The thing about that type of happiness is that you become a slave to others. You become a people-pleaser and you are dependent upon being able to constantly perform up to others' expectations. What happens when you stop working at age 70? Whom will you please then? The ladies at the bowling club? Everything about your natural self is subjugated this way.
This is a valid point and one which has perhaps been a bit misinterpreted by subsequent posters. People who constantly feel the need to please others can come across as being needy for approval. Their lack of personal "OK-ness" doesn't allow them to feel whole unless someone else confers approval on them.
Hence we see these people often being anxious to do what they believe will win approval.
It can be difficult, though, to differentiate these folk from those who do feel fully confident in themselves and then from that base are happy to help others.
(This could go to the whole altruism argument.)
The happiness that is derived from doing that which you do naturally when you have no concern about what others are thinking - that's more dependable and stable. It also leads somewhere useful. It's not a meaningless loop.
Yes, I know what you're saying.
But perhaps it's sometimes a fine line between this level of confidence and independence and the more pathological disregard for what is good for a community and its members?
Some truth there, but man is a social animal. You need friends. You need social intercourse. Being loved and feeling belonging is important. Going fishing or to the footy on your own is not satisfying. Going to see a movie on your own and having no one to discuss it with afterwards is pitiful. Man is not an island.
Agree about the discussing of a movie type stuff. But not necessarily about other activities.
We are all different. (awful cliche.)
So some of us need the company of others to really enjoy most of what we do, whilst others find constant company inhibiting and irritating.
There's nothing more attractive than an authentic person. They always have people wanting to be around them. That's the (apparent) paradox.
Yes it is. And as above, mostly we find needy people unappealing company.
Confident, happy people who have clear ideas about what they like and dislike are attractive and interesting.
I say apparent because there's nothing paradoxical about it, it just looks that way. The inauthentic man is trying to please everyone, because he is afraid of not being good enough. But he gets what he fears - others' judgments. The authentic man makes no effort to please anyone, because he has no fear of his worth. He gets what he desires.
Well described. But again, it can be easy to fall over that line into being cocky, self opinionated and arrogant.
Going fishing on my own is one of the joys of my life. Going with others usually leads to problems and is nowhere near as relaxing as being on your own with nature. AND, I usually catch more fish that way. Then if there is no fish I dont have someone pestering me to move or go home early.
I don't agree that the world punishes the honest either nor does it punish the hard working.
Agree on both points.