Happiness

Has anyone else noticed how unhappy and angry people are these days in western countries? There is no question that living standards have never been better even though housing is expensive and budgets are a little tight due to rising interest rates. But not much has really changed since 2021 when interets rates were much lower.

I read the following quote in an article titled, An Aussie woman has shared her struggles after becoming a homeowner on news.com.au (yes, I apologise in advance).

“Buying a house was a bad investment. My partner and I couldn’t afford a house close to the city so we bought way out in the suburbs,” she said.

“I’ve just had to start working a second job at a local pub a few nights a week due to rising interest rates and needing to afford mortgage payments.

“House maintenance is expensive — no more calling up your landlord, that’s your problem now.”

[...]

“Honestly owning a house has been the worst thing for my mental health,” one person shared.

“Prior to buying, I had money for anything, constantly travelled, shopping sprees, brand new car etc — was not under any financial pressure whatsoever since buying however sooo much of my money goes on the house.”

“I’ve done some renovations which has been upwards of $60k I used to dream of having $30k to blow on a trip overseas,” they continued.

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How have we become so fragile and precious? Have the empty promises of the materialist and consumerist fantasy promoted through relentless advertising led us down a spiritual dead end? Something is broken and happiness for most seems elusive. So what's the problem?

greggles said:

Has anyone else noticed how unhappy and angry people are these days in western countries? There is no question that living standards have never been better even though housing is expensive and budgets are a little tight due to rising interest rates. But not much has really changed since 2021 when interets rates were much lower.

I read the following quote in an article titled, An Aussie woman has shared her struggles after becoming a homeowner on news.com.au (yes, I apologise in advance).



How have we become so fragile and precious? Have the empty promises of the materialist and consumerist fantasy promoted through relentless advertising led us down a spiritual dead end? Something is broken and happiness for most seems elusive. So what's the problem?

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I think people are getting too soft.

Technology has prompted the desire for instant gratification and social media has made it easier for people to complain.

Although house prices are much more expensive these days due to increasing population and other factors so there is some cause for complaint, but people are more likely to complain rather than getting on with working to pay off the house.

greggles said:

Has anyone else noticed how unhappy and angry people are these days in western countries? There is no question that living standards have never been better even though housing is expensive and budgets are a little tight due to rising interest rates. But not much has really changed since 2021 when interets rates were much lower.

I read the following quote in an article titled, An Aussie woman has shared her struggles after becoming a homeowner on news.com.au (yes, I apologise in advance).



How have we become so fragile and precious? Have the empty promises of the materialist and consumerist fantasy promoted through relentless advertising led us down a spiritual dead end? Something is broken and happiness for most seems elusive. So what's the problem?

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Dopamine is the bodies way of rewarding itself, it also increases the release of endorphins, so when someone achieves a goal, gives or receives a gift, wins a race, completes a task or challenge, the body releases dopamine which makes the person feel good.

It is basically the bodies positive feedback loop for feeling happy and fulfilled, so if the body doesn't release it starts to feel the opposite.

I always try to apply old proverbs to things and the one that comes to mind in Australia over recent history is " the more people get, the more they want", at the moment a lot of people are having trouble getting their dopamine hit.

They can't achieve the goals that were easily achieved a couple of years ago, their longer term objectives are becoming less plausible, meeting their immediate running costs is becoming harder, they are getting stressed and angry, inflation does that to the middle class.

Those at the bottom of the tree have generally accepted their reality, those at the top of the tree living costs is not an issue, those in the middle feel like they are sliding down and the tree is growing taller faster than they can climb therefore they feel helpless, depressed and angry.

What is the difference between dopamine and endorphins?
They work together well, balancing pain control, mood stabilization, motivation, and pleasure. Endorphins relieve pain as it's being experienced. Meanwhile, dopamine motivates people to push through challenges and provides a reward for doing so. Both endorphins and dopamine provide a similar experience.

How do I know if I lack dopamine or serotonin?
A dopamine imbalance can cause depression symptoms, such as apathy and feelings of hopelessness, while a serotonin imbalance can affect the processing of emotions.

sptrawler said:

Dopamine is the bodies way of rewarding itself, it also increases the release of endorphins, so when someone achieves a goal, gives or receives a gift, wins a race, completes a task or challenge, the body releases dopamine which makes the person feel good.

It is basically the bodies positive feedback loop for feeling happy and fulfilled, so if the body doesn't release it starts to feel the opposite.

I always try to apply old proverbs to things and the one that comes to mind in Australia over recent history is " the more people get, the more they want", at the moment a lot of people are having trouble getting their dopamine hit.

They can't achieve the goals that were easily achieved a couple of years ago, their longer term objectives are becoming less plausible, meeting their immediate running costs is becoming harder, they are getting stressed and angry, inflation does that to the middle class.

Those at the bottom of the tree have generally accepted their reality, those at the top of the tree living costs is not an issue, those in the middle feel like they are sliding down and the tree is growing taller faster than they can climb therefore they feel helpless, depressed and angry.

What is the difference between dopamine and endorphins?
They work together well, balancing pain control, mood stabilization, motivation, and pleasure. Endorphins relieve pain as it's being experienced. Meanwhile, dopamine motivates people to push through challenges and provides a reward for doing so. Both endorphins and dopamine provide a similar experience.

How do I know if I lack dopamine or serotonin?
A dopamine imbalance can cause depression symptoms, such as apathy and feelings of hopelessness, while a serotonin imbalance can affect the processing of emotions.

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I do feel sorry for those at the bottom of the ladder. But our society has always had those at the bottom of the ladder. When times are difficult those who can think out of the box will still do okay. There are always ways to get ahead. Buy your entry level house and then rent out a room. When I was a young bloke share housing was the norm when you were in your 20s.

The real problem is social media. Nobody will buy a **** box that they have to renovate because that will be an admission that they are not "living their best life". Everyone wants McMansions with a media room instead of a two bedroom weatherboard fixer-upper. The endorphins you speak of are coming from social media now. People get an endorphin rush when their peers approve of their lifestyle so nobody's prepared to slum it in the outer suburbs anymore.

greggles said:

I do feel sorry for those at the bottom of the ladder. But our society has always had those at the bottom of the ladder. When times are difficult those who can think out of the box will still do okay. There are always ways to get ahead. Buy your entry level house and then rent out a room. When I was a young bloke share housing was the norm when you were in your 20s.

The real problem is social media. Nobody will buy a **** box that they have to renovate because that will be an admission that they are not "living their best life". Everyone wants McMansions with a media room instead of a two bedroom weatherboard fixer-upper. The endorphins you speak of are coming from social media now. People get an endorphin rush when their peers approve of their lifestyle so nobody's prepared to slum it in the outer suburbs anymore.

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So true, my first house was an old fibre and tile, that was chopped in half, roof taken off, transported 200klm and restumped. They couldn't transport the bathroom, because it was on a bricked up base, same with the chimney that held the stove in the kitchen and the fireplace in the lounge.
So it was a horrific couple of years with having to sort the house and having 3 kids under 4 years old, but as you say that was the option, or else take out a huge loan and get behind the eight ball.
It was a tough time but it set us up for life, we owned it and we improved it, which gave us the opportunity to move up the ladder.

When I was down in the dumps, because the wife had to look after the kids while, I was working and when I wasn't working I was trying to get the house livable.
I often wondered if it was worth it, she certainly didn't, we had a baby bath and a handbasin so we had to use one of those cheap shower attachments that slip over the taps, have the shower, then tip it down the toilet.
To say the missus wasn't impressed would be an understatement.

I talked to my late Mum about it at the time, as she had been through WW2 in the U.K and I asked her if it will affect the kids, she told me something I've always remembered, "kids don't remember what carpet was on the floor, or what curtains were on the windows, all they remember is if it was a happy home".
She was a wase lady my Mum.

.Some worthwhile ideas in this article. Helen Garner is a great observer and writer

Helen Garner on happiness: ‘It’s taken me 80 years to figure out it’s not a tranquil, sunlit realm’​

In a series of short essays, writers consider what happiness means to them now, after the reckoning of the past few years

• Read more in the What makes me happy now series

Helen Garner
Sun 5 Feb 2023 06.00 AEDTLast modified on Sun 5 Feb 2023 11.29 AEDT


What is happiness, anyway? Does anybody know? It’s taken me 80 years to figure out that it’s not a tranquil, sunlit realm at the top of the ladder you’ve spent your whole life hauling yourself up, rung by rung. It’s more like the thing that Christians call grace: you can’t earn it, you can’t strive for it, it’s not a reward for virtue. It exists all right, it will be given to you, but it’s fluid, it’s evasive, it’s out of reach. It’s something you glimpse in the corner of your eye until one day you’re up to your neck in it. And before you’ve had time to take a big gasp and name it, it’s gone.

So I’m not going to spend what’s left of my life hanging round waiting for it. I’m going to settle for small, random stabs of extreme interestingness – moments of intense awareness of the things I’m about to lose, and of gladness that they exist. Things that remind me of other things. Tiny scenes. Words that people choose, their accidentally biblical turns of phrase. Hand-lettered signs, quotes from books, offhand remarks that make me think of dead people, or of living ones I can no longer stand the sight of. I plan to keep writing them down, praising them, arranging them like stepping stones into the dark. Maybe they’ll lead me somewhere good before I shrivel up and blow away.

Don't know if this "happiness" but I thought it was bold move for a New Years resolution and worth giving a kick.


Suzy Weiss: Get Engaged (Editor of The Free Press)

I’ve had a great run being an independent woman. I’m proud of my college degrees and all the paid bills. I eat well, I sleep in, and I have a great job that I got completely on my own merit and not because I’m someone’s daughter. I’m someone's sister. It’s totally different.

But here we are, in the twilight years of my twenties. Party’s over and it’s time to get real. I’ve seen what’s out there. I’ve gone on dates with Bernie bros, artist types, tech guys, dirtbags, freeloaders, girl’s guys, mama’s boys, and in a few instances, sons of bitches. I know what’s for sale. I know when the shipments come in. I know that when a man says he’s not looking for anything serious, he’s really looking for himself, or worse, and it’s better to just call the cab now.

So my resolution: I’m getting married. I just don’t know to whom yet. Details!

Do I want to go full tradwife? No. I’d like to still go to the occasional movie alone, I don’t want to move to the sticks, and I won’t be quitting my job to start tending hearth and home. But I can get behind baking more bread and eating less seed oils. I’d like to learn more practical skills, or even a practical skill. I like being barefoot, I have a kitchen. All I need is the husband part.

Beam me up, Ballerina Farm.

basilio said:

Don't know if this "happiness" but I thought it was bold move for a New Years resolution and worth giving a kick.


Suzy Weiss: Get Engaged (Editor of The Free Press)

I’ve had a great run being an independent woman. I’m proud of my college degrees and all the paid bills. I eat well, I sleep in, and I have a great job that I got completely on my own merit and not because I’m someone’s daughter. I’m someone's sister. It’s totally different.

But here we are, in the twilight years of my twenties. Party’s over and it’s time to get real. I’ve seen what’s out there. I’ve gone on dates with Bernie bros, artist types, tech guys, dirtbags, freeloaders, girl’s guys, mama’s boys, and in a few instances, sons of bitches. I know what’s for sale. I know when the shipments come in. I know that when a man says he’s not looking for anything serious, he’s really looking for himself, or worse, and it’s better to just call the cab now.

So my resolution: I’m getting married. I just don’t know to whom yet. Details!

Do I want to go full tradwife? No. I’d like to still go to the occasional movie alone, I don’t want to move to the sticks, and I won’t be quitting my job to start tending hearth and home. But I can get behind baking more bread and eating less seed oils. I’d like to learn more practical skills, or even a practical skill. I like being barefoot, I have a kitchen. All I need is the husband part.

Beam me up, Ballerina Farm.

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Yes, I would like to write a wish list for a wife, but I would be cancelled.
Yet i've been married for 47 years.