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Bloody Funeral Advertisements

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Garpal Gumnut

Ross Island Hotel
Joined
2 January 2006
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There seems to be an epidemic of advertisements for funeral insurance on TV over the last three months.

They are usually fronted by some weather beaten old tart with pink jewellery or some washed out ancient actor opening and closing doors in a federation style house.

I guess the institutions have cleaned out all the poor bastards in the index funds and now are conning them into buying fancy coffins and casks for the final journey.

I myself wouldd be happy to be buried in an old banana box, near a fig tree.

Perhaps ASIC should look at this.

If ASIC couldn't protect the poor bastards in life, at least they could help them avoid paying for an expensive death.

gg
 
Haven't seen any for insurance but the ads for funeral services has increased and is nauseating, I refer particularly to the one with the catchy jingle " a time to live a time to die"
 
Garpal Gumnut said:
I myself wouldd be happy to be buried in an old banana box, near a fig tree.
Click to expand...

I'm going to be creamated and my ashes put into a chili pot plant along with an empty bottle of a lovely red. I've instructed my partner to eat the chilis. Upon consumption and following discharge, I'd like her to put it back into the pot plant and use for fertiliser.

Repeat process, over, and over and over again.
 
I haven't seen the advertising, but used to be horrified at the unscrupulous practices of the aboriginal funeral industry (yes, there is such an entity) when I was doing community work.

Aboriginal people have a great fear of being a burden to their family when they die. There are a couple of 'enterprising' organisations which prey on this vulnerability and go to aboriginal communities, calling door to door, describing all sorts of dire possibilities if the people don't have their funerals prepaid.
They never explain to the people that if they die without enough saved for a funeral then the state will bury them.

So they sell quite extraordinary plans after convincing people that they need to not only provide for themselves but also their children as that constitutes being a responsible parent.

I've never seen one of these plans which has an end date for the payments.
They say "it will only cost you $40 (or whatever) per fortnight and all your worries will be over. Your family will never have to worry about not having a really lovely funeral for you."

Now $40 p/f amounts to a bit over $1000 p.a., so even if they were to pay this for, say between five and ten years, that would cover a basic funeral.
But when you ask them how long they have to pay this fortnightly amount, there's never any end point. So they pay indefinitely from age about 30.
And even then, who's to be confident that the so called funeral companies will be around when the person dies!

It's a horrible racket, but no matter how you try to explain to the people that they're being ripped off, their trust in their own people exceeds their capacity to do the sums.
 
Sorry Julia, I have never seen a commitment from this kind of establishment for such a long period of time. EVER !!!

Usuallly they get about 2/5ths into a programme and go walkabout. Whether this be a financial obligation or a scholastic commitment. Many a government funded programme has come unstuck cause the "ASHTRAY" on the Landcruiser is full and needs the whole 4WD replaced. WHY? Because they have a budget to spend.

http://www.smh.com.au/national/millions-wasted-on-aboriginal-housing-20090318-925v.html

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200701/s1836199.htm

http://www.theaustralian.news.com.au/story/0,,23666993-17044,00.html

My wife works for one of these so called "POSITIVE DISCRIMATION" quangos and I have endeavoured to assist wherever I can. All to no avail.
 
Mr. Gumnut, you've been very active lately, what's going on?

When i went to my grandparent's platinum wedding anniversary at the local bowls club, there were all these funeral parlour ads at the end of the bowling greens. I found it amusing, but it was kinda macabre when you think about it.
 
I know what you're saying, and agree with regard to the examples in your links.

But there's a whole different trigger when it comes to death and funerals.
I've reached this conclusion after more than 12 years of attempting to get them to see reality.

There just seems to be some very powerful cultural fear of not being properly buried and the aboriginal funeral industry makes the most of this.
 
Definitely Julia, their sense of sorrow is very, very disturbing indeed. It is not only the WHOLE family that gets involved but the EXTENDED family usually gets to grieve as well. To witness RIOTS at a members funeral is frustating, to say the least. It always is acceptable that once one of their family members has no longer decided to share the oxygen above ground, it is socially permitted within the community to destroy whatever semblance of common decency the dearly departed may have afforded within the community.

It has taken you 12 years to discover that when an irresistible force meets an immovable object that the result is police sirens and bloodshed. Shame sister girl, shame.
 
I'd like to be buried close to a tree, a big one, possibly on a ridge in a rainforest so that my molecules could go into a grand old tree to support insects, and frogs and birds and other glorious creatures.

The fawning creepy advertisements treat death as being a burden on the next generation.

Put me in a sack or a banana box and bury me out toward the edge of the canopy in good soft ground and I'll be happy.

The usual suspects of an appearance similar to those who were the ads for the property fund, margin and other schemes, are appearing, weatherbeaten over oiled tarts and tweed Canberra type public servants.

The cheaper the funeral the better.

The thinner the box, the quicker to fertilise this beautiful earth of ours.

gg
 
Julia said:
There just seems to be some very powerful cultural fear of not being properly buried and the aboriginal funeral industry makes the most of this.
Click to expand...

At the fear of sounding culturally insensitve, one could make a mint in a business taking advantage of those fears. I for one don't have a problem with it if it was done in a proper way. Meaning having a set price with burials and ceromonies done within their guidelines and such. Basically the complete opposite of what you were saying happens Julia.
 
Reading Garpals original pulse it seems that a few "other" factors are likely to bear in these harsh economic times:

1) Funeral advertisements go through the roof (keep everyone VERY aware of their vunerability)

2) Gambling agencies upgrade their profit forecasts for the year 2009/10 (No job, but can afford $20 on race 5 in Doomben)

3) Fast food bottom line goes up by 27%. (lower socio economic white trash feed their faces even further). Comfort food is the winner.

4) Liquor stores treble profit in the first 6 months. (Once again, no job, but I can afford $59.95 for a litre of Jack Daniels to drown my sorrows)

Do you really want me to go on? Death ... overated in my opinion.
 
Julia, sorry to you for going on the attack Must be a full moon or something?

You are quite correct in trying to get aboriginals to see reality in their state of cultural fear in regards to "death" and the way they perceive it. I think it may have something to do with what is left behind after they are gone. In most cases the legacy is lived on by story telling of the achievements of the dearly departed. Somehow their spirit lives on through story telling.

To be "improperly" buried also invokes the common understanding that they will wander through the spirit world and will not passover to meet their ancestors. Sort of like "Ghost whisperer" but in a black kind of way.

To have 12 years of experience in this kind of industry must leave you downhearted to say the least. I feel sad.
 
Garpal Gumnut said:
There seems to be an epidemic of advertisements for funeral insurance on TV over the last three months.
Click to expand...

I agree, and the whole industry all seems a bit pointless too. You can just invest in something like Storm or Brisconnections and get buried for free in with it.
 
Aussiest said:
... at the local bowls club, there were all these funeral parlour ads at the end of the bowling greens...
Click to expand...

Thats because Lawn Bowls is the most dangerous sport in the world. More people die playing it than any other sport!!
Tell you granny and grandad to give it up now!!!
 
Got a Helo pilot mate who reckons he'll be cremated and save the cost of a funeral at the same time.

Jimmy quite often quotes this classic to those on board just before going vertical;

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers...."

(BTW you're safe he's not in Oz airspace..at the moment...but he does visit these forums : )
 
I'm so fed up with these adverts I've decided to be the first person to fail to turn up to my funeral. They just take it for granted we'll be there.
 
I agree, gordon. I didn't mean to convey any disrespect to aboriginal people for the way they feel about death. And it's actually more about not causing worry to their family in providing the funeral.
All I've ever tried to get them to change was their sad vulnerability to paying for their funerals several times over because they don't stop to do some simple arithmetic.

trainspotter said:
Julia, sorry to you for going on the attack Must be a full moon or something?
Click to expand...
No worries. I expressed the 12 years thing poorly - meant not that it had taken me 12 years to conclude what I did, but that I'd been labouring this point to them for that long.


No. As above, I wouldn't attempt to alter their beliefs in any way, and actually find interesting that (unlike so much of their attitude to money stuff in ordinary life) they are so concerned about being able to pay for the funeral.

I just hate to see anyone ripping off vulnerable people in any circumstances, but somehow it's worse when it's done on the basis of their cultural sensitivity about this matter.


To have 12 years of experience in this kind of industry must leave you downhearted to say the least. I feel sad.
Click to expand...
Don't do it any more, and not just because of this, but more just the widespread reluctance to make any changes that could lead to a life off welfare.
 
Hi Julia
May I ask which states you worked in with aboriginal communties?
This all sounds very white fella to me.
 
I can't remember the business name but there use to be an add on tv in SA where somebody knocks on the door of a rocking party and then this lady pops out. She goes on to tell that this is somebody's funeral and goes through the sale's pitch - looked like a standard teen party that would trash a house, which probably isn't quite appropriate for a funeral.
Then there was another add for 'Sensible Funerals' with Keith Russell, and the add looked very serious and sensitive, no BS.

Apparently both businesses are owned by Keith Russell.
 
Farencue said:
Hi Julia
May I ask which states you worked in with aboriginal communties?
This all sounds very white fella to me.
Click to expand...
Queensland.
Not sure what your last sentence means?
Btw, I didn't say I'd worked in aboriginal communities. I was with a community agency which had some aboriginal clients.
 
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