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What is hell?

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Timmy

Timmy

white swans need love too
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Well, there's another thread around where people are being told they are going to go to hell! Or at least not going to get into heaven. My, my, what passions an internet forum can arouse...

Anyhoo, got me thinking... What the hell is hell? I don't know, but maybe we can generate some ideas.

In hell the traffic is appalling, bumper-to-bumper appalling. And the air-con won't work. Don't bother winding down the window, no relief there.

There's no McDonald's. Or there's only McDonald's, depending on your perspective.

The only thing on TV is re-runs of Ahlympic events. With Bruce McAvaney commentating. And Tim Bailey weather reports.

Collingwood and Carlton always win, even when playing each other...weird.

Your undies shrink. There's no broadband. Petrol is cheap but you can only buy 4 cylinder family wagons. They are all automatics too.

More please....
 
Marriage?

*Hopes wife doesn't stumble across this*

**if she does, it's obviously a joke, dear**

***my love for you grows strongers every day***
 
The worse bit about hell for me will be putting up with all the Bible bashers who are sent to hell but think they should be in heaven and who will be non stop whinging about it.:p:

In fact they will probably out number us non-believing sinners 2 to 1:eek:
 
This one is an oldie... but a good giggle anyways...

Dr. Schambaugh, of the University of Oklahoma School of Chemical Engineering, Final Exam question for May of 1997. Dr. Schambaugh is known for asking questions such as, "why do airplanes fly?" on his final exams. His one and only final exam question in May 1997 for his Momentum, Heat and Mass Transfer II class was: "Is hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with proof."

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

"First, We postulate that if souls exist, then they must have some mass. If they do, then a mole of souls can also have a mass. So, at what rate are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls leaving? I think we can safely assume that once a soul gets to hell, it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for souls entering hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, then you will go to hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all people and souls go to hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in hell to increase exponentially.

Now, we look at the rate of change in volume in hell. Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in hell to stay the same, the ratio of the mass of souls and volume needs to stay constant. Two options exist:

1. If hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter hell, then the temperature and pressure in hell will increase until all hell breaks loose.
2. If hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during Freshman year, "that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with you" and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then Option 2 cannot be true...Thus, hell is exothermic."

The student, Tim Graham, got the only A.
Click to expand...
 
Christmas with the family and having to hang around. Stopped going long ago, thought - I'm a praticing happy athestis what the Hell am I going through this Hell for! I'll celebrate Giving and Receiving when every I want to. Anyone have Chocolate??.....can negoitate on the receiving
 
Elliot wave, and Gann, are both shown to be valid. Thats not a problem, except for listening to the "I told you so"s.

:couch
 
Going fishing and finding out that you left the bait at home. Happened to me this week and believe me it was hell.
 
korrupt_1 said:
This one is an oldie... but a good giggle anyways...
Click to expand...

I like Tim Graham! :D

Very Logical fella.

:topic

I can remember doing something similar, but totally different subject. I carefully read the strict phrasing of the question. When I got the assignment back with comments to the effect that it is not what was required, I protested... but it is literally what the question asked for. After due consideration, my assignment was returned marked with a high distinction and the explination... yes, you are right... that is literally, exactly what the question asked.

The moral of the story... HELL is a state of mind... where illogical people reside... or linger... or something. :p:
 
Timmy said:
Elliot wave, and Gann, are both shown to be valid. Thats not a problem, except for listening to the "I told you so"s.

:couch
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Well as David the Holly one has told me I am going to burn in the fires of Hell for being a non believer (Ok he didn't quite say that but I like to exaggerate)

Maybe it won't be that bad.


Baggy be the first one to shake your hands in the fires of Hell with "I told you so" regarding Elliot Wave ;) We all know it works :)
 
.....
To those who understands the Europeans:

Heaven is a place where the police are English; the chefs are Italian; the car mechanics are German; the lovers are French and it's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is a place where the police are German; the chefs are English; the car mechanics are French; the lovers are Swiss and it's all organized by the Italians
Click to expand...
 
Timmy said:
There's no McDonald's. Or there's only McDonald's, depending on your perspective.
Click to expand...

Is everyone's idea of hell the same? For example, if one person dislikes McDonald's, but another loves it, and both of these people go to hell, does hell have McDonald's?

How can hell vary depending on everyone's different ideology? Who decides who goes to hell or heaven? Is there a court that they can object to?

Do animals go to hell?

You can't answer these questions because you need to be in hell to tell me :p:

Therefore, you can't be right or wrong. Got to love religion, can't prove that hell exists, but if you don't believe it does, you're going to end up there.
 
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