they will doing something that demonstrates a good skill improvement or as importantly being a team player. Let them know that you really enjoy watching them, that in itself will alleviate most issues. Support any variation of sports whether they are team, individual or one on one.
Dont live your sporting expectations through your children. Attend training it really helps coaches, absolutely avoid dump and run on game days.

The ugliest I have seen about "winning" is the second person in a running race being called the first loser
Thankfully Aussie culture tends to acknowledge the 'under-dog' who trys hard. I hope we dont lose that.

 

[prawn_86]

I am totally against sport to win.

I am for sport to be fit and to enjoy, to work on strategies and improve them, to develop friendships and trust.

Maybe its the beers i have had, but i cant get my head around this Happy. Without the aim of winning, then there would be no strategies, skills, or even sport.

Football is my game, so lets stick with that for an example. Without the aim of winning, then people would just go out and have a kick, with no real rules, but even this form of 'training' would have no purpose.

Of course the aim of sport is to win, and it builds character too. I agree there is a line between social and competitive sport, but when it comes down to it, the aim is still at least to try and win.

 

[Happy]

Maybe its the beers i have had, but i cant get my head around this Happy. Without the aim of winning, then there would be no strategies, skills, or even sport.

Football is my game, so lets stick with that for an example. Without the aim of winning, then people would just go out and have a kick, with no real rules, but even this form of 'training' would have no purpose.

Of course the aim of sport is to win, and it builds character too. I agree there is a line between social and competitive sport, but when it comes down to it, the aim is still at least to try and win.

Aim: sport
Win: result (not at all costs)

 

[Ardyne]

Doc, played hockey most of my school days here are ten points that I think can turn an average hockey player into a great hockey player and it has little to do with ball skills. Most of these were taught to me by a visiting English u/16's coach who had us for a season. (some of these might be obvious)

1. Bum down , head up. Cant see whats around you if your hunched over the ball.

2. When stopping the ball allow the stick to "give" a couple of cm's. you'll find it'll stick like glue. (Also point 1 and hand down the stick)

3. Whenever possible make the effort to get around and receive the ball on the forestick dont be lazy and try a backstick stop.

4. Pushing often works just awsell as hitting the ball, its qucker to do and more accurate.

5 when hitting the ball hold the stick say a 1/4 of the way down. holding at the end like a golf club is far too slow and clumsy giving the opposition time to steal the ball.

6. When the opposition is coming at you dont run at them and tackle, run with them. Dribble the ball toward your kid and get him to shuffle backward and see how much harder he is to get around.

7 Never over commit to a tackle. Its far better to niggle and hassle a player than to lunge straight in and get whipped. You often dont have to tackle, just be in their feild of vision and ready to tackle, this can be enough to force an error. Often faking a tackle(lunge) can get the opposition to make an error allowing an easier posession than just diving straight in.

8.My mum who played for Australia in 59-60 gave me this one. When in the "D" she taught me to think that ball was mine. Own it. Be aggressive, Dont look at it, watch it, think about it, just do whatever it takes to get that thing in the net.

9. When a team mate is shooting for goal. Follow it in. Its either going in, miss or bounce of something so charge the goalie looking for the rebound.

10. Nothing wrong with being a goalie. A good goale is like a good drummer. Bloody hard to find.

 

[LonelyTrader]

I'd strongly endorse this. Having been brought up with the expectation from parents that I was expected to excel at everything, I found it a great burden. It took me until I was about 30 to understand that it was OK to be mediocre.

I'd have to agree!! I think it's important to learn that it's ok to be the best, or mediocre, or the worst as long as you do your best. Everyone is different and that's also an important lesson. I missed out on a lot of fun with sport as a teenager cos i wanted to be the best straight away or i wouldn't play and couldn't have fun. It took me until recently (having kids myself) to realise that it's important to give it a go and have fun!!!!!:

 

[DocK]

Well the grandfinal has come and gone. My boys were played for 5 mins in the first half and 10 mins for one and 15 mins for the other in the second half - so less than half the game for each of them. Their team was beaten - by a team that they had beaten 3 times during the season - when all players got equal time..... Karma imo.

They played like a group of individuals instead of as a team, not passing to each other, not backing each other up etc. The mother of the kid who wound up playing goalie was very vocal that in her opinion the team was in disarray as they needed her son on the field. Several parents heckled one of the umpires from the sidelines when the score turned against our team. One of the kids on our team abused his own team's goalie when he let one through (and it was a corker - it would have got past any of them!) - later that day the kid dishing out the abuse wound up getting the "coaches award" for best and fairest over the season - says it all really.

Kids sport - I'm over it!!

 

[awg]

who would be a coach hey!

my sons team got beat 4-0 in the Rugby League Grand final..just one try)

The Coach was tremendous, he took a team that had never played together before and melded them into a great unit...my son loved it.

took them from getting thrashed to really playing very well by the end

He was a coach that had worked at a very high level before and took over at the request of the club, due to parent problems the year before, he had no kids in the team, it was the first year my son played for this team

The other team deserved to win, as they played better, and had been front runners all year

I have a belief that coaches should teach basic skills more, encourage fun and fitness....winning will surely follow.

parents ego getting in the way makes me feel ill, regretably, mostly it is those parents who get involved..we were lucky this year, a mellow bunch of parents..the "high achiever" parents make me doubly ill.

I do take the attitude that one must put ones hand up, and try to get involved in some way, rather than be critical of those who do, otherwise its put up or shut up ( have been manager and trainer before)

 

[bluelabel]

DocK, you should be proud of your kids. One a goalie in a team that is on top of the ladder. They obviously didnt get there cause every one was scoring against them.
Weakest link, bah humbug! You've obviously got the best goalie in the league. Tell him to stick at it. If he wants to liven it up a bit whack a set of ice skates on him. Stanley Cup here we come!!
The other kid is a pinch hitter. He doesnt need to play the whole game, he comes on runs hard, makes the opportunities, freeing others up to score. Dont loose faith because of a self important know nothing git. remember they say those that cant teach. The coach cant be that good a player.
IMO you got two champions on your hands their DocK.
Keep us informed of their progress through the finals

:bier:

blue