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How To Choose a Partner

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This is original, sound only , very catchy.

 
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Knobby22 said:
It's also about kids. I think if you don't have kids then biologically your brain will tell you that the other partner is infertile and you will stray.
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I don't agree with that one.

We are childless as are most of our friends. We are all in relationships of long standing, the longest being > 50 years.
 
I am a bad expert/example here, on my third marriage

Has lasted through some rough times for 15 years of bliss.

She is a great cook and her Mother is the only one I liked and could relate too.

If you have a break up give yourself a good three years to heal before moving on to a new partner. My second and many others fail within a year or two off the rebound.
 

Mine ticked most of those.

Re easy on the eye... my missus is 52 and I'm still fighting the bastards off. One of my clients asked the other day - "How did you end up with her?'

I wasn't sure whether to be offended or not.... :
 
You can cross all the T's and dot all the I's but there still an element of chance in there.
 
MrBurns said:
You can cross all the T's and dot all the I's but there still an element of chance in there.
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I actually ticked a good deal of them as the relationship developed.
Some took years to show themselves.

Fortunately they were all great attributes
How many people find characteristics that
Are relationship breakers over time!
 
MrBurns said:
You're very fortunate, good to see someone win for a change
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You know something I think very important
Knowing how to handle each other in times of
Hardship/Frustration/Conflict and Anger.

Positive outcome here----positive outcome everywhere.

What we found is giving each other space---- usually 2-3hrs ( one took 2 weeks!)
Then look at the issue together.
 

You're very lucky to have someone you can communicate with on that level, you'd be suprised how many couples can't.
 

Agree with Burnsie here. Just gotta get you to try and spread that luck around!

Your formula is easier than it sounds - is it hard not to bring baggage into it? Example: you ALWAYS do this....
 
+1. Very much agreed here. This stage (at least for my partner and myself) took a long time to reach. Lots of patience and understanding required.

Something that is easy to comprehend as words, but hard to implement is trying not to find perfection in each other. Balance out each others strengths and weaknesses, and learn from each other. This is the true beauty of a relationship, it's a lifelong pursuit of getting to know each other on an extremely intimate level. All in all, the ability to laugh at (and with) each other, and to look past misery and keep having fun together is essential.
 

Well said.

(we was robbed by Collingwood today}
 
MrBurns said:
Well said.

(we was robbed by Collingwood today}
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True, what a match.
The luck comment was true. There is a bit of luck, and gut feel and trust.

Other "rules" are that the relationship has more chance of lasting if the guy is older.
When I look in my family for instance all the guys are older than the girls by 4 years except one brother whose wife is 3 years younger.
I just think it helps when guys get to their mid 40s and start sensing their mortality. Only helps though. Won't save a marriage on its own.
 
We've been married almost 44 years. It would be silly to say it has all been bliss. My wife and I are quite different in several ways -- but we manage to resolve issues, even very challenging ones. This has, at times,required significant effort.
I don't think there's anything "special" about us and also don't consider that everyone needs to "hang in there".....
If there is one thing we do it is probably the fact that we talk things through, listen to one another and do our best not to be selfish.
But "choosing a partner" is very personal and I believe I have been [am] very fortunate.
 

Thanks Rick, this is turnng into a great thread.
 
tech/a said:
Only child.
She is however English.
She has taken me back to her homeland quite a few times.
I have to say there is something about English Girls.
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I'm guessing she's of a different vintage to the one's I usually meet. English women are usually best avoided in my experience!
 
MrBurns said:
Thanks Rick, this is turnng into a great thread.
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I appreciate this. However I would like to add that I (this is just me perhaps) find Internet discussions on personal topics like this to be limiting. An interchange of experiences on the net is OK but I doubt it will provide the answers some seek.

Sorry if I am stating the obvious but I felt I needed to qualify.
 
Well I'm still trying to work that out after two failed marriages but having fun sussing out possible new partners
I think children are not essential to a successful relationship as raising of children especially in a step family scenario can be very damaging to a relationship.
Mutual respect is no1 for me and taking time to get to know your partner before marriage is essential IMO..... 2yrs +
Tech and others in successful relationships how much of your opinion is rose colored.
Would you have said the same thing about previous partners before the end?
Are you sure your other half feels the same?
Previous emotional baggage (which we all have)brought into a new relationship
is OK if you have really reconciled yourself with it and has made you wiser .
 
Muschu said:
Sorry if I am stating the obvious but I felt I needed to qualify.
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I agree but it's interesting non the less, relationships are complicated, would make trading seem like a child's pastime I would think.
 
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