Idiots amongst us

When I received the following email today, I was reminded of a segment the Chaser team did several years ago where they depicted an unbelievably stupid person who had no idea how stupid they were.
They followed it with a large sign across the screen:

THIS PERSON VOTES
Have a read of these actual situations. I'm sure we've all come across variations of them, sadly.



IDIOT SIGHTING 1:


I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.'
I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said 'We're sorry but we don’t do that kind of thing.'
The cashier then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the people at MacD's in Maryborough Qld

IDIOT SIGHTING 2:

We had to have the garage door repaired.
The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'You need a 1/4 horsepower.'
I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said, 'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used that repairman since. Happened in Ipswich, Qld.

IDIOT SIGHTING 3:

I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbour call the local council to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Story from Bauple Qld


IDIOT SIGHTING 4:

My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
From Bankstown, Sydney ....

IDIOT SIGHTING 5:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

This happened at Brisbane Airport

IDIOT SIGHTING 6:

The pedestrian light on the corner beeps when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an 'intellectually challenged' co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the beeper was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She is a government employee in the Gladstone P.O. Qld

IDIOT SIGHTING 7:

When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'
His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'

Holden Dealership Townsville Qld

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us...!

This happened to me at Subway. I went in and asked for a 12 inch. The young girl looked confused , she then went to the Manager and asked what a 12 inch was and did they have it? He explained that a 12 inch was a Footlong and it was two 6 inches. Oh dear !! True Story .

Not really an idiot, but another Subway.

I can remember a young lady describing a foot-long as too much and a 6-inch as not enough.

As it was in a work environment, I had to contain myself.

Actually drsmith I have to agree with what the sales girl was saying.
Have you eaten a 6"? obviously not because I'm sure you would struggle with a 12".
However not knowing you personaly I may be wrong, you may have the ability to handle a footlong. That is a lot of food.
I personally don't go to subway,LOL

sptrawler said:

Actually drsmith I have to agree with what the sales girl was saying.
Have you eaten a 6"? obviously not because I'm sure you would struggle with a 12".
However not knowing you personaly I may be wrong, you may have the ability to handle a footlong. That is a lot of food.

Click to expand...

This was not at Subway but in a office environment amongst co-workers. With the response that came to my mind, she may have briefly pondered as to whether I was telling a lie or telling the truth, but I kept it too myself as I didn't want to risk ending up in the poop.

sptrawler said:

I personally don't go to subway,LOL

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I don't either, not since their alleged chicken gave me an irritable bowel.

It's good to have a laugh among mates.

Dr Smith - your co-worker probably thinks a double entendre is a drink! "'ll have a double entendre, no ice."

I was with a group when a joke was told which involved one, and the actual term. A couple of us smiled, but the rest looked blank until some asked "what's a double entendre?":

Julia, I think we all have one of these stories to tell, though at the time, I was amazed, not laughing.

The shows on TV seem to be running along that line at the moment, sadly - makes you wonder, honestly.

drsmith said:

Not really an idiot, but another Subway.

I can remember a young lady describing a foot-long as too much and a 6-inch as not enough.

As it was in a work environment, I had to contain myself.

Click to expand...

sp

Can you please read this again, maybe more than once,
You missed the joke!!!
When you get it, you will know why.
joe

Common theme seems to be Queensland ?

Bushman said:

Common theme seems to be Queensland ?

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Correct. Unfortunately there is no law against southerners coming up here to work at our maccas

drsmith said:

I don't either, not since their alleged chicken gave me an irritable bowel.

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:grinsking .....pays not to skim-read, huh .......the jokes just write themselves.....

Joules MM1 said:

:grinsking .....pays not to skim-read, huh .......the jokes just write themselves.....

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SIZE DOESN'T MATTER

But once youv'e had a V8 you don't go back to a Six!

johenmo said:

Dr Smith - your co-worker probably thinks a double entendre is a drink! "'ll have a double entendre, no ice."

I was with a group when a joke was told which involved one, and the actual term. A couple of us smiled, but the rest looked blank until some asked "what's a double entendre?":

Click to expand...

Lady walks into a bar. "Bartender I'll have a Double Entendre"

So he gave her one.

Idiots provide us with a lot of laughs. Did you hear the one about the old cow cocky who was telling his neighbour that he was going to drive to Sydney for a first time visit to the big smoke.

Neighbour...What route are you taking?

Cocky...Argh, I think I'll take the missus. After all, she stuck with me during the drought.

Bushman said:

Common theme seems to be Queensland ?

Click to expand...

Dear Bushman
It was so fun on reading the threads started by Julia.
But unfortunately I do not want Queensland to take the sole credit of idiosynchronism. This is not against Kevin Rudd either
I have seen similar story in Perth when offering $31.10 for getting a refund of $10 on $21.10 bill to avoid coins. The check out person said it was okay and do not need extra money to be loaded with coins.
Unfortunately I am finding Canada (Vancouver ) is taking the show from Perth and Qld. Here the One Cent coins are so many. Plus when you pay, it is unknown the calculated section of HST 12 % applies on which commodities. For some reasons the final bill always becomes $15.02 or something funny figures. So when I give them 5 cents or something like in addition, they do not take it saying it is okay and then you loade with smaller coins. I think they deliberately do to help the buskers in train stations, roads or tipping box .

As a side bar, 10 cents coin is smaller than 1 cent coin, and 5 cent coin is larger than 25 cents coin.

Should I blame the Canadian Government to be joining the OZ club ??

LOL

Miner said:

Dear Bushman
It was so fun on reading the threads started by Julia.
But unfortunately I do not want Queensland to take the sole credit of idiosynchronism. This is not against Kevin Rudd either
I have seen similar story in Perth when offering $31.10 for getting a refund of $10 on $21.10 bill to avoid coins. The check out person said it was okay and do not need extra money to be loaded with coins.
Unfortunately I am finding Canada (Vancouver ) is taking the show from Perth and Qld. Here the One Cent coins are so many. Plus when you pay, it is unknown the calculated section of HST 12 % applies on which commodities. For some reasons the final bill always becomes $15.02 or something funny figures. So when I give them 5 cents or something like in addition, they do not take it saying it is okay and then you loade with smaller coins. I think they deliberately do to help the buskers in train stations, roads or tipping box .

As a side bar, 10 cents coin is smaller than 1 cent coin, and 5 cent coin is larger than 25 cents coin.

Should I blame the Canadian Government to be joining the OZ club ??

LOL

Click to expand...

Actually the coins are identical in size to the American coins...I heard that Canada was abolishing the penny soon?

CanOz

I can remember a few posts on the ASF that probably qualifies as idiots amongst us.

- A guy thinking of using a loan at 7% to put in an online savings account at 6%. 5 posts later he realised that the saving rate is not a monthly rate.

- A trader thinking that putting an equal-size and opposite trade is somehow superior to just closing the existing trade.

- An investor thought his penny-dreadful tech share will be the most valuable company in the world one day, and that he'd be a billionaire (may be not a complete idiot to have a dream - but I struggle to differentiate between idiotic vs complete lack of rationality)

but I struggle to differentiate between idiotic vs complete lack of rationality)

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About 20-30 years!!
Dependant on idiot.

skc said:

I can remember a few posts on the ASF that probably qualifies as idiots amongst us.

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OK, this is where I have to include myself. I think I related this embarrassing tale on ASF when it happened a few years ago.

I'd bought a new kettle, pretty cheap, from The Warehouse. Got it home, out of the packaging, filled with water and went to plug it in. The plug wouldn't seem to fit in the wall outlet. Actually walked round the kitchen trying all the outlets. No way it would go in. Start cursing cheap Chinese rubbish, cranky about having to take it back etc etc.

Told the teenager on the counter at The Warehouse the item wasn't fit for Australian use.
(You'll have guessed it by now). He very politely told me I'd failed to remove the plastic prong cover on the plug.
Don't think I've ever felt more foolish. Apologised profusely. The very courteous young chap was kind enough to assure me I wasn't the first.

So I'm hardly one to be talking about idiots!