Bulwer-Lytton Results 2006

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you've had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.

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GreatPig said:

For those interested in fiction, particularly bad fiction, the results of the 2006 Bulwer-Lytton contest are here.

This contest is essentially a worst openings contest, Bulwer-Lytton being he of the "It was a dark and stormy night" fame (no, that didn't originate with Snoopy ).

The "winning" entry:


Cheers,
GP

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"Send a message back to Command Central on Earth and ask for their advice, which we will be able receive immediately even at this great distance, thanks to the ingenious manipulation of coherent radiation through a Bose-Einstein condensate and the bizarre influence of the Aspect effect, which enables us to impart identical properties to remotely separated photons," Captain Buzz told the feathered Vjorkog at the comms desk, "and tell them our life-pod is going to explode in eight seconds."

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