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Political Satire

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NRA Condemns Trump Rooftop Shooting, Calls for Immediate Ban on Rooftops​





America’s peak gun lobby says this weekend’s shooting, which saw a man fire at Donald Trump with an AR-15 from a nearby rooftop, is further evidence of the need for an urgent nation-wide ban on building coverings.

In a press conference following the incident, NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre said the time for complacency was over. “America has more rooftops than any other nation in the developed world. We have an obsession with rooftops and without them, today’s events would never have happened,” he said.

He called on the Government to immediately ban all rooftops, with a grace period for rooftop owners to hand in their rooftops without penalty.

“I want my children to grow up in an America that’s free of roof coverings. Sure, it’d be harder to keep the house dry in winter. But that’s a small price to pay for safety,’ he said.

Not all Republicans agree with the NRA’s plan for an outright ban however, with some calling for a different approach. “I actually think we need more rooftops,” one Republican voter said. “If every member of the crowd at the Trump rally had their own rooftop, we could have avoided this. Because let’s be clear – the only thing stopping a bad rooftop is a good rooftop”.

NRA Condemns Trump Rooftop Shooting, Calls for Immediate Ban on Rooftops — The Shovel

“I want my children to grow up in an America that’s free of roof coverings"
theshovel.com.au
 
Australia suggesting having an overseas recruitment drive for Australian Defence Force personel.
Apparently Russian and Chinese applicants are rolling in, the Govt is going to have to employ extra recruitment staff, might have to employ the "shovel" to load them. Lol

Suspected army spy's Instagram page reveals visit to sensitive Woomera military training area

A Russian-born soldier arrested on espionage charges has documented her recent visit to the sensitive Woomera military training area on a social media account which she also uses to monitor news from her country of birth.
www.abc.net.au
 
July 16, 2024

“Biden Is Senile, Incompetent Geriatric and Also Orchestrated Sophisticated Assassination Attempt”, Trump Supporters Say​



Shutterstock/Consolidated News Photos



Joe Biden is suffering from late-stage dementia, is unfit for any job of any kind and also devised and implemented a complex assassination attempt involving dozens of compromised Secret Service officers, local police, and a 20 year-old Antifa shooter posing as a Republican, Trump supporters say.

“Biden is so confused and disorientated he can hardly string a sentence together,” said one Trump supporter, who also believes Biden carefully masterminded the assassination attempt to make it look like it was carried out by a twenty-year-old nursing home worker, meticulously covering all traces of his involvement.

Another Trump voter said it was obvious that Biden – who he described as totally incompetent and thoroughly senile – was behind the shooting. “He can hardly walk. I think it’s pretty clear he was the one who climbed on the roof and pulled the trigger himself”.

"Biden Is Senile, Incompetent Geriatric and Also Orchestrated Sophisticated Assassination Attempt", Trump Supporters Say — The Shovel

Joe Biden is suffering from late-stage dementia, is unfit for any job of any kind and also devised and implemented a complex assassination attempt involving dozens of compromised Secret Service officers, local police, and a 20 year-old Antifa shooter posing as a Republican supporter.
theshovel.com.au
 
Comedy duo have to cancel show, for thinking taking the pizz out of Trump assassination attempt was a winner, but miss read the Australian public as many do.
No doubt some will shovel up a re written post, to a small but dedicated audience.

Jack Black ends Tenacious D tour after bandmate’s Trump assassination joke

Black said all future creative plans for the musical-comedy duo are on hold following a bad taste joke at a Sydney gig on Sunday.
www.smh.com.au

Tuesday night’s Newcastle concert by Tenacious D, the musical-comedy duo featuring Jack Black and Kyle Gass, has been called off without explanation, leaving fans in the queue outside the Newcastle Entertainment Centre demanding answers and others fuming online about wasted airfare and accommodation expenses.

The shock move comes the day after Gass was presented with a birthday cake onstage, and when asked what his wish was answered: “Don’t miss Trump next time.”

Promoter Frontier Touring posted on social media about 3pm on Tuesday that the Newcastle leg of the Spicy Meatball Tour had been postponed, but offered no explanation.

The move follows Monday night’s seemingly off-the-cuff comment from Gass in Sydney. Though in keeping with the duo’s anti-authoritarian brand of stoner comedy, it was met with an angry response by some on social media who have interpreted it as an expression of support for a would-be assassin.

Some commenters who profess to be fans have vowed to call time on their support of the band.

With the sudden but unexplained news that Newcastle’s show will not go ahead on Tuesday night, fans have been left to speculate on the reason and to wonder if the rest of the tour is also in doubt.

Tenacious D are due to play at the Brisbane Entertainment Centre on Thursday, Rod Laver Arena in Melbourne on Saturday and the Adelaide Entertainment Centre on Monday, before jetting to New Zealand for shows in Auckland and Wellington. Frontier has so far declined to comment on whether these shows will go ahead as planned, or if and when the Newcastle show will be rescheduled.
 
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It's good to see bad taste, gets what it deserves, gives us a bit of hope that common decency hasn't completely disappeared.
They couldn't have dug a bigger hole, if they were a shovel.

Jack Black ends Tenacious D tour after bandmate’s Trump assassination joke

Black said all future creative plans for the musical-comedy duo are on hold following a bad taste joke at a Sydney gig on Sunday.
www.smh.com.au

Tenacious D, the musical-comedy duo featuring Jack Black and Kyle Gass, has cancelled the rest of their tour after the latter’s remarks about the assassination attempt on former US president Donald Trump.

While onstage at a concert in Sydney on Sunday, Gass was presented with a birthday cake and asked to “make a wish” by Black. Gass responded, “Don’t miss Trump next time.” The video of Gass was widely circulated on social media.

Following Black’s statement, Gass apologised on Instagram.

“The line I improvised Sunday night in Sydney was highly inappropriate, dangerous and a terrible mistake,” he wrote. “I don’t condone violence in any kind, in any form, against anyone. What happened was a tragedy, and I’m incredibly sorry for my severe lack of judgement.”
 
It certainly wasn't the right thing to say. Certainly not to an audience of hundreds/thousands of people.
 
"Mad dog" Albo rides again


Labor Totally Unaware of Bikie Infiltration at Unions, Says Anthony ‘Mad-Dog’ Albanese​





Suggestions that the Labor Party had any knowledge of bikie gang infiltration at the construction union the CFMEU is ridiculous, according to Prime Minister Anthony Albanese, who says he wants to be referred to as Tony ‘Mad-Dog’ Albanese from now on.
In a heated media conference, a leather-clad Albanese strongly rejected claims of any knowledge of untoward behaviour, saying he had full confidence in his team, and Victorian Premier Jacinta ‘The Hammer’ Allan.

“I have a long association with the union movement but, as I said to my Chief of Staff Joe Knuckles this morning, we can’t be expected to know what they’re up to at any given moment,” Mad-Dog said.

He said he was confident Labor members would support his version of events, reminding them that a Labor membership was ‘for life’.
Albanese said he was keen to move on from the issue and refocus attention on the Government’s new tax incentives for 1500 cc motorcycles.

Labor Totally Unaware of Bikie Infiltration at Unions, Says Anthony 'Mad-Dog' Albanese — The Shovel

In a heated media conference, a leather-clad Albanese strongly rejected claims of any knowledge of untoward behaviour, saying he had full confidence in his team, as well as Victorian Premier Jacinta ‘The Hammer’ Allan.
theshovel.com.au
 
Back to The Shovel. As usual totally on point.

Network That Employs Alleged War Criminals and Rapists Surprised to Discover It Has a Culture Problem​





A television network that once employed an alleged war criminal as its state director and funded the legal costs of an accused rapist, does not have a good workplace culture, an investigation has found.

In a statement today, the Network said it was as surprised as anyone to discover it had a culture of bullying and misogyny.

“Our company is underpinned by our core values: Integrity, Respect and Funding The Legal Costs Of The Absolute Worst People In The Word. So we are deeply shocked to learn that our workplace culture has been found wanting,” a company spokesperson said.

“As an organisation we have always strived to foster a welcoming culture where women feel respected and men can write off a bill from a sex worker as a company expense.

“A culture where people can be themselves, no matter their background, race, gender or how many war crimes they’ve committed”.
The spokesperson said the company would take steps to improve its culture. “We’ve hired consultant Ben Roberts-Smith to find innovative new ways to improve our team moral moving forward”
 
And again..

Channel 7 Says It Doesn’t Have a Focking Bullying Problem You Stupid Dxckhead​



Shutterstock/TK Kurikawa



Channel 7 has denied whistleblower claims that the network has a toxic culture, saying you can shove your stupid allegations down your focking throat.


“Listen here you little xhits” a leaked company-wide email read. “We’ve had a management discussion and we agree there’s no culture problem here. If you don’t like the way we do things you can take your little whistleblower protections and put them somewhere else!

“From here on out we will be monitoring all communications in and out of the building and if we think you’re unhappy for any reason we’ll give you something to cry about”.

A spokesperson for Seven said these sorts of emails are nothing more than humorous jokes and pointed out the use of the emoji and “(JKS)” at the end of each paragraph.

“We regularly circulate funny emails like this to ensure morale “Remains at the all-time high it always is. Don’t forget to catch Border Security which is now mandatory viewing for all staff so they can see what happens if they try and leave Australia without telling us, haha jks …”
 
Is this Political Satire ? Is it barely plausible ? How crazy is this world anyway ?

Cocaine kingpin eludes global manhunt while playing in string of professional football teams​

Iona Cleave
July 22, 2024·6 min read
60



Sebastián Marset has been running one of the largest drug-trafficking schemes in South America
In a rundown petrol station on the outskirts of Montevideo, a teenager who had blown his salary on an Adidas David Beckham track jacket was filling up cars and dreaming of football stardom.

Ten years later, Sebastián Marset was running one of the largest drug-trafficking schemes in South America, flooding Western Europe with cocaine and evading thousands of international agents charged with finding him.

But the 33-year-old Uruguayan wasn’t on the run. He was hiding in plain sight, playing professional football for teams he had earned no right to be in - and wearing the famous number 23.

Calling himself the “King of the South”, a label stamped on cocaine bricks being shipped from Uruguayan ports to Belgium, the Netherlands and Germany, baby-faced Marset built up a narco empire worthy of a global manhunt and the infamy that now follows him.

Marset used his dirty fortune to sponsor and purchase teams across South America and later Europe, often placing himself in centre midfield, despite his lack of fitness and natural ability.

Cocaine kingpin eludes global manhunt while playing in string of professional football teams

In a rundown petrol station on the outskirts of Montevideo, a teenager who had blown his salary on an Adidas David Beckham track jacket was filling up cars and dreaming of football stardom.
www.yahoo.com
 
Is this political satire ? Is it the Matriarchy taking over the world ? Is it just a giant xiss take ? Or just fun in a women's world ..

Culture

Pouring champagne and ironing knickers: my day serving the matriarchy as a topless male waiter​

The Museum of Old and New Art in nipaluna/Hobart is allowing men into its Ladies Lounge for the first time – as long as they remove their shirts and serve its female patrons

Nick Buckley
Tue 31 Dec 2024 01.00 AEDT



“Mum”, a drag mistress sporting a severe blonde bob, dresses me in a black tuxedo jacket and tie, chest and belly exposed – then puts me to work ironing knickers. Later, I’m handed a feather duster with which to polish an array of white fibreglass dicks – alternately girthy, proud, veiny and shrivelled – protruding from the rich green velvet drapes (Peter Lundberg’s 91 Penises).
This is the price of entry to the Museum of Old and New Art’s Ladies Lounge – if you’re a man.

The nipaluna/Hobart museum reopened the lounge last week for a one-month victory lap, after a sex discrimination complaint first won by New South Wales man Jason Lau was overturned in lutruwita/Tasmania’s supreme court. Operating since 2020 as a space for women to luxuriate in their own company, the lounge is now allowing men to enter on select days – provided they remove their shirts and serve the matriarchy inside. This Saturday, I did both.

“The Ladies Lounge was this fertile female body. The men came in and sprinkled their seed on it [in the form of a court case] and together we grew something really beautiful,” the lounge’s creator, Kirsha Kaechele, told me earlier in the day. “It’s not a virgin birth, we needed the men, we needed Jason Lau. I want him to come back. He’s so cute and so nice and he was genuine in his inquiry.”

Pouring champagne and ironing knickers: my day serving the matriarchy as a topless male waiter

The Museum of Old and New Art in nipaluna/Hobart is allowing men into its Ladies Lounge for the first time – as long as they remove their shirts and serve its female patrons
www.theguardian.com
 
basilio said:
Is this political satire ? Is it the Matriarchy taking over the world ? Is it just a giant xiss take ? Or just fun in a women's world ..
Click to expand...
Museum of Old and New Art is Australia’s largest museum. Described by its owner as a “subversive adult Disneyland”, which is flattering,

Woke infantalism.
 
Knobby22 said:
Just a way to get publicity.
Click to expand...
Did you check out the history ? There was an initial sex discrimination case brought against MONA by a man who was refused entry to the Womens Lounge. This case was initially decided against MONA.
MONA then appealed to the Tasmanian Supreme Court who reversed the decision.

MONA then decided to allow men to enter the Womens Lounge - but on their terms. It was some outrageous fun - but then all the events at MONA have been pretty out there. It has never been for the faint of heart.

The two court appearances didn't come cheap. The arguments about the case are outlined in the two stories below

A Court Rules MONA's Women-Only Exhibition Must Admit Men

A Tasmanian judge has ruled that Museum of Old and New Art must stop turning men away from a women-only Ladies Lounge exhibition.
news.artnet.com

'Men are a little hysterical': MONA's Ladies Lounge wins discrimination decision appeal

Tasmania's Museum of Old and New Art was forced to shut down an exhibit exclusively for women earlier this year after a tribunal found it discriminatory. Now, a Supreme Court judge has quashed the decision.
www.sbs.com.au
 

Trump Orders Black Boxes to Be Replaced With White Boxes, Following Airline Tragedy​



Shutterstock/Lev Radin



Donald Trump has blamed diversity and inclusion policies for a mid-air plane collision in Washington DC, saying it never would have occurred if the plane was carrying a white, American-born, heterosexual flight recorder box.

In a media conference following the tragedy, the President blamed Barack Obama for the collision.

“Why are all the flight recorders all of a sudden black? I think that Barack Obama has a lot to answer for. Joe Biden too,” he said.

“It’s DEI gone mad. Flight recorders are getting appointed because of their colour, not because of their skills. I’ve read the legislation. It says that every airplane must have a black box. It’s crazy. Airlines are scared to even consider using a white box, because they know they’ll get criticised for it.

“Next thing you know we’re going to find out that this black box was disabled”.
Trump said all US planes would immediately be re-fitted with white, Christian, definitely heterosexual, Republican-voting male boxes.

Trump Orders Black Boxes to Be Replaced With White Boxes, Following Airline Tragedy — The Shovel

Donald Trump has blamed diversity and inclusion policies for a mid-air plane collision in Washington DC, saying it never would have occurred if the plane was carrying a white, American-born, heterosexual flight recorder box. In a media conference following the tragedy, the President blamed...
theshovel.com.au
 

Trump Caves on Tariffs After Albo Reminds Him US Relies on Australia For Copper Face Toner​



Shutterstock/Chip Somodevilla/X -@AlboMP

Donald Trump has backed down on a proposed 25% tariff on Australian mineral imports, after Anthony Albanese reminded him that the US imports of all its copper for orange facial toners from Australia.

“You can’t get that florescent orange look from just anywhere mate,” Albanese told Trump on a phone call today. “That’s 100% Australian copper, mined in the Pilbara region, crushed into a fine dust and then shipped directly to the US.

“You could of course experiment with other lower-quality products made locally in the US, but you’d risk looking ducking ridiculous”.

Following the call, Trump immediately made arrangements for Australia to be omitted from the tariff policy, citing ‘strategic alliance reasons’. Albanese was praised by the Australian mining industry, which sells around 4 million tonnes of copper dust to Trump each year.

Trump Caves on Tariffs After Albo Reminds Him US Relies on Australia For Copper Face Toner — The Shovel

“You can’t get that florescent orange look from just anywhere mate. That’s 100% Australian copper, mined in the Pilbara region, crushed into a fine dust and then shipped directly to the US"
theshovel.com.au
 
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