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Ugly Parent Syndrome

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Congratulate the parents !?!?
Unacceptable behaviour in company with talent is still unacceptable behaviour.
This fact also gets a bit lost on the AFL from time to time.
 
Well it has happened yet again. Ugly Parent Syndrome is alive and well. Junior AFL and I was the umpire. The game was a draw at 3/4 time and everybody was happy, even to the point whereby some of the parents of the opposing team came up and congratulated me on the performance. In the last quarter the game is up for grabs and the opposing team starts to flood the forward line. The game gets scrappy. Several of their best players are starting to go hard at the ball. One of them kicks the ball ... HARD ... and it slams into his team mates face. The kid goes down. I give him a free kick. He spears the ball to another team mate who cops it in the guts and winds himself. He goes down. I give him a kick on goals. The opposition parents jump up from the sidelines and demand I call off the game because it is getting too rough. I look at my watch. 36 seconds to go. Why not I think to myself? Blow the whistle and cross the arms calling full time. Same parent leaps up and abuses me for calling off the game as "Little Johnny" is having a shot on goals. Never mind that it is irrelevant as the other team is more than 2 goals in front? LMAO. Same parent screams at me (with a few others joining in now) that the game is too rough. I explain that of the 7 incidents during the whole game that 4 of them were caused by their own team mates. Oh Dear. The other 3 clashes the whistle was immediately blown and a free kick paid. (even though 2 of them were accidental) The guilty party chastised and threatened to be sent off it happens again. Now this is under 10's right? No points, no ladder, no sheep stations to be won or lost! *giggle*

I advise them to put a complaint into the governing body. Which they are happy to oblige my request. I have to sign the match report. They actually had written ... get this ... "GREAT UMPIRING" and then scribbled it out (still quite legible I must add) With a footnote atached "Digusted that the umpiring was against us" PMSL.

Now this did make me feel better but I really have to wonder will I umpire next year? Will I bother to go to the coaching clinics to keep up my accreditaion with the AFL? (at my cost) *Do it for the kids* a little voice bellows inside my head. Hmmmmmmmmmm .. NUP !
 
Did the resultant arguments with assorted parents take longer than 36 seconds ?
 
drsmith said:
Did the resultant arguments with assorted parents take longer than 36 seconds ?
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LOLOL ... they sure did Dr Smith ! I even reversed my decision and gave "Litte Johnny" a shot on goal. He kicked a point. Oh Dear?
 
trainspotter said:
One of them kicks the ball ... HARD ... and it slams into his team mates face. The kid goes down. I give him a free kick. He spears the ball to another team mate who cops it in the guts and winds himself. He goes down. I give him a kick on goals. !
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So, can I just check. You gave 2 free kicks to players who had been 'injured' by their own team mates? Why?

Maybe it could even be used as a tactic to get a free. I think I might be a little antsy myself.
 
Well Prospector ... I am one of those "biased" umpires who pay a free kick or "mark" to the opposition so that they cannot accuse me of being "biased" against them. I might have to change my tactics on this one. The "home game" team should have been the ones getting "antsy" but as I have been with them for 5 years and they recognise my style of umpiring and they acknowledge that I am trying to be fair both ways they do not complain. Remembering this is UNDER 10's. It is about teaching the kids skill and the disciplines of the game. About having a go and playing in the spirit of the game and holding positions and not "flooding" etc etc.

I actually pay more free kicks against my home team then I do the other way. I believe this was the first time that the "away team" had been challenged enough for them to actually have to play at their very best. My understanding of it is that they normally wipe the floor with the opposing team. (which apparently is OK in their rules) So summarising I am thinking that the Mummy & Daddys were expecting an easy win and when this did not come about they decided to vent their spleen at the umpire and complain that it is too "rough" for the little darlings. ????
 
Hey trainspotter, ignoring who was home team or visitors, can you just confirm that you gave two free kicks to players who had been 'injured' by their own team mates? That was my query, that such tactics could be used to gain free kicks for your own team.
 
YES ... Prospector, I can confirm thet the "free kicks" which are to be interpreted as "marks" (whereby they have made an attempt to mark the ball and I have blown the whistle even though the ball has hurt them) I do this to allow the "away" team an escape route that they cannot make a formal complaint to the governing body in regards to the umpiring on the day. I have not blown the whistle for "my" team when it comes to these kind of "tactics" ... I always wave my hands in the air and call "PLAY ON" and "NO EYES FOR THE BALL". This is discrimination against my team I know but the parents on "my" team and myself have an understanding in regards to these stages of play. They constantly chide me on my whistle blowing in regards to this matter and the governing body has recognised that I am the leading umpire on "fairness" when it comes to a result. Match reports concur with this statement.

I have witnessed other umpires blow the whistle AGAINST "my" team for no other reason than and I quote "To build the confidence of their team".
 

How can you claim to be the leading umpire in "fairness" yet openly admit to discriminating against one team? And then you hide this discrimination my calling it a "mark" so that it cannot be questioned? I am not questioning your dedication to the kids, I know you do what you think is right. But how does this help them? They may be under 10's, but they are smart and they know who wins and loses and often keep scores themselves.

And just a query on junior football these days (it hasn't even been 8yrs since I played junior football, yet it seems to have changed so much). At what stage does it go from "no points, no ladder, etc" to following the rules correctly, keeping scores and ladders? Is it gradually phased out through the different age classes, or does it go straight into sheep stations?
 
YES Gav ... openly discrminate against MY team. I umpire MY team when it is a home game. The reason being that they are a team that understands and is accepting because they realise it is UNDER 10's. The kids know perfectly well what is going on and I have coached them and trained them and I umpire them. It makes them play better by "marking" the ball cleanly, they do not talk back to the umpire, they do not question my decisions, they do not "take out" their player behind play, I could go on and on as to how well this method works. Just to let you know, these kids have some serious skill and are a cut above most of the teams. It is called talent and has nothing to do with my coaching or umpiring. It requires ALL the parents to be accepting of these terms. So far this team has gone through with 2 losses for the year. Both times I was not the umpire. Not denigrating the other umpires, in both cases the kids were outplayed by a better team on the day. Simple as that. I asked the kids what happened and they said " We like your umpiring better cause we know what we AREN'T allowed to do". Kids will try it on and get away with it if they can.

Under 10 has always had a no sheep station rule in WA (or as long as I have been inolved, 8 years now) Under 12's keep score but no ladder recorded, Under 14's is when the chequebooks come out and the talent scouts sit in the stands looking for the next "rookie of the year".
 
I have found after many years that there is a distinct correlation between how good the parent was as a sportsman and how "ugly" or vocal they are at the game.

I have met parents who have been professional players at one stage or another and they are generally very quite, always unconcerned about the game, and usually happy or non commital regardless of the result. The ugly parents are enevitably the ones who didn't have a distingushed athletic career and appear to be making up for their own shortcommings via their children. Just my own observations.
 

Agree totally truevalue. Hubby was a professional sportperson (seems like a lifetime ago) and we rarely said anything when watching our sons play school sport. We would clap the opposition, other players, and our own kids when they did something well, but said nothing more than that. But we would sit back and watch with our mouths hanging open at those parents, who were usually overweight and very unco, yell out at their kids to do this, do that, run faster, jump higher etc etc, knowing that the most athletic thing they had ever done in their life was flick on the remote control on the TV.
 
We should write a book on this phenomenon. It appears to have a modicum of truth about it.
 
trainspotter said:
YES Gav ... openly discrminate against MY team. I umpire MY team when it is a home game.
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Whether you discriminate against YOUR team or the opposition is irrelevant, you are still favouring one team.


What does paying "marks" that should not be paid have to do with talking back to the umpire or taking out players behind play? Is this what the kids used to do before you paid these "marks", and these "marks" stopped it from happening? I'm not having a go at you, I am just trying to understand your reasoning for it.

What is the difference between you paying "marks" and what other umpires do when they award a free kick "to build the confidence of their team"? It seems very similar to me - the only difference being is that you try to disguise it as a "mark" (yet you admit that everyone knows that you are doing it). I just don't see the point...
 
gav said:
What does paying "marks" that should not be paid have to do with talking back to the umpire or taking out players behind play? ...
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Isnt it more about rewarding the effort and skill level for this age group, which may be poorly executed but a good attempt, rather than favouritism.

Having said all that, us parents did have a quiet rumble after the game about the umpires from male Catholic colleges.
 


You not had your pill this morning ... have you Gav?

I discriminate against MY team to teach them to be better at their skills and self discipline and control. Two hands and two eyes for the ball is a mark even if it drops to the ground. When the opposition does it I call it a mark. When my kids do it I call PLAY ON as they did not HOLD the ball. GOT ME NOW GAV? It teaches MY kids to have better skills and have a go rather than just thrusting out one hand and "claiming" a mark.

It has nothing to do with what you are trying to infer ?????

You seem to be making something that is very simple into something ridiculously hard going here Gav.

The difference is when another umpire PAYS FREE KICKS to HIS team for a one handed attempt BUT NOT MINE or that he gives them a KICK DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF GOAL when they do not deserve it BUT NOT MINE is "boosting the confidence of his players" !!!

Are you with me now Gav? It seems something has been lost in the written word here and I am unsure as to how I can explain this any more for the masses to understand???????
 

EGGSACKERY ! As I have previously writtten the current team I am coaching/umpiring have got some great skill. Making a half @rsed attempt at marking the ball will not get me to blow the whistle in favour for them. The other team (if they have similar skills) will be treated the same way.

If "Little Johnny" clearly displays that he is lacking in the football brains Dept. and skill levels required then he will be rewarded for his efforts. EVERY TIME.
 

If you bothered to read what I wrote, I said that I wasn't having a go at you, I just didn't understand the reasoning behind your decision. Please, where did I "infer" anything, and what was it that I "inferred"?


What difference does it make if it is in front of goal? It's not like you are playing for a spot in the finals as there is no ladder or points system... And maybe the other umpire did that for his team BUT NOT YOURS because your team has much better skills (as you keep pointing out), just like you do. You and the other umpire are both doing the same thing, you are both giving the weaker team more of a go. (I'm not saying this is right or wrong) I was not having a go at you at all, and I think it is great that you are involved in the kids sports.
 
I've never played or umpired football but as a general observation I wonder whether this overcomplicates what should be a simple matter.

Surely a mark is a mark and if the ball is dropped it is not.
 
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