Late bloomers?

[Nyden]

Hello guys,

I was just wondering if there are any late bloomers here? Folk that went to university at a later point in their life, or had issues whilst they were young; which prohibited a career and study?

I would fall into the latter category! After completing year 12, despite great promise and a natural talent for most things ... I essentially did very little for a couple of years. I've been back on the path (uni) now for a while; but am suddenly feeling very behind, and quite low. I know that this is probably quite silly; as I am still very young (and it's litterally only a couple of years)... but I'm unfortunately a hair or 2 off of what constitutes as a normal person.

Perhaps it's just one of my numerous ailments cycling up again ... I guess I'm looking for a tad of cheering up Hoping to hear some success stories; as I'm unable to envision a positive future when I get like this.

 

[saiter]

I've seen a few mature age students doing science degrees (>25 years old) so you've got nothing to worry about. If anything, you may be more successful because you'd have more discipline than the rest of us and might actually get some work done

 

[Green08]

Hi Nyden, you’re a funny one.

Of course there a many late bloomers I just don't think many will openly discuss it you know the 'ego problem'.

When I finished the HSC was accepted into 5 universities could have gone but wanted a year off from study. Was side tracked married and had my 2 gorgeous kids early. I wouldn't have changed a thing as you don’t look crazy upside down on the play equipment with them, someone pushing 40+ would.

Could never have survived Uni with two young ones (one autistic) and working full time divorced by then.

I worked right through with them running my own business and doing PA work (hate it). So now they are more independent and not craving 'mum' attention all the time I returned to Uni last year to chase a childhood dream of Studying Fine Art at 41 yrs my birthday was 2 days ago. I have taken class here and there painted and drew a lot for stress relief.

I really enjoy it, yes am one of the oldies in the class but wiser and worldlier then many fresh youngsters. We all get on fine, I take in my Moby, Pink Floyd, Beethoven, INXS, classical guitar, Richard Clapton, etc cds and they listen to them happily. Some were copied!

Many people who have lost jobs for various reasons go back in the 40's, 50', 60's and sometimes older!! Most women I have found out go into Nursing, AIN, midwifery, those jobs in need, and where patience and dedication are truly valued from the staff and patients who receive genuine care. Pay is better than the pension plus they get social contact which they love. People love experience.

I read of an 80 year old women who completed her degree at Uni passing with Honors, she made lots of friends in the younger group.

Having my children young was the best thing. You're pretty much a kid yourself at heart we still muck around and I have the most loving bond with them. Thus in hindsight I wouldn't have changed anything. I love my life. I would love to study Criminology next. As I age I lot more curious about life and what makes people tick.

Nyden - Uni can't teach everything repect, love, courage, empathy you find that through living life.

 

[white_crane]

Been there, done that and got a degree in it! lol

I went to uni for 4 years straight after school. I failed my thesis in final year, had a year off, then went back to repeat it. I started a second degree (totally unrelated to the 1st) whilst finishing the first. Whilst in my third year (would have been the 7th in total) of that degree, I quit uni and got a job. After 8 months in that job, I was going back to uni to do a master's degree, but pulled the pin before the first day. I moved back to my home town, got a job (in a field in no way related to any of my studies by the way) and have been there for just under 3 years now. Many times I have contemplated going back to complete my 2nd degree. I would like to.

PS - There were quite a few mature age students in both degrees I studied. Go for it, I wish you every success. It's never too late to learn and start something new, especially if it's going to make you happy. And that is the important thing, being happy.

 

[ck13488]

well im in no way old...but ive spent the last 3 years since the HSC floating along at uni quite unsuccessfully academically but ive had a great deal of fun! currently deffered and working 2 jobs to make some $$$

now im changing to a new degree next year while all my friends are finishing their degrees/final year/marries/kids.....its starting to freak me. poor me starting a new degree, no established 'career' to speak of and definatly nowhere near marriage/children

 

[derty]

Nyden I think there is an advantage to entering Uni later in life.

I didn't go to uni when I left yr 12 mainly because I went off the rails a bit, wagged a heap of school to smoke pot, drink and hang out with mates. It drove my parents to despair as previously I was an A maths and science student.

After a while of going nowhere I eventually went and did a TAFE course and ended up working in mineral exploration. When I was 26 I decided I should go to uni and become a Geologist. I shopped around for the best course and off I went having saved enough to support myself for the duration of the degree.

I went there with a purpose and worked exceptionally hard when I had to. I partied heaps but had the common-sense to prioritise work and play. Having previously worked in the field and being a bit more mature I understood the fundamental concepts of the field and could work on learning the details while others were struggling with the concepts.

So from failing yr 12 I went on to get a 1st class honours in Geology and also won the university medal for science. There is no way I would have achieved that had I gone to uni immediately following school, having gone off the rails or not.

 

[chops_a_must]

now im changing to a new degree next year while all my friends are finishing their degrees/final year/marries/kids.....its starting to freak me. poor me starting a new degree, no established 'career' to speak of and definatly nowhere near marriage/children

Lol. I hear ya.

As I've always said, "Graduation is for quitters!"

 

[BradK]

(I) am suddenly feeling very behind, and quite low. I know that this is probably quite silly; ... but I'm unfortunately a hair or 2 off of what constitutes as a normal person.

Like you, I will refrain my friend

 

[Nyden]

Thanks for the replies guys.

Well, I already have been a student before; and as mentioned - I'm only 2-3 years 'behind' the standard age. I'm just being irrational about all this, I know it; but it doesn't help


ck13488, your situation describes mine quite closely. That's the feeling I have as well; many people I knew have now begun their careers, are married, and are establishing their roots in the world. I still haven't really found what I want to do; and it's quite disheartening. The last few days I've been leaning towards Arts/Design, but other days I'm more keen on my current course of study.

The unfortunate thing for me is that I really can't allow myself to become depressed; and I'm trying desperately to not. Last time I was depressed I had blackened singed fingers

 

[Green08]

I hate it when 'adults' ask teenagers or kids "What do you want to do when you gro up?" Like they have a true understanding of ever career!!

Watching people some don't know wht their meant to do or feel comfortable in until the late 20's or 30's. Uni students who I have know on average change their mind 2 - 3 times on topic of study.

But then ask someone who is in their 50's "What do you want to do when you grow up?" boy will the answer be different and pointed!

 

[ck13488]

Thanks for the replies guys.
ck13488, your situation describes mine quite closely. That's the feeling I have as well; many people I knew have now begun their careers, are married, and are establishing their roots in the world. I still haven't really found what I want to do; and it's quite disheartening. The last few days I've been leaning towards Arts/Design, but other days I'm more keen on my current course of study.

i never knew what i wanted to do when i chose my course initially. i did engineering because i didnt want to do law/teaching/medicine/science! i did enginenring as i have a sound mechanical understanding and lots of common sense...BUT as it turns out to get an engineering degree you have to be a maths genius with no common sense whatsoever, then once you graduate, somehow be able to combine creative and logical thinking and apply it with common sense...something i see 90% of my peers failing at miserably

Watching people some don't know wht their meant to do or feel comfortable in until the late 20's or 30's. Uni students who I have know on average change their mind 2 - 3 times on topic of study.

i have it on good authority that the historical completion rate for the first degree people study is 11% seems not many people what to know what they want to do when they start out so your not alonehang in there buddy

 

[Green08]

I also think the choice of careers and study paths are so diverse as technology rapidly changes. People do feel confused and worry is this the right one?

When my parents went to Uni there wasn't such choice. They choose Medicine, the basic degree was 8 year now it is 6 years. Not every student sees an autopsy which I think is a pretty important part of the learning. It was NSW Uni of Sydney Uni that lost their license to keep corpses and body parts as students where doing some nasty things with them (not part of the course studies) and the tags acknowledging who's bits was whose were mixed up.

 

[chops_a_must]

I also think the choice of careers and study paths are so diverse as technology rapidly changes. People do feel confused and worry is this the right one?

When my parents went to Uni there wasn't such choice. They choose Medicine, the basic degree was 8 year now it is 6 years. Not every student sees an autopsy which I think is a pretty important part of the learning. It was NSW Uni of Sydney Uni that lost their license to keep corpses and body parts as students where doing some nasty things with them (not part of the course studies) and the tags acknowledging who's bits was whose were mixed up.

Another problem is, you seem to have to do courses in the most menial things in order to get a job in an area.

Kind of limits the ability to just fall into an area which suits...

 

[awg]

Hi Nyden,

good news: I do know 3 people very close to me that did not commence their degrees until late 30's, now working succesfully in well paid professional occupations.

not so good news: If you are an angst sufferer, you better get used to it mate, it tends to be recurrant, and no amount of money, study or job prestige will make it go away entirely.

Be kind to yourself, and others, the blackness can be whittled down.

 

[mazzatelli1000]

Thanks for the replies guys.

Well, I already have been a student before; and as mentioned - I'm only 2-3 years 'behind' the standard age. I'm just being irrational about all this, I know it; but it doesn't help


ck13488, your situation describes mine quite closely. That's the feeling I have as well; many people I knew have now begun their careers, are married, and are establishing their roots in the world. I still haven't really found what I want to do; and it's quite disheartening. The last few days I've been leaning towards Arts/Design, but other days I'm more keen on my current course of study.

The unfortunate thing for me is that I really can't allow myself to become depressed; and I'm trying desperately to not. Last time I was depressed I had blackened singed fingers

Ahhh I know how you feel, not knowing what to do with your career path.

I have finished my degree, but after I did I wanted to enrol in something else straight away!! I don't know if this has happened to you, but sometimes the thing you want to do most doesn't pay much at all!!!

Then there's the pressure of seeing friends progressing to family and in their careers etc.

There is no need to feel depressed, you'll forever feel empty until you find what you want, so don't give up!!

 

[Smurf1976]

Most people aren't "normal" in some way.

Some leave home at age 17 whilst others do it in their early 30's. Both may have perfectly legitimate and sensible reasons for their choice.

Some start working part time at age 14 and leave school at the end of grade 10 to take up full time work. Others do 6 or more years of study after grade 12 and apply for their first job in their mid-20's.

You're almost the odd one out these days if you've never worked at McDonalds / Hungry Jacks / KFC / Coles / Woolies because a huge number of young people have worked for one of them. Try employing someone under 20 and you'll soon find that 2 out of 3 reumes mention one of those 5 previous employers. But many others wouldn't know how to work the register if their life depended on it.

Most kids are into sport at some point. But there seems to be one at every school who just isn't interested.

Many go out clubbing every Friday and Saturday night until their mid-20's or older. But there are young people that could count on the fingers of one hand the number of times they ever have or ever will see the inside of a club because they just can't stand any aspect of it.

Some are tinkering with cars before they are allowed to learn to drive. But it's not unusual to find people in their 30's or older learning to drive.

So I don't think that too many of us are completely "normal". Most would have one or more aspects of their life that were late or didn't happen at all. It's not like every single person on their 18th birthday goes out with their school / uni mates after finishing their shift at some burger place and then wakes up the next morning with their arm covered in stamps and a hangover that's beyond a joke. We're all different.

As for me, I did a lot of career / business / political type things very early (some quite serious stuff by age 16) but I didn't own a car until I was 23 as it just didn't interest me. It all seemed perfectly reasonable at the time, it's only now that I look back and realise that I wasn't "normal" in any way whatsoever. In some ways that put me a full decade behind most others. In other areas I've done things that they never will which puts me infinitely in front.

If there's one big lesson I've learned in all of this though it's this. Don't assume that the options you have available today will be there tomorrow. Some will, many won't. That goes for everything from TAFE and uni through to cars and nights out. It's there now but the chance is very real that in 5 years time the course no longer exists and neither does the pub/club your mates spent their evenings at.

If there's one thing you don't realise when you're 20 it's just how much comes and goes and how quickly it all happens. If you want it then, whatever it is, do it NOW or understand that there's a real chance you will never again have the opportunity.

 

[SM Junkie]

Nyden,

A few years behind the average age is still so young. I didn't even have the qualifications to enter Uni until I was in my very late 20's. Then I quit my job and went to uni for 4 years, so then into my 30's.

The best thing about being a mature age student, was that the oldies all hung out together and age was not an issue. I made some life long friends during my uni years. Mature students bring life experience to class discussions and were excellent to bounce ideas off of.

Post uni, well I found my previous experience as a Personal Assistant complimented my current career. I could produce work, faster and was able to carry a higher workload because I was organised. What probably suprised me the most was that I moved into management roles a lot faster than all the younger people I attended uni with. A bit of a bonus being mature, people take you more seriously.

So cheer up, you will probably find things will all fit together in the long run. Life is long, don't be in a rush to hit a destination because there are always new goals and new directions along the road

 

[Julia]

H
not so good news: If you are an angst sufferer, you better get used to it mate, it tends to be recurrant, and no amount of money, study or job prestige will make it go away entirely.

Be kind to yourself, and others, the blackness can be whittled down.

Nyden, awg's comments are insightful. I was also thinking that your worrying about your 'normal-ness' (probably no such word) in terms of where you are academically/career-wise might be more a particular focus of a more general lack of feeling OK. Perhaps might be something to talk through with a psychologist or counsellor to clarify the source of why you're feeling so unsettled?

A woman I know has two years ago completed her Masters and is now doing a Ph.D. She is 76.

 

[moXJO]

If there's one big lesson I've learned in all of this though it's this. Don't assume that the options you have available today will be there tomorrow. Some will, many won't. That goes for everything from TAFE and uni through to cars and nights out. It's there now but the chance is very real that in 5 years time the course no longer exists and neither does the pub/club your mates spent their evenings at.
.

Good advice smurf. Just what I needed to hear.