Personal insults

[Timmy]

After reading this I have realised each one of us here needs to lift his game.

http://www.investmentpostcards.com/2010/07/26/when-insults-had-class/

Some samples:

"He had delusions of adequacy." – Walter Kerr
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." – Stephen Bishop
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." – Oscar Wilde

 

[nunthewiser]

hahahah

cheers Timmy , duly noted for my next internet argument

 

[trainspotter]

"I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception" - Groucho Marx

 

[tech/a]

Insults with class.

Something I will aspire to.

 

[Ruby]

A couple of my favourites:-

Margot Asquith to actress Jean Harlow (after tiring of JH addressing her as ‘MargoT’ – pronouncing the ‘T’),

“The ‘T’ is silent, as in ‘Harlow’”.

Earl of Sandwich to John Wilkes (18th C),
“You will die either on the gallows or of the pox.”

To which Wilkes replied,
“That must depend on whether I embrace your lordship’s principle or your mistress.”

 

[explod]

Insults with class.

Something I will aspire to.

No Champ, you are the top of the class, am thinking of going to High School so I can sit on a branch right up there.

an lernin sum spellin an settin out too.

 

[son of baglimit]

i would like to think the mods will provide just a bit of artistic licence when it comes to contributions to this thread. and with that.......

"DONT TELL ME HOW TO DO MY JOB - DO I COME TO YOUR WORK TO TELL YOU HOW TO SWEEP UP ?"

billy connolly, replying to hecklers.

but my personal favorite.......

Percy: I must say, Edmund, it was jolly nice of you to ask me to share your breakfast before the rigors of the day begin.
Edmund: Well, it is said, Percy, that civilized man seeks out good and intelligent company, so that, through learned discourse, he may rise above the savage and closer to God.
Percy: Yes, I've heard that.
Edmund: Personally, however, I like to start the day with a total ******** to remind me I'm best.

transript from blackadder series 2.

 

[disarray]

i always liked this effort by George Reid

In one particular incident his sense quick wit and affinity for humour were demonstrated when a heckler pointed to his ample paunch and exclaimed "What are you going to call it, George?" to which Reid replied: "If it's a boy, I'll call it after myself. If it's a girl I'll call it Victoria. But if, as I strongly suspect, it's nothing but piss and wind, I'll name it after you."

 

[bellenuit]

Another Winston Churchill that goes something like this....

Lady to Churchill. "Sir, you are drunk"
Churchill to lady. "Yes madam and you are ugly. But in the morning I'll be sober and you will still be ugly".

 

[Judd]

Samuel Clemens aka Mark Twain, could let rip with a few even on the deceased.

One of the best I recall was "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it."

 

[gav]

Another Winston Churchill that goes something like this....

Lady to Churchill. "Sir, you are drunk"
Churchill to lady. "Yes madam and you are ugly. But in the morning I'll be sober and you will still be ugly".

Lady to Churchill: "If you were husband, I'd give you poison."
Churchill to Lady: "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

 

[tech/a]

No Champ, you are the top of the class, am thinking of going to High School so I can sit on a branch right up there.

an lernin sum spellin an settin out too.

egcellant!!

 

[nioka]

The current electioneering reminds me of a classic put down.

It was in the days before telly when the pollies addressed the "mob" at public meetings and the radio broadcast live. Menzies was being heckled by someone loudly hissing. Menzies came out with "there are three things that hiss. A snake, a goose and a fool. Please come forth and be identified".

 

[Garpal Gumnut]

Perhaps we all need to leave the personal insults go and be nicer to each other.
Really, it does get too much at times.
I for one get terribly upset when I am insulted.
Could we all make a pact to be nice to one another for one week.
Kerry Packer did it once and said it made him a better person.
So, lets all be nice to one another.

gg

 

[nunthewiser]

i removed last post as i am in training to be a more sensitive and tolerant poster.

thankyou

 

[Mofra]

Kerry Packer did it once and said it made him a better person.

Urban myth/legend time:

Kerry Packer was gambling in a high rollers room, making a huge amount of noise, yelling shouting and having a whale of a time.
Another patron took offence and challenged Packer, telling him he was too loud and should shut up. Kerry looked at the man and said "how much are you worth?"
"33 million dollars" was the proud reply.
"I'll flip you for it" was Packer's response.

As far as comebacks go, I think it's a pretty good one.

 

[nunthewiser]

As far as comebacks go, I think it's a pretty good one.

heheheh i found a doozy of a come back, im just hoping it dont cost me any more infraction points for sharing it ....

 

[Putty7]

lol a classic nun

 

[Mofra]

I do remember an anonymous one from a while back: "This man is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot"

 

[trainspotter]

Gough Whitlam was at Blacktown when another woman heckler interrupted his discussion of a plan to sewer western Sydney by demanding incessantly where he stood on abortion. "In your case, I'd make it retrospective," Whitlam told her.