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Political Satire

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sptrawler said:
As you say some people like the shovel, some don't, all can chose to applaud or criticise him, that's life. It would be boring if we all liked the same thing.
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Frankly I think it is more about the quality of the individual pieces rather than the overall website. I remember someone else had a go at The Shovel and said "Why not quote Babylon Bee " . So I duly checked it out. I found it laboured, really nasty and just not funny at all. IMV it was just poor work.

If you want to see some really "gritty" satire there is a guy who has created an AI Trump. I have posted a couple of his pieces. They are very in your face. Perhaps in the imitation of Trump they have no boundaries and take no prisoners. Absolutely no subtlety . But then in no universe is Donald Trump a shrinking violet.

 
I think ones sense of humour may depend on their ideology and who is having the p155 taken.

Just a thought.
 

Submarine-Shaped Public Housing Proposed, in Attempt to Attract More Government Funding​



The new public housing proposed for Hoddle Street, Melbourne



In a desperate bid to lure the Federal Government into addressing the housing crisis, welfare rights groups have proposed new submarine-shaped public housing blocks, which they say will lead to hundreds of billions of dollars in extra funding.

“The trick is not to tell policy makers that they’re houses,” campaigner Natalie Kusama said. “Instead we’ll say they’re high-tech military devices personally approved by the US President. The money will flow immediately”.

It is expected the plan could net up to $350 billion, which could fund as many as a million new homes. “We’ll probably have to agree for the apartments to be designed in the UK, use US technology, be built in Adelaide and then shipped to where they’re needed. But it’s the only way we’ll get the proposal over the line”.

Kusama admitted the plan was inspired by the AUKUS submarine program, but said the two project were quite different. “These apartments will actually get built”.

Submarine-Shaped Public Housing Proposed, in Attempt to Attract More Government Funding — The Shovel

In a desperate bid to lure the Federal Government into addressing the housing crisis, welfare rights groups have proposed new submarine-shaped public housing blocks, which they say will lead to hundreds of billions of dollars in extra funding.
theshovel.com.au
 
At least it would have bipartisan support.
 
Someone went to a lot of trouble to make the image. Impressive.

Honestly it would be more of a tourist draw than the big wheel we ended up putting in Melbourne.
 
Jokes from (about..) the USSR

Question to Radio Yerevan: *

How would the Soviet Government react to a completely hopeless situation?
– We don’t give out any information about Soviet agriculture.

Are there any historical precedents for the Soviet system of elections?
– Yes, in the story of the Creation. God made Eve, put her in the Garden of Eden, and said to Adam: “Now choose a woman.”

Which nationality were Adam and Eve?
– Soviet.
Why’s that?
– They had one apple between them, they were both completely naked—and they believed they were in Paradise.
 
Not political satire but I didn't want to pollute the humour threads.

Every pollie knows holding a baby can get people onside however it is risky.

Just think this photo is funny as when the baby starts crying, it looks like Trump is joining in.

 

New Carbon ‘Capture & Storage’ Method Revealed​





EXPLAINER: One of the terms you’ll hear a lot in the climate debate is Carbon Capture Utilisation and Storage – CCUS, or just CCS. But what is it, and how does it work in practice?

The Carbon Capture process is a multi-step process which begins when fossil fuel companies take large amounts of money and insert them directly into political parties. The money is then mixed with other stimuli, such as lavish dinners and invitations to weddings. Other inducements, such as the promise of seven-figure board positions upon retirement from politics, are also added to the mix.

By this point in the process the politicians are said to be ‘captured’ – frozen motionless in a state of inaction against climate change, and unable to deliver on the electorate’s wishes.

This initial part of the process is known in technical circles as ‘donations’, although colloquially it is often also called ‘corruption’.
The second stage is a period of waiting, as the captured politicians are ‘stored’ for later use. This can last for several months or even years. When ready, the fossil fuel companies re-extract the money, in the form of political favours.

Due to a complex chemical reaction (known as ‘self interest’), by the time they are extracted, the favours can often be worth many times more than the initial money invested. For example, a few hundred grand and a fancy dinner can be converted into an opportunity to open up a multi-billion-dollar gas field a few years later.

Be sure to follow The Shovel for more insights and explainers

Government Reveals New Carbon ‘Capture & Storage’ Method — The Shovel

EXPLAINER: One of the terms you’ll hear a lot in the climate debate is Carbon Capture Utilisation and Storage – CCUS, or just CCS. But what is it, and how does it work in practice? The Carbon Capture process is a multi-step process which begins when fossil fuel companies take large amounts of...
theshovel.com.au

 
Which of these stories is satire and which is real ? Or whatever real is in 2024..


I married a top – but now he wants to be a bottom​

The man I fell in love with was dominant, but now he is obsessive and jealous. What can I do?

Pamela Stephenson Connolly
Tue 14 May 2024 20.51 AESTLast modified on Wed 15 May 2024 04.02 AEST


I am a man in my early 30s married to a man in his mid-50s. We have always been in an open relationship: we met at a sex party. When we met I was always a bottom and he a top. Over time, however, he has become obsessed with bottoming. He never penetrates me, even in a group, and has starting expressing jealousy about the tops that I attract. I feel he is throwing our life away in pursuit of a pipe dream and I long to get back the dominant top that I married – a role he is suited for physically. He has been looking at escort websites, which I find depressingly inevitable. How can I wake him up to reality?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bloke Who Got Free Uni and Paid $75,000 for $4M House Wonders What’s in Budget for Him​





A resident of Hawthorn in Melbourne’s east says he is furious that there is nothing in the budget for those struggling to maintain the upkeep on their tennis courts and holiday homes.

“All of these hand-outs for families, and students and renters. Well what about the people who don’t have a HECS debt? What about the people who don’t have a mortgage? Who don’t have to pay rent? Where’s the handout for them?

“You wouldn’t believe how hard it is right now. Try getting a builder to renovate a holiday house in Portsea – they’re booked up until 2026! That’s two years minimum without a second entertaining area over the summer months.

“And I’m not just having to pay for myself. Sure, my kids may have moved out of home, but I’ve still got five dependents – or ‘investment properties’ as some people like to call them. They don’t just pay for themselves. Well actually, they do, bad example, but you know what I mean.

“People like me are getting squeezed right now. I mean, just look at how high interest rates are at the moment. Yes, it’s true that I don’t have a mortgage, because I only paid $75,000 for my house. But it doesn’t change the fact that 6% is a large number”.
 

David McBride Starting to Wish He’d Just Leaked Confidential Tax Information for PwC Instead​





Whistleblower David McBride says that if he had his time again, he would undermine the effectiveness of Australia’s taxation system rather than trying to prevent war crimes.

Facing trial for revealing details of war crimes in Afghanistan, McBride said he wished he’d leaked information as a partner at PwC, rather than at the ADF. “If only I’d helped multi-national organisations use confidential information to set up elaborate tax avoidance systems to the detriment of ordinary Australians, I’d be a free man right now. But instead I chose to provide information that could lead to the arrest of murderers. I’m such an idiot!”

Legal experts confirmed that revealing war crimes could see you get a life sentence in prison, whereas on-selling confidential government policy could see you get a seven-figure severance package”.

David McBride Starting to Wish He’d Just Leaked Confidential Tax Information for PwC Instead — The Shovel

Whistleblower David McBride says that if he had his time again, he would undermine the effectiveness of Australia’s taxation system rather than trying to prevent war crimes.
theshovel.com.au
 
How Duttons proposed Nuclear Power projects will work

Coalition to Deliver Nuclear Power Using Existing Copper Phone Network​





Peter Dutton unveiled his party’s signature energy policy today, saying it will be able to deliver nuclear power faster and more cheaply by utilising Telecom’s 80 year-old copper home phone network.

Under the Coalition’s ‘Nuclear-to-the-Node’ model, power would be generated by nuclear power plants then pumped to ‘nodes’ on street corners, before being delivered via copper into landline phone ports.

“This is a very modern approach to energy delivery,” Mr Dutton said, adding that the Coalition had been inspired by its own policy for the National Broadband Network. “If you like the NBN you’ll love our nuclear energy program”.

He said the decision meant Australians could look forward to cheaper electricity by 2055. “Cheaper bills are just around the corner. Your next 80 quarterly energy bills will be higher. But the good news is, after that, you’ll have totally forgotten about this policy and so you won’t blame me when your energy bills get even higher still”.
 
Apparently Albo has scrapped a trip to Washington, due to cost of living pressures.

Dutton tells MPs to ‘be ready’ for early election after PM scraps Washington visit

Anthony Albanese was expected to attend next week’s summit marking NATO’s 75th anniversary but Defence Minister Richard Marles will now travel to the US in his place.
www.smh.com.au

He could always fly economy class, like the rest of us.
But then again, after seeing Joe on the debate, he will well and truly have forgotten Albo anyway.
So it would probably be a bit of a wasted trip.
 
Wut? Economy class for a boy from a single parent and a housing estate?

Quelle horreur!
 

Biden Responds to Supreme Court Ruling by Immediately Assassinating Donald Trump​



Lev Radin/Shutterstock

Joe Biden has acted on a new ruling by the Supreme Court that allows Presidents to break the law for official purposes, ordering a hit on former US President Donald Trump.

Biden said the assassination was in the best interests of Americans who will now be spared another four years of the whining little Nazi baby man.

Under the new Supreme Court interpretation, Biden will not be held responsible for the murder which allows Presidents to “carry out the responsibilities of the executive branch under the Constitution”.

The Biden team used an unconventional method to carry out the assassination – an actor posing as Vladimir Putin was hired to tell Trump that he doesn’t like him. Trump immediately died of sadness.

Biden also assassinated six members of the Supreme Court. And Tucker Carlson.
More to come.

Biden Responds to Supreme Court Ruling by Immediately Assassinating Donald Trump — The Shovel

Joe Biden has acted on a new ruling by the Supreme Court that allows Presidents to break the law for official purposes, ordering a hit on former US President Donald Trump.
theshovel.com.au
 

Biden Responds to Supreme Court Ruling by Immediately Assassinating Donald Trump​


He probably would, if he could remember where he had left his gun and car keys.
 
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