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You do what?

We should try to construct the ultimate euphemism.

here's a try for an option trader:

"I construct market neutral, high beta, delta zero, greek balanced, spousal benefited, investment structures for below retirement aged individuals."
 
Good post Julia, wish he came to my home (though I don't live with the folks).

I was told by a mate several months ago (who is a financial planner), that trading is a high risk, zero sum game. I bet his clients wish their mutual funds were a zero sum game...........

Which brings me to a favourite quote of mine: "I don't want the cheese, I just want to get out of the trap".
 
"I have a bunch of sweat shops in The Phillipines. You should see those kids make those hats!"

Max, After the Sunset.
 
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