Political Satire

If you have a Tesla make sure you keep up with the paternity checks for your wife, girlfriends, daughters, whoever.
Just saying..

New Tesla Comes With In-Built Baby Capsule for Child You Will Inevitably Have With Elon Musk​

Continuing his mission to single-handedly reverse declining global birth rates, Elon Musk has confirmed that all future Teslas will come standard with a baby capsule for the child he is statistically almost certain to have with you.

A member of the political party that espouses traditional family values, Musk – who at the time of writing had at least eleven twelve thirteen children to at least three four women – said fitting the child capsule as part of the production process would save time down the track.

“By the time the car is delivered, XI 3-Tech-Bro or whatever the **** the kid is called, will be born. So I figured it’s better to get the seat pre-installed – we all know how much of a hassle fitting those things can be”.
The Tesla’s will also include a piece of unique computer code, which can be used to update the car’s software or name the child.

Sky News Viewer Wonders What 4WD Was Wearing When Bruce Lehrmann Allegedly Stole It​

A Sky News viewer has responded angrily to news reports that Bruce Lehrmann is facing charges for stealing a 4WD in Tasmania, saying the Toyota Prado was probably asking for it.

Mark Hartman, 52, said you couldn’t do anything these days without being branded a thief. “We don’t even know the context yet. What was this Prado doing at the time? Had it been drinking? Was it out late at night? I bet it was done up in red paint and had its keys in the ignition. What’s a bloke supposed to do but read into that in a certain way?”

He said the car was probably wanting to get stolen. “You can’t just go out with your door unlocked, and new rims, and then have a whinge when someone comes and takes advantage of that”.

He said it was ‘good old fair dinkum common sense’ to ask questions. “What’s the world come to when you can’t steal a 4WD on a night out anymore? If you don’t want to be stolen, then it’s pretty simple – stay at home in the garage! I’ve been around the sun a few times myself, and the fact is boys will be boys, so this really is being overblown”.

Let's do it! Come on Albo!
You need to think big!