Things I'm Grateful For

SM Junkie · 17 January 2010

Mr J said:
It's all relative. All that matters is what we ourselves think, and if missing the train leads to a similar emotional state to starving that day, what's the difference? Yes, you can say that the difference is that one missed the train while the other starved, but like I said all that matters to us is how we feel about the situation, not what others think about it.

If we're thankful, who do we thank? Chance?

I don't see how missing a train would evoke the same emotional state as starving. How would a person feel if they had little food and were unable to feed their family - total despair, hopelessness, extreme sadness, fear, failure perhaps. So if a person felt these emotions for missing the train, I'd suggest they better seek professional help.

Regardless of your belief system, being thankful or grateful is a way of focussing on all the good things in your life rather than giving power to all the negative. It also about stopping to appreciate the little things, which can be more important in the grand scheme of things.

I've enjoyed people's comments on this thread, it reminds us to put things in perspective.

nioka · 17 January 2010

Fred Flintstone and his mob

for

their great invention

The

Wheel.

ThingyMajiggy · 17 January 2010

SIGHT
HEARING
SMELL
TASTE
TOUCH

Wouldn't want to be without any of them.

Julia · 17 January 2010

Mr J said:
It's all relative. All that matters is what we ourselves think, and if missing the train leads to a similar emotional state to starving that day, what's the difference? Yes, you can say that the difference is that one missed the train while the other starved, but like I said all that matters to us is how we feel about the situation, not what others think about it.
If we're thankful, who do we thank? Chance?

SM Junkie has more than adequately addressed your above remark, Mr J.

Every now and again you come out with something like this that to me seems so utterly insensitive and callous and I really wonder what sort of life experiences you have had, or probably more appropriately, not had.

How devastating is missing a train, for heaven's sake?
In no way could it compare to being starving, particularly bearing in mind that if someone is starving they are going to certainly be lacking the other essentials of life such as shelter, and any sense of security.

I can't help being reminded of someone I know who at retirement was able to look back at her well ordered life where nothing had gone wrong (no sickness,a stable marriage, kids all OK, government Super etc etc) and suggest that anyone who wasn't enjoying a similar situation was simply demonstrating poor planning!

Mr J, I often admire your intelligent and articulate responses to posts.

I realise you're young, but it's the superior attitude that you have in common with the woman described above. I'm sure neither of you mean to be arrogant but that's how it comes across.

Liar's Poker · 17 January 2010

City lights.
Manilla folders.
Softly lit, hills roads.
The sound of pen on paper.
Silence.

Smurf1976 · 18 January 2010

I've only ever missed a train once, but that's because I live where there are no trains to catch so I don't travel by train too often. But not to worry, nothing drastic happened when I missed the train, it just cost me $152.10 for a taxi.

I've missed a bus or two as well. Again, nothing drastic happened. I just drove, got a taxi, waited for the next bus or in one case ran like hell for 3km to the stop for another bus service instead.

I conclude that under normal circumstances in Australia, missing a bus or train isn't a life changing event. The only time I can remember the detail is because it cost me quite a bit for the taxi - but it certainly doesn't rate a mention as a major life event because it wasn't. Just a nuisance and a waste of money because I forgot about it being a public holiday with a different timetable.

I'd gladly walk to town and back every day (about 1.5 hours each way) rather than live under the conditions that many in the world have no choice but to endure. And I'm sure that those in such circumstances would wait all month for a bus or train to come and take them away from it. But of course they don't have buses, or trains, or food, or shelter, or clean water, or safety...

The biggest problems I can find that have affected me over the past few days are that I burnt my finger on Saturday morning, the TV signal disappeared for a few minutes during a storm on Saturday evening and the mower ran out of petrol literally half a minute before I'd finished mowing the lawn on Sunday afternoon, at which point it immediately started to rain. Those are nuisances certainly, but they are absolutely trivial compared to what many have going on in their lives.

Tink · 18 January 2010

SM Junkie said:
I don't see how missing a train would evoke the same emotional state as starving. How would a person feel if they had little food and were unable to feed their family - total despair, hopelessness, extreme sadness, fear, failure perhaps. So if a person felt these emotions for missing the train, I'd suggest they better seek professional help.

Regardless of your belief system, being thankful or grateful is a way of focussing on all the good things in your life rather than giving power to all the negative. It also about stopping to appreciate the little things, which can be more important in the grand scheme of things.

I've enjoyed people's comments on this thread, it reminds us to put things in perspective.

Good post SM Junkie.

Mofra · 18 January 2010

Australia's wine glut - good quaffing at bargain prices

Mr J · 18 January 2010

I don't see how missing a train would evoke the same emotional state as starving.

I admit my example was a little extreme (few people will relate), but if you can't see my point, then to me it suggests you're not capable of viewing something from another person's perspective. To those who starve every day, how do you think it feels? Bad I'm sure, but they are also used to it. If you were put in that situation you would likely feel far worse than they do, because you are not used to it. We don't experience the same emotions equally, or even the same emotions in the same situation. It wasn't my goal to take this off-topic, just to provide a little balance.

Julia said:
Every now and again you come out with something like this that to me seems so utterly insensitive and callous and I really wonder what sort of life experiences you have had, or probably more appropriately, not had.

It's not callous. I didn't say that missing a train was as bad as starving at all, I just said that some people may feel this way. The example is actually irrelevant, because this can apply to everything. It also isn't as outrageous as you think, because many do skip meals over matters most here would call trivial.

I realise you're young, but it's the superior attitude that you have in common with the woman described above. I'm sure neither of you mean to be arrogant but that's how it comes across.

It only comes across that way due to intolerance of other perspectives, i.e. I present a point of view that others do not tolerate. I'm sorry if that is blunt, but I think it is true. I do know that going against emotional flow is bound to cause problems, as my attemtped objective comment will be seen far more extreme than it is. I'll stop now though, otherwise I'll risk getting into trouble for stirring.

The only attitude in my original post was where I asked who we have to thank, and that was in response to people being "thankful" for things that were provided by chance (such as being born in Australia - we couldn't be born anywhere else). Personally, I don't think discussion is ever inappropriate, but I can see that most will not appreciate that I looked for it here, so for that I apologise.

Wysiwyg · 18 January 2010

I admit my example was a little extreme (few people will relate), but if you can't see my point, then to me it suggests you're not capable of viewing something from another person's perspective.

Mork from Ork. Nanoo nanoo.

Tink · 18 January 2010

Fair enough Mr J, but you still havent answered the question of..

What are YOU grateful for?

thats if you want to answer it, that is.

DocK · 18 January 2010

I do love my children, honestly, but I'm very, very grateful that school begins again next week!

Most recent things to be grateful for are great friends, good food and wine, great company and conversation, the ability to laugh until your belly hurts and you dare not uncross your legs, being able to sit back and watch all our children "hang out" with each other - all of them being healthy and happy (not to mention smart and georgeous), a home to cram everybody into and an absolutely fantastic morning at the beach yesterday - water temp perfect, no rips and not a bluebottle in sight! Sometimes the stars line up just right.

After waving off the visitors I watched the news. Who can complain about much in their lives when they watch the terrible footage from Haiti? I bet most of them would rather be standing at a train station anywhere else in the world lamenting a missed train than the hell that they're in now!

gooner · 18 January 2010

Mr J said:
It's all relative. All that matters is what we ourselves think, and if missing the train leads to a similar emotional state to starving that day, what's the difference? Yes, you can say that the difference is that one missed the train while the other starved, but like I said all that matters to us is how we feel about the situation, not what others think about it.

If we're thankful, who do we thank? Chance?

You are right that it is how we feel about the situation that is important, but the reality is that it is often up to us how we feel about a situation. If you meet truly flexible people they are happy. This is because small stuff does not bother them much. Late bus, late plane- some people go mad, some could not really care that much. The latter are much happier. We all have our inbuilt personalities but can also learn to be more flexible. The reality is that starving is much worse than missing a bus. If our cognitions cause us to believe that missing a bus is a catastrophe, then IMHO that is a matter of faulty thinking. And the individual should try to change how they think about things.

More generally, health is the most important thing. This was brought home to me when I suddenly woke up with severe pain in my arm and back about 3 months back. The doctors have not been able to work out what it is and off to see my third specialist next week after the first specialist (orthopaedic surgeon) said there was nothing she could do as the MRI scan did not indicate any problem in the area of pain and the second specialist (neurologist) could not find the problem. I was on basic pain killers initially but these did nothing so my GP prescribed opiates which finally took most of the pain away. However, I am still unable to do my normal occupation or to help much around the house. And I have three children under 6.

The pain has started to moderate so have just come off the painkillers (a few days ago). Pain has increased (as expected) but is tolerable which is a good sign. Unfortunately, am now going through opiate withdrawal which sucks, but should only be a few more days before symptoms disappear or at least becomes minimal.

UBIQUITOUS · 18 January 2010

Sport. Any sport. Whatever you're into. It is great escapism. It interesting how humans have loved sport for thousands of years.

nomore4s · 18 January 2010

Mr J said:
I admit my example was a little extreme (few people will relate), but if you can't see my point, then to me it suggests you're not capable of viewing something from another person's perspective. To those who starve every day, how do you think it feels? Bad I'm sure, but they are also used to it. If you were put in that situation you would likely feel far worse than they do, because you are not used to it. We don't experience the same emotions equally, or even the same emotions in the same situation. It wasn't my goal to take this off-topic, just to provide a little balance.

Mr J, you knew exactly the type of response your post would draw out.

Some of your posts (not just on this thread) are designed to create the type of responses you got here which consequently takes the thread off topic and turns an interesting thread into an argumentative debate.

So lets try not to ruin this thread and try to keep it on topic.

Thank you

Buckfont · 18 January 2010

I hope you get better soon gooner

Mr J · 18 January 2010

Tink said:
Fair enough Mr J, but you still havent answered the question of..

What are YOU grateful for?

Grateful to many people, fortunate for many things. I appreciate many of the things listed in this thread, but put much of it down to chance rather than an individual to thank. I hope that makes sense.

Nomore4s, if I was trying to provoke an argument, the thread wouldn't already be back on-topic. I apologised for the inappropriate post and people have moved on. No problem here.

Rakarth · 18 January 2010

The Internet.
Lets me keep in touch with people, find out what's going on in the world, and answer those niggling questions that pop in to your head that normally drive you mad.

ROE · 18 January 2010

Australia for giving everyone (doesnt matter where you come from)
an oppotunity to live the life they want provided they work hard, save more and spend less

I'm a lot more fortunate than alot of people living in Australia and my heart goes out to those who are less fortunate.

Julia · 18 January 2010

Mr J said:
I appreciate many of the things listed in this thread, but put much of it down to chance rather than an individual to thank. I hope that makes sense.

I don't think feeling thankful for anything assumes that we have to actually thank any individual for it.
It's probably more a case of comparing our lot with that of others, and appreciating how much more fortunate we are.

Or simply being aware of a sense of OK-ness.

Things I'm Grateful For

SM Junkie

nioka

ThingyMajiggy

Julia

In Memoriam

Liar's Poker

Smurf1976

Tink

Mofra

Mr J

Wysiwyg

Everyone wants money

Tink

DocK

gooner

UBIQUITOUS

nomore4s

Commonsense isn't that common

Buckfont

Mr J

Rakarth

ROE

Julia

In Memoriam

Similar threads

Things I'm Grateful For

In Memoriam

Everyone wants money

Commonsense isn't that common

In Memoriam

Similar threads

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency